Like Sonic....

[Strider77]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQhjJ0BLxT0

Enjoy....

[Ruldra]

Awful.

[Strider77]

It's amazing... in all known ways.

[BryanM]

Listened to the entire thing to fully assess his opinions.

Seems like a typical gamer.

Sonic is pretty terrible tho. Not just because of the recent subpar designers on it, but on a fundamental level.

[Skykid]

I'm never playing video games again.

[Strider77]

I'm getting a few chuckles out of the responses.

[copy-paster]

Every time you masturbate, another dozens of Sonic OCs appear on DeviantArt.

[Satan]

Wonder Boy was better than Sonic. Fuck you Sega.

[BIL]

Sonic can choke to death on my fucking cock.

Having said that, the franchise's success undoubtedly helped fund dozens of my favourite games. So as long as it and its deranged fans keep that furry shit out of my face we're cool!

[Lord Satori]

How stretched out will Sonic be in his next game I wonder?

[Ruldra]

Sonic is pretty terrible tho. Not just because of the recent subpar designers on it, but on a fundamental level.

Wonder Boy was better than Sonic. Fuck you Sega.

Sonic can choke to death on my fucking cock.

Hey now, are you guys saying the entire franchise is crap?

There are a bunch of bad apples in there, but Sonic 1-3 & Knuckles are great games. I find it hard to believe you played them back in the day and thought "Man, these games are terrible".

Sometimes I think people here enjoy hating things a bit too much.

[Giest118]

Sometimes I think people here enjoy hating things a bit too much.

When they're not doing that, they're trying to attach social disabilities and life circumstances to the reasons anyone would dare to like a thing.

[BIL]

Hey now, are you guys saying the entire franchise is crap?

There are a bunch of bad apples in there, but Sonic 1-3 & Knuckles are great games. I find it hard to believe you played them back in the day and thought "Man, these games are terrible".

Please append "for all I care" to the end of my previous statement. ^__^ I really couldn't care less about Sonic anything. Its worst fans (see first post) do inspire mild contempt and make me generally avoid the franchise, but I don't want to bludgeon them to death in their beds like rapists and pedos or anything. My only acknowledgement is the profits it put towards the Sega material I do like.

And yep, like most little kids BITD I actually was cuckoo for Sonic 1-3+K. I was also crazy for NES Mega Mans. All of those games make my nerdboner soft and floppy like cheese now, though. Nothing but mild diversion quickly dissolved into numbing apathy.

(and believe me, I've confirmed this extensively. My infernal collector impulse doesn't need much prompting to start snaffling up iconic 8/16-bit stuff! My IDGAF is final. :/ )

[Squire Grooktook]

TBH I actually like the Adventure games better than the Genesis games in a lot of ways. I find the speed more interesting in 3d, even if the games have their flaws.

[BrianC]

As far as Sonic goes, I like the Genesis games, Sonic 3D Blast, the first Sonic for SMS/GG, Sonic CD, Sonic Adventure, the Sonic Rush games, and Sonic Colors Wii quite a bit.

[BryanM]

I find it hard to believe you played them back in the day and thought "Man, these games are terrible".

The very first one, yes. It is dreadful.

The second one, no, not so much. It's a vastly better game in every single measure. Even play it every few years.

The couple that came after that, can be called unnecessary but it's nice that hardcore fans have something to enjoy.

What allows amused me about the "Sonic Cycle", where early cautious optimism is shattered as soon as the "friends" are revealed... Is that in sane universe, the opposite sentiment should be felt. A sidekick mechanic like they have in Castlevania 3 could have been used. It would have injected more variety for little added complexity; Sonic's answer to Mario's cosplay outfits.

It's like they took a strength of the franchise and turned it into a weakness. It is a sweet madness.

[Pretas]

The second one, no, not so much. It's a vastly better game in every single measure. Even play it every few years.

Wrong, it's the worst 16-bit Sonic platformer by a large margin. Gimmicky and tiresome as shit. I'd rather play 3D Blast.

[Strider77]

Sonic 3 is the best, along with S&K attached. I had never played it actually till this past December. I have to say I was quite entertained and also baffled why folks seem to go with 2 the most.

[BrianC]

The second one, no, not so much. It's a vastly better game in every single measure. Even play it every few years.

Wrong, it's the worst 16-bit Sonic platformer by a large margin. Gimmicky and tiresome as shit. I'd rather play 3D Blast.

Please stop posting poorly written reviews!

[Pretas]

- I didn't quote the review, I linked to it. (you edited your post to fix this lol)

- It's a great example of the Old Man Murray style of comedic yet insightful games journalism.

[BrianC]

- It's a great example of the Old Man Murray style of comedic yet insightful game reviewing.

No, it's not. There's no bad guys in costume or meddling kids.

[Pretas]

http://www.oldmanmurray.com/

He was one of the writers on Valve's Portal, by the way.

Making random Scooby-Doo references unironically makes you sound like a doddering, overweight middle-aged single mother on disability.

[Ed Oscuro]

JoshF is a cool guy, eh doesn't Sonic (what's a Sonic?) and gets my vote.

I knew Chet F. was *a* writer on OMM, but I thought there were others...if there was just one, that makes the couch discussions "Hertz" even more. I like OMM overall, as humor and not always as game reviews - oftentimes its arguments have nothing to do with the games at all, like the SA JEFFK reviews from that time, whining about licenses (KISS Psycho Circus was the biggest offender here) instead of substance, just like JEFFK would. I do agree that there's still too many crates in games. Scooby Doo references weren't the craziest ones used at OMM, but that sort of stuff was a pretty obvious tactic to screw with readers' cultural knowledge - my favorite is the surreal opening to the crate piece, with a non-plug for the probably-already-extinct Ancient Grains brand.

Also, isn't BrianC right about the Scooby Doo thing? He's not saying it's unironic, but it's there. Throwing in those cultural references was a hallmark of the OMM style, not JoshF.

[BrianC]

doh. Didn't know it was Josh F. I thought the review was overly harsh and didn't mention enough about certain aspects of the Sonic 2 (it's not a hard game, but I found it to have good level design, especially with Mystic Caves, Hilltop, and Metropolis). Not a huge fan of "corrections" either. I did find Portal to be hilarious and haven't read enough OMM to give an opinion. I'm also not a fan of Insomnia AC.

I didn't mean anything offensive by the Scooby Doo joke, but I found your reply very insulting (and a bit creepy). It was a joke that started with Wayne's World with Old Man Withers, BTW.

[Bloodreign]

Dear lord, why did I open that link, and have my headphones on higher volume? My hearing will probably take a few hours to fully come back,

[mamboFoxtrot]

TBH I actually like the Adventure games better than the Genesis games in a lot of ways. I find the speed more interesting in 3d, even if the games have their flaws.

"Flaws" is putting it lightly for the travesty of programming that is Sonic Adventure, but yeah, I feel the same. Not just the speed, but the routing as well. There are some shortcuts you can take in the 2D game, but you have to pretty much find them by accident if you don't have an AMAZING memory. In 3D you can at least look around and such. I also think the 3D games' level design is generally a lot easier to remember and make sense of. Honestly, the stage design of the Genesis games feel too random to me, like a lot of it was the result of some kid spraying tiles all over creation in Game Maker or something. Some of 3&K's levels are way too damn long, on top of that.

[BryanM]

Old Man Murray

Their piece about how adventure games killed themselves was particularly insightful. There's pretty good reason the entire genre morphed into interactive novels and moved to Japan.

Wrong, it's the worst 16-bit Sonic platformer by a large margin.

"This game sucks because it's a Sonic game."

Great insight worthy of Insomnia's top notch content. I shall now top this off by farting into a wine glass and inhaling deeply.

[Ruldra]

Wrong, it's the worst 16-bit Sonic platformer by a large margin. Gimmicky and tiresome as shit. I'd rather play 3D Blast.

2 stars? Really?

My only problem with Sonic 2 is that it's a bit too long, maybe it could use a couple less zones (not really a fan of Hill Top zone). Other than that, especially coming out of Sonic 1, Sonic 2 was amazing in every regard. The last 2 zones totally blew my mind back then.

Now, 3D Blast...that one sucked hard.

[Obiwanshinobi]

Glad to see Colo(u)rs Wii defended every now and then. One of games I haven't been able to justify purchasing for years, but the utter lack of any hype keeps me feeling optimistic towards it.

[null1024]

The Genesis Sonic games are okay.
well, 3&K is fantastic

-wall of text-
[*]Sonic 1: every other zone is slow -- deliberate decision, but boring. Instead of pacing the game well throughout, you pretty much end up only wanting to play GHZ, SYZ, or SLZ. LZ is an atrocity. Not even that hard, it's just not fun in the slightest. Same with SBZ3, why the fuck do I need more of Labyrinth? MZ is simply boring, not particularly bad. Lame final boss. Good first effort.
[*]Sonic 2: overall much better, but the entire second half of the game [Mystic Cave onward] is varying degrees of bad. Like, mildly bad to "god, why am I still playing this game" bad. Final boss is okay. Good improvement, needed work.
[*]Sonic 3: the barrel in CNZ is stupid [never had an issue, but the fact that so many people did is telling], Marble Garden is a poorly designed level. Otherwise, fan fucking tastic. The music. The graphics. The stage size and design. People say it's gimmicky, it's not particularly.
[*]Sonic and Knuckles: more of the same as the S3 half. Sandopolis 2 is mildly annoying to really annoying depending on how good you are at it, only real flaw. Generally great. Fantastic final boss. Oh, and the end of LRZ2 is stupid, why does falling at the lavafall right before the screen unlocks deadly when you have to go down a few seconds later? Minor nitpick, but it's always bugged me.

If we go to the Adventure games...
[*]SA1: piss poor coding job holy fuck, most Sonic levels are shit [Red Mountain is actually fantastic though], Tails is more of the same but slightly less annoying, Big is Sega's fishing games without any of the excitement because trying to catch Froggy is dull as fuck, Amy's levels are a slog, Knuckles' levels are pretty fun but his story is super short so that's over quickly, Gamma's levels should be so much better than they are. Great soundtrack though. Decent visuals. Hilariously bad cutscenes. Lame bosses. Decent final boss. Would not recommend.
Made me want to get a DC back in '99 though, but all I'd played of it was Emerald Coast on a demo unit at Toys 'R Us [great intro level].

[*]SA2: Sonic has good levels! I don't expect to fall through the floor at any second! Bosses are cool! Story still sucks. Cutscenes aren't terribly animated anymore. Control is improved. Shadow is Sonic but with worse [but still decent] levels. Eggman is better than Gamma by far, if not particularly amazing. Knuckles is a mild slog now. Tails gets Eggman stages but worse designed. Rouge is Knuckles but more annoying [Mad Space, Security Hall]. Finalhazard is almost a really neat fight. Almost. Soundtrack is slightly weaker than SA1's. Game looks great. Would actually recommend if I didn't have to play through Knuckles, Rouge, or Tails' levels.

play SA1 and 2 with a GC controller because you can actually move in a straight line with it, control is way too twitchy otherwise

and onward... Heroes was shit all around [not oppressively so, just a game which has fewer high points than SA1 does], Shadow is terribad [instead of having actual level design, they made you play the game 10 times over], 06 is unfinished and not deserving of mention, Unleashed is generally decent, Colors is okay but most of its acts are uninspired as fuck, Generations is mostly good and occasionally great [with some really lame bosses though].

tl;dr:
play either Sonic 3 and Knuckles or Generations, SA2 is almost a decent game but there's way too much bullshit in the way

Spoiler

ideally, go look into Sonic 3 Complete, a romhack that fixes several minor bugs in Sonic 3&K, adds more options, and makes the two games a more cohesive whole

Wonder Boy was better than Sonic. Fuck you Sega.

Sonic can choke to death on my fucking cock.
Having said that, the franchise's success undoubtedly helped fund dozens of my favourite games. So as long as it and its deranged fans keep that furry shit out of my face we're cool!

google your first names with The Hedgehog after it
laugh/cry like a lunatic