Squire Grooktook wrote:**This is also why stage 1 is so much better than every other Contra stage 1. Making it through on hard requires a different reactive motion each time.
This is plainly false. You can clear it entirely without reacting to anything, provided you turn around to shoot left at pre-determined moments (and have the peashooter equipped because the spread gun actually makes this section harder LOL). You don't even have to look at the screen. Just turn left-right-left-right constantly whenever there's no sniper around and you are untouchable.
If I actually cared enough to memorize the dog locations I could do this blindfolded.
I particularly liked that part where a running guy did anything at all that had any chance whatsoever of killing me, because that part was a dream and Scarlett Johannson was watching and she was extremely impressed, and not like where you pretend to be impressed to make the other person feel good, she was honestly impressed.
Homing is actually the best weapon for the first half of stage 1 because it's the only way to safely remove the snipers without knowing beforehand their locations, at the cost of possibly needing to jump if a random zako gets off a shot, but with no snipers that shot won't matter. Homing is awful for everything else forever always though, so the peashooter is your next best bet. Spread gun provides no advantage against the snipers (the spread isn't wide enough to fire in the wrong direction and still hit them unless you do even more complicated shenanigans based on precognition and jumping), and thanks to CIII's idiotic "autofire" mechanic, picking up any weapon upgrade makes turning around more difficult, so that Spread makes this section more difficult than using the peashooter.
I don't know how you can possibly think this stage is better than Hard Stage 1 in Rebirth. Or even Normal Stage 1 in Rebirth.
When is that all important zako bullet that forces you to perilously jump or duck admist snipers and dogs gonna come?
NEVER. You turn left a moment before reaching the sniper to ensure a clear screen until you are past the sniper and free to turn left again,
thus entirely eliminating the effect of the randomness. You are able to do this because you've memorized the locations of the snipers, the only enemies in the level that matter. Refer to the above video if you doubt me.
Since the snipers aren't much of a problem in isolation
They are. The screen is totally empty when you encounter the lone snipers in stage 3, and even so fighting them without either inching forward pathetically or using a memorization-based speedkill is still highly dangerous.
Losing momentum is what turns the snipers into a serious hazard,
No, not instantaneously killing them is what makes them a serious hazard, momentum has nothing to do with it, and if you don't kill them instantaneously, momentum is nothing but a liability.
At first I was stumped that you'd even bother braking for them
If, for example, you aim diagonally to take out the grenade-thrower, you get clusterfucked by the sniper. If you try to run under or jump over the sniper without killing it, you get clusterfucked by the sniper. If at any point while a sniper is on-screen you are firing in any direction other than directly toward the sniper (or god forbid, not firing at all), you get clusterfucked by the sniper. If you inch forward and fight everything from full-screen distance, you are almost completely safe. Inching forward pathetically is objectively the correct tactic here barring memorization of the sniper positions. Your choices to survive the snipers are A)cowardice, B)being lucky and firing in the correct direction by chance, or C)memorization.
I don't even mind, I just think it's outrageous to claim that this encourages aggression when it so obviously encourages cowardice.
chaotic
If you somehow managed to convince me that CIII actually
was chaotic, that would be enough. But outside of the phenomenal stage 4 boss, the entire game is played mechanically.
III/Hard is more in line with relentless killers like Ninja Spirit and Daimakaimura.
No, because those two games are chaotic, dangerous thrillrides that require reactive improvisation and are optimally played aggressively.

My entire argument here could be summed up as "Contra III is absolutely nothing like those two games."
"Don't worry about quality. I've got quantity!"