Dear hardcore gamer, how about shutting the (beep!) up?

A place where you can chat about anything that isn't to do with games!
Randorama
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Dear hardcore gamer, how about shutting the (beep!) up?

Post by Randorama »

Dear hardcore gamer,

i, the mainstream gamer, have shown enough patience with you, so far. All you've done, until now, is just writing nonsensical claimings about me, the mainstreamer, ruining your childhood memories of fond afternoons moving a ship around a screen.
However, and this is a big however, time passes and things change: and, once in a while, they change for the better.
Now, in the glorious days of the ps3, we have one gazillion polygons on screen, while you keep buying parallax-challenged games just because they're 2D.
Your elitism is completely insane, as it can be easily deduced by one simple consideration: 3D has three dimensions, 2D just two.More is better, obviously! Should i continue...?
Seriously, most of your arrogant attitude deals in nostalgia, and surely not in gaming: you brag about how cool you are when you can do a 30 hits chain on DDP, while i spend entire weeks without sleeping, trying to collect all items in GTA!Do you honestly think that you can even remotely compete with me, in terms of pure and untamed gaming skill?

Even my sis, 5 years old, can do 800M in Ikaruga, so it's better if you put your pride aside, accept that our Britney Spears games are *flawless* (because, well, with all the marketing behind it, they better be), and accept that we're the brave new world of gaming.

Ah, and all of my orgasms were fake.

cordially yours,

the mainstream gamer

P.S.

And beside that, my collection is bigger than yours...we all know what you really care about, you wannabe alternative underground sciovinist! :?
"The only desire the Culture could not satisfy from within itself was one common to both the descendants of its original human stock and the machines [...]: the urge not to feel useless."

I.M. Banks, "Consider Phlebas" (1988: 43).
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landshark
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Post by landshark »

i've reread that a few times and am not sure if this is satirical or not.

Edit: nevermind ... just read the other "dear" thread.
Last edited by landshark on Tue Jun 07, 2005 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tar-Palantir
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Post by Tar-Palantir »

I am a Randorama fan :D . It's official.
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sethsez
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Post by sethsez »

Dear Randorama,

There's just as much skill in beating Halo on Legendary or Ninja Gaiden on Hard as there is in 1CCing DoDonPachi with a good score.

Sincerely,
Someone who's sick of seeing GTA used as the one and only example of modern gaming

(I can't tell who he's mocking, but I felt like saying this anyway whether he's serious about it or not :))
Randorama
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Post by Randorama »

Dear sethsez,

i'm sorry but i basically play shmups and a few other parallax-challenged games, so the comparison has been invented on the spot :?

Cordially yours,

R

P.S.

Ah, by the way, can you get on X-box live on time? Yo're always late for co-op Halo 2 :x

Edited for clarity
"The only desire the Culture could not satisfy from within itself was one common to both the descendants of its original human stock and the machines [...]: the urge not to feel useless."

I.M. Banks, "Consider Phlebas" (1988: 43).
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FatCobra
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Post by FatCobra »

Dear shmups.com forumites,

Please cut it out. I know I bitch and moan about how I think gaming is not as good as it used to be, and it's ok to make fun of my rants. But now you guys are pushing it.

I guess you guys love beating a dead horse, pumping a dry well, and trying to squeeze blood out of a stone.

Your fellow forumite,

Christopher R. Tichanuk aka "Fatcobra"

P.S. Seriously, cut it out. I've gotten over my mainstream hate.
Shmups: It's all about blowing stuff up!
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Sly Cherry Chunks
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Post by Sly Cherry Chunks »

Dear Sly Cherry Chunks,

Why do you reply to these threads?
The biggest unanswered question is where is the money? [1CCS]
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jp
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Post by jp »

*beat Halo in Legendary*

*wasn't as impressed as I was the time I beat Ground of the Galaxy with 1 life without bombing in Batsugun Special*

*nor the time I 1CC'd Radiant Silvergun, Soukyugurentai, or Metal Black*
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!!!
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mannerbot
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Post by mannerbot »

Dear Randorama,

You should post more.

XOXO,
mannerbot
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sethsez
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Post by sethsez »

FatCobra wrote:Dear shmups.com forumites,

Please cut it out. I know I bitch and moan about how I think gaming is not as good as it used to be, and it's ok to make fun of my rants. But now you guys are pushing it.

I guess you guys love beating a dead horse, pumping a dry well, and trying to squeeze blood out of a stone.

Your fellow forumite,

Christopher R. Tichanuk aka "Fatcobra"

P.S. Seriously, cut it out. I've gotten over my mainstream hate.
Dear FatCobra

I like irony.

Sincerely,
Seth

(this is said in good humor, not as a serious insult :))
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jp
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Post by jp »

PS -


Dear Randorama,

Thanks for updating the Batsugun HS thread. Though I hate to say it, but I've already taken 4th place as well. I've just been too lazy to write my score down and bring it to the PC labs. :lol:
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!!!
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FatCobra
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Post by FatCobra »

Dear sethsez,

I know. :wink:

Yours truely,
Fatcobra

Dear mods, please lock this pointless topic.

Sincerly,
Fatcobra.
Shmups: It's all about blowing stuff up!
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Nemo
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Post by Nemo »

Dear Rando,

Anyone who despises hardcore gaming is not HUMAN, you're a bloody FRICKIN' ANIMAL. YOU make chimpanzee noises like OOH OOH AHH AHH! Stop acting like a VICTIM you SCUM of the sewage POO.

Hugs and Kisses,

Hardcore Gamers
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mannerbot
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Post by mannerbot »

Dear Nemo,

You should post more too.

XOXO,
mannerbot

P.S. wHeN iZ BoRDeR DawN GunnA bE eMulAteD?? lolLErskates!!
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Specineff
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Post by Specineff »

Dear Sirs and Madams.

This is to inform you of the Passing away of forum Member Specineff Vorhelgelm today. He died of a heart attack after complaining of chest pains after seeing all the crud going on in the forum lately. His last words were "Love you all, you motherfunkers." and "Long live shmups. No regret><0rz".

Please contact his family in case he named some of you about his shmup estate.

-Mr. Vorhelgelm's Attorney.
Don't hold grudges. GET EVEN.
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landshark
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Post by landshark »

Dear Taco Bell,

Why did you pull the bacon soft taco from your menu? Do you not know that bacon makes everything better?

Sincerely,
Land T. Shark

P.S. - I've heard rumors that some of your fine eating establishments serve french fries. If this is true, I would be much obliged if you would bring said fries to the menus of your Chicagoland establishments.
BUHA
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Post by BUHA »

U R DUM



this is seriously the dumbest post I've seen in awhile
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TWITCHDOCTOR
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Post by TWITCHDOCTOR »

FatCobra wrote: "I guess you guys love beating a dead horse, pumping a dry well, and trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. "

Dear FatCobra:
This is exacly how games of old must be played...with that mentality. Which is exactly why your "mainstreamers" hate the classic genre. Anything in 2D is like Beating a Dead Horse in their minds.

Don't blame the Shmup-o's for acting this way, as they cannot help themselves with their persistance.

Sincerely your Doctor
-Twitch
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jp
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Post by jp »

Specineff wrote:Dear Sirs and Madams.

This is to inform you of the Passing away of forum Member Specineff Vorhelgelm today. He died of a heart attack after complaining of chest pains after seeing all the crud going on in the forum lately. His last words were "Love you all, you motherfunkers." and "Long live shmups. No regret><0rz".

Please contact his family in case he named some of you about his shmup estate.

-Mr. Vorhelgelm's Attorney.

Poor Speci.
*goes and lights a candle* :cry:
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!!!!
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TWITCHDOCTOR
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Post by TWITCHDOCTOR »

Dear Shmup-o's:

Lets address all our posts like this...that way we can annoy the hell out of one another on a regular everyday basis!

Sincerely your Doctor...
-Twitch


Shmups.com...the most polite webforum on the internet. Yes sir ee.
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freddiebamboo
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Post by freddiebamboo »

I can't wait till this goes two pages :lol:
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incognoscente
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Post by incognoscente »

BUHA wrote:U R DUM
no u
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CMoon
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Post by CMoon »

TWITCHDOCTOR wrote:
Sincerely your Doctor...
-Twitch
Dear Doctor,
it hurts when I do this...


Ouch!
Randorama wrote:ban CMoon for being a closet Jerry Falwell cockmonster/Ann Coulter fan, Nijska a bronie (ack! The horror!), and Ed Oscuro being unable to post 100-word arguments without writing 3-pages posts.
Eugenics: you know it's right!
SHMUP sale page.
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russ
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Post by russ »

Dear forum people:

Frankly, I enjoy beating deceased horses equally as much as I enjoy my 2D games. Did that make sense? Not really. Time for my medication, I'll be back in a few days when I regain consciousness, kthx.

Your dearest lover,
russ
"No beer until you've finished your tequila!"
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PepsimanVsJoe
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I can do that too!

Post by PepsimanVsJoe »

Dear Pepsiman,

Let's never fight again.

Love,
Joe
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landshark
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Post by landshark »

Ok, what is the purpose of the original message? I took it as satire. But from all the other posts, I gather it is not ... or is it?
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Zweihander
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sage

Post by Zweihander »

Dear Livejournal...
Image
Schrodinger's cat wrote:Yeah, "shmup" really sounds like a term a Jewish grandmother would insult you with.
Dynamite Force
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Post by Dynamite Force »

Dear hardcore and mainstream gamer,

How about both of you shut up? This is rather pointless. A one dimension difference does not a good game make. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. I thought both of you would know this by now.

To the mainstream gamer, how about being more open-minded towards 2D gaming? 3D may be the craze now a days, but there are some things it can't do as well as 2D, no matter how many polygons you can cram.

To the hardcore gamer, living in the past is fine, but there comes a time where one must accept the changes around them, regardless of how one may feel toward it.

In short, how about we all just get along and acknowledge each other and if you can't, then at least do each other no harm.

Best regards,

Dynamite
I have always wanted a thing called tuna sashimi.
neorichieb1971
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Post by neorichieb1971 »

Dear Devcos,

Its all your fault that 2D games are not popular anymore.

When you run out of money and cannot make a Halo 3 beater, remember that I amongst others would really like a Bubble bobble beater.. Surely it cannot be that hard with the technology you have today?


Best regards,

Old school gamer.
This industry has become 2 dimensional as it transcended into a 3D world.
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D
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Post by D »

It's just all about gameplay and challenge.
and personally I find 3D ugly. Only 3D racegames and 3D flightsims I like.

And mainstream gamers do like 'hardcore' games. It's just that they buy what is most advertised because they do whatever the tv tells them to do.

Same with music
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