Your First Bad Video Game

[MOSQUITO FIGHTER]

Do you remember your first bad video game? I do, mine was Total Recall on the NES. That damn midget.

[guyot]

An ms-dos port of the original Street Fighter game.

so bad

[burgerkingdiamond]

Oh man there are a lot of stinkers for the NES.

I bought Ghost's N Goblin's and returned it after playing for about 1/2 hour and just getting raped by that first Red Devil on the first level. I was absolutely disgusted.

Later some friends showed me that it actually is playable and it ended up being one of my favorites although it is still a bitch to play and has a lot of flaws.

[Jeneki]

Hmm, probably Canyon Bomber on 2600.

[mrsmiley381]

The Christmas when I got my Super Nintendo is the Christmas I got Pac-Man 2. It's bad, but it a sort of fun way.

About a decade later I got Deadly Towers for fifty cents. I'm not sure I've ever felt so ripped off.

[BIL]

As far as games I bought (played plenty of shitty rentals in the 8 and 16-bit eras), probably Zero Tolerance (Genesis). Okay at the time, if you had no gaming PC, but it's just not a good game.

[Giest118]

Obitus. To this day I have no idea what that game was even supposed to be.

[nZero]

I got Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout for the NES from my grandmother for Christmas one year... yikes.

[Vexorg]

Back in the post-crash era, my parents bought us an Atari 2600, along with a big load of cheap shovelware. Most of them weren't memorable enough to note, but one I did recall was called Tax Avoiders. It was pretty terrible, but I understand the cart is supposed to be reasonably rare now. Ironically, it was an IRS employee who created the game. Video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TOiahDYLV4

[TransatlanticFoe]

I was going to put The Cyber Shinobi for the Master System but then I remembered I got Shadow of the Beast first. Only because it was filler in a 3 pack from Toys R Us.

I do not know what was going through the minds of the people who created this.

* You start the game and are meant to go left. If you go right, you struggle through a bunch of monsters only to find a locked castle (it's really fucking hard without the powerup you get if you go left from the start). Then when you try to go back again, you face the same shit
* There is a potion which kills you instantly
* If you miss a particular item, a segment of the game becomes unplayable - but you can't go back to get it, so you have to start again
* If you use the wrong key at any point in the game, it's gone forever and you have to start again (because see above)

It actually got really good scores. I have absolutely no idea why.

[Despatche]

Gonna be boring this time: some useless NES Fisher-Price game that happened to be with all the other games.

The Cyber Shinobi is alright, it's no worse than those 8-bit Sonic games.

The Christmas when I got my Super Nintendo is the Christmas I got Pac-Man 2. It's bad, but it a sort of fun way.

What's so bad about Pac-Man 2, exactly?

[Udderdude]

The first bad game I can really remember realizing it's crap was Bad Dudes on the NES. Holy fuck, that was such an atrocious port.

[Ruldra]

I was going to put The Cyber Shinobi for the Master System but then I remembered I got Shadow of the Beast first. Only because it was filler in a 3 pack from Toys R Us.

I do not know what was going through the minds of the people who created this.

* You start the game and are meant to go left. If you go right, you struggle through a bunch of monsters only to find a locked castle (it's really fucking hard without the powerup you get if you go left from the start). Then when you try to go back again, you face the same shit
* There is a potion which kills you instantly
* If you miss a particular item, a segment of the game becomes unplayable - but you can't go back to get it, so you have to start again
* If you use the wrong key at any point in the game, it's gone forever and you have to start again (because see above)

It actually got really good scores. I have absolutely no idea why.

You can't even get inside the castle if you don't get the key by going left at the start. And not only keys but important items like the jetpack, if you use them at the wrong time they vanish from your inventory forever and the game becomes unwinnable. When you get to the castle you're supposed to have 2 keys with you. Use the wrong one and you have to start over.

I also recall a couple of situations where you get an instant gameover regardless of number of lives left. And the last boss kills you in a single hit.

Despite everything, I still enjoyed the game and managed to beat it eventually (the SMS version).

[Krimzon Kitzune]

Mortal Kombat (SNES).

No Blood. No Guts. No fun. It didn't even feel anything like the arcade game for some reason. The Genesis remedied the violence problem via code, but it looked, sounded,and played even WORSE than the SNES port.

[rancor]

Due to having two older brothers my family had a massive 2600 cart collection, and E.T. was every bit as bad as you've heard it is. To this day none of us have any idea as to what the point of that game was, or even how to complete a single objective. Collision detection on that game was so bad that on the screen with the pits you could fall down into, often time it was completely random if you would fall inside. Once you did, it was practically game over due to the time limit and difficulty escaping. Maximum frustration. I honestly can't believe we played it for as long as we did.. I think we all figured that there was some sort of genius behind it that we just couldn't crack. It was comforting to hear all these years later that it really was just terrible. I never want to see that game again.

[JBC]

Top Gun for NES. What a piece of garbage.

It's impossible to land the god damned plane, and almost impossible to copulate with the refuel jet. To top that off you have to hear the soul crushing Top Gun theme and think about how much Tom Cruise sucks while you play it. I seem to remember that you are given the exact amount of lives you'll need to beat the game IF you can land the plane once, which will never fucking happen. Top Gun the movie sucks, Top Gun the game sucks, Tom Cruise sucks, Kenny Loggins really fucking sucks, and I'd like that whole chunk of my childhood refunded to me plz.

Oh I did finally beat it though, and I remember I smashed the cartridge against the wall as soon as I was done.

[blackoak]

Top Gun for NES. What a piece of garbage.

Haha. I came to this thread to write just that. My first three games were Top Gun, Life Force, and Millipede... can you guess which one I played?

[shmuppyLove]

Superman for the NES.

Bought it expecting it to be like the arcade game.

Protip: It's not. Not even in the slightest.

[Fudoh]

Urban Champion on NES.

In times where I only got a new game every 1-2 months, Urban Champion really sucked.

[Damocles]

Destination Earthstar for the NES. I still feel bad for having my father buy that from a pawn shop.

[BareKnuckleRoo]

I can think of a lot of bad C64 games, but since my dad owned them I didn't feel ripped off or anything. Most of my NES as a kid were a bulk collection that I got lucky enough to own (someone who didn't want them sold 'em in bulk), and I was lucky enough that I didn't really buy anything that was shit, at least not for the NES.

The first video game I felt truly ripped off by though was Double Dragon V: The Shadow Falls for the SNES. Not only was it not a beat 'em up like I expected (I bought it used), it was horrible even by crappy Street Fighter clone standards. Just look at this bullshit.

What's so bad about Pac-Man 2, exactly?

It's like a point-and-click style adventure game (think Microprose), except you do everything by either shooting at stuff with a slingshot or telling Pac-Man to look in a direction. The problem is controlling him is more of a pain and really the hardest part of the game because Pac-Man's mood affects how responsive he is (as opposed to the solving of puzzles or the few action sequences).

On the plus side, there's good ports of both the original arcade Pac-Man as well as unlockable Ms. Pac-Man (SNES version) or Pac Jr. (Genesis version) you can play in-game at the arcade center.

[BIL]

^God damn, (almost) everything I hated about mid-90s console gaming in one video. Shitty generic fighter + cartoon license + western-made SFII clone? Ret's go! As soon as the guy clicked on "dossiers" I felt a bit sick but kept watching anyway.

[opt2not]

^God damn, (almost) everything I hated about mid-90s console gaming in one video. Shitty generic fighter + cartoon license + western-made SFII clone? Ret's go! As soon as the guy clicked on "dossiers" I felt a bit sick but kept watching anyway.

Awww, I kinda liked TMNT:Tournament Fighters...

[TrevHead (TVR)]

I can think of a lot of bad C64 games

I was just thinking the same but with the spectrum +2 I had as a kid. (As others have mentioned) Later arcade conversion of beat em ups always spring to mind, especially since most arcade conversion took forever to load in with tape. Imo much of what made them bad was having only one button, that's why pre-SF2 conversions like Yie Arr Kung Fu was quite fun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OszbHJZr ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2nEFAI-F10

There were tons of shitty 8bit games but we tend to forget about them and remember only the good games

[BareKnuckleRoo]

Later arcade conversion of beat em ups always spring to mind, especially since most arcade conversion took forever to load in with tape. Imo much of what made them bad was having only one button, that's why pre-SF2 conversions like Yie Arr Kung Fu was quite fun

Yeah, they really tried to cram a bunch of conversions onto consoles like the C64 or Spectrum that simply couldn't play them the way they were intended. On the plus side, there's a number of good games that were designed with the console's capabilities in mind. I loved C64 games like Ghettoblaster or Mr. Robot, and even a few good console ports like Commando, as well as the not-faithful but still fun Outrun port.

[shmuppyLove]

^God damn, (almost) everything I hated about mid-90s console gaming in one video. Shitty generic fighter + cartoon license + western-made SFII clone? Ret's go! As soon as the guy clicked on "dossiers" I felt a bit sick but kept watching anyway.

SHAQ-FU

[burgerkingdiamond]

Top Gun for NES. What a piece of garbage.

It's impossible to land the god damned plane, and almost impossible to copulate with the refuel jet. To top that off you have to hear the soul crushing Top Gun theme and think about how much Tom Cruise sucks while you play it. I seem to remember that you are given the exact amount of lives you'll need to beat the game IF you can land the plane once, which will never fucking happen. Top Gun the movie sucks, Top Gun the game sucks, Tom Cruise sucks, Kenny Loggins really fucking sucks, and I'd like that whole chunk of my childhood refunded to me plz.

Oh I did finally beat it though, and I remember I smashed the cartridge against the wall as soon as I was done.

+1 for beating the game and triumphantly smashing it through your drywall

-1 for dissing Mr. Kenny Fucking Loggins

[drauch]

Back to the Future 3 for the Sega Genesis. First level is impossible.

[DragonInstall]

When I was younger I was a lot more patient and liked most games for what they were worth. The only game I remember thinking, man this game is pretty bad was RoadRunner Death Valley Rally.

I got this shit as a gift and it's just terrible. Graphics are ok and colorful, but the music is dumb, the controls are really bad, the stage designs are terrible, and everything you do requires a leap of faith(no map, small screen, and pitfalls everywhere). The game is extremely difficult because of this, which is surprising since it seems like it was designed for kids.

As a kid I some how managed to make it to the last area. I think 5-1 and the game has like 5-3 so I was pretty close. Since the game has no save or password, you die you have to go all the way back... I tried really hard to beat this game, since I always beat every game I got as a kid. Could not do it no matter what....

Well out of curiosity I got the rom and beat this shit recently. I have no idea how anyone could beat this game legitimately without save states. Just way too annoying and difficult to play, especially the last few levels.

[BIL]

Awww, I kinda liked TMNT:Tournament Fighters...

Konami along with Capcom was a member of the very exclusive Licensed Games That Don't Suck Ass club.