One Linerz & VERY Short Joke Thread

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:48 pm

A man has just returned from work and is standing with his arms crossed disapprovingly as he looks at the exterior of his house and the poor care with which the painter who he hired for the assignment had used. The painter is scolded, and rightfully so and he replies only by telling him "if you think this looks bad just wait till you see what I did to your children."

lol I am doing it right?

Oh and the baby in the microwave one? DUMB!

Yeah probably my least favorite in the Honey I Did Something Bad To Kids series.

lol another pedo joke?

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:50 pm

Yes, u r

This isn't a joke but I think the guy who buried a Red Sox jersey under Yankee Stadium is hilarious, especially his comment for Hank Steinbrenner

Zebra Airforce · Post by **Zebra Airforce** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:51 pm

No one asked you to post squeaky clean jokes. Pedo jokes are disgusting no matter how ya slice it.
Oh and the baby in the microwave one? DUMB! Think before you post next time PLEASE!

Here's a good one:

What's black and blue and red all over? My penis.

black flag nc · Post by **black flag nc** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:00 am

Ed Oscuro wrote:Yes, u r

This isn't a joke but I think the guy who buried a Red Sox jersey under Yankee Stadium is hilarious, especially his comment for Hank Steinbrenner

They're auctioning that jersey off on Ebay. It's fetching over $65,000 so far. That guy should have kept his mouth shut till opening day next season. Damn the Yankees!

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Sun May 04, 2008 8:56 pm

Did you hear about the two queer judges who tried each other?

TLB · Post by **TLB** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:32 am

One time YOUR MOM lololol

I like snacks.

PLASMO is GOD

I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri rock. I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Did anyone see my lost carrier?

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT!

BIL · Post by **BIL** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:38 am

WHY DID THE BLIND PROCTOLOGIST GET FIRED?

HE COULDN'T SEE SHIT!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Coop · Post by **The Coop** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:39 am

Did you hear the one about the blind skunk that fell in love with a fart?

What do you call pickled bread? Dill dough.

What's the square root of 69? 8 something.

TLB · Post by **TLB** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:03 am

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

Super Laydock · Post by **Super Laydock** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 6:56 pm

Damocles wrote:A baby seal walks into a club.

Better late than never...

KAI · Post by **KAI** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:10 pm

I'm not sure if this joke is going to work translated in english, but lets try:

There were 2 hookers riding a bike, and your mom fell off.

Argentine sense of humor.

MOSQUITO FIGHTER · Post by **MOSQUITO FIGHTER** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:08 pm

These girl scout cookies are no good. They don't even taste like real girl scouts.

null1024 · Post by **null1024** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 2:41 am

KAI wrote:I'm not sure if this joke is going to work translated in english, but lets try:

There were 2 hookers riding a bike, and your mom fell off.

Argentine sense of humor.

I got it, gave me a chuckle.

Drum · Post by **Drum** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:35 am

What is twelve inches long, purple and makes women scream?

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

gct · Post by **gct** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 11:09 pm

Zebra Airforce wrote:Here's a good one:

What's black and blue and red all over? My penis.

Did you just make that up? Because in that case, "My penis" can just be used as the answer to any stupid question, e.g. "What looks like broccoli but tastes like fish?"

opt2not · Post by **opt2not** » Sat Sep 29, 2012 12:06 am

What did the gay-guy say to his penis, before heading out for a night of partying?

..."let's get shit-faced tonight!".

Nate · Post by **Nate** » Sat Sep 29, 2012 5:07 am

Knock-knock!

Who's there?

"Socks"

Socks who?

Socks I know, but you gotta get up and answer the door!

or...?

What's the difference between an epileptic corn-husker and a hooker with diarrhea?

The corn-husker "shucks between fits".

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Sat Sep 29, 2012 2:31 pm

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

...

Because it was dead.

powersoul · Post by **powersoul** » Sat Sep 29, 2012 5:44 pm

Programmers don't die, they simply log off.

BPzeBanshee · Post by **BPzeBanshee** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 1:07 pm

I was going to go to a clairvoyant's meeting today, but the organisers cancelled it due to unforseen circumstances.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 1:31 pm

What does a moped and a fat girl have him common?

They're both fun to ride until your mates see you.

rancor · Post by **rancor** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 1:39 pm

Q: What did one guy say to the other guy sitting at the gay bar?

A: Mind if I push your stool in?

Ruldra · Post by **Ruldra** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 2:04 pm

Crocs are like getting a blowjob from a dude: they feel pretty good, until you look down and realize you're gay.

So wrong, but I burst out laughing when I saw this on the net months ago.

Mischief Maker · Post by **Mischief Maker** » Sun Sep 30, 2012 3:23 pm

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

...

She didn't have any arms.

emphatic · Post by **emphatic** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:10 pm

mesh control · Post by **mesh control** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:53 pm

WHAT'S THE LEADING CAUSE OF PEDOPHILIA?

CUTE TEENAGERS.

LOL

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:29 am

Women's Rights.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:30 am

what's the best thing about dating twenty nine year olds?
If one gets a way you still got 19 left.

BIL · Post by **BIL** » Thu Oct 04, 2012 11:34 am

I like my women like I like my bedroom walls! COVERED IN SHIT

ps

I like my women like I like my pets! DEAD

MX7 · Post by **MX7** » Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:12 pm

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

AIDS

shmups.system11.org

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