Dumbest dialogue in movies

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:21 pm

Post any groan-inducingly bad lines you have heard from any movie. The movie in question does not have to be necessarily bad by popular opinion.

"You are USDA-choice dead meat!" -Manfred 'Turbo' Bruntley, Star Kid (1997)

There's so many stupid quotes in Armageddon (with Bruce Willis and Ben AFLAC) that I can't name them all.

kengou · Post by **kengou** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:50 pm

See the entire scripts for:
Star Wars Episode 1, 2, 3

Especially any line said by Haden Christensen

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:00 pm

"They think we're...we're crud."

-Ripley (Alien 3)
Which is a shame since Fincher is bar none the best director to touch the series. Yes, better than Ridley Scott.... I said it.

sven666 · Post by **sven666** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:46 pm

..anyone seen "hell ride"

fuuuuuuckin hell that movie was awful.

the dialogue is absoluteley ridiculous!

freddiebamboo · Post by **freddiebamboo** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:52 pm

"If you're going to dine with the Devil, you'll need a long spoon" - Jack Palance, Cyborg 2

This is truly one of the worst films I've ever seen, even if it does have Angelina Jolie getting her tits out. Avoid like the plague.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:01 pm

kengou wrote:See the entire scripts for:
Star Wars Episode 1, 2, 3

Especially any line said by Haden Christensen

"I hate sand."

jpj · Post by **jpj** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:13 pm

GaijinPunch wrote:"They think we're...we're crud."

-Ripley (Alien 3)
Which is a shame since Fincher is bar none the best director to touch the series. Yes, better than Ridley Scott.... I said it.

didn't he take his name off the credits and sub it for an alias because he was so embarassed by the movie...?

the girl in aliens nearly ruins that whole movie.

they mostly come out at night. mostly...

Mortificator · Post by **Mortificator** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:17 pm

This is merely superconductor electro-magnetism. Surely you've heard of it? It levitates bullet trains from Tokyo to Osaka. It levitates my disk, where I ride the saddle of the world. And it levitates...

ME.

emphatic · Post by **emphatic** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:35 pm

jpj wrote:didn't he take his name off the credits and sub it for an alias because he was so embarassed by the movie...?

It's because those stupid suit-driven FOX idiots produced the movie. They hassled him from day one. I actually think this is the second best Alien movie.

I re-watched The Long Kiss Goodnight this Christmas. It hasn't aged well. Too many bad lines (and poor execution too, even Sam Jackson).

"Chefs do that."
Emph

BryanM · Post by **BryanM** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:48 pm

Alien 3 was definitely unpleasant..

* The "family" she fought like hell to save in the second movie, killed by offscreen non-plot. A slap in the face to the fans, since it establishes that Aliens didn't matter.

* Dog dies. Poor dog.

* Almost rape.

jpj wrote:they mostly come out at night. mostly...

Neckbearding here because that's my job; you spelled it wrong:

"They mostily come out at night......... mostily."

MadScientist · Post by **MadScientist** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:19 pm

Pretty much every line from The Swarm;

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078350/quotes

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 10:33 pm

"You know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning?"

...

"Same thing that happens to everything else."

Storm, X-Men. >_<

And to think that Solid Snake himself is responsible for that line. Ouch.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:45 am

didn't he take his name off the credits and sub it for an alias because he was so embarassed by the movie...?.

I think he's still credited somewhere, but he has definitely alienated himself from the project (pun intended). He was the only director to not give commentary for some special collection. It was also his first real directing project if I'm not mistaken. It definitely has his touch, which makes it shine, even though the script is of course, something most fans would hate. I liked that they were daring in killing off the case, even though it was to save money, and not for artistic purposes.

nash87 · Post by **nash87** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:02 am

Specineff wrote:"You know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning?"

...

"Same thing that happens to everything else."

Storm, X-Men. >_<

what were they thinking. that line was just so fucking terrible.

girl: "But i poop from there..."
buck adams (subtlely): "not right now ya don't"
girl: "Is it gunna hurt?"
I forget the rest since i started to ROFL

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:24 am

freddiebamboo wrote:"If you're going to dine with the Devil, you'll need a long spoon" - Jack Palance, Cyborg 2

And then the Joker shot him and made the line better.

Never mind that Cyborg 2 came out later.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:43 am

"Go Spidey go!"

And, I'm quite sure that this absolute clanger was said in some shit movie called Antitrust:

"When you kill people, they die!"

ROBOTRON · Post by **ROBOTRON** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:24 pm

Just about every line in Flash Gordon was corny as f*ck.

Observer · Post by **Observer** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:36 pm

Pretty much the entirety of those Steven Seagal movies I've been recently watching are one-liner driven... Each one sillier and crazier than the previous.

Just remembering that scene where he uses a credit card to slash I-don't-know-how-many-people...

Probably Street Fighter. God, that movie was terrible.

And from Collateral Damage:
*Governator with a baseball bat*
"You want collateral damage?" *blasts entire scenery with said bat*

Ultraviolet is probably one of the worst pieces of shit I ever saw:

"I have seven hundred soldiers here with me. What do you really think you can do against that many men?"
"I can kill them."

700 dudes armed with automatic rifles and all sorts of weapons, hi tech gear, gas masks (Combine rip offs) and such die by the hand of a bitch with a sword. The world is unfair.

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:31 pm

"Fighting is bad"-the first Pokemon movie

Not a movie, but the first Smurfs intro has a hilariously bad line, "That's Gargamel the evil wizard, he is bad!"

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:56 pm

"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

-Batman the Movie (the 1960s Adam West version, which is chock full of cheesy dialogue like that.)

Bloodreign · Post by **Bloodreign** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:09 pm

BrianC wrote:
Not a movie, but the first Smurfs intro has a hilariously bad line, "That's Gargamel the evil wizard, he is bad!"

Yet when they air the Smurfs these days, no matter which episode from which season they run, they never run the original intro with that line at all, they always use the later seasons intro.

Kollision · Post by **Kollision** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:31 pm

Observer wrote:Ultraviolet is probably one of the worst pieces of shit I ever saw:

"I have seven hundred soldiers here with me. What do you really think you can do against that many men?"
"I can kill them."

And when the guy brings her back to life and she asks "why?" "whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
Man, I couldn't stop laughing at this atrocity. Easily one of the worst mainstream movies made in the last decade!

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:33 pm

ROBOTRON wrote:Just about every line in Flash Gordon was corny as f*ck.

"Flash! Flash! I love you! But we have only 14 hours to save the Earth!"

I never saw the movie, but I did see the Queen music video with scenes from the movie.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:08 pm

Vexorg wrote:"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

-Batman the Movie (the 1960s Adam West version, which is chock full of cheesy dialogue like that.)

That was amazing though.

eBay taunts me with dead listings for "Moby Dick's Coffee Shop" postcards and menus. :(

Santa Barbara, California!

Dragoforce · Post by **Dragoforce** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:03 am

The script for most of the blade movies where quite horrible to. "I shot you with silver, why aren't you ash?"

sven666 · Post by **sven666** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:13 am

in "the italian job" there is a huge samoan maffia boss dude.. and at some point he gets butchered by the PG-13 ratings when he says something like "i dont mess with two things, mother nature and mother-freaking ukrainians"

if you cant say "fuck" then why keep a word like "motherfucking" in the sentence at all ?

it sounds so out of place it destroys all suspense and credibility of the whole scene and situation in my opinion..

substituting swearwords for similarly sounding gibberish is just poor writing!!

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:55 am

"You're luggage!" -Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in The Eraser after he kills a crocodile.

BryanM · Post by **BryanM** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:55 am

Stuff like:

"SCREW YOU!" - Arnold, as he kills someone with a giant drill

Is just plain awesome.

Here's a line from one of the Left Behind books:

"Any prayer of finding his wife alive depended on how quickly he could get to her. But there was no quick here. Only sand."

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:25 am

Ahnold saying "When I told you to go screw yourself, I didn't mean it literally" was rather akward.

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:28 am

And another Arnold one...

"You're fired."

-True Lies, to the villain who is hanging off the missile on his jump jet in the final scene.

Edit, here's the Youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gExeX1lPtI