Save your money: "The Day The Earth Stood Still"

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:36 am

So I went and saw the midnight IMAX showing of this "movie" tonight, and the best thing I can say about it is that nobody died as a result of having watched it...

THAT I KNOW OF! YET!

I paid eight freaking dollars to see this atrocity, and make no mistake, I'm being kind.

Dear Will Smith: I understand that you love your child, but please, for the love of heaven, either stop allowing your children to "act", or just plain stop having children!

To Jennifer Connelly: Wow. You're almost as unwatchable here as you were in "Hulk". Almost.

To John Cleese: Why, John? Why are you letting your talent be completely, totally, utterly, and in all other ways absolutely wasted in a movie like this?

To Kathy Bates: It's time to realize that retiring isn't the worst thing an actress can do.

To Kyle Chandler: You were useless and you're *so* much better than roles like this.

And finally, to Keanu Reeves: Your impeccable ability to choose greatly written films with terrific direction and production is failing fast. Ask the Wachowski brothers or James Cameron or Kenneth Branaugh or...just find somebody with some *ability* and ask if they have a part for you!

I was pissed and so was the person I saw it with. It's not even campy bad, which can be fun! It's just *plain lousy*, which always sucks.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I consider my obligation fulfilled.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:51 am

Boy, I actually have to watch this on the weekend. Not looking forward to it.

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:26 am

Remakes... *sigh*

Ex-Cyber · Post by **Ex-Cyber** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:45 am

A remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still? Seriously? The social/political context doesn't translate at all.

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:53 am

Ex-Cyber wrote:A remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still? Seriously? The social/political context doesn't translate at all.

But it's got cool special effects!

Marshall banana · Post by **Marshall banana** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:58 am

It doesn't really matter how bad the film is; you should see it just to look at Keanu. =O

Keanu is so pretty. =O

Lordstar · Post by **Lordstar** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:01 pm

Udderdude wrote:
Ex-Cyber wrote:A remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still? Seriously? The social/political context doesn't translate at all.
But it's got cool special effects!

SHHHHHHHoooooooom! KEEEEEECGH BELEUGH BOOOOM! ect

wow awesome

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:02 pm

Ex-Cyber wrote:A remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still? Seriously? The social/political context doesn't translate at all.

WAR ON IRAK

I wanted to go and see this with g/f last night but she made me go to see four Christmases instead. At one point, I was actually gnawing on my forearm to distract me from the pain of watching it. And people in the audience were actually laughing... the horror.

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:30 pm

MX7 wrote:
Ex-Cyber wrote:A remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still? Seriously? The social/political context doesn't translate at all.
WAR ON IRAK

I wanted to go and see this with g/f last night but she made me go to see four Christmases instead. At one point, I was actually gnawing on my forearm to distract me from the pain of watching it. And people in the audience were actually laughing... the horror.

Wow...I'm still going to say that you made out better than I did, though. I mean, I can usually find something entertaining about Vince Vaughn in a go-ahead-and-laugh-at-it-anyway kind of way, even if it's not the best material.

But no, it ain't about the war...it's about how we're not worshipping the planet we live on! Imagine two hours of ecological crap being served up by people who have no idea how to write a cohesive or engaging plot! IN IMAX!

DEL · Post by **DEL** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:31 pm

Thanks for the headz up boagman.

You can always tell beforehand that a movie sucks when the usual fanfare and pre-buzz is absent from the media. As with this one and too many others recently.

TLB · Post by **TLB** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:05 pm

Sweet avatar.

subcons · Post by **subcons** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:31 pm

Damn, I actually wanted to see this for some odd reason. Oh well, I'll just wait for a rip to pop up on bittorrent now. Thanks for saving me $10.

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:52 pm

MX7 wrote:I wanted to go and see this with g/f last night but she made me go to see four Christmases instead.

Talk about your rock and a hard place...

ROBOTRON · Post by **ROBOTRON** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:50 am

I loved the Black and White...this crap looks awful although I could be wrong. I will wait for this to hit HBO before I devote any time to it.

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 3:17 am

ROBOTRON wrote:I loved the Black and White...this crap looks awful although I could be wrong. I will wait for this to hit HBO before I devote any time to it.

You're not wrong, and save yourself some grief by not watching it on HBO, either. You'll thank me later!

Sly Cherry Chunks · Post by **Sly Cherry Chunks** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:23 am

Bolt's a pretty good film, eh saves all the Penny and doesnt afraid of anything.

The Bolt game was pretty enjoyable too although very easy and no replay value whatsoever.

Go see Bolt.

Dale · Post by **Dale** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:26 am

boagman wrote:
ROBOTRON wrote:I loved the Black and White...this crap looks awful although I could be wrong. I will wait for this to hit HBO before I devote any time to it.
You're not wrong, and save yourself some grief by not watching it on HBO, either. You'll thank me later!

You wonder how they fucked up such a simple concept. The original was such a classic and has one of the greatest quotes ever.

"The powers out! Call the Power company! The phones are Dead! Call the phone company! Sir The Phones are Dead!"

Kollision · Post by **Kollision** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 4:28 am

The original is clearly one of the best movies I've seen in my entire life.

You really scared me there about the remake, even more than that awful trailer where Keanu Reeves says "My body does" after being asked if he felt pain.

ROBOTRON · Post by **ROBOTRON** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 8:47 pm

boagman wrote:
ROBOTRON wrote:I loved the Black and White...this crap looks awful although I could be wrong. I will wait for this to hit HBO before I devote any time to it.
You're not wrong, and save yourself some grief by not watching it on HBO, either. You'll thank me later!

Wow Aaron its that bad??? We have simular taste so I trust your review.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Sat Dec 13, 2008 10:19 pm

Just seen it. It is absolutely appalling.

Someone nuke Hollywood, and do it fucking quick.

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:51 am

Skykid wrote:Someone nuke Keanu Reeves, and do it fucking quick.

Fixed

doctorx0079 · Post by **doctorx0079** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:29 am

When I first heard about this, I thought it was a bad idea, having seen the original like 5 times and enjoyed it every time. Then when I saw the trailers, it was just a bunch of stuff blowing up and collapsing, and no actual actors, not even any voices. I was all like "What were they THINKING?!?" like the AVGN. This isn't DTESS, it's Spielberg's WotW, Minus. And Spielberg's WotW kind of sucked to begin with.

"I mean seriously, what the fuck were they THINKING?!? It's ASS!!!!"

Turrican · Post by **Turrican** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:48 am

You ain't seen nuthing. If you thing this stuff is five time worse than its source, then just wait for Watchmen.

p.s. (you'll have to tell me because I don't plan to see that one)

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:32 am

ROBOTRON wrote:
boagman wrote:
ROBOTRON wrote:I loved the Black and White...this crap looks awful although I could be wrong. I will wait for this to hit HBO before I devote any time to it.
You're not wrong, and save yourself some grief by not watching it on HBO, either. You'll thank me later!
Wow Aaron its that bad??? We have simular taste so I trust your review.

I'll put it this way: while I would like my $8 back, yes, I honestly think that it's the *time* that I wasted watching this abomination that I'm more ticked off about.

Tell you what: when it comes out on HBO, start watching it, and then *as soon as* you start to think to yourself, "This really isn't worth my time...", then just turn it off and watch something else. Or a blank TV screen. That would have been better. Or electroshock therapy. Still better.

boagman · Post by **boagman** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:33 am

Skykid wrote:Just seen it. It is absolutely appalling.

Someone nuke Hollywood, and do it fucking quick.

Truly, the sign of someone who actually had to sit through it. I feel your pain, sir.

Blinx123 · Post by **Blinx123** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:46 am

My bro watched it over the weekend.

Oh boy, he and his girlfriend were both absolutely bored.

He told me to rather watch the original than this cheap, fx packed clash.

captpain · Post by **captpain** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:07 am

Tomorrow I am going to go piss around on the theater's Galaga/Ms. Pac Man machine for an hour or so and then go see it because I can't help myself.

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:50 am

captpain wrote:Tomorrow I am going to go piss around on the theater's Galaga/Ms. Pac Man machine for an hour or so and then go see it because I can't help myself.

Dude, what's wrong with you? If you don't spend the money on such an ass film, you could have so many more goes on Galaga instead! Logic!

DEL · Post by **DEL** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:56 pm

m3tall1ca wrote;

Sweet avatar.

Thanks, its the avatar ever.

I owe it all to Twiddle.

worstplayer · Post by **worstplayer** » Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:35 pm

I'm surprised nobody commented on LG product placement. It didn't even try to be subtle. One shot even consisted of nothing but LG cellphone showing big LG logo. I guess it isn't anything abnormal in today's movies, but that doesn't make it OK.

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Save your money: "The Day The Earth Stood Still"

Save your money: "The Day The Earth Stood Still"

My Name is BRUCE