Little things that annoy the hell out of you

[BIL]

Weird thing happened with my Photobucket account during that buggery they had a while back. All the images in my Metal Blackology went down, but with a bit of URL-pasting chicanery I rescued the lot and stuck 'em on imgur. Now those old links seem gone gone gone.

Oh well. Backed up all my stuff after the first PB balls-up, for whenever imgur goes tits-up.

[mycophobia]

we need a government-backed image host

[ED-057]

we need a government-backed image host

I don't think we should have to resort to 3rd party hosting at all. ISPs screwed everyone over by not allowing you to host your own stuff. They created a protocol apartheid so that corps could be the ones that controlled what information was available and the plebs could passively consume it.

[Ajora]

Misuse of the word 'literally'.

[Xyga]

When you were using a program you enjoyed a lot, without updating to newer versions for about a year or two, but you do a complete refresh of your computer, then re-install that program with the current version ... and it really, really, really sucks balls.

Now you have to dig into fucktons of older versions installers to find one that works like before (of course you didn't take note of the one you had), because the devs are the type to update every fucking week.

[Xyga]

A rain-loving cat that becomes a stealthy mop wandering your house ready to surprise-jump on your lap, computer, documents, books, bed, clothes, etc

[CyberAngel]

So, my country decided to get rid of the low-value coins. Makes sense for 1 and 2 "cents" since pretty much everyone has been rounding to the nearest 5 anyway for the last decade or so. But they also decided to drop 5 coins too and make everyone round to the nearest 10. Now we only have 10, 25 and 50 coins. Notice the outlier? I don't have any official estimates, but from experience quarters have been and still are the most popular coin. So now those that prefer cash can lose 5 "cents" on every shopping trip just because the government is stupid. Not to mention it's just plain inconvenient as hell.

[emphatic]

Seriously under-powered consumer remote controls. My Toshiba Bluray player is really decent, but the remote (the kind with one AAA battery) is friggin' annoying. Before I bought a new AVR, my former one had a programmable remote (a Pioneer AVR) and I had it controlling the Bluray player perfectly with no issues at all. It used 2 AAA batteries, so I'm guessing this is why. If I ran a consumer electronic products company, I would make sure that the remote was easy to use at all times.

[Thamiel]

Jumping on the windows 10 hate. Finally upgraded a couple months ago from windows 7, still can't fix corrupted audio when playing videos in a browser. Audio is totally fine otherwise, just goes to shit with youtube/bitchute etc.

Spent hours installing various older drivers, toggling setting etc. Fuck this thing.



Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[emphatic]

Boiling eggs. If they don't crack as you gently lower them into boiling water, you can't peel them without constant cuss-words when they're done.

[BIL]

This isn't really annoyance, more a bit of morbid fascination/cringe, but: Falsificare Accusations from FUCKIN YOUTUBE SCRUBS. Cheaters exist, of course! I'm not talking about splicing, or altered game speeds, or other more insidious stuff, though. Just idiots misunderstanding basic mechanics and fulminating thereon regardless. Hitboxes, i-frames, safespots and so on.

There's a real prize shitpost in this video's comments, which I'd assumed was the pick of the litter, and has served me well over the years.



(for the uninitiated, Contra III's hitboxes are friggin' tiny, almost danmaku-style, for good reason! several harder dodges would be impossible otherwise. skilled players will exploit this, naturally! it's kill or be killed, bro!)

It's so risible I eventually edited the name and avatar, partially in case it's some other poor fuck's name and/or face, mostly in case this guy really did attach himself to such utter ignorance (all this assuming, of course, it's not just trolling). I've said some dumb shit over the years and have tried to make amends, I hope anyway! Yo - I wouldn't trust you with a fuckin cup of coffee if I saw this attached to your online presence!

But idly scrolling through - it is an excellent run, worth rewatching now and then for both technical insight and simple entertainment - I see there's been a bumper crop in the last couple years. This, even after the runner posted detailed information on the game's mechanical features. It keeps happening!

It really is like observing the essence of ignorance in safe laboratory conditions. I get scepticism, but when someone clearly does not understand the most basic features of the thing they're observing, and is compelled to proclaim their judgement anyway? The seed of one of humanity's vilest demons lurks!

Anyway as I say not an annoyance per se. TBH I love these shitheads.

[mamboFoxtrot]

I lost track of how many "that bullet clearly touched you" comments I saw on shmup vids
tho I haven't looked for a while -- maybe by now most people have gotten the picture?

[kitten]

This isn't really annoyance, more a bit of morbid fascination/cringe, but: Falsificare Accusations from FUCKIN YOUTUBE SCRUBS. Cheaters exist, of course! I'm not talking about splicing, or altered game speeds, or other more insidious stuff, though. Just idiots misunderstanding basic mechanics and fulminating thereon regardless. Hitboxes, i-frames, safespots and so on.

what drives me nuts about these types is that they're the same to post "wow, you're really great at this game!" on things like world of longplays videos, which are almost exclusively heavily tool-assisted through and obviously played by amateurs who don't know basic strategies you'd naturally discover. when looking up strategies while playing cross wiber, the retard playing it on world of longplays didn't even figure out for the entire game that the select button transforms you when you cross the proper HP threshold. it's amazing!!

i remember arguing with some moron about his werewolf: the last warrior nomiss and how it was extremely obviously not done by someone who had ever naturally beaten the game and pointed out numerous ways in which his play was incompetent. he's got a ton of videos up where he just happens to buster keaton his way to victory and it's obvious something was highly amiss. he kept insisting he really did it - then i noticed a couple of months later he'd uploaded a new werewolf video that was still obviously by an amateur after i'd called him out, claiming in the description he felt unhappy with his level of play in the previous.

this infuriated me, so i looked at his video history for games he couldn't have savestated through and found the ps3 duck tales, which he dies numerous times playing. fucking lol. can miraculously clear werewolf without dying, but can't even get through fucking duck tales without numerous deaths. it's a little amusing, but these people seriously drive me up a wall.

[BIL]

I lost track of how many "that bullet clearly touched you" comments I saw on shmup vids
tho I haven't looked for a while -- maybe by now most people have gotten the picture?

That was the spirit of hope with which I revisited the comments - it was not to be!

MY SUPER HOT TAKES ON THE ISSUE!!



^^^ Imagine not having the invincibility code CRY MORE NOOB



^^^ Yo, I know that 35y/o dude, I mow he lawn every Sunday when he wife at the supermarket - mediocre Contra III player tbh but damn, he know how to rub a man neck. He even paid me to teach him some wrestling moves. Ha! I kid! OR DO I? What do you expect me to do - back my internet shit up? LMAO

A spark of sanity:



^^^ The UFO in question is a POW carrier, which the runner doesn't want to open because speedrun = no weapon pickups past stage 1, so he deliberately lets it float past. That's how they work! It's not R-TYPE for the IREM M72 where the powerup delivery mechanism can kill the player!

I'm kidding, I don't know what the fuck POW Armors are supposed to be. Maybe they stole all the powerups! I think their cute little walking animation and rotund form are a sinister trap to lure you in!

The important thing here is: he asked! That spirit of enquiry, that human capacity to recognise one's own limitations and seek guidance - that is important! I provide him with an answer, because I am a cool and personable dude on the internet! I LIKED MY OWN COMMENT 2! Well, I am cool until someone disses my godfather Jaquio aka GUARDIA DE MIEUX. Then, I turn into the feared R2RKMF enforcer Birufordo von Beast Fuck aka ANIMALE DE POLLO (it's a hood name. we get them after being jumped-in to the R2RKMF. I ain't choose it. )

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FUCK WITH ME, BOY!

Spoiler

CANT YOU SEE MY POLLO IN MY HAND



^^^ The XTREEM hero worship / difficulty exaggeration isn't too helpful either... this dude is the internet's #1 sauce on Saigo no Nindou, a game nobody can see past the fourth stage of, because I and the million others who've 1LCd it are a race of super-beings sent to Earth to impart great gaming skills to the menfolk, and great sex to the women. HA! I had you going until the end, didn't I? Obviously, we are here to be JO buddies to the menfolk.

it's a little amusing, but these people seriously drive me up a wall.

Yeah, you must be careful not to overdo it with the hard stuff! This is weapons-grade noobfuckery!

[kitten]

a game nobody can see past the fourth stage of

where do they come up with this shit? their "one friend who is good at games?" their own personal experience? just guessing?

[BIL]

In that dude's Saigo fantasy, it's probably st4 being the point where the game really stomps down on sub-optimal play. A great Shikigami no Shiro III quote comes to mind - its speaker appropriately lycanthropic, even!

"You can't bluff your way through this one. Die."

Fuck yes, ice cold.

You know, I heard BGR-44 (Saigo player referenced above, celebrated STG scorer) supposedly did get into some deep shit re: falsificare, but it seemed ambiguous at the time. I shall go research. Regardless, if someone posts that shit without so much as a hint of elaboration imma whip out the pollo and smack that dislike.

[Mischief Maker]

I think I just stumbled across the source of such noobtastic opinions: The miserable attempt to piggyback off a successful youtube franchise, "Honest GAME Trailers."

The one I just saw describes the gameplay of Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3 as basically Streets of Rage.

And enjoy their Devil May Cry videos if you'd like to pop a few blood vessels.

[BIL]

If I ever want my account incinerated on the spot, I'm gonna PM system11 with the Ninja Gaiden arcade review I read the other day that calls the NES game "an intricate and demanding trial" (AKA: We already got all your money, kid! No continues for you!), and the arcade one more likeable because it's "a good old button bash you can finish in an afternoon" (AKA: Aren't continues great, kid? Give us all your money!). Everyone's an expert on the internet, it must be true!

I'm kidding bloodf pls don't throw me in the slammer I ain't even played the AC one! It has rad intermissions though!



Little Annoyed Hell GAIDEN: everyone knows & talks up the "Continue" screen. Fuck I only saw it for a split-second at six years old and I never forgot it (I sure forgot Ryu's goofy "OUUU" death sound, though!). But why is this game's sense of humour so underrated? It's hilarious and completely taking the piss out of 80s ninja fever! Ryu is basically on a business trip to kill some assless chaps weirdo, with plenty of R&R interspersed. After a light afternoon's work beating Jason Voorhees cosplayers to death, my boy's gonna hit the tables and then hit the sack! NINJA IN USA indeed!

I mean obviously it's pretty rough knowing that if he fails, he gets fucking buzzsawed in half, but that's not a problem for 1CCs aka REAL NINJA MONOGATARI! Hey, wait a minute... Ryu's Great Buzzsaw Predicament was totally a Goldfinger riff, wasn't it yeah I know, slowpoke.jpg but like I said nobody ever talks about this stuff!

[orange808]

It depends on the vid. Cheaters are definitely out there.

10:30

https://youtu.be/0t1TmoP4kiM

[Steamflogger Boss]

I didn't know this kind of idiocy was out there. Well I take that back I know people are absolute morons I just didn't know it spilled over into the gaming on youtube scene. Commenting on a game while knowing absolutely nothing about it. Classy.

It depends on the vid. Cheaters are definitely out there.

10:30

https://youtu.be/0t1TmoP4kiM

Looks like all the commenters are fooled...

I'm not going to watch the video because I'm lazy and I assume if you are posting it you are being honest that it's full of cheats.

[BIL]

It depends on the vid. Cheaters are definitely out there.

They are, unquestionably. See the ongoing marvel of BIRRY MITCHELL.

Stand user: Birry Mitchell
Stand name: NO MORE TEARS
"STREISAND EFFECT! GOOO!"

However it's one thing to call a video superhumanly performed, or doctored in some way... and another to demonstrate absolute ignorance of a game's mechanics, as with my good friend Legit Contra Player up top. The "burning floor" thing is utter dogshit, for example - he might as well say Hurblat cheated because the game booted up at power-on. The flames becoming harmless prior to their graphics completely disappearing is objectively how the game code works, no "1337 HAX" involved.

It's probably a comfort & style decision on Team SFX's part - would be annoying if your superhuman commandos had to wait for the tiniest specks of fire to disappear. Much more badass to plunge through as the raging hell departs. I do it in my own Hard 1LC. I even hammer out some C+C as I descend for slow-mo fire runnin' PLAYER CHARACTER "BIRU RIZER" BGM "IT'S TIME FOR REVENGE / BLOODY STORM" fuck I want to boot it up right now.

I mean look at this motherfucker

Spoiler

And then here comes "Legit Contra Player" to empty his enlightened bowels all over the run, the player, and by extension the game itself. Some people are just animals, holy fuck.

[orange808]

No doubt, there. The worst part of it is: even Contra serfs like me already knew the fire wouldn't kill you, there. It's not even an obscure bit of trivia.

[kitten]

It depends on the vid. Cheaters are definitely out there.

10:30

https://youtu.be/0t1TmoP4kiM

you can tell most of this guy's vids are cheated just by the completely amateur play (just a saved replay of a TAS run). i've actually gone over his stuff in the action thread, at one point. however, some of his videos are actually done by other players - the ones done by arek the absolute/arek the dragon (you'll see in the description - most castlevania/makaimura shit) seem to be totally legit and actually useful to learn from.

i have to sound like some sort of deranged person about this stuff, but i don't deliberately go looking for it. it's always born from looking into a game i don't have or looking for strategies on a game i do have, then finding the most popular videos to consistently be TAS replays with the description either failing to mention or passing it off as legit.

the funny thing is that you can only tell they're TAS because of the extremely low effort and nonsensically amateur play. they could put just a bit of time in to learn game and have it appear legitimate. of course, then you wouldn't be able to get the humongous volume of output that sustains their channel and the constant ego-boost from fawning idiots that can't even tell you obviously don't know how to play. world of longplays at least used to admit that their players use tools, but you don't see any trace of that anymore - i guess it reduces viewership.

[BIL]

Obligatory >;3

The TAS-800 versus Dragon Blaze:

Spoiler

TLDW: "tickle the hellspraying enemy with your weak main shot that's meant for zako! You can just dodge everything, it looks RAD!"

Kyle Reese AKA humanity's strongest soldier SYO versus Dragon Blaze
TLDW: snuff that motherfucker out with your skull-cavingly powerful Dragon Shot before it shreds you to ribbons*.

Wouldn't blame anyone who swore off STGs for life, or went spectator-only, were they misled into thinking the first replay was genuine. Not only is it ludicrously impossible... it's also tactically foolish and makes a rich game look bereft. Worst of all worlds. Shaweet graphics though mirite.

*and if you're SYO-SAMA, make mad bank while doing so

EDIT: Oh sweet Jesus. Read the comments on SYO's run. I swear I didn't go looking for that, I just grabbed the first copy of that legendary run I could find.

[Jonny2x4]

Little Annoyed Hell GAIDEN: everyone knows & talks up the "Continue" screen. Fuck I only saw it for a split-second at six years old and I never forgot it (I sure forgot Ryu's goofy "OUUU" death sound, though!). But why is this game's sense of humour so underrated? It's hilarious and completely taking the piss out of 80s ninja fever! Ryu is basically on a business trip to kill some assless chaps weirdo, with plenty of R&R interspersed. After a light afternoon's work beating Jason Voorhees cosplayers to death, my boy's gonna hit the tables and then hit the sack! NINJA IN USA indeed!

I mean obviously it's pretty rough knowing that if he fails, he gets fucking buzzsawed in half, but that's not a problem for 1CCs aka REAL NINJA MONOGATARI! Hey, wait a minute... Ryu's Great Buzzsaw Predicament was totally a Goldfinger riff, wasn't it yeah I know, slowpoke.jpg but like I said nobody ever talks about this stuff!

I always wondered if the title "Ninja Gaiden" was chosen for the arcade game because how nonsensical it was and the people who decided to use it as an export title did not get the joke. The whole arcade game feels like its mocking the American Ninja trend of that period and what more fitting title than a title that sounds cool and foreign to Americans, but is actually completely nonsensical to anyone who actually understands Japanese. I like how the main antagonist is called fucking BLADEDAMUS. Like Nostradamus, but he's a loincloth-wearing swordsman.

[BIL]

I've been pleasantly surprised by Tecmo's 80s arcade stuff - they have a decided tongue-in-cheek, self-aware aspect that goes great with the ostensibly grimdark subject matter. Argus's goofy-ass little reaper carrying the dead hero away, the generally batshit "Japanese tourism PLUS MURDER" of Ninja Gaiden, Gemini Wing's cutest insect apocalypse ever (some walruses kidnap your friends... this one shoots you in the face!), and all the colour-cycling effects...

...which I was about to say "wouldn't have worked on NES," but suddenly Ninja Gaiden II and III's super-cool rainbow-cycling HUDs make a lot of sense! I wonder if they shared any technical expertise. They're cheerful games to have around - even the really quite horrific Wild Fang ("NO FUTURE!!") comes off more Kunio than Splatterhouse once you're siccing your righteously mauling pet tiger on vile beastmen and sending their heads flying across the screen.

[Steamflogger Boss]

the funny thing is that you can only tell they're TAS because of the extremely low effort and nonsensically amateur play. they could put just a bit of time in to learn game and have it appear legitimate. of course, then you wouldn't be able to get the humongous volume of output that sustains their channel and the constant ego-boost from fawning idiots that can't even tell you obviously don't know how to play. world of longplays at least used to admit that their players use tools, but you don't see any trace of that anymore - i guess it reduces viewership.

They might as well not care when their viewers don't. I watched a few and never noticed but I wasn't watching for the in depth reasons you are. I would do it to skim to see if it was a game I wanted to add to my collection or not.

This whole conversation has been fascinating to me.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

I've been pleasantly surprised by Tecmo's 80s arcade stuff

I actually am not super familiar with their arcade work outside of Raiga: Strato Fighter which I somehow stumbled upon and became enamored with, but if it's indicative of the rest of their stuff I can totally vouch for the quality.

They might as well not care when their viewers don't.

The problem is they don't seem to think their viewers should care about recognizing the difference between a tool assisted playthrough, and one that's not, and therefore their average viewers never care not necessarily out of apathy but out of a lack of awareness.

Like kitten said, it's very frustrating to see videos where the person is clearly playing in a way that looks incredibly unnatural and shows extreme unfamiliarity with the game, only to see commentators saying how great the player is at dodging stuff due to the tool-assisted run never taking a hit. There's a Progear Longplay where the use of the gem system to cancel bullets and score is absolute garbage for instance, that gets a ridiculously high score simply due to the nature of the score you'll get later on due to no-miss no-bombing your way through it. Does this really show the game being played at a level worthy of a showcase simply because it shows off a tool-assisted 2-ALL clear?

I understand that there's some games where there isn't much knowledge or exposure on the game where the Longplay is just to show it off and isn't representative of skill. And that's OK! Just put a disclaimer on the video or a note in the description that it's a tool-assisted playthrough for the purposes of showing a complete run through the game, and isn't necessarily representative of how a skilled player would run through the game.

There's enough good footage out there that World of Longplays could even petition people to submit their videos of games, and then differentiate between real playthroughs and tool-assisted playthroughs so that they could eventually build up a library of videos showing the games being played in a way that's more authentic and representative of what you'd expect to see.

It wouldn't necessarily fix all the cases where people falsely ID tool assisted runs as skillful, or where skillful runs are falsely ID'd as tool-assisted, but it would help. It's just that the people running World of Longplays do not seem to understand or care about educating their viewing audience on the difference, and how two different playthroughs that both technically clear the game can look wildly different from one another in terms of authenticity.

[mamboFoxtrot]

tbh what's more annoying to me than the "nobody could possibly make it past stage 4 of Ninja Spirit, video is clearly fake" posts is when people downplay the difficulty of certain infamously difficult or fuck-random things because I guess they saw a video or two of the rare cases of people successfully beating it. The former at least has its comedy value.

[orange808]

Not necessarily annoying, but the ignorance of the reseller grifters running "eBay gaming businesses" out of bedrooms cracks me up.

A bunch of PVMs sold at auction last week for eBay prices. Now, the dumb asses that already paid full price are expecting to reset the entire market to turn a profit. Can't fetch a premium "low hour" price for a display with normal use. They'll be lucky to break even--and that doesn't count all the time and effort.

Amateurs.

You don't pay eBay prices in a private auction unless you're shopping for yourself.

Absolute amateurs. Probably watched Storage Wars one too many times.