Optimist or pessimist?

[Skykid]

This post from Nasty Wolverine cut me real deep, or at least made me feel glum about the future.

Everyone experiences hardships. I've had to deal with all sorts of crap and consequences that have got me down in life, creating some real mental baggage, and we all have regrets, I'm sure.

But I like to think I'm still a positive person in-spite of it. A cup's half full optimist, even in the face of genuine upset and difficulties.

Why Wolverine is informing me that life is a road of terminal suck I'm not sure. Perhaps there are some guys here who believe the contrary? (Hope so!)

So optimist or pessimist, which are you, and why?

[xbl0x180]

It depends on the who, what, where, why, and how. I'm not all-pessimist and not all-optimist. Example: I know I'm good at my job and that I don't have to worry about work/income... at all. I may hate paying for stuff, but I don't have to worry about money. So, lyfe is good. On the other hand, I know for a fact I won't ever have friends and other meaningful relationships while living here (other than immediate family), so lyfe is and will be very, very lonesome from time to time... and for sure it'll cut on my quality of life and lifespan (by about 10 years). So, lyfe is teh suck.

#foreveralone.jpg
#1stWorldProblems

[Furry Fox Jet Pilot]

I see the world for what it is, which unfortunately in it's current state, is a mess. I don't sugar-coat things, nor do I overexaggerate negativity. I don't have much faith in humanity, or anything for that matter, but the point is if you sugar-coat things, you are just going to end up with the biggest disappointment of your life when you realize that it's not all pretty rainbows and shit. By doing that, you'll just fall farther down. On the other hand, if you are constantly seeing everything pessimistically, you will eventually fall into a numbing depression (trust me, I've been there). So just make the best of what you are given in your life, and don't hope for too much, and don't be consumed by despair. Well, I guess that makes me slightly pessimistic, doesn't it?

[BareKnuckleRoo]

nor do I overexaggerate negativity.

uh

just sayin'

[KAI]

I'm optimistic cause I think my life can't be worse, and pessimistic cause I think my life can't be better.

[drauch]

Pessimist.

Optimism only leads to further disappointment. Everything hurts so much more when you feel like it's going to go fine. I feel like the perpetual optimist is nothing more than a liar. "Things will work out." "Things will get better." etc., isn't reality. With a pessimistic outcome I'm only disappointed to an extent when something goes sour, which is almost all the time. You get used to the garbage. However, when something goes well, as a pessimist you're so surprised that the feeling is overwhelmingly great and profound, because such a thing rarely happens right. Feels great.

I dunno, I kind of agree with wolverine. Everything just gets worse the older you get, it seems. The last great years are those of a child. How you cope with the rest may decide your outcome and your general disposition, but the misery generally keeps flowing.

Just my thoughts. I'm actually quite content with my life, although a lot of things could be better, but I can't complain too much. Not really a fan of other humans.

[Skykid]

I'm optimistic cause I think my life can't be worse, and pessimistic cause I think my life can't be better.

Ha ha (I'm laughing with you, not at you - well put!)

Pessimist.

Optimism only leads to further disappointment. Everything hurts so much more when you feel like it's going to go fine. I feel like the perpetual optimist is nothing more than a liar. "Things will work out." "Things will get better." etc., isn't reality. With a pessimistic outcome I'm only disappointed to an extent when something goes sour, which is almost all the time. You get used to the garbage. However, when something goes well, as a pessimist you're so surprised that the feeling is overwhelmingly great and profound, because such a thing rarely happens right. Feels great.

I dunno, I kind of agree with wolverine. Everything just gets worse the older you get, it seems. The last great years are those of a child. How you cope with the rest may decide your outcome and your general disposition, but the misery generally keeps flowing.

Just my thoughts. I'm actually quite content with my life, although a lot of things could be better, but I can't complain too much. Not really a fan of other humans.

Hmm... I don't go in for perpetual optimists either. It's impossible to be truly perpetually optimistic because stuff happens that will always trouble you or get you down. Life isn't smooth sailing, no matter how wealthy or happy you think you are.

That said, isn't real optimism about taking your opportunities and accepting your difficulties and just making the best of things? For me, that's all it boils down to.

I spent seven years - most of my hallowed twenties - working in a bloody office with the equivalent of zoo animals for bosses and children as staff I needed to manage. I really regret staying as long as I did: by the end I was stressed to the nth degree, feeling as though my youth was slipping through my fingers and had my back to the wall with no way out. It took way too long to go, but when I did I decided not just to leave the job, but to leave the country. I wanted to reclaim lost time.

Things aren't smooth in China - I still have loads on my plate - but it's a fascinating new world and I'm taking a bite out of absolutely anything on offer. You could say I'm indulging greedily while the getting is good.

Is that optimism?

[gct]

I'm optimistic cause I think my life can't be worse, and pessimistic cause I think my life can't be better.

Ha ha (I'm laughing with you, not at you - well put!)

I've been saying something like that whenever people ask me how things are going. My own take is that life can be a lot worse, but it can also be a lot better. I mean, I don't live in a part of the world where I need to worry every day whether a missile will fall on my home, or whether a bomb will be on the bus, but if only she could reciprocate my love...

I guess I'm also the foreveralone.jpg and 1st world problems thing. I, as a man who has everything except one thing, ought to be happier than the man who has that one thing but has nothing else. Am I right?

[dcharlieJP]

I switched about 3 years ago from being overly pessimistic to optimistic - on one basic premise really: stuff is going to happen, bad or good, whether you like it or not and wrapping yourself in pessimism isn't going to help. Not to say i'm -screamingly- optimistic - but i just don' t see any coin in being glum or expecting the worst. I've found concentrating on the simple and good things in life makes the pessimism drain away.

[system11]

Pessimist.

Optimism only leads to further disappointment. Everything hurts so much more when you feel like it's going to go fine. I feel like the perpetual optimist is nothing more than a liar. "Things will work out." "Things will get better." etc., isn't reality. With a pessimistic outcome I'm only disappointed to an extent when something goes sour, which is almost all the time. You get used to the garbage. However, when something goes well, as a pessimist you're so surprised that the feeling is overwhelmingly great and profound, because such a thing rarely happens right. Feels great.

I dunno, I kind of agree with wolverine. Everything just gets worse the older you get, it seems. The last great years are those of a child. How you cope with the rest may decide your outcome and your general disposition, but the misery generally keeps flowing.

Just my thoughts. I'm actually quite content with my life, although a lot of things could be better, but I can't complain too much. Not really a fan of other humans.

Everything he said.

It's a constant procession of mildly back luck and decisions you have no input in, which negatively affect your life.

[gct]

I switched about 3 years ago from being overly pessimistic to optimistic - on one basic premise really: stuff is going to happen, bad or good, whether you like it or not and wrapping yourself in pessimism isn't going to help. Not to say i'm -screamingly- optimistic - but i just don' t see any coin in being glum or expecting the worst. I've found concentrating on the simple and good things in life makes the pessimism drain away.

I would go a bit further to say that some things happen beyond our control, but pessimism (or perhaps depression) can become a block to having certain good things happen, because turning your life and luck around really takes a positive effort. Sometimes I think I might be depressed - I've never had a professional assessment but I wouldn't be surprised if I am. But as long as I realize that possibility is there, I know that life goes on. Even if the future looks miserable, I have some skills and rather than waste away my life wallowing in despair I might as well put them to use before my time is up.

[7711]

I'm pessimistic by nature but why people would be pessimistic about the future is a mystery for me.
I'm still pretty young so maybe thats why.

[ACSeraph]

Not really a fan of other humans.

This^

Not so much directly pessimistic as I just think the world is an ugly place. In a way I'm optimistic because I tend to think in terms of "it could have been much worse", but my general outlook on the world and most of the people in it isn't sunny.

[drauch]

That said, isn't real optimism about taking your opportunities and accepting your difficulties and just making the best of things? For me, that's all it boils down to.

I spent seven years - most of my hallowed twenties - working in a bloody office with the equivalent of zoo animals for bosses and children as staff I needed to manage. I really regret staying as long as I did: by the end I was stressed to the nth degree, feeling as though my youth was slipping through my fingers and had my back to the wall with no way out. It took way too long to go, but when I did I decided not just to leave the job, but to leave the country. I wanted to reclaim lost time.

Things aren't smooth in China - I still have loads on my plate - but it's a fascinating new world and I'm taking a bite out of absolutely anything on offer. You could say I'm indulging greedily while the getting is good.

Is that optimism?

Well, i feel like optimism can't be about making the best of things, because I think almost everyone is trying to do that anyway with whatever life hands them. You step in shit, you're going to wipe it off, no matter how you look at life. I feel like the optimist is always looking into the future. "This situation isn't the best right now, but it's not the end. Things will get better" sort of attitude.

I don't know, but the sentiment of getting while the gettings good is sort of a pessimistic statement. "Everything is great now, but it won't be eventually" is how it sort of comes off to me. Enjoyment certainly rings of optimism, but I'd say to be a true optimist the enjoyment would never fully end.

Honestly, though, it sounds like the right sort of attitude to live life. Enjoy things and don't let the future bog you down. A mix of realistic optimism and pessimism. Sadly not how I think, but the thought of an indefinite inevitably would be nice way to live.

[Skykid]

Well this thread is making me optimistic on a personal level - what a bunch of morose motherfuckers you lot are!

Isn't it possible to just work through life's hardships while grabbing hold of what's good and what makes you feel happy at the same time?

Also, anyone who feels as though much of their pessimism comes from their work and the system that binds you, if it's really getting you down, leave.

Might not sound easy, but it's not as difficult once you make the leap. My seven year service to corporate hypocrisy and general pain demanded I do something to deliver myself from servitude. There are MANY ways out. Think creatively and find a way to step outside the system, I promise it can be done.

I don't know, but the sentiment of getting while the gettings good is sort of a pessimistic statement. "Everything is great now, but it won't be eventually" is how it sort of comes off to me. Enjoyment certainly rings of optimism, but I'd say to be a true optimist the enjoyment would never fully end.

My old man once told me:

"You spend your whole life looking toward the future, until one day you realise you're only looking back."

That scared the shit out of me. When I get so old that remembering the past is all I have left, I want there to be something worth remembering! So yes, life is shit and then you die, but grab it by the balls and remember to live as much as you can! Fuck social morals, fuck government and corporate ownership, be your own person and do what you want to do.

[CIT]

I'm overall pretty optimistic. I live a pretty privileged life, living in motherfuckin rainbowgummybearcountry (=Germany), with a reasonably secure job, nice girlfriend, retirement plan up and running, etc. and I think I'm pretty good at keeping stress out of my life. I also have a lot of friends and a really good relationship with my family. Very important factors, IMO.

I do have somewhat low expectations of people in general though. A lot of people don't really know what they want, are too caught up in themselves, and make a big deal out of petty and inconsequential problems. It's better to surround yourself with people who you can learn something from and who will inspire you.

This is my ranking:
1. People who talk about ideas. <— cool
2. People who talk about things. <— OK
3. People who talk about other people. <— avoid

[Skykid]

This is my ranking:
1. People who talk about ideas. <— cool
2. People who talk about things. <— OK
3. People who talk about other people. <— avoid

Ha ha, I really like that.


I think enjoying your work is so important... watch out, diversionary splinter subject incoming!

From personal experience and things I've read and watched on the subject, we're all naturally creative people. Even if someone seems like a total plank, there's probably still something that once inspired them, and sometimes creativity can be seen trying to sprout through less obvious hobbies: for example, KAI's cataloguing of game music, System11's fixing of PCB's etc. I couldn't even begin to count the number of people who had wonderful, bright ideas, with tons of enthusiasm for publishing books, building websites, opening shops, freelancing graphic design etc, who could never gain any traction or momentum because they were stuck in a 9-5 slave job and had just enough disposable income to survive.

I think the system (THA SYSTEM!) is very much to blame for the general dissatisfaction people have with their lives. People should be able to pursue their interests, but we're channeled into facets of work that we don't necessarily have any inspiration for, just to make ends meet.

Ruby Wax did a really (honestly) fascinating TED talk called What's so Funny About Mental Illness? that you can watch here.

She basically defines all of us as suffering from a form of mental illness because the world around us is not fashioned to our natural instincts and behaviours as a species, causing us a fair amount of distress and difficulty - unknowingly - as we try to cope. It's very interesting and I recommend clicking the link above and spending 8 minutes with it.

Not to digress: my greatest cause of dissatisfaction, leading to depression, frustration and mental struggling, was finding myself in a job I didn't want to do for way too long. I did my best to make it my own, but it simply wasn't me: I felt like it took a piece of me every day that I couldn't get back. I don't want to earn cash for Rupert Murdoch, I despise the guy!

And sure, everyone will say "If you studied to be a doctor, you could have done that instead". Well I didn't want to be a doctor either. All my passions are creative and artistic, and there isn't much room for that these days unless you have friends in high places or choose to go it alone. So I went it alone.

[pestro87]

I'm a realist.

[DEL]

pestro87 wrote;

I'm a realist.

So am I. But first we've all got to do some research into what the reality is.

As for optimist or pessimist. I will of course come across as a pessimist, but I'm not.

system11 wrote;

It's a constant procession of mildly back luck and decisions you have no input in, which negatively affect your life.

"Decisions you have no input in" - Yes these certainly exist.

But with regard to the decisions you do have input in.....I would have to go back to what I'm always saying to Skykid in PM's, that life is all about making good well researched, well reasoned Choices. Life is a game of Darius. Do I choose to Rush into Zone B and go up or Rush into Zone C and go down or choose to zig-zag through the middle.
Your choices will help your scoring and survival.
I know a bundle of people who didn't do the research for their life choices and their lives went down the pan. You can't encounter Fatty Glutton without X3 bullets or Wave.

[jonny5]

I switched about 3 years ago from being overly pessimistic to optimistic - on one basic premise really: stuff is going to happen, bad or good, whether you like it or not and wrapping yourself in pessimism isn't going to help. Not to say i'm -screamingly- optimistic - but i just don' t see any coin in being glum or expecting the worst. I've found concentrating on the simple and good things in life makes the pessimism drain away.

Pretty much this. I can still be fairly negative and pessimistic sometimes, but I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be. Life's too short, be happy and do your thing. If things are looking bad, change things so it gets better, otherwise you have nobody to blame but yourself.

I'm a realist.

Also, this

[BryanM]

Denial and delusion is what gets you out of bed in the morning, so I try to bullshit myself as much as possible. It doesn't help that I'm one skeptical bastard.

Seriously, we're all just a bunch of mice in big cage. Nothing good will come of this, but I choose to believe extinction in the near term will be avoided, the robot wives will come (oh yes they will), and people won't have to be unwilling slaves/prostitutes to alpha mice anymore.

I also like to call these kooky thoughts, religion.

[Jonst]

What about the time worn phrase 'you make you're own luck'? (I don't hold that belief)

[CptRansom]

For the entirety of my late teens and pretty much all of my twenties, I was an extreme pessimist. This was directed at other people, but I was more pessimistic about myself and my (lack of) ability than anything else. Within the last year, the glass is slowly becoming half-full instead of half-empty (emphasis on slowly). As for where it stemmed from: a decade-long series of catastrophic failures in relationships that left me feeling like I was apparently just a shitty dude (I blamed myself for every tiny thing that went wrong even when things weren't my fault), and an extreme need for perfectionism that leaves me paralyzed at the smallest failures to the point that I have a difficult time NOT giving up (for example: see how I constantly switch games). I started getting over the first thing late last year, and I've been working on the second one recently.

I'm hoping to go from kind-of-a-pessimist to kind-of-an-optimist over the course of the next year. =D

This is my ranking:
1. People who talk about ideas. <— cool
2. People who talk about things. <— OK
3. People who talk about other people. <— avoid

This is just awesome.

What about the time worn phrase 'you make you're own luck'? (I don't hold that belief)

That time-worn phrase needs to go back to elementary school to learn the whole "you're/your" thing.

[trap15]

Pessimist.

Optimism only leads to further disappointment. Everything hurts so much more when you feel like it's going to go fine. I feel like the perpetual optimist is nothing more than a liar. "Things will work out." "Things will get better." etc., isn't reality. With a pessimistic outcome I'm only disappointed to an extent when something goes sour, which is almost all the time. You get used to the garbage. However, when something goes well, as a pessimist you're so surprised that the feeling is overwhelmingly great and profound, because such a thing rarely happens right. Feels great.

I dunno, I kind of agree with wolverine. Everything just gets worse the older you get, it seems. The last great years are those of a child. How you cope with the rest may decide your outcome and your general disposition, but the misery generally keeps flowing.

Just my thoughts. I'm actually quite content with my life, although a lot of things could be better, but I can't complain too much. Not really a fan of other humans.

Pretty much this to the dot.

[Jonst]

Cool! I knew a grammar nazi would get me sooner or later!

[Domino]

An Optimist Realist. It's better to look at the world from the optimist perspective than keep pissing on it all the time. I have enough pessimist friends as it is to make me want to vomit. Then again some of these pessimist friends are still in their late 20s, living with their parents, virgins, and use anything nerd culture to escape from that fact. Then again I see many of friends having more pessimist facts because they are still in college after 5+ years and doing the same crap when I met them for the first time back when I enrolled in University. It's like by the time they are 30 they will be in the post college life already. It is getting a little annoying.

[CMoon]

Isn't it possible to just work through life's hardships while grabbing hold of what's good and what makes you feel happy at the same time?

This simple view is pretty much the way I see things. Personally my outlook on the world as a whole is pretty grim--no escaping 7 billion people and the consequences that come with that, but I'm all for making the best of it. The fact we each have a quality enough life that allows us to play video games, surf the net, or even care whether people are optimists or pessimists puts us among the most privileged living things on this planet. Enjoy this shit out of it while you can!

[broken harbour]

Our civilization is designed to reward those who lie, cheat, steal, and murder.

Those of us not willing to live that way are bound to have to struggle through life.


Personally, I'm realist, though to most it looks like pessimism.

-Most of the time, I'm embarrassed to be human.

-You make your own breaks, for the most part.

[Vyxx]

My stance on the subject has changed over the years but now I basically just try and see the world for what it is. There's always going to be hardship, loss, mistakes, regret. I think accepting all the negative stuff has made me appreciate what I do have now in the present a lot more, and with that came a lot more happiness (and optimism)

Regret has brought me nothing good and so even with the mistakes I've made it's a lot easier to live knowing I at least still control my future (in a way)

I could never be a complete pessimist because even though I know horrible stuff is happening (and always going to continue) in my life everything that isn't negative is just a bonus. I like to go into situations expecting the worst, so then I'm not let down when it happens, but when the situation turns out good it's like a bonus I guess...

[charlie chong]

it's hard to be optimist with bipolar and now health problems as well
still you try to make the best and persevere