Review: Santa Claus - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade (PS4|5)

[Sturmvogel Prime]

TRASHSTORM (EPISODE XLVI)
HOW BREAKTHROUGH GAMING STOLE CHRISTMAS... AND BLEW IT UP



TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.


LIST OF PESTILENCE - THE TRASHSTORM SO FAR...

HALL OF INFAMY: THE WORST GAMES EVER Vol. I

Spoiler

I: EXIT TRASHFALL, WELCOME TRASHSTORM (POWER-DEAD BY BREAKTHROUGH GAMING) - (Nik & Kit's Math Quiz)
II: UNINSPIRED SPACE SHOOTOUTS - (X-Force Genesis)
III: NIGHTMARE DRIVING ON THE TRASH GAME ROAD - (Driverio)
IV: AGE OF DEVELOPER STUPIDITY - (Game Achievements "Stroke The Pet" Series)
V: TAKE THE TROPHIES, I DON'T WANT THEM! - (Rocketio)
VI: SUPERDISASTROUS SPACE SHOOTER SQUAD - (Super Rebellion)
VII: MYRON SAID "CRAPPY HOLIDAYS" - (Breakthrough Gaming: The Continents)
VIII: BREAK-TURD GAMING...AGAIN - (Project: Summer Ice - Pinball)
IX: DEEP SPACE ATROCITY - (Deep Space Anomaly)
X: ZAKYM'S DISASTROUS RETURN - (Rocketio 2 and 3)
XI: CRAPPER BOWL AND THE END OF BREAKTHROUGH GAMING - (Breakthrough Gaming's Football 2)
XII: ALPHA MORON - (Alpha Warrior by S-Mobile)
XIII: THE DEEP FREEZE - (SoulFrost by Xitilon)
XIV: WEBNETIC'S FIRST SHOOTER - (Space Defend by Webnetic)
XV: ONE BUTTON CATASTROPHE - (B Cannon by Xitilon)
XVI: CLASH FORCE? MORE LIKE TRASH FORCE! - (Clash Force)
XVII: TAURIAN MANURE - (Taurian Defense)
XVIII: INHUMAN ROAD: STINKING TURD LIGHTNING - (Thunder by Xitilon)
XIX: MORE XITILON TRASH - (S Lanes by Xitilon)
XX: TRASH-O-WEEN PRESENTS: CRAPPER-5 - (Hyper-5)
XXI: RED-CRAP-TOR - (RedRaptor)
XXII: FROM MEDIOCRE TO "X-CREMENT" - (X-Force Under Attack)
XXIII: CONSEQUENCE OF STUPIDITY - (Danjigoku)
XXIV: IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, IT'S EXTINCT - (Arcade Archives: Dinorex)
XXV: NEPHENTHEOSIC EUTHANASIA - (Nephenthesys)
XXVI: MESSED UP SHMOUPPING - (Shmoup by Phoenix Reborn Games)
XXVII: WAR AGAINST BLOCKS. AS STUPID AS IT SOUNDS - (Shooting Blocks by Webnetic)
XXVIII: (UN)HOLY WEEK SPECIAL - (Galactic Invasion by Pix Arts)
XXIX: DISADVENTURE IN VENARIS - (Flightpath: Adventures in Venaris)
XXX: THE OBSCENE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY - (Aabs Animals)

HALL OF INFAMY: THE WORST GAMES EVER Vol. II

Spoiler

XXXI: FECAL RAIDERS - (Space Raiders by Alexander Carparelli)
XXXII: STUPIDITY HAS NO LIMITS - (Hoodie Survivor by The Voices Games)
XXXIII: LEARN HOW (NOT) TO BE STUPID - (Learn to Play Vol. 2 - A Simple Shooter)
XXXIV: INVASION OF STUPIDITY - (Soraja Invaders)
XXXV: PAC-DISASTER - (Paku Paku)
XXXVI: THE GREAT STUPID RACE - (Learn to Play Vol. 4 - Happy Racer)
XXXVII: SEE-LA, CILLA! - (Cilla)
XXXVIII: DUMPED MIRAGE - (Cosmic Mirage)
XXXIX: TINY STARFIGHTERS, GREAT DISGRACES - (Tiny Starfighters)
XL: A BAD FRENZY (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART I) - (Tank Frenzy)
XLI: SHOT OUT AND WASTED (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART II) - (Anime Girls: Wasteland Shootout)
XLII: YOUR AVERAGE TRASH-O-WEEN REVIEW (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART III) - (Your Average Old School Shmup)
XLIII: A GLITCHED AND BLASTED TRASH-GIVING SPECIAL - (Glitch Blaster's Waifu)
XLIV: A NOT SO FUNNY TRASHMAS SPECIAL - (Y-Type by Y-ZO)
XLV: WHO YOU GONNA CALL...? - (Wave Buxters by Playstige Interactive)

THE UNHOLY BIBLE: THE LIST OF BREAKTHROUGH GAMING'S ABOMINATIONS Vol. I

Spoiler

I - Breakthrough Gaming's Space 2
II - Breakthrough Gaming's Football
III - Breakthrough Gaming's Avoid Them
IV - Breakthrough Gaming's Baseball
V - Breakthrough Gaming's Racing
VI - Breakthrough Gaming's Skateboarding
VII - Breakthrough Gaming's Track
VIII - Breakthrough Gaming's Catch the Bowling Balls
IX - Breakthrough Gaming's Baseball "Challenge Mode"
X - Breakthrough Gaming's Space
XI - Our Church and Halloween: Story One
XII - Our Church and Halloween: Story Two
XIII - Our Church and Halloween: Story Three
XIV - Our Church and Halloween: Story Four
XV - Breakthrough Gaming Get to the Top
XVI - Project Summer Ice - Bowling
XVII - ZJ The Ball
XVIII - Breakthrough Gaming's Track "Challenge Mode Edition"
XIX - Zippy the Circle Level 1 & 2
XX - Zippy the Circle Level 3 & 4
XXI - Zippy the Circle 5-6-7
XXII - Zippy the Circle 8-9-10
XXIII - Zippy the Circle 11-12-13
XXIV - Our Church and Halloween Story Five
XXV - Bowling - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade
XXVI - Avoid Them "Challenge Mode Edition"
XXVII - Racing "Challenge Mode Edition"
XXVIII - Catch the Bowling Balls "Challenge Mode"
XXIX - Breakthrough Gaming's Pinball
XXX - Breakthrough Gaming's Soccer

THE UNHOLY BIBLE: THE LIST OF BREAKTHROUGH GAMING'S ABOMINATIONS Vol. II

Spoiler

XXXI - Breakthrough Gaming's Ice Hockey
XXXII - Breakthrough Gaming's Space 2 Challenge Mode Edition
XXXIII - Lent The Easter Bunny: Story One
XXXIV - Breakthrough Gaming's Rock, Paper, Scissors
XXXV - Breakthrough Gaming's Get to the Top 2
XXXVI - Welcome to the World of ZJ The Ball
XXXVII - Breakthrough Gaming's Basketball
XXXVIII - Breakthrough Gaming's Softball
XXXIX - Rock, Paper, Scissors Challenge Mode
XL - Breakthrough Gaming's Horse Riding
XLI - Breakthrough Gaming's Skateboarding 2
XLII - My First Date RPG - Oriana
XLIII - Jane's Story in the World of Project: Summer Ice
XLIV - Pinball (Machine #1): Our Church and Halloween
XLV - Welcome to Pammy's Story in the World of Project: Summer Ice
XVI - My First Date RPG - Elliot
XLVII - Pinball (Machine #3): Our Church and Halloween
XLVIII - Nik & Kit: Nik's Adventure
XLIX - Nik & Kit Racing
L - Soccer Challenge Mode Edition
LI - Skateboarding 2022 Special Edition
LII - Nik and Kit Arcade
LIII - Nik & Kit's Math Quiz
LIV - Breakthrough Gaming: The Continents
LV - Project Summer Ice - Pinball
LVI - Breakthrough Gaming's Football 2

This review is dedicated to all those neighbors who still have their Christmas tree and decorations in January and even early February.

My 57th Breakthrough Gaming review and I hope its the last of them for good and for Christ's sake.



Perhaps its fate I had to nod this quote AGAIN.
You earned it, Myron Kevan Tynes Jr. You and your videogame calamities.

If there's something worse than the Cascadian Calamity Event from Project Wingman is its videogame equivalent known as Breakthrough Gaming, and "By God...", just when I thought I was done with the blasphemous monster of modern day gaming, one of his abominations eluded my reviewings and I can't believe there was one more title from Myron Kevan Tynes Jr. that "dodged the bullet", but here it is: Santa Claus - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade.




He's playing some games, the worst he recalls...

The gameplay of Santa Claus - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade is as simple as mediocre you can imagine: You have to move Santa across the screen and pick the giftboxes while dodging the faces. This sounds simple if it wasn't for a small fuckup from Myron: The game goes out of control as soon as it begins. In any normal game, there's a speed that gradually climbs up as long as you're alive in the game, in Breakthrough Gaming's case its not and you'll be losing almost immediately because Myron, in his "Zero Tolerance" mentality, decided to throw you to the Game Over screen at the first mistake you make. Anyone who reads the Bible will perfectly know about how to forgive people. If we have to apply this on gaming, this would mean to be more tolerant with the players and give them 3 lives so they can learn to play the game. I know its an endless game where the idea is to rack up a high score but even endless games have lives and even obtainable spare lives though scoring. This game lacks of it and its sole purpose is to give you trophies after obtaining 1,000 points. A total of picking 10 giftboxes and the Platinum is yours.




Merry Christmas?
More like "Unholy Trashmas! AH-HAHA-HA-HAHAAAA!!".

The audiovisuals are the same no budget shit you will expect from Breakthrough Gaming, Santa is a cheap cutout with zero detail in an attempt to be retro and the crappy smileys and giftboxes are just awful at the point of making the Atari 2600 look like Sharp X68000 in comparison, same for the monotonous and annoying attract mode tune which is the only music this game has, leaving the game musicless and dead, just like everything Myron made all this time.


¿ ?
Maybe... Just Maybe...
Right now we can only hope this "Breakthrough Nightmare" is really over.

Breakthrough Gaming is like the cesspool of gaming, that horrible place where only fecal matter can be found and where all of Breakthrough Gaming stuff should be instead of consoles. While dedicating games to God and Jesus has a bright and good intention, Breakthrough Gaming/Project Summer Ice does the opposite: Being a joke and a mockery where the only offended are God, Jesus Christ and in this case, Santa Claus.

Myron, you should be thankful this heretic shit gets 1/10 in the R-Scale:



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