Amusingly bad reviews

[VideoGameRescue]

I personally think that more reviews are always better. It's good to get a wide spectrum of critical voices, and oftentimes you have to really search before you find a critic whom you totally click with. Keep doing your thing, VideoGameRescue. As long as you're thinking about and considering the strengths and weaknesses of a game, don't let anybody tell you you're completely wrong. Just listen to constructive criticism and see if there's a valid point, then try and incorporate that into your writing.

Yeah, I listen to what people say, especially you guys. I mean, I will admit that I am still very new at doing reviews (I have been doing them for less than a year). I know it is no excuse for bad wording in a review, and that is why when you guys catch me on it, which has happened more than once, I work hard to correct it. Sure, I have other people who watch these, but, honestly, you guys are my main audience. So if you guys do not approve, then I have more work to do. Yes, I see the point you guys made and will work on not using such heavy wording.

Honestly, the way I know how I am doing is when I get feedback, and you guys are very awesome at that and not afraid to give me feedback on my reviews, which is a great help to me

[spadgy]

Fair play to VideoGameRescue for engaging with everybody here on this one and considering people's comments rather than blowing up or going quiet.

I'm about to enter something hideous like my seventh year doing reviews for a UK national newspaper, and most weeks mine get ripped to pieces when they go online. It can sometimes be pretty demoralising and even hurtful, but you've the right attitude VideoGameRescue! Keep your head up, take it on board, and you're half way there! (I'm probably still only about a quarter of the way there! )

I bet I've done some bad ones in my time, but having the right approach to getting better is what gets you better. Few are born with a natural talent to review; it's a learned art. I just had to review Tearaway in 150 words for the paper and got it (in a friendly way) torn to pieces by my editor. Anybody who thinks they have mastered reviewing is probably wrong, because there's always more to learn and ways to improve.

Good luck!

EDIT: And I fear the day one of my reviews crops up in this thread (please don't go bloody looking!). My heart sinks preemptively every time it gets rekindled!

[VideoGameRescue]

Yeah, I randomly went in here for fun not expecting to see my review pop up. Sure, it made my heart drop a little to find out one of my reviews made it up here, but there was a reason for it. Yes, some users on here are very blunt (well, most of you guys are), and I love people that are like that. I knew exactly what problems you guys had with that review right away.

I mean, I love doing this. It is a great excuse to play at the very least 1 shmup a week. Some games are new to me, and some games I have sunk some good time in to. Some games I have played I probably won't review, even though I enjoy them, like Blue Wish Resurrection, which is an absolutely phenomenal game. Had I not started reviewing shmups, I would have never learned about Doujin STG's like Crimzon Clover (talk about good games, goodness that game is good and really fun) or even knew about places like Nyu Media.

Basically, I don't want to stop doing this because I had a badly worded review. I have gone too far down the rabbit hole and don't want to come back up. It is a long winded response, but that is a big reason why I wanted to engage the concerns instead of getting pissed or ignoring everybody. If there are concerns about what I say, I would rather address them, and, if I do something like use too heavy of words on something, then it is an issue and I need to address it and ensure I no longer do it

EDIT: I don't mind being corrected in what I do since I truly am passionate about this and want to continue doing it. Any and all feedback is great for me and helps me continue to improve. As long as I stay positive and continue to improve, then I only see that as a good thing

[Vetus]

The problem with Sine Mora is not that it's easy but that it's boring as hell, monotonous and incredibly slow-pace. Many other games are very easy like Kirby series, Super Paper Mario and Solatorobo yet they are very enjoyable and addictive (even thought some people have a different opinion about SPM because it's too easy for them even for a Super Mario game but don't pay attention to them). Even if you are a shmup newbie you can see that Sine Mora is not as great as it looks.

I actually didn't like Akai Katana much. But to say Sine Mora is better, in ANY way, is a joke.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sine_Mora#Reception
You're fucking shitting me, right? Sine Mora deserves at least 6/10 (maybe 7/10 if I wanted to be ultra generous). I'm pretty sure the reviews were mainly impressed from the nice graphics and the "Oh, there's a serious story with depth during the game. That's something rare for a shmup." fact. I don't try to sound elitist but these guys have absolutely no idea about shmup. Hell, I doubt if they even touched any other shmup at Xbox 360.

From the other hand shmup gems for Xbox360 like Trouble Witches Neon and WarTech: Senko no Ronde deserved more praise yet they got many average scores (good thing there were some magazines and sites who appreciated these games):
http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360 ... itches-neo!
http://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox-360 ... o-no-ronde
51/100 for Senko no Ronde from IGN? Ok, I knew that this site was shitty but THIS MUCH? No wonder some people called it "Playstation propaganda". But of course: if it was an average, flashy PS3 exclusive shmup it would get more positive scores.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhDJlX0oASY

Just wow.

Please do not fall for it, this guy is a huge troll.

You don't say! I haven't even bothered to watch this video but the title (Bad Games: Touhou games) and the description ("Underage girls and fake difficulty do not make games good.") screams "Troll" from miles away. Besides, who would take seriously a person who also consider Ocarina of Time as a bad game?

[KAI]

AWWW GOD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFKkCS4d9Mc
Crap from minute 0.

[ciox]

AWWW GOD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFKkCS4d9Mc
Shit from minute 0.

Just reviewin' some shmups during my budding panic attack.

[ACSeraph]

AWWW GOD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFKkCS4d9Mc
Crap from minute 0.

We should really lay off him though, he himself has said many times on this forum that that review was particularly crap. He posted it here anyhow directly asking us for constructive criticism, and while it's definitely pretty rough, he did make honest attempts to improve. For a relatively casual player to post his review on a site like this asking for criticism, and then to take it with grace, I think we should respect that and give him a break.

[mastermx]

Yes I just checked out that review now. And honestly the first half wasn't that bad. I was enjoying it. It was only when he started talking about freeplay and difficulty that things went a little haywire. If he did ask for constructive criticism and he does want to learn more about the genre, he deserves more respect than the big reviewers.

The reviews that infuriate me most are those posted on so called pro gaming websites. And yet they still can't grasp the point of a shmup or hardcore game. Because they have power in their reach. They influence public opinion and spread misconceptions on the genre. Then they give mediocre big budget games high ratings, and we end up in this hell hole we are in now. Surrounded by fellow gamers that just refuse to broaden their horizon.

[Ed Oscuro]

Amen to that. Support Your Local Game Reviewer (Sherrif)!

[KAI]

I hate that review cause:
"""Sprite based game"""
"SNK, they are experts doing sprites work, they could have done a better job"
"SNK" "SPRITES"

I don't care if he talks about credits, freeplay or shit like that (most of reviewers do the same thing), but at least open your eyes and do a little research before grabbing the microphone.

[ptoing]

Also all the really good people from the hayday of SNK have left before/after the Playmore thing.

[mastermx]

Haha sprite based yeah, he has a lot to learn. But he is spreading the shmup gospel :p

[spadgy]

Yep. He tried, and he came here asking for feedback and advice. Better that than somebody arrogantly thinking they know it all when they really miss the point. Could be worse!

[Mills]

EDGE magazine http://www.edge-online.com/
Edge magazine for making bulls*t sound technically pausible

[Oniros]

AWWW GOD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFKkCS4d9Mc
Crap from minute 0.

We should really lay off him though, he himself has said many times on this forum that that review was particularly crap. He posted it here anyhow directly asking us for constructive criticism, and while it's definitely pretty rough, he did make honest attempts to improve. For a relatively casual player to post his review on a site like this asking for criticism, and then to take it with grace, I think we should respect that and give him a break.

This. The videos may not be as good as the Bullet Heaven series but it's really commendable that he comes here for feedback. That alone puts him above, let's say, whoever the fuck reviewed Akai Katana on IGN.

[To Far Away Times]

AWWW GOD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFKkCS4d9Mc
Crap from minute 0.

We should really lay off him though, he himself has said many times on this forum that that review was particularly crap. He posted it here anyhow directly asking us for constructive criticism, and while it's definitely pretty rough, he did make honest attempts to improve. For a relatively casual player to post his review on a site like this asking for criticism, and then to take it with grace, I think we should respect that and give him a break.

Lots of things that I disagree with in his review (factoring free play into the difficulty and trying to objectively rate everything in the game), and he gets a few things wrong (sprite based?), but a review from someone without a ton of genre experience still provides some insight and is still worth something. Would this review factor into my opinion of the game? No, but if those are his feelings on the game he is welcome to it.

[Lord Satori]

One would think that it's common sense to not review a game belonging to a genre you have little experience with.

[dunpeal2064]

One would think that it's common sense to not review a game belonging to a genre you have little experience with.

Well, that reviewers opinion could defintiely be useful to someone who also has little experience with the genre, and is debating a purchase.

I doubt a newcomer wants to hear about port accuracy, and detailed scoring mechanics, when they are not even invested in the genre. A simple "I know nothing about shmups and don't play them, but I like this game" could get the genre a lot more attention than the reviews that we, as fans, would appreciate.

Instead of reducing the amount of reviews from less experienced players, we should be asking the more experienced players to offer their take on things as well.

[Squire Grooktook]

One would think that it's common sense to not review a game belonging to a genre you have little experience with.

Well, that reviewers opinion could defintiely be useful to someone who also has little experience with the genre, and is debating a purchase.

I doubt a newcomer wants to hear about port accuracy, and detailed scoring mechanics, when they are not even invested in the genre. A simple "I know nothing about shmups and don't play them, but I like this game" could get the genre a lot more attention than the reviews that we, as fans, would appreciate.

The problem than is that such reviewers potentially (and often) disregard excellent games for absurd reasons.

The classic "it has unlimited credits/free play so it's easy" is probably the worst example.

[dunpeal2064]

On the same token, though, someone new to the genre might not understand why they should have to restrict themselves to enjoy the game, even though it makes perfect sense to us.

Basically, show someone new to the genre an episode of STG Weekly, and they may walk away feeling overwhelmed, thinking "Man, how much homework do I need to do just to play one of these games?"

Show them a Classic Game Room review, which boils down to "this game is pretty and shooting stuff is fun", and for some people, that is going to be the first step that gets them into the genre.

There are upsides and downsides to almost every review, which is why I think the solution is to just have more reviewers. I got into the genre trying to clear Shiki 2 and Gradius V in the limited amount of credits available. If I had gone in the deep end, I may not have stuck around long enough to eventually appreciate the genre appropriately.

I will take whatever sells the genre. If its Sine Mora, Pewdiepie doing a Lets Play... I don't really care. In the long run, the players that find even the smallest enjoyment in these games may stick around to become "a shmupper"

Thats not to say stuff like STG Weekly isn't the greatest blessing ever, because it is. It just isn't going to appeal to everyone. If you've already decided you are going off the deep end, STG Weekly is perfect. If you are just curious, something more simple might do the trick, even if it isn't the most accurate review.

And, of course, I am also not saying that any bad review is fine. I'm just saying that someone does not have to be familiar with the genre to review it, as that person's perspective might actually be more relatable than ours is.

[Rupert H]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa_oPucC ... e=youtu.be

Painful Gamespot video. I didn't know it was possible to fit that much misinformation into a single hour.

[Acid King]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa_oPucC ... e=youtu.be

Painful Gamespot video. I didn't know it was possible to fit that much misinformation into a single hour.

I can't imagine sitting through a full hour of that.

[mastermx]

Omg they don't understand what tate mode is...

[KAI]

Losing a cred on the first 30 secs.
"not a danmaku game..."
"Sine Moran was a revolution......................................................"
"People pay FULL PRICE for these games..."
Love these pro-reviewers.

[Mortificator]

They're so proud of their coordinated outfits, they just have to superimpose themselves over game footage.

[Blinge]

I have the biggest boner in the world for Silent Hill 2, I think it is literally the greatest video game ever crafted by human hands. However I can also objectively give you a massive list of flaws that the game has. It's not perfect, it can't be perfect. But I can definitely give you reasons why I think it overcomes it's own flaws to the point that they don't matter.

Oh Seraph baby I had no idea! I ruv u man..
how can you just sit there eating PIZZA!?

[ACSeraph]

Oh Seraph baby I had no idea! I ruv u man..
how can you just sit there eating PIZZA!?

[KAI]

http://www.destructoid.com/review-neo-x ... .phtml#ext

Yup, there's a link to "THE HARDEST VIDEO GAME BOSS EVER!" video on this review.

[CloudyMusic]

The title of that review irks me a little, and it's not the only one I've seen like it.

So much of the publicity that ReDux and Neo Xyx have gotten seem to be due to the fact that they're for the Dreamcast, and nothing else. If they were released for any other platform, most people would hardly notice them, but because it's for the Dreamcast, sites are posting articles just to say "YO MAN, REMEMBER THE DREAMCAST? CHECK IT OUT, SOMEONE MADE A GAME FOR IT IN 2014! ISN'T THAT WEIRD? DREAMCAST! SEGA!" Then the comments section usually turns into an "I remember the Dreamcast, I'm so old, fuck these new consoles DREAMCAST FO LIFE" circlejerk. Coverage is better than no coverage, I guess, but man.

That said, the review seems somewhat reasonable and Destructoid has been pretty good, all told, about giving STGs publicity when no other site will.

[mastermx]

So much of the publicity that ReDux and Neo Xyx have gotten seem to be due to the fact that they're for the Dreamcast, and nothing else. If they were released for any other platform, they probably wouldn't get any attention at all, but because it's for the Dreamcast, sites are posting articles

That is very true. I wonder if the developers had that intention. It's genius marketing if you ask me. Reminds me of the devs that still make games for the Genesis. I have many nostalgic friends that will buy anything Genesis related. Sol pier was Rpg for the genesis if I remember that got really good feedback. Those same devs are also now making the ultimate Genesis beat em up, I think it was called Project Y. Releasing on retro systems definitely gets games good exposure.