The Smurfs (2011)

[BPzeBanshee]

http://au.movies.yahoo.com/movie/22930/ ... /25347901/

Looks like they're not live-action people in silly suits after all.

[GaijinPunch]

Smurfy!

[CIT]

Looks like shit, just like every other computer animated "cartoon."

[BPzeBanshee]

Looks like shit, just like every other computer animated "cartoon."

And in 3D too. With the kind of price we're being charged here I can't see me going for this anyway.

Roll in the jokes guys, that's what I made this thread for.

[Skykid]

Jesus Christ why the hell can't they ever do anything except make the same movies over and over again?

[jochen]

Awful - seeing this I just hope that Gargamel wins this time, has success in making
gold ( you need six smurfs for the magic I remember correctly ) and cooks the
rest of the smurfs in an sweet-sour-sauce and gets diarhoea from that.

Also I wait for the day then Elmar Fudd shoots Bugs Bunny.

[Sumez]

With Hank Azaria playing Gargamel it's impossible not to side with him.

[Acid King]

Here's hoping for a Snorks movie.

[EinhanderZwei]

Why in the name of FUUUU do ALL the modern trailers begin with some stupid shots of camera flying around the city and some asshole telling the BREAKING NEWS on any single TV onscreen?! That's the least what I've expected in a movie about fucking Smurfs!!!

[Skykid]

Why in the name of FUUUU do ALL the modern trailers begin with some stupid shots of camera flying around the city and some asshole telling the BREAKING NEWS on any single TV onscreen?! That's the least what I've expected in a movie about fucking Smurfs!!!

Cos all modern trailers are of modern movies which are turned out like shitty confectionary on a shitty production line. Templates, that's all they are. Even the dialogue is a derivative of a derivative of a derivate.

If you want to watch real movies, don't watch Hollywood movies.

[Sumez]

I think this is supposed to be a half assed parody of those trailers, though.

[MR_Soren]

I actually like the Smurfs, but this looks awful.

[Specineff]

Newer generations that didn't grow up with them aren't going to connect with the concept. It's been outdone by many other concepts by now.

And trying to appeal to the generation that grew up with them isn't going to work if they keep all these gimmicks up. They're only alienating them. Just... let old franchises lie.

[Daigohji]

This looks utterly devoid of identity. You could replace the effects with any other bunch of pint-sized CG characters and be unable to tell the difference.

[lilmanjs]

this can't really be the movie, can it?

[Observer]

this can't really be the movie, can it?

They did Garfield. And Alvin and the Chipmunks. And Rocky and Bullwinkle.

I mean, reality is always shittier and worse than any fiction.

I miss those days where movies would use dolls, animatronics and all kind of crazy weird shit that was actually real instead of this inane, dull, lifeless CGI shit. Stop motion ED-209 ftw.

At least they could've done an animated movie for the kids. 3D is overrated.

Transformes the animated, glorious '80s movie. Now that's where the true awesome stuff for your kids was. Hair metal, heavy metal, pop rock (YOU'VE GOT THE TOUCH!) and keyboard-driven music, it had it all, dammit.

[Skykid]

this can't really be the movie, can it?

They did Garfield. And Alvin and the Chipmunks. And Rocky and Bullwinkle.

I mean, reality is always shittier and worse than any fiction.

I miss those days where movies would use dolls, animatronics and all kind of crazy weird shit that was actually real instead of this inane, dull, lifeless CGI shit. Stop motion ED-209 ftw.

At least they could've done an animated movie for the kids. 3D is overrated.

Transformes the animated, glorious '80s movie. Now that's where the true awesome stuff for your kids was. Hair metal, heavy metal, pop rock (YOU'VE GOT THE TOUCH!) and keyboard-driven music, it had it all, dammit.

^ post of the week.

[cj iwakura]

Well, that was back when everything for kids wasn't sugar-coated. Heck, look at the (original live action) TMNT movie. Drug abuse, kidnapping, organized crime, underage smoking, gang warfare. And penicillin-coated pizza!

Rated PG. It's aged well for a reason.

[Skykid]

Well, that was back when everything for kids wasn't sugar-coated. Heck, look at the (original live action) TMNT movie. Drug abuse, kidnapping, organized crime, underage smoking, gang warfare. And penicillin-coated pizza!

80's TV prepared kids for kicking ass, cleaning up the mean streets and generally vanquishing evil.

Nowadays kids are Twilight loving pansies.

[Observer]

Well, that was back when everything for kids wasn't sugar-coated. Heck, look at the (original live action) TMNT movie. Drug abuse, kidnapping, organized crime, underage smoking, gang warfare. And penicillin-coated pizza!

80's TV prepared kids for kicking ass, cleaning up the mean streets and generally vanquishing evil.

Nowadays kids are pansies.

Glad I'm not alone in this. I almost had a heart attack with my cousins not even knowing (or caring) about anything but Call of Duty.

What I watched as a kid was Mazinger Z, Astroboy, Gatchaman (Fuerza-G in spanish, f·$%$· Zoltar/Galactor always escaping!), Robotech (I know, a terrible mishmash, but it had Macross, Southern Cross and glorious Mospeada, transformable motorcycles, motherfucking badass manly mechas, glorious crustacean aliens and transexual singers!), Thunder Thunder Thunder THUNDERCATS, Silverhawks (space robot cowboys playing keyboards in space, a dude with a freaking telescope in his head, heavy metal and more), the above mentioned Transformers (that made made you a man, poor Optimus), Akira (I didn't get jack when I saw it for the first time, certainly not a movie for a 6 year old, lol, but I knew it was awesome), dinosaurs (Dinosaucers anyone?), Cadillacs, vinyls with audio dramas or traditional folk songs (today, the same vinyl player is at my house, still operational), hats and gangsters (my grandfather was a fan of The Untouchables and all those movies with awesome suits and style)... It made you dream or use the brain a bit more, you eventually wanted to grow up and become a man (something that seems to be in-denial nowadays, with people of my age or older acting like retarded 16 year old kids) and remember these moments with a big smile.

We got a heavy influx of japanese animation down here in the '80s, with a lot of cool mecha series and stuff that was generally pretty mature. I grew up watching that kind of stuff. Seeing the state of current anime, more preoccupied on who-gets-who, if X or Y are virgins or second hand, the harem or who is prettier (if I hear kawaii/cute one more time I'll scream), breaks my poor metal heart. I still cannot thank enough to the people who recommended Legend of the Galactic Heroes. Boy I missed this kind of stuff!

These were the '80s. Contrasts everywhere, silly, even terribly retarded, not perfect by a long-shot but full of awesome nonetheless. And Commando was released in the '80s. It doesn't get any better than Commando.

Look what the US could put out back then! This is the shit I want to show my kids! Surrender or pay the consequences, baby!

edit: sorry, I sometimes get too carried away, please forgive my exaggeration

And I won't deny I also watched the original Smurfs series. That damn opening... I was always rooting for Gargamel, lol.

Today they showed the official local trailer (as usual, they treat us like we are retarded and we can't read subs since they bring dubbed copies) and I just wanted to cry. Reality overcomes fiction and, once again, proves shit can get shittier.

[Skykid]

Well, that was back when everything for kids wasn't sugar-coated. Heck, look at the (original live action) TMNT movie. Drug abuse, kidnapping, organized crime, underage smoking, gang warfare. And penicillin-coated pizza!

80's TV prepared kids for kicking ass, cleaning up the mean streets and generally vanquishing evil.

Nowadays kids are pansies.

Glad I'm not alone in this.

We're practically kindred spirits on the subject, I'm with you 100% of the way. S'pecially this:

Seeing the state of current anime, more preoccupied on who-gets-who, if X or Y are virgins or second hand, the harem or who is prettier (if I hear kawaii/cute one more time I'll scream), breaks my poor metal heart.

^ Basically why anime is all but dead to me these days. It's completely gay.

That Spiral Zone intro was awesome too.

[Ruldra]

Seeing the state of current anime, more preoccupied on who-gets-who, if X or Y are virgins or second hand, the harem or who is prettier (if I hear kawaii/cute one more time I'll scream), breaks my poor metal heart.

Obligatory:

[Skykid]

That sums it up pretty neatly, although there are probably loads of similar examples.

That's Wings of Honneamise right? That's one helluva movie.

[Siren2011]

That is really REALLy sad.. Gainax is dead to me. Fuck their new artists. Their love for surrealist humor has crushed what mad them great. Way to take the gay conformist route. I mean LOOK at the detail on the left!! It makes the left one look like Melancholy of Suckacockahara for god's sake. Thraileor trash of animu, for sure. That's why otaku cream themselves over it.

I still need to see Wings Of Hommeamise, btw.

[Skykid]

That is really REALLy sad.. Gainax is dead to me. Fuck their new artists. Their love for surrealist humor has crushed what mad them great. Way to take the gay conformist route. I mean LOOK at the detail on the left!! It makes the left one look like Melancholy of Suckacockahara for god's sake. Thraileor trash of animu, for sure. That's why otaku cream themselves over it.

In the pursuit of profit creativity often dies first. If waify otaku jizz over badly drawn, derivative, girly, soulless flash drawn anime, then Gainax will continue to go where the money is.

[Siren2011]

Than the solution is simple: kill all of the otaku, cut off their (Gainax's) biggest soures of income, and they will have no other audience to cater to then the people who respect their old work, or else it's tits-up for them. The problem with that is, how in the hell am I going to bring all of those fuckers to one place?? a multinational Anime Con with the biggest voice actor panel ever, with "all blue-eyed female otaku handing out free blowjobs in Yuffie cosplay, no matter how ugly you are" as a promise on the advertisement?? Also, I will need a hydrogyn bomb as well as an aircraft that can't be detected on radar's feed.

[JoshF]

Madhouse never lost their touch. The new X-Men anime looks great.

[Observer]

Than the solution is simple: kill all of the otaku, cut off their (Gainax's) biggest soures of income, and they will have no other audience to cater to then the people who respect their old work, or else it's tits-up for them. The problem with that is, how in the hell am I going to bring all of those fuckers to one place?? a multinational Anime Con with the biggest voice actor panel ever, with "all blue-eyed female otaku handing out free blowjobs in Yuffie cosplay, no matter how ugly you are" as a promise on the advertisement?? Also, I will need a hydrogyn bomb as well as an aircraft that can't be detected on radar's feed.

Wait, wait... is that for real? Seriously? I'm way out of the loop but that kind of reinforces my "reality always overcomes fiction" statement. Never in my weirdest comments I could've come up with that, lol!

But it's not just Gainax. Many have fallen. Just look at JC-Staff, jeez. Or Deen. At least Shaft coats the loli shit with 1000 gallons of dadaism, "Shaft being Shaft" (artsy faggsy?), and crazy shit (Madoka comes to my mind, it's still pathetic that it had to be labeled the series of the decade, Evangelion has caused so much harm... well, I mean, the fandom that didn't fucking got the "message" from the author: something about stop being obsessed retards but, no, they became even more obsessed and created the "creepy otaku" label, got loli-crazy, and there is that guy who bought 5000 or 500 CDs from AKB48, whatever that is, probably some generic j-pop singing about kokoro, hikari, kimochi and those generic words that compose the template songs used) but I would exchange all that for at least ONE (1), jeez, ONEEEEE decent mecha series like those from old. Last one I watched was Kishin Taisen Gigantic Formula and, while it was a welcomed blast to the past, it was quite average overall.

Again, the Transformers animated movie did it right: it spared you all the filler. It was all about giant toy robots beating the shit out of each other.

...

Look what CGI Smurfs can do to us!!!! These things are evil I tell you. PLEASE, THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN! Before you dare to take them to see this monster, go take them to watch Ponyo (I have the DVD and I'll brainwash my cousins with that) or Spirited Away/Chihiro. Or sit them to watch some good old fashioned Astroboy or Kimba or something!

[cj iwakura]

To be fair, not all of new-school Gainax is bad. Gurren Lagaan is some wild ish.


Panty & Stocking... uh. It's certainly something.


I love Serial Experiments Lain, and that was 1999(I think).
(Not Gainax either, but wonderful.)

[Skykid]

a multinational Anime Con with the biggest voice actor panel ever, with "all blue-eyed female otaku handing out free blowjobs in Yuffie cosplay, no matter how ugly you are" as a promise on the advertisement??

Lol

Madhouse never lost their touch. The new X-Men anime looks great.

They've weathered the storm better than some, I'd agree. They still don't make 'em like Ninja Scroll anymore.
Both the recent Iwajiri movies they produced (Bloodlust and Highlander) were terrible.

But they did drag that awful Batman anime out of the mire with their two stories, Deadshot and Darkness Dwells which were far the best of a bad bunch, and I gotta give them props for WXIII: Patlabor the Movie 3, which was great.
And all of their Satoshi Kon stuff too.

I've not been following their most recent releases though.