Movie remakes that shouldn't happen/of happened

[lilmanjs]

So after watching the trailer for the Oldboy remake, I've decided to start a thread for remakes that shouldn't be made and and remakes of movies that happened that really shouldn't of happened. Are there any?
Oldboy remake trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tFx_Iz_lUE

[rapoon]

lol, they actually did it....
I watched half the trailer and turned it off. Several of the comments are spot on; it's not a remake, it's a copy and paste job.

"The Vanishing" is the best example of how remaking and altering the ending destroys the film.

[trap15]

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Cat in the Hat, Grinch, etc. etc. etc.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

The latest Star Trek remakes/reboots. Especially the second one. Having the enterprise come up out of an ocean where it was supposedly 'hiding' from a primitive civilization instead of, oh I don't know, BEING UP IN FUCKING ORBIT. And dropping Spock INTO A FUCKING VOLCANO?! What, they can make super space suits that resist IMMA BURN THE SHIT OUTTA YOU heat but they can't make a simple fucking freeze bomb you drop out of the sky? Goddamn it.

That was the stupidest movie I have seen in ages. Ugh, so much stupid, predictable bullshit (oh look, Kirk lost his captainhood, he'll get it back I'm sure, oh look 5 minutes later the admiral gets boned and makes Kirk captain again, gee that was a surprise to no one). It qualified as a remake at least until they decided they needed to introduce time travel Spock as a plot point. It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted to seriously commit to a true 'clean slate' reboot of the series or not.

The only reason I didn't walk out of the theatre to play Time Crisis 3 was because it was supposed to be a romantic date night.

[BryanM]

The remakes of remakes of remakes of remakes of remakes of remakes has brought us to the deepest circle of hell. Remember the Spidey Man reboot? The remake cycle is now precisely 10 years.

Remember the execrable Van Helsing where noone feels like shortening the hero's trademark name for the sake of sanity/reality? Remake.

[brokenhalo]

I looked at the thread title and thought to myself, "this thread is going to be about oldboy."

[iconoclast]

I haven't seen it, but The Uninvited looks like a complete piece of trash in comparison to A Tale of Two Sisters, which is one of the best horror movies of all time imo.

[viniciusvbf]

Maybe the thread should be "Movie remakes that are actually good". I can't think of any.

[Skykid]

I haven't seen it, but The Uninvited looks like a complete piece of trash in comparison to A Tale of Two Sisters, which is one of the best horror movies of all time imo.

For the love of God...

[rancor]

Red Dawn never should have been remade.

Get ready for the upcoming remakes of: Robocop, Mad Max, Point Break, The Crow, Childs Play, Fletch, Starship Troopers, The Never Ending Story, Seven Samurai, Wargames, Commando, Romancing the Stone, and Scarface. Yes, those are all really in the pipe.

I actually liked the American version of "The Ring" better than the Japanese.

Someone please nuke Hollywood. It's time to tear the whole thing down and start over again.

[BrianC]

Get ready for the upcoming remakes of: Robocop, Mad Max, Point Break, The Crow, Childs Play, Fletch, Starship Troopers, The Never Ending Story, Seven Samurai, Wargames, Commando, Romancing the Stone, and Scarface. Yes, those are all really in the pipe.

Sounds like the Never Ending Story really is never ending. Even a couple of movies that already have remakes (Seven Samurai and Scarface) are getting remade yet again. Yikes!

[drauch]

Red Dawn never should have been remade.

Get ready for the upcoming remakes of: Robocop, Mad Max, Point Break, The Crow, Childs Play, Fletch, Starship Troopers, The Never Ending Story, Seven Samurai, Wargames, Commando, Romancing the Stone, and Scarface. Yes, those are all really in the pipe.

I actually liked the American version of "The Ring" better than the Japanese.

Someone please nuke Hollywood. It's time to tear the whole thing down and start over again.

Ughhhhhh. So gross.

One remake I'm thankful for is John Carpenter's The Thing.

[Skykid]

One remake I'm thankful for is John Carpenter's The Thing.

Sarcasm. Please.

[dcharlieJP]

The Thing has two remakes right - the remake that was good was the "tied to this f*cking couch!" remake and not the recent one (or was that a prequel?)

Get Carter - Stallone version - is shocking. Then throw in the fact that he says "i'm Jack Carter" to a character played by Mr Caine himself.... #shakesfist

[killer7]

As soon as I read the topic I instantly think The Wicker Man. Nicolas Cage should have been shot for that. The original is perfect for me and didnt need remaking. Whats sadder about remakes is meeting younger people who dont know its a remake.

[BIL]

I assumed (actually, I'm dead certain) drauch meant he was grateful for JC's 1982 remake of "The Thing From Another World."

Despite the title, "The Thing" (2011) is a prequel to Carpenter's movie. A really lame prequel. The 1982 film's brief Swedish - I mean, Norwegian camp segment owns it in every regard imaginable. Besides CG cartoon monsters.

I couldn't believe Stallone's Get Carter even existed at first.

[drauch]

I assumed (actually, I'm dead certain) drauch meant he was grateful for JC's 1982 remake of "The Thing From Another World."

Despite the title, "The Thing" (2011) is a prequel to Carpenter's movie. A really lame prequel. The 1982 film's brief Swedish - I mean, Norwegian camp segment owns it in every regard imaginable. Besides CG cartoon monsters.

I couldn't believe Stallone's Get Carter even existed at first.

Haha, yep. I would think most of you guys know my film tastes by now. I keep forgetting the new film even exists, and I guess I should probably keep it that way, judging from what I've read/been told.

[WKL]

Fairly recent night at friend's house. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer dvd has almost run its course.

End credits start rolling. Someone says "can't believe I've watched this film for the umpteenth time. gets worse every time I watch it. time for a remake."

Room erupts with the sound of unbridled roars of laughter.

[Acid King]

Has anyone seen the remake of Maniac with Elijah Wood?

[Mortificator]

Fairly recent night at friend's house. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer dvd has almost run its course.

End credits start rolling. Someone says "can't believe I've watched this film for the umpteenth time. gets worse every time I watch it. time for a remake."

Room erupts with the sound of unbridled roars of laughter.

Heh, I remember Siskel talking about how he thought Henry was much better than The Silence of the Lambs.

On The Thing, the '82 film isn't really a remake of the one from the '50s, but a different adaption of the same novel. It seems like a pedantic distinction, but I think the creative process between making an adaption and a remake is pretty different.

That was the stupidest movie I have seen in ages.

Oh yeah, Star Trek Into Darkness's plot was idiotic. I'm an enormous fan of the original series, but I actually like this cast. It's too bad they're stuck into nonsense rivaling Threshold.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

Oh yeah, Star Trek Into Darkness's plot was idiotic. I'm an enormous fan of the original series, but I actually like this cast. It's too bad they're stuck into nonsense rivaling Threshold.

They're a bit younger than I'd expect a crew to be, but otherwise they're fine, it's just they're constantly forced into idiotic dialogue/actions. Why does Kirk constantly have to be all "lookatme! i'm a rebel" and why did a gunship manage to attack a military headquarters (do they not have guards, turrets, ANYTHING?!) and why didn't Scotty have his gun trained on Khan even after he'd been stunned? The guy is a CRAZY SUPER SOLDIER, you were told to keep him stunned, fuck's sake.

The whole plot is driven by people being stupid. :/

[shmuppyLove]

Movie remakes that shouldn't happen/of happened

*HAVE happened

[BIL]

why didn't Scotty have his gun trained on Khan even after he'd been stunned? The guy is a CRAZY SUPER SOLDIER, you were told to keep him stunned, fuck's sake.

Butbutbut den how would he of smash dat doods head liek a melon!

[BryanM]

Starship Troopers

As pitiful as I am, not horrified by this one. Sci-Fi anything is well, in short supply.

Fleet does the flying, MI does the dying.

Maybe the thread should be "Movie remakes that are actually good". I can't think of any.

Some folks calls it a sling blade. Not me. I calls it a kaiser blade.

uh. hurm.

[BIL]

And damn, what a great deal that album's counterpart The Fly I & II Collector Set is. You get The Fly '86 = masterpiece of body horror. And then you get ELEVATOR ACTION THE MOVIE preceded by bonus short "The Fly II!"

[Skykid]

I assumed (actually, I'm dead certain) drauch meant he was grateful for JC's 1982 remake of "The Thing From Another World."

Despite the title, "The Thing" (2011) is a prequel to Carpenter's movie. A really lame prequel. The 1982 film's brief Swedish - I mean, Norwegian camp segment owns it in every regard imaginable. Besides CG cartoon monsters.

I couldn't believe Stallone's Get Carter even existed at first.

Haha, yep. I would think most of you guys know my film tastes by now. I keep forgetting the new film even exists, and I guess I should probably keep it that way, judging from what I've read/been told.

Sorry Mr.D, got the comment all wrong! That's what happens when someone says A Tale of Two Sisters is a good film, I automatically think there's more facepalming afoot.

For the record, the remake/prequel is so blah, it's vastly outshone by the original Thing From Another World. As old B&W horror movies go, it's pretty good.

[Mortificator]

I didn't hate the Peter Jackson remake of King Kong. It didn't really improve on the original, but I don't know if any movie has.

And I liked Insomnia, but I haven't seen the original Norwegian version.

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Luc Besson's Le Femme Nikita (circa 1990) was cool/grounbreaking for it's time. The Hollywood remake of it, under the title of "Point of No Return" released in 1993 with actress Bridget Fonda as top billing doesn't quite live up to the tight pace/action scenes of the original. Even the main shootout inside a fine dining establishment/chef's prep room seems like a carbon copy scene-for-scene of the original.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[KAI]

Django.
Even if I'm a big of Irons, I think Lolita by Kubrick is better.
Mad Max: Fury Road (I hate you already)

I wouldn't like to see the remakes of Rambo, Blade Runner, Robocop or The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

[rapoon]

Maybe the thread should be "Movie remakes that are actually good". I can't think of any.

magnificent seven
fistful of dollars
cape fear


movies like Infernal Affairs and Insomnia set the bar so high, it's easy to have unrealistic expectations when a remake comes along.
I try to not let my personal feelings towards the originals cloud my opinion of the remake, unless the underlying message/theme is neutered/butchered i.e. The Vanishing
With that being said, The Departed and Insomnia are both pretty good.

I mentioned The Vanishing up top as well. review review2 anyone else seen it?