You play the bad guy/gal.

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:02 am

It is very fun to read rubbish reviews on parents against video games. It is now your turn to play the role and take a stab at shmups. Shmups have been out of the light for a while.

I'll start with a fake one:

Hello Shumps forum,

Recently my child (who will remain nameless has joined) your computer webpage of video game players. I've noticed that he has started to act out in school and I firmly believe that it is all of the "Don Patchy" he has been playing. I've tried to be a good mother supplying him with coloring books and other creative outlets but he insists on playing these "shumps" as you call them. These games are nothing but voilence. "Players" don't realize that each one of those space ships or plains may contain a human being just like themselves. They are killing fathers and family for points. Recently little XXXXX pushed his brother off the slide and proudly exclaimed "100 points". The other day he was flailing around a some small chain at the hardware store at customers threatening to "chain them". I have no idea what this is all about, but this is not the behavior that I would expect from my 10 year old. It has come to my attention that these games are made by the Japanese people who obviously have no regard for reality as they seem to live in a gory comic book. Games like the Gradeus, Don Patchy, James Bond 007 and their like are not fit for anyone to play young or old. These shooters are detrimental to our rich moral fabric. In my day we were happy to sing or go outside. We recently sold his Dreamcast to a pawn shop and have noticed that he is much more willing to play as a normal child boy should. We found the characters in "Gun Bird 2" very offensively designed. We decided as a family that these kinds of games are not something we want in our house. We have also installed Norton on our computer to protect him against downloading "MAME" games. I think that my husband and I will have to block the internet from coming on our family computer.

Sincerely,
Concerned Parent

Lordstar · Post by **Lordstar** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:38 am

aaaah good job its fantasy then.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:48 am

Hello Shmups forum,

My Child has been raised as an American first and that means being a Free Markets Conservative second. It is now too much to ask that you mend your ways, but I will not (allow my child) to be unduly influenced by the miasma of liberalist socialist and pseudo-communist thought circulating through the tubes of your website, so we have taken to daily prayer sessions and two-way conversation about the priorities of the free market and against the scourges of socialist Sodom, the home of Shmups.

It is truly horrifying to see such rapant disregard of the economic might that makes our Nation so Great, but also edifying. May you all see the light that led our esteemed ancestors to pull themselves up out of filth, in their home nations, so long ago, and pull themselves across the Atlantic by their bootstrap.

God Forgoes All,
A Concerned Parent

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:52 am

And that had nothing to do with shmups.

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:29 am

Don Patchy

Octopod · Post by **Octopod** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:02 pm

Ed Oscuro wrote:Hello Shmups forum,

My Child has been raised as an American first and that means being a Free Markets Conservative second. It is now too much to ask that you mend your ways, but I will not (allow my child) to be unduly influenced by the miasma of liberalist socialist and pseudo-communist thought circulating through the tubes of your website, so we have taken to daily prayer sessions and two-way conversation about the priorities of the free market and against the scourges of socialist Sodom, the home of Shmups.

It is truly horrifying to see such rapant disregard of the economic might that makes our Nation so Great, but also edifying. May you all see the light that led our esteemed ancestors to pull themselves up out of filth, in their home nations, so long ago, and pull themselves across the Atlantic by their bootstrap.

God Forgoes All,
A Concerned Parent

Twiddle · Post by **Twiddle** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:53 pm

Ed Oscuro wrote:Hello Shmups forum,

My Child has been raised as an American first and that means being a Free Markets Conservative second. It is now too much to ask that you mend your ways, but I will not (allow my child) to be unduly influenced by the miasma of liberalist socialist and pseudo-communist thought circulating through the tubes of your website, so we have taken to daily prayer sessions and two-way conversation about the priorities of the free market and against the scourges of socialist Sodom, the home of Shmups.

It is truly horrifying to see such rapant disregard of the economic might that makes our Nation so Great, but also edifying. May you all see the light that led our esteemed ancestors to pull themselves up out of filth, in their home nations, so long ago, and pull themselves across the Atlantic by their bootstrap.

God Forgoes All,
A Concerned Parent

(｡◕‿‿◕｡)

mufunyo · Post by **mufunyo** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:28 pm

Udderdude wrote:
Don Patchy

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:59 pm

Ok, my turn ..

I overheard my son today talking about these "Shmups". It's clear to me this entire thing is on the drug addict/homosexual agenda, as Shmups is lingo for "Shoot-em-ups" .. clearly, they aren't shooting up little airplanes with tiny pixelated men inside! And I heard him talking about "Taint" mode. what kind of sick, vulgar things are happening to my poor baby?! You monsters should be ashamed of yourselves!

SFKhoa · Post by **SFKhoa** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:38 pm

My kid is permanently scared of bees now because you assholes exposed him to this "Hibachi" thing.

Pixel_Outlaw · Post by **Pixel_Outlaw** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:53 pm

I've stuck around just to see if there are any other concerned parents. The notion of a "taint" mode sends ice through my veins. Recently I have caught william playing one of his new Nintendo games called Gyroose. This game plays like a violent washing machine. Players take turns circling enemies and using guns and violence to solve problems. It seems that with each new Nintendo that comes out the games get more violent. The new Playstation 2 has some of these "shumps" on it and we think that Gradious V might be a bad game as well. I really wish that a company that claims to be a family company would stop making these violent "shmups". Nintendo needs to see the light here. My son threw his original Gradious game away along with Life Force (we think they might be both made by the same branch of Nintendo) after we decided as a family that it was a bad game for anyone to play. Each new playstation that comes out carries sequels to the bad games Like Gradious and we think that the big N needs to wise up and really become a family company.

This new generation doesn't like vegetables but they sure do act like them!

croikle · Post by **croikle** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:54 pm

SFKhoa wrote:assholes exposed

More proof of the homosexual agenda working through the members of this den of iniquity!

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:43 am

I heard the Bible specifically forbids to shoot your neighbor or your neighbor's plane. It's right around the parable where Jesus tells about the footprints in the sand and how he carries his children when they have problems. "Carry" being the key word. The Lord never meant for us to fly in planes and spaceships, his perfect eternal plan for us was to stay on the ground and walk, as evidenced by that lovely parable of the footprints.

Udderdude · Post by **Udderdude** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:51 am

I've discovered terrifying new things about the den of depravity known as Shmups. It seems people have been having "Shmup meets", which can be nothing less than homosexual drug orgies! "Press start" is a term for dropping acid, and I've also heard the term "Panic bombing" .. this can only be a term for suddenly defecating on your partner in the middle of an intense drug trip! THIS MUST BE STOPPED IMMEDIATLY!

ChurchOfSolipsism · Post by **ChurchOfSolipsism** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:39 pm

2.5 raised thumbs for the most retarded idea I have heard in quite some time (only drawback is that this concerned parent of yours is a little too knowledgeable: (s)he knows about MAME?!)