Fucking Christ lads!
By God and Harry and Saint George! (◎w◎;) As a leal beastman of the former colonies, I always held a feral MILFy reverence for
auld news slapper Kay Burley.

But tonight, hearing her
shouts and moans of anguished primal release, I could practically feel her nude body undulating feverishly against mine! Clinging desperately to me, her face buried in my neck as my Beast Hand
liberated her auld pussy like a vintage Famicom cart from its
mint CIB prison! Cue
THE THEME OF PROFESSOR DR. BIRUFORD, as your humble thrall proceeds to dutifully slake his
WHITE QUEEN's ancestral desire for the
BEAST ROD AND SCEPTRE OF WEST INDIA that is
HERS BY DIVINE RIGHT 
Wretched beasts, the lot of us. 
Do you know how many mongled Famicom boxes I've seen, in my time? There's no need to v-crease the lid with your ham thumb, you godless lesser animals. Do better than yourselves! This loyal servant will teach you a Beast Technique! First, the setup, assuming dextral; invert as needed, per sinistral.
Extend your right middle and index fingers in parallel, sliding them under the box, which is
cradled in your left palm. Now, for the real technique: use your thumb to delicately clamp the box, before
gently teasing its edge into the gap between front cover and top flap. Mildly flex the cover upward with your thumb, alternating by pulling down/back on the flap with equal care, gradually widening the gap. Do
not force either! The box has a natural give, responsive to the mild pressures exerted by your hand. Soon, as the gap admits more of your thumb, you will feel the flap giving way, before it pops free, and the riches of compassionate handling avail themselves to you! Altogether, it is not unlike the patiently coaxing pressures one employs as a gentleman pleasing his ladyfrie-
...
Chaps, I just realised why there are so many mongled Famicom boxes.
And sexually frustrated women.
EDIT: AH FUCK LADS! I WAS THINKING OF HER FROM FIFTEEN YEARS AGO (◎w◎;)
NAWWW (`w´メ)
It's too late lads. Ben Franklin a great white man, but I respectfully differ on some things, and GILFs be one. (˘w˘) Anyway, it kinda sucks for those having any illusions of British media impartiality! My once-MILFy lady was in flushed ecstatic delight at her team's success!
But a rod is a rod, you know? (■`w´■)
EDIT2: Waaait a minute.
What is going on with your news MILFs, lads? 