[CUE HEAVY INDUSTRIAL NOISE REMIX OF "AT DOOM'S GATE"]
Do you love walking up to moving things and killing them with one button press while an animation plays which leaves you vulnerable to enemy attacks? Do you hate all those dazzling colors on a screen and being able to tell one enemy apart from the other at a quick glance, and would rather just that everything has the same color palette like a bad Build engine game? Do you love heavy metal mixed with grating industrial noise? Do you love Brutal Doom? Do you love oversized weapon viewmodels? Do you have trouble forming your own opinions and would rather follow the herd or what the journalists say? Do you want to be as pro and feel awesome as those Quake elitists, even though you are not nearly as skilled? Are those old games just too fast and unplayable with a controller? Did you like Wolfenstein: The New Order? Do you have sixty bucks to spare, and are too lazy to figure out how to load a WAD? Do you love shiny graphics and BRUTAL animations? Do you have trouble handling more than a dozen enemies in an area larger than a hallway? Do you want to know what it felt like to play an old-school FPS? Do you like taking a shit in the faces of those damn nerds with nostalgia?
Then you should get DOOM!
The singleplayer includes exciting new features to the DOOM formula such as double-jumping, (disclaimer: you cannot change direction mid-air with the second jump) piñata enemies which drop health/ammo because item placement is for schmucks, Glory Kills (press a button near an enemy and watch Doomguy tear him apart! So cool!) and...... uh.....
The multiplayer was outsourced to Certain Affinity, a respected developer who has worked on many FPS multiplayer modes such as Call of Duty: Ghosts and Halo 4, in order to make the multiplayer really feel like an old-school shooter such as Quake and Unreal Tournament! We haven't played those games aside from maybe an hour or two on Quake Live, but then who did?
It includes old-school elements such as RPG progression, loadouts, challenges, and health packs and armor, so old-school!
Also new are Hack Modules! Normally, a Quake pro needs to have absolute awareness of the map, item spawns and his enemy's whereabouts, sort of like a 'court vision'. But since you probably might've never played Quake, we have added these as a third wheel because we respect your intelligence. Hack Modules include such abilities like seeing the spawn timers on items, seeing the position of your killer when you die, and spawning with +8 armor. Just like the Quake pros! Normally, one should eventually stop using a third wheel, but we have decided to treat these Hack Modules as upgrades anyways.
Because moving around the map to find a better weapon when you spawn with just a measly machinegun is just too damn inconvenient, each player can now spawn with two weapons! You cannot change those weapons until you die, and you cannot pick up weapons from fallen players either. Who cares about predicting your enemy's routes in a 1v1 match? Now you can just spawn with a rocket launcher, camp around any spot which spawns rocket launcher ammo, and kill people! Or you can just walk into a choke point, kill as many as you can until you die, and try again! With loadouts, we are discouraging people from moving around the map, just like any good old-school arena shooter, because spawning with a machinegun is just too inconvenient anyways.
Despite running on the idTech engine, advanced techniques such as rocketjumping and strafejumping aren't available, instead everyone moves at the same speed. We thought having a skill ceiling which is too high would discourage newer players. Just focus on shooting instead of movement! Again, for the TF2 Scout mains, you can't change direction mid-air with the double-jump.
We are trying our ABSOLUTE BEST to appeal to both the veteran audiences and newer, more lucrative console gamer audiences despite Doom having an incredibly active modding community we have in no way tried cooperating with.
Are there people still complaining about how not good DOOM is on your forum? Don't worry, we here at Bethesda have an expert team of shills who have years of experience creating a division in communities, like we did with Star Trek, Fallout, Arkane, and Wolfenstein. After a month or two, all of you will believe that the only people who could hate a great game such as DOOM are just nasty Quake fanboys.
/passiveaggressiveness
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