Bad Kickstarters - Millionaire Mom and Gender Bender Edition

[BryanM]

There are kickstarters that are pretty rad, such as the new box of OGRE. There are some that are pretty debatable. But for some of us, that isn't what we come to the internet to see. Oh no. We want to see train wrecks, and thus. This thread.

It is important to me that you know about this kickstarter. That you gaze deeply, longingly into its deep depths.

A man, named Ellwood Bartlett, won the lottery and acquired a large pile of currency. In order to "gauge interest", he started a KS to get some of your money. For a video game? Oh no. A MMORPG, of course. Does he have any experience or a scrap of useful design sense? Or of how to create a sales pitch?

I think it speaks for itself. At least read the FAQ at the end. Making an MMO is as easy as licensing a pizza franchise.

It is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in my life.

109 backers. At a $200 average per. People really will buy a bag of dog poo.

[Specineff]

"A MMORPG Game built by gamer's, for gamer's and funded by gamer's."

By gamer's WHAT?

Y U NO LEARN BETTER GRAMMAR?

All "I'm a foreigner and I knew how to write that correctly since Junior High in Mexico" criticism aside, that idea deserved a kick to each of the originator's testicles. The audacity.

[Daigohji]

"I am an idea man"

Ideas are cheap. Despite that, this guy's ideas petered out after, "I'mma do generic fantasy with elves 'n' dwarves 'n' shit." The only people I've ever known who call themselves 'ideas men' are the ones too clueless to know the worn-out cliches of their intended market, and too fucking lazy to do the 10,000 hours of work it takes to master a skill.

[BryanM]

Despite that, this guy's ideas petered out after, "I'mma do generic fantasy with elves 'n' dwarves 'n' shit."

I think there are hooker bots.

[idchappy]

He should just put his own money in it

[BulletMagnet]

He should just put his own money in it

Pfft, please. Rich people haven't been spending their own money on anything for ages now. That's how they're rich.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

The best way to describe this MMORPG is think of all the good things in Second life, WoW, Rift, SWTOR

Those are rather different games, and Second Life isn't really an MMORPG - it's more of a glorified avatar/world creator and chat client.

Are you tired of games that do not have everything you want? I know I am. For example: Guild Banks. Who creates a game but does not give you access to the bank right away?

This is shittily worded. Are you saying all players should start with an actual Guild? A lot of games now start you with item banks to store/stash inventory (Phantasy Star Online is quite an early game and let you do that!). Or are you saying you should be able to join a guild an immediately get access to everything owned in the guild, with no sort of guild structure to prevent newbies or tools from joining and looting the stores?

How exactly is full-blown avatar creation supposed to make a game good? It'd be weird playing a game with drastically different looking artwork styles all over the place and taking it seriously, you don't make a game then throw in a bajillion different artistic styles all over the place, because it tends to look awful.

Leveling: Level caps will not exist. As you grow in levels, so will your game content. Your world will not be limited.

Why not promise the moon and the stars while you're at it? Someone needs to generate game content, and no game is going to be constantly growing even if it's player made, as player interest always dwindles eventually. Besides, just because a game has player made content doesn't make it good content, there's a huge difference between pumping out garbage and actually putting effort into new stuff.

tl;dr

ranting because it's stupid

[Ed Oscuro]

Who creates a game but does not give you access to the bank right away?

watch out, we gotta player on our hands!

[BryanM]

Ok, for this week we take notice of two very special, splendid projects.

First, we have Indie Gogogoggo darling Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme. You should go ahead and enjoy that link. I made it just for you. Let it seep into your pores.

Then we have another of the "exploitive asshole millionaire" people. In this case, it was a successful gambit (as was inevitable after so many other failures of hers. The only way to lose is to give up people, let that be a life lesson) as it hit the current begathon "gurl power!" fad, as well as having some "d'aw, kiiiiids" mojo to it.

How did she do it? I'll tells ya how she did it - Send mah nine year old daughter to RPG Maker Camp. Cliffs:

* Millionaire mother wants strangers to pay $800+ for larva to go to summer camp. Assuming it's not a scam.

* Mother clearly wrote the sales pitch by herself, unless you want to believe 9 year olds would write sentences like "It's no secret there aren't enough females in STEM professions so part of my Kickstarter campaign is aimed at raising awareness and getting girls thinking about careers in technology at an early age."

I could have sworn there was a stretch goal where her brothers had to stand in front of a camera and apologize for being such dicks; I'ma not going to google it though because screw it.

There have been Internet Whispers from people claiming to work at the camp in question, that say maybe an hour each day is spent in front of computers and the rest of the day is kicking around a soccer ball outside. If so, it's kind of like a scam within a scam, a scamception if you will.

The meta overtones of the proposed game in question kind of creeps me out too, but that's probably just me because I'm a sensitive viking bastard.

[null1024]

Ok, for this week we take notice of two very special, splendid projects.

First, we have Indie Gogogoggo darling Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme. You should go ahead and enjoy that link. I made it just for you. Let it seep into your pores.

I'd have backed the shit out of that if it was a fighting game.

Actually, in all seriousness, I don't even. Like, I dunno what kind of thing I saw.
I'm going to need to get a deep clean to get this out of my pores.

[Skub]

109 backers. At a $200 average per. People really will buy a bag of dog poo.

If you look at the backer benefits, you will see that two people have donated at least $10,000, which either means people are crazy, or it's fake backer support generated by the people who made the kickstarter.

First, we have Indie Gogogoggo darling Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme. You should go ahead and enjoy that link. I made it just for you. Let it seep into your pores.

real talk, the social justice lgbtq community will fund anything that even remotely may make their demographic look less bad, including sub-par artists, terrible writers, and anything queer that represents queers

[Bananamatic]

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardgnw/thera

[brentsg]

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardgnw/thera

Throw in some traps and loli stuff and you've got a game.

[Mischief Maker]

"I am an idea man"

Ideas are cheap. Despite that, this guy's ideas petered out after, "I'mma do generic fantasy with elves 'n' dwarves 'n' shit." The only people I've ever known who call themselves 'ideas men' are the ones too clueless to know the worn-out cliches of their intended market, and too fucking lazy to do the 10,000 hours of work it takes to master a skill.

You're being too generous.

His idea was:

The best way to describe this MMORPG is think of all the good things in Second life, WoW, Rift, SWTOR all rolled up into one game.

In other words, "My idea is to copy the ideas behind all these these other successful products."

I've got a crazy idea. Open your minds for a moment. I'm thinking of opening a restaurant, near a college campus, that sells pizza, and get ready for this... AFTER bar time! I know, I'm a genius. Now go make it happen while I play MMORPGs and eat like the guy in Seven.

[Bananamatic]

Second Life

Can you spawn dongs to annoy people and defecate during furry gatherings then?