HORROR IN NEON LIGHTS
TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
LIST OF PESTILENCE - THE TRASHSTORM SO FAR...
HALL OF INFAMY: THE WORST GAMES EVER Vol. I
Spoiler
I: EXIT TRASHFALL, WELCOME TRASHSTORM (POWER-DEAD BY BREAKTHROUGH GAMING) - (Nik & Kit's Math Quiz)
II: UNINSPIRED SPACE SHOOTOUTS - (X-Force Genesis)
III: NIGHTMARE DRIVING ON THE TRASH GAME ROAD - (Driverio)
IV: AGE OF DEVELOPER STUPIDITY - (Game Achievements "Stroke The Pet" Series)
V: TAKE THE TROPHIES, I DON'T WANT THEM! - (Rocketio)
VI: SUPERDISASTROUS SPACE SHOOTER SQUAD - (Super Rebellion)
VII: MYRON SAID "CRAPPY HOLIDAYS" - (Breakthrough Gaming: The Continents)
VIII: BREAK-TURD GAMING...AGAIN - (Project: Summer Ice - Pinball)
IX: DEEP SPACE ATROCITY - (Deep Space Anomaly)
X: ZAKYM'S DISASTROUS RETURN - (Rocketio 2 and 3)
XI: CRAPPER BOWL AND THE END OF BREAKTHROUGH GAMING - (Breakthrough Gaming's Football 2)
XII: ALPHA MORON - (Alpha Warrior by S-Mobile)
XIII: THE DEEP FREEZE - (SoulFrost by Xitilon)
XIV: WEBNETIC'S FIRST SHOOTER - (Space Defend by Webnetic)
XV: ONE BUTTON CATASTROPHE - (B Cannon by Xitilon)
XVI: CLASH FORCE? MORE LIKE TRASH FORCE! - (Clash Force)
XVII: TAURIAN MANURE - (Taurian Defense)
XVIII: INHUMAN ROAD: STINKING TURD LIGHTNING - (Thunder by Xitilon)
XIX: MORE XITILON TRASH - (S Lanes by Xitilon)
XX: TRASH-O-WEEN PRESENTS: CRAPPER-5 - (Hyper-5)
XXI: RED-CRAP-TOR - (RedRaptor)
XXII: FROM MEDIOCRE TO "X-CREMENT" - (X-Force Under Attack)
XXIII: CONSEQUENCE OF STUPIDITY - (Danjigoku)
XXIV: IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, IT'S EXTINCT - (Arcade Archives: Dinorex)
XXV: NEPHENTHEOSIC EUTHANASIA - (Nephenthesys)
XXVI: MESSED UP SHMOUPPING - (Shmoup by Phoenix Reborn Games)
XXVII: WAR AGAINST BLOCKS. AS STUPID AS IT SOUNDS - (Shooting Blocks by Webnetic)
XXVIII: (UN)HOLY WEEK SPECIAL - (Galactic Invasion by Pix Arts)
XXIX: DISADVENTURE IN VENARIS - (Flightpath: Adventures in Venaris)
XXX: THE OBSCENE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY - (Aabs Animals)
II: UNINSPIRED SPACE SHOOTOUTS - (X-Force Genesis)
III: NIGHTMARE DRIVING ON THE TRASH GAME ROAD - (Driverio)
IV: AGE OF DEVELOPER STUPIDITY - (Game Achievements "Stroke The Pet" Series)
V: TAKE THE TROPHIES, I DON'T WANT THEM! - (Rocketio)
VI: SUPERDISASTROUS SPACE SHOOTER SQUAD - (Super Rebellion)
VII: MYRON SAID "CRAPPY HOLIDAYS" - (Breakthrough Gaming: The Continents)
VIII: BREAK-TURD GAMING...AGAIN - (Project: Summer Ice - Pinball)
IX: DEEP SPACE ATROCITY - (Deep Space Anomaly)
X: ZAKYM'S DISASTROUS RETURN - (Rocketio 2 and 3)
XI: CRAPPER BOWL AND THE END OF BREAKTHROUGH GAMING - (Breakthrough Gaming's Football 2)
XII: ALPHA MORON - (Alpha Warrior by S-Mobile)
XIII: THE DEEP FREEZE - (SoulFrost by Xitilon)
XIV: WEBNETIC'S FIRST SHOOTER - (Space Defend by Webnetic)
XV: ONE BUTTON CATASTROPHE - (B Cannon by Xitilon)
XVI: CLASH FORCE? MORE LIKE TRASH FORCE! - (Clash Force)
XVII: TAURIAN MANURE - (Taurian Defense)
XVIII: INHUMAN ROAD: STINKING TURD LIGHTNING - (Thunder by Xitilon)
XIX: MORE XITILON TRASH - (S Lanes by Xitilon)
XX: TRASH-O-WEEN PRESENTS: CRAPPER-5 - (Hyper-5)
XXI: RED-CRAP-TOR - (RedRaptor)
XXII: FROM MEDIOCRE TO "X-CREMENT" - (X-Force Under Attack)
XXIII: CONSEQUENCE OF STUPIDITY - (Danjigoku)
XXIV: IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, IT'S EXTINCT - (Arcade Archives: Dinorex)
XXV: NEPHENTHEOSIC EUTHANASIA - (Nephenthesys)
XXVI: MESSED UP SHMOUPPING - (Shmoup by Phoenix Reborn Games)
XXVII: WAR AGAINST BLOCKS. AS STUPID AS IT SOUNDS - (Shooting Blocks by Webnetic)
XXVIII: (UN)HOLY WEEK SPECIAL - (Galactic Invasion by Pix Arts)
XXIX: DISADVENTURE IN VENARIS - (Flightpath: Adventures in Venaris)
XXX: THE OBSCENE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY - (Aabs Animals)
HALL OF INFAMY: THE WORST GAMES EVER Vol. II
Spoiler
XXXI: FECAL RAIDERS - (Space Raiders by Alexander Carparelli)
XXXII: STUPIDITY HAS NO LIMITS - (Hoodie Survivor by The Voices Games)
XXXIII: LEARN HOW (NOT) TO BE STUPID - (Learn to Play Vol. 2 - A Simple Shooter)
XXXIV: INVASION OF STUPIDITY - (Soraja Invaders)
XXXV: PAC-DISASTER - (Paku Paku)
XXXVI: THE GREAT STUPID RACE - (Learn to Play Vol. 4 - Happy Racer)
XXXVII: SEE-LA, CILLA! - (Cilla)
XXXVIII: DUMPED MIRAGE - (Cosmic Mirage)
XXXIX: TINY STARFIGHTERS, GREAT DISGRACES - (Tiny Starfighters)
XL: A BAD FRENZY (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART I) - (Tank Frenzy)
XLI: SHOT OUT AND WASTED (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART II) - (Anime Girls: Wasteland Shootout)
XLII: YOUR AVERAGE TRASH-O-WEEN REVIEW (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART III) - (Your Average Old School Shmup)
XLIII: A GLITCHED AND BLASTED TRASH-GIVING SPECIAL - (Glitch Blaster's Waifu)
XLIV: A NOT SO FUNNY TRASHMAS SPECIAL - (Y-Type by Y-ZO)
XLV: WHO YOU GONNA CALL...? - (Wave Buxters by Playstige Interactive)
XLVI: HOW BREAKTHROUGH GAMING STOLE CHRISTMAS... AND BLEW IT UP - (Santa Claus - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade)
XLVII: XITILON'S FIRST RUN N' GUN - (EX-802 by Xitilon)
XLVIII: CHARMLESS CRAPPED BLAST - (Pixicharm - Starry Blast)
XLIX: UNHOLY WEEK 2025: NINJA FAILURE, BUT THERE'S GOOD MUSIC - (Tiny Pixels Vol. 1 - Ninpo Blast)
L: SURVIVING THE UNSPEAKABLE FATHOMS OF GAMING - (Marine Survivors)
XXXII: STUPIDITY HAS NO LIMITS - (Hoodie Survivor by The Voices Games)
XXXIII: LEARN HOW (NOT) TO BE STUPID - (Learn to Play Vol. 2 - A Simple Shooter)
XXXIV: INVASION OF STUPIDITY - (Soraja Invaders)
XXXV: PAC-DISASTER - (Paku Paku)
XXXVI: THE GREAT STUPID RACE - (Learn to Play Vol. 4 - Happy Racer)
XXXVII: SEE-LA, CILLA! - (Cilla)
XXXVIII: DUMPED MIRAGE - (Cosmic Mirage)
XXXIX: TINY STARFIGHTERS, GREAT DISGRACES - (Tiny Starfighters)
XL: A BAD FRENZY (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART I) - (Tank Frenzy)
XLI: SHOT OUT AND WASTED (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART II) - (Anime Girls: Wasteland Shootout)
XLII: YOUR AVERAGE TRASH-O-WEEN REVIEW (TRASH-O-WEEN SPECIAL 2024 - PART III) - (Your Average Old School Shmup)
XLIII: A GLITCHED AND BLASTED TRASH-GIVING SPECIAL - (Glitch Blaster's Waifu)
XLIV: A NOT SO FUNNY TRASHMAS SPECIAL - (Y-Type by Y-ZO)
XLV: WHO YOU GONNA CALL...? - (Wave Buxters by Playstige Interactive)
XLVI: HOW BREAKTHROUGH GAMING STOLE CHRISTMAS... AND BLEW IT UP - (Santa Claus - Breakthrough Gaming Arcade)
XLVII: XITILON'S FIRST RUN N' GUN - (EX-802 by Xitilon)
XLVIII: CHARMLESS CRAPPED BLAST - (Pixicharm - Starry Blast)
XLIX: UNHOLY WEEK 2025: NINJA FAILURE, BUT THERE'S GOOD MUSIC - (Tiny Pixels Vol. 1 - Ninpo Blast)
L: SURVIVING THE UNSPEAKABLE FATHOMS OF GAMING - (Marine Survivors)
Thought they're dead?
For our horror, they're back.
Part III of the Spring/Unholy Week Special. Just when I was thinking it would be just two games, this happened. What happened? Simple: AutoSlavic. Just when you thought this company was completely forgotten by time itself, they're back for a shittier exercise of gaming.
Why? Because they've brought ANOTHER Space KaBaam game: Space KaBaam Neon.
Toggle the cheats on and get the trophies.
This game is giving up on you already.
You know what's the most saddest, pathetic part of this game? Is when the game gives you the invincibility and even score multipliers as available cheats right out of the start of the game. Remember what I've said on Cosmic Mirage? as if the game's saying "This game is shit, just toggle the crap on and complete it".
It shines on the trash factor.
The gameplay of Space KaBaam Neon is practically the same as its previous three predecessors: Mindless shooting with your frontal single shot at all the enemies that appear infront of you. Despite the color type which implies faster enemies, they barely do something to shoot you down. Basically, they shoot one bullet per enemy on screen and that's all. So, there's no way to lose unless you commit suicide by deliberately crashing with them.
Crappy boss battle.
The only difference with the previous KaBaams is that the main weapon overheats and it has to wait until it cools down just like in XenoRaptor and Contra Rogue Corps (NOTE TO FUTURE DEVELOPERS: Don't take those two games as a role model). The overheating is indicated by your ship which gradually changes its color from blue to red, but even with this issue its still being an absurdely easy game at the point that you can get 100,000 points and get almost all of the trophies with your lowest power level.
"Easy to get", just like everything in this game.
When I said "Almost" is because you have to fully max up your ship in the Upgrade screen, the shop of this fucking mess. Fortunately, you have to buy 9 upgrades to max all the attributes of your ship and get the final Trophy and its Platinum. Congratulations, you've wasted two bucks in this shit ¿Did the cheap trophies of this game helped you to boost your total of hardly acquired Trophies?
Graphically, AutoSlavic made a turn for the worst in this game. Using the "Neon" as the excuse, they've dramatically degraded the visual quality of the game at the point that the space scenery looks like one of those cheaply animated kiddies themed YouTube video. This also affected the ship and enemy design, they look weird and horrible. Really, being "Neon" doesn't mean fuck up and look horrible. Compare that with Double Dragon Neon, it borrows the "Neon Lights" element to make it old school, but it doesn't miss the detailing to make it look modern. To put it simple: Space KaBaam Neon makes any of those horrendous courtroom sketches shown on the news look like a fucking Leonardo da Vinci painting. As for the music, is just a random guitaring trying to be hard rock. Nothing short of poetry.
Thanks for the words, Galaxy.
Space KaBaam Neon is not just a repetition of the previous fuckups of AutoSlavic (I used to call them mess ups or screw ups, but they're far worse), it takes them and makes them look terrible giving as a result an outrageous, repulsive, immature, obstinated, no-brained and INSULTING product that no one deserved to see or even play.
The final score: 1 R-9 out of 10 in the R-Scale:
The Eda Scale: The usual victim of videogame catastrophes.
Being a reviewer can push you to the limit.
Before you cross that line, stop. FULL STOP.
Supported by Cascadia Independence Force, Mitsurugi Security Service and Thunder Force 222
The videogame "Via Crucis" continues.
Next time, I'll be tackling the sequel of a bad Galaga clone with Galagi Shooter Ultimate Blast. God help us all.