Favorite funny shmup Engrish/quotes

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 21, 2005 10:51 pm

Super Nova:

A HUGE BATTLESHIP
"MUDY CRYSTAL"
IS APPROACHING FAST

Funny, the instruction booklet refers to him as "Muddy Crystal." Also, there are various other inconsistencies I find...such as, the game refers to the enemy as "Belser" and the booklet refers to it as "Pelsar". The rest of the instruction booklet is also written in Engrish. Here is a quote from page 12:

"Near the end of each zone, a very large enemy battle cruiser awaits you. When you destroy it, your are cleared for your next assignment."

Another one:

"But in the minds of most people, war has become a silly idea of the ancients..."

Here's another one, which makes sense for the most part, but the wording just sounds funny:

"If you have more fighters available, this will put you back in the zone, nearer the beginning than before, at Force 1 strength."

I really like Metal Black, though I have to admit that it also has its share of Engrish. The introduction is a complete marathon of violations to the English language.

"A phantom companion star which has suddenly appeared on the Jupiter's orbit affected the asteroids,dropping a rain of meteorites to the Earth"

Well, at least one comma has suddenly appeared on the sentence's orbit. Apparently it had to fight and claw its way to get there.

"At the same time, the Earth's civilization was at a crisis of being on the verge of collapse by receiving the invasion of foreign intellegental lives"

I don't know what "intellegental lives" are, but I guarantee you that the one who wrote/translated that sentence was not one of them. If Earth was really being invaded by aliens, and this narrator was the first example of human intelligence they came across, no wonder why they proceeded with the invasion of foreign intellegental lives. No wonder why the Earth's civilization was at a crisis of being on the verge of collapse.

"It was believed that they came flying from the sky area of nemesis"

Well, we're making some progress. It gets better:

"They had a special ability of combined with the Earth's civilization."

Very special indeed...as in the special school bus type...

"The beam was the thing which made good use of energy. Scientists called is as Newalone."

Well, at least they're making good use of something, if not the English language.

"The Earth's government made a compromise called peace."

I can't help but just laugh at that. You've got to just love the messages that mid 90's video games were sending to children at the time. PEACE IS BAD! WAR IS GOOD! BURN THE TREATY! NUKE CANADA! Okay I need to settle down.

"And the government concealed newly produced machines "Black Fly" having the same ability as their's into darkness.

Only in a video game, could the FBI successfully cover up something.

"The Earth died, and it was about to enter upon silence times"

Well, you're usually pretty "silence" when you're dead.

I know it's unrelated, but the US Mega Man games are also full of Engrish and spelling inconsistencies.

Tar-Palantir · Post by **Tar-Palantir** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:58 pm

Vasara 2

!

"Go away, you dolt! I'll give it to you."
"I am so sorry. I cannot allow you to live make you stay alive"
"I told you the world wouldn't change even kill Nobunaga."
"Come...come!"
"Without the Oda clan, this corrupt society would be reduced to chaos! if you are not satisfied with such, then you must die. My sword is starving for blood!"
"You should be ashamed of your ignorance!"
"Hey! Come on! What are you waiting for?"
"If you insistently disobey me, you will feel the sharp point of my spear ♥"
"Don't hold it against me OK?"
"They have already arrived?"
"If only I could defeat you here! Here I go!"
"Fine. It's a rare luck!"
"Heyyyyy! Prepare yourself for my attack!!"
"So, are you prepared to die yet? Come on, attack me!"
"Hey. What gives you the absurd notion that you can kill the Lord?"
"Oh, how I love a strong man ♥ Come on. Come over here!"

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:52 pm

Tar-Palantir wrote:"If you insistently disobey me, you will feel the sharp point of my spear ♥"

Heh, if you know which boss that is, the quote is even MORE "just plain wrong."

Icecap Veiwin · Post by **Icecap Veiwin** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:14 pm

I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO MY PALACE AND MUNCH <b>SWEET TACOS!!!</b> - Memory, Twinkle Star Sprites

This always cracks me up. That, and "rawket lawunchaa."

Elixir · Post by **Elixir** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:50 pm

I never thought I'd be frying over a jungle.

Dewclaw · Post by **Dewclaw** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:36 pm

Nuke wrote:

I just got this board a while ago and completely cracked up at the intro.

They Are The TOUGH BOUNTY HUNTERS!

Fighter17 · Post by **Fighter17** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:51 pm

Hire some translators you guys in Japan!

zinger · Post by **zinger** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:47 pm

Guest: YES! Metal Black has my favourite engrish intro ever!

I actually wrote the whole thing down for a previous thread much like this one. Enjoy

2042 A.D.
A PHANTOM COMPANION STAR
WHICH HAS SUDDENLY APPEARED ON THE
JUPITER'S ORBIT AFFECTED THE
ASTEROIDS, DROPPING A RAIN OF
METEORITES TO THE EARTH.

AT THE SAME TIME,
THE EARTHS' CIVILIZATION WAS AT
A CRISIS OF BEING ON THE VERGE OF
COLLAPSE BY RECEIVING THE INVASION
OF FOREIGN INTELLIGENTAL LIVES.

IT WAS BELIEVED THAT
THEY CAME FLYING FROM THE SKY
AREA OF NEMESIS...

WARNING
EARTH'S NATIONAL SECURITY INFORMATION
17TH MARCH, 2052

THEY HAD A SPECIAL
ABILITY OF
COMBINED WITH THE
EARTH'S CIVILIZATION.
THE EARTH'S MILITARY
FORCE WAS DEFEATED
BY THEIR OVERWHELMING
BEAM ARMS.

THE BEAM WAS THE
THING WHICH MADE
GOOD USE OF ENERGY
SCIENTISTS CALLED IT

AS 'NEWALONE'.

TOP SECRET
EYES ONLY - COPY ONE OF ONE
SPECIAL CLASSIFIED EXECUTIVE
ORDER #033944
PROJECT METAL BLACK:
A PERMANENT FREEZE

THE EARTH'S GOVERNMENT
MADE A COMPROMISE
CALLED PEACE.
AND THE GOVERNMENT
CONCEALED NEWLY
PRODUCED MACHINES
'BLACK FLY'
HAVING THE SAME
ABILITY AS THEIR'S
INTO DARKNESS.

THE EARTH DIED,
AND IT WAS TO ENTER UPON
SILENCE TIMES...

METAL BLACK

...and oh. The Space Bomber intro was hilarious!

Post by **Icarus** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:02 am

YOU CANNOT STOP ME WITH PARAMECIUM ALONE!

Monkey_Man · Post by **Monkey_Man** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:43 am

Hellsinker:
The game has been over
An awesome prayer is conflict with us... keep your Dignity.

EveryExtend (manual):
Select replay data to see wonderful replays!
Control a UCHU- guided bomb,destory all UCHU- enemies!!
Blow up self,involve enemies to destory.
Before missing all stock,earn score to EXTEND!(Stock bonus)
This is UCHU- action game to earn score.
Appearance is 3D,truth is 2D. It's 'EveryExtend'!
One day suddenly,you receive 12 UCHU- guided bombs. What do you do?
No thank you. No increase so much!
Less time to play. Soon the game is over.so No thanks.
Therefore I can't use so much.
Oh, no more. To make a sortie,give me a turn. Here.
Why do you increase!? No more increse. No more!
I can't make full use. Too many! Too many! Give me a turn.
Ohhh! Ohh ! Why increase SO MORE? It becomes a terrible thing!
How many bombs!? No! No! I CAN'T USE!
Do you listen? No more! Why increase! NO! NO!
Who in the world use so many bombs! No more. Already enough!
Hey,PLEASE no increase! You listen!?
NO NO MORE! STOP STOP! No increase! It's enough!
STOP! STOP NOW! NO! NO! NO INCREASE! NO MORE!
What are you doing!? Increase,no increase,or WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
HEY! Really what are you doing!? Soon it's overflow! Terrible!
NO MORE! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
* Extend condition a tittle harder
Enemies. They appear from the edge of screen.
Attention to crash near the edge.
In this case,this is a UCHU- enegy capsule(green item).
Basicly gain and gain items,better.
Gain many continuously!! Coooooooool score!
Middle-sized enemy and boss with orenge aura is MUTEKI(you can't damege!)Attention!!
With more time,you can gain MORE SCORE!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Know score system to earn more score.

(Q)What means 'UCHU-'?
(A)Terrible. UCHU- Terrible. Really terrible, So Terrible.
UCHU- Terrible.
First large. Already it's not better to say it 'large'. 'VERY VERY LARGE'
As it said 'large',
'Hmmm.. About 20 Tokyo Dome?'
no! no! It's not that level!!
Anyhow INFINITY! Coooooooooooool!! It can't be measured by units! Over hectare,kilometer,and other units!! INFINITY! VERY VERY LARGE!!!
(omit)
Do the best!

yyr · Post by **yyr** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 1:39 am

Elixir wrote:I never thought I'd be frying over a jungle.

Damn, ya beat me to it.

Although I've got one of my own:

kingmobster · Post by **kingmobster** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:46 pm

The text before the level 5 boss in Blazing Star is good:

SOMETHING WAKES THE NOISE UP!

zinger · Post by **zinger** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:51 pm

kingmobster wrote:The text before the level 5 boss in Blazing Star is good:

SOMETHING WAKES THE NOISE UP!

Yeah, everything in BS is good. "HEY POOR PLAYER!"

Platypus[gEc] · Post by **Platypus[gEc]** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:04 pm

Icarus wrote:YOU CANNOT STOP ME WITH PARAMECIUM ALONE!

I'll have to take your word for that ...

Fighter17 · Post by **Fighter17** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:18 pm

My god, just reading Engjish is just nuts.

Darkcomet72 · Post by **Darkcomet72** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:49 am

"I feel rust in my neck. Where is my WD-50? "

But my favorite engrish is not from a shmup at all:

"Get the heck out of here, you nerd!"

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 1:03 am

^^^ Um... those don't sound engrish-y to me.

zaphod · Post by **zaphod** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 1:49 am

The first one is definitely Engrish. (they meant wd-40)but the seocd one isn't engrish, it's censorship (laugh).

Blazing star is so full of ENgrish it's very ffunny, though (laugh)

YOU FAIL IT!
YOUR SKILL IS NOT ENOUGH!
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
BYE BYE!

StorminNorman · Post by **StorminNorman** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:02 pm

I can't believe this thread got this far without someone mentioning "BE ATTITUDE FOR GAINS" from Radiant Silvergun.

Not to mention all the "tips" for the bosses.

howmuchkeefe · Post by **howmuchkeefe** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 5:56 pm

I've been getting my engrish hot and fresh from Castle Shikigami 2 of late. This one always cracks me up:

*in scratchy David Hayter voice* "Damn... I hate activities"

"Store info then jam" also comes to mind. I keep putting a comma after the word 'info' every time I read it.

I wonder: What if famous movie quotes were engrishized?

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

=

"In honest manner baby, no curse from myself."

CIT · Post by **CIT** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 7:21 pm

I can't believe nobody has posted these yet:

"Mission Incomplete - I cannot fuck up for this!"

and

"Mission Incomplete - Shit. Is this not a great beginning."

Whoever knows what game they're from get's a big round of 16-Bit respect from me.

And then there's this classic:

VISUALSHOCK! SPEEDSHOCK! SOUNDSHOCK!
NOW IS THE TIME TO THE 68000 HEART ON FIRE!

dessgeega · Post by **dessgeega** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 7:28 pm

Seven Force wrote:Whoever knows what game they're from get's a big round of 16-Bit respect from me.

download for the pce.

i submit:

"as far as we are here invaders are not fearful."

CIT · Post by **CIT** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 9:46 pm

Download is correct. Here's your 16-Bit respect.

dessgeega · Post by **dessgeega** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:59 am

thank you.

Platypus[gEc] · Post by **Platypus[gEc]** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:42 am

howmuchkeefe wrote:
I wonder: What if famous movie quotes were engrishized?

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

=

"In honest manner baby, no curse from myself."

Let's have a topic on that. Hehe (i'll try to think of one myself, but my brain is way too tired at the moment...)

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 4:28 am

GET IT MORE!!

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 4:41 am

I like the "pow-aa up" voice in some Psyiko games. Are there any shumps with text that says "Power up get"?

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 5:54 am

Hey, I was watching Transformers Cybertron today (God, what have you people done to Optimus and co? This is cheesier than the old G.I. Joe PSAs!) and two of the kids were watching some ninja movie in the background. They purposefully dubbed it with bad japanese accents, and they characters were talking in engrish, too.

"He has disappeared in a cloud of flatulence!"
"Move! For the emergency of the situation is to be attend!"

Or something like that.

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:47 pm

AWJ · Post by **AWJ** » Tue Aug 09, 2005 7:57 pm

I don't know if it counts as "engrish", but the speech in Thunder Dragon 2 cracks me up.

"Here's my present for you!" (bomb)
"Ee-haw!" (sic)
"Hey, look at that punk!"
"God damn you! I can still fight you!"
"Oh my God! I'm gonna beat the hell out of you this time!"

And my favorite:
"Oh no, it's over! It's time to put in more coins, man!"

Apparently this was one of the first games Manabu Namiki did the music and sound design for. Looks like his fondness for goofy English voices (see Garegga, Batrider and Dimahoo) is long-standing.