Stupid things you did as a kid

[Lord Satori]

Something that brings me deep shame (and probably won't surprise any of you):

I was one of the beta testers of Jets 'n Guns Gold, but you won't find my actual name on the list at all. I'm listed as "Grim 'Death' Reaper".

You see, I was roughly 12 when the game was being tested, and I was going through this "I want people to actually think I'm Death" phase. (I wasn't serious about it, but it's still the kind of thing you'd expect from a kid)

I guess I thought they'd go "ha ha that's funny, but seriously, what's your name?" or something, but they never did. And then the game came out.

To this day I look at that one idiotic name among the others and know that I could've had my name immortalized in the credits of a game.

The worst part is that I can't use it as a neat little thing to add to my portfolio as I have no way to prove that it's me.


Anyone else have some things like this you wanna kick your past self for?

(also feel free to merge this with the "things that annoy the hell out of you" topic, I just thought this would be neat as it's own thread)

[atheistgod1999]

Making my PSN ID "bostongamr", not realizing how much I'd hate that city later on. Plus, I'm not even really Bostonian (don't have the accent, don't care about the Red Sox).

Also, nearly everything I do (not did) on the internet >.>

[GaijinPunch]

I am supposedly in the English credits of one of the version of Death Smiles on the Xbox. Regret not doing a name like that... and I guess never actually looking for it. Also wasn't a kid.

[Skykid]

I am supposedly in the English credits of one of the version of Death Smiles on the Xbox. Regret not doing a name like that... and I guess never actually looking for it. Also wasn't a kid.

I'm in the credits for Akai Katana along with several legendary human beings. I'm totally happy I used my actual name for it.

[Squire Grooktook]

"Trolling" message board forums at the age of 14 or so, before realizing that it's not actually funny and is in fact a complete waste of time (for myself, more than anyone).

[atheistgod1999]

"Trolling" message board forums at the age of 14 or so, before realizing that it's not actually funny and is in fact a complete waste of time (for myself, more than anyone).

I got IP-permabanned from XKCD forums at that age for doing that. My parents switched providers, though, so I can access it again. Don't really feel like going on there again, anyway.

Also trolled on Yahoo Answers a lot when I was 13. Here's a surviving troll question I wrote at that age, if anyone's interested.

[broken harbour]

In 2007 I couldn't think of a name for the then-new PSN.

I was recently watching Invader Zim episode where Gaz is playing the game "Vampire Piggy Hunter" and I thought it was funny, but that full name wouldn't fit, so I just wrote "Vampire-Piggy" in there thinking I could change it a few days later when I think of something better.

Needless to say it's Vampire-Piggy to this day, goddamn Sony.....

Also I was 25 in 2007, not a kid...

[cave hermit]

Once when I was a little kid I visited the Kentucky horse derby with my parents.

After the race I got to see the winning horse up close.

For some reason the first thought that popped into my head when I saw the horse was, "its nose looks drippy, somebody needs to give it a good picking!"

So I did. I jammed my tiny little fist up the horse's nostril and pulled out a massive sphere of mucus.

I was a slow child.

[Durandal]

"Trolling" message board forums at the age of 14 or so, before realizing that it's not actually funny and is in fact a complete waste of time (for myself, more than anyone).

I once stumbled upon a fanforum of some cartoon I liked when I was about 12 or 13 yo, though it was way older than me and so were all the members, who were rather talking about their personal lives instead of the cartoon itself. At that time, I was incredibly unfunny, loved memes, and just stuck out like a sore thumb for being such a disruptive prick until I got banned. But even at such a young age I knew how to ban evade through HTTP proxies, and I kept coming back to that site for some reason even though I kept getting banned and everyone there was completely sick of my shit. I didn't want to troll everyone, but I tried to fit in real hard.

This kept happening for about 2 years, and slowly I learned to not be a disruptive jackass. Eventually I learned how to fit in (by not running my mouth on subjects I do not fully understand), and the people there would acknowledge how I had improved from being an insufferable cunt. When I look back at that time, I initially cringe, but in hindsight I'm thankful as I believe that the repeated metaphorical beatings by everyone there has helped me set straight my course in life from being a casual immature jackass to a cynical bastard. The site in question went down some long time ago after one of the admins couldn't afford to pay the server bills anymore, so all records of my past exploits are gone, as only the surviving members remain to tell the tale.

In 2007 I couldn't think of a name for the then-new PSN.

I was recently watching Invader Zim episode where Gaz is playing the game "Vampire Piggy Hunter" and I thought it was funny, but that full name wouldn't fit, so I just wrote "Vampire-Piggy" in there thinking I could change it a few days later when I think of something better.

Needless to say it's Vampire-Piggy to this day, goddamn Sony.....

Also I was 25 in 2007, not a kid...

You gotta be kidding me, my original handle I used everywhere on the internet was also inspired by a minor detail in Invader Zim. Though I do not regret using that name (when I played NeoTokyo, one of the regulars commented how it was one of the most original nicknames they had seen in a long time), I eventually switched from that one to my current one because I decided I had to move on and didn't want to leave any digital footprints to any possible embarrassing past mistakes I haven't scrubbed out yet since I used that handle EVERYWHERE.

[broken harbour]

Now I really want to know what your old handle was.

[Squire Grooktook]

I didn't want to troll everyone, but I tried to fit in real hard.

For me it was kind of the opposite.

When I was "myself", I was generally fine and well liked. But I liked to come in under alt account and such and start trouble.



Just got bored of it eventually.

[Xyga]

I regret nothing, even the worst shit, and believe it I was no angel (no I won't tell, not even on the internets)

Also the internet wasn't a thing when I was a kid then a teenager, not even mobile phones.
I was playing music, doing drugs and chasing skirts.
Kids who owned a computer got bullied btw.

[soprano1]

I live in a rural area, so lot's of snails around. I used to caught the biggest one i could find, and put one of these on their eyes to see what would happen: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... hespin.JPG
I was 7 or 8. Didn't knew about the salt thing.

[atheistgod1999]

I was playing music, doing drugs

Dude, you know you're legally responsible for what you post here, right?

[Xyga]

Also I used to rob the eldery and torture little animals.

[trap15]

Dude, you know you're legally responsible for what you post here, right?

Maybe you should've thought of that before you posted that you illegally smoked a cigarette (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

[cave hermit]

Also I used to rob the eldery and torture little animals.

See atheist god? This is why you should stay away from drugs.

Why, Little Xyga "Joe Spaghetti-o" Johnson used to be a good little American patriot like you and I, captain of the glee club, little league pitcher, the list of merits goes on and on.

But then one day some hooligans outside of the local hamburger shop offered Xyga, The Pot.

Yes, they offered him a pot needle, filled with an entire Marijuana, and told him he wouldn't be cool unless he injected it directly into his eyeballs.

Poor little innocent Xyga Johnson fell to peer pressure, and injected one whole Marijuana, only to soon succumb to, The Pot.

In the weeks to follow, the hooligan once known as Xyga Johnson went on a rampage of debauchery, consuming chocolate pastry squares tainted with, The Pot, protesting against our brave American soldiers fighting overseas, handing in homework assignments for only partial credit a few days after the deadline, and even BECOMING A EUROPEAN.

So remember athiest God, Just Say No! Or you could be the next victim of, The Pot.

[atheistgod1999]

Dude, you know you're legally responsible for what you post here, right?

Maybe you should've thought of that before you posted that you illegally smoked a cigarette (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

Except for the fact that there's no minimum smoking age where I live (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

[soprano1]

Dude, you know you're legally responsible for what you post here, right?

Maybe you should've thought of that before you posted that you illegally smoked a cigarette (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

Except for the fact that there's no minimum smoking age in where I live (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

So, does that mean a 9 year old can buy cigarettes, or they still need an adult homeless person to buy them for them?
You know, like alcohol?

[Xyga]

But then one day some crusties outside of the local educational meat shredder offered Xyga, The Pot.

had to fix that part, but I confess; everything else is true.

[Shepardus]

Except for the fact that there's no minimum smoking age in where I live (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun)

So, does that mean a 9 year old can buy cigarettes, or they still need an adult homeless person to buy them for them?
You know, like alcohol?

In Massachusetts, among a number of other states, there's no minimum age for smoking, though there is a minimum age at which you can buy cigarettes and tobacco.

[atheistgod1999]

So, does that mean a 9 year old can buy cigarettes, or they still need an adult homeless person to buy them for them?
You know, like alcohol?

Well, the person who gave me the cig would get in trouble, but I wouldn't. Also, I actually looked up the drug laws in France before responding to Xyga, but trap15 clearly didn't look up the smoking laws where I live despite me giving my real location, which should be visible under my username.

P.S.: I didn't mean it like weed is bad; I just know that drugs were illegal where Xyga lived when he grew up (unless he grew up prior to the 1950s).

EDIT: Woah, this is my 420th post. What a perfect subject to be talking about at the time.

[trap15]

HINT: BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT

[emphatic]

Things I regret doing when I was young:

* Mouthing off to the wrong people like a little bitch - today they are successful music producers/DJs yet still hold a grudge according to mutual friends

* Stealing money from my parents so I could spend as much time as possible playing arcade games in the 80's and 90's - but hey, I was young, and arcade games where disappearing way too fast

[Lord Satori]

In 2007 I couldn't think of a name for the then-new PSN.

I was recently watching Invader Zim episode where Gaz is playing the game "Vampire Piggy Hunter" and I thought it was funny, but that full name wouldn't fit, so I just wrote "Vampire-Piggy" in there thinking I could change it a few days later when I think of something better.

Needless to say it's Vampire-Piggy to this day, goddamn Sony.....

Also I was 25 in 2007, not a kid...

I can relate to this. Except it's my dad's fault and not mine. My ID is stuck as "kinggrub". I suppose it doesn't matter, since my online interactions in console games are minimal.

[Pixel_Outlaw]

Ninja Mode:
I was not allowed to watch Ninja Turtles as a kid because it was one of those "violent hitting and kicking shows".
I did watch it once without my parents knowing and "hitted and kicked" several people going down the hallway at church because it put me in "ninja mode" for a good day or two.
I think I was around 4 years old.

Dinosaur Fossils:
I wanted to be a palaeontologist when I was a kid. I often dug for "dinosaur bones" in the dirt area below our raised porch. I saw a guy on TV use a brush to sweep the dirt off. One day my mom found one of her makup brushes covered in dirt and had later put 2+2 together. I informed her that I had found treasured fossils and they would probably cover the cost of her makup brushes.
Maybe around 6 or 7 years old.

Ninja Pepper Bombs:
Told a friend that we needed to defend ourselves and make some weapons. Gave him instructions to get coffee filters from his grandma (my parents didn't drink coffee) and we filled them with ground pepper and twisted the top to make a throwing annoyance. Got hit in the face to test em. They worked well. He somehow got his mom to mail me a shoebox of them a few weeks later. Oh you can also lash two tongue depressors together and cut the ends at an angle for throwing stars that fly really crazy. Friend got his chin kind of cut by a rogue one. You've gotta cut them at an angle so the wood cracks away from the part you want to keep. (Protip)

Probably around 10

Fire on the Playground:
We had cement blocks on the playground with a hole in each side. Probably big enough for about 2 kids to sit inside. I was really obsessed with fire at the time (often lighting hairspray on fire on the concrete floor downstairs). Anyway we got the wise idea to build a fire out of leaves inside the blocks just like camping. Unfortunatly a tongue of flame peeped outside one of the side openings and caught the attention of some snitching kid. We stomped everything out and covered it with gravel before the playground aid found us. Since there was no evidence, I told her I had matches because I was asked to hold them on a boyscout trip I had returned from that weekend. She bought it and confiscated my matches. I was never in boysprouts though .
2nd grade maybe so...7?

I was a pretty normal kid I guess a few moments here and there.

[atheistgod1999]

When I was 6 years old, I got Sonic Riders (Yeah, I used to be a Sonic fan. So was BIL, though.) around the time it came out and I kept getting the "an error has occured" screen on my GameCube whenever I tried starting the game (must've been a used copy or something). I cleaned the disc and still got the error message, so I thought that the console itself was dirty. I proceeded to pour several cups of water and dump them into the system through the disc tray until water was leaking through the vents. Needless to say, I ruined my GameCube. My grandpa bought me a new one 3 days later because I'm a spoiled only-child >.>. At least I destroyed one that didn't have component video support because I got it brand-new in summer 2005.

[antron]

It's really unusual to catch an outside cat taking a dump. I grew up with cats and only ever saw this once. I happened to have a firecracker in my hand at that very moment. The cat didn't run when I managed to stick it the poop, but it ran when I lit the fuse. It was a short fuse, and after that I needed a long shower.

[jasoncslaughter]

After watching the X Games as a kid, a friend and I decided to build our own street luge board. We then proceeded to take it to a road in the neighborhood with a ridiculously steep incline (so steep that the school buses couldn't take kids home who lived there) and test it out without any helmets or padding, and with no look outs to watch for cars. I wiped out on the way down, and as a result one of my pinkies is crooked and scarred.

The pot may have been involved.

Spoiler

It wasn't. We were just morons.

[MOSQUITO FIGHTER]

When I was a kid I would dig up earthworms in the back yard and throw them into a bucket of water just so I could see them turn that cool looking purple color. Had no idea they were suffocating.