Shmup stinkers

[TransatlanticFoe]

Strike Force Hydra on the GBA is one of the outright worst games I have ever had the misfortune of purchasing. I was so happy for Electronics Boutique's 7 days no-quibble returns policy, because that is the only time I've ever taken a game back for being total trash.

+ 1 on Strike Gunner too, or at least Super Strike Gunner on the SNES. How many grey helicopters must I shoot to the same rubbish 20 second loop of music?

Xenon 2 wasn't that bad once you got used to the seriously S L O W movement, and I assume Air Buster gets nominations for the stages where you mysteriously gain inertia.

So, a new one - Bomber Raid on the SMS. I challenge anyone to play that for 5 minutes and still be having a good time

[Observer]

"Bad Touhou Clones" isn't specific enough.

Super Mate Mate Laser should be taken off the list as well. It's just too early to pass judgement on it since the game is still very early in development, and the only iterations of it that have been released so far are just test and design demos. Playing one of them doesn't give you the sense of what the final version will be like (other than it possibly resembling an arena shooter) since there's no structure or progression implemented yet.

Yeah. I would take it off the list for now. Especially because it can get much worse later on (I hope not though)

True regarding "Bad Touhou Clones". If you need a specific example, that would be Resurrection of Heaven's Liquor. Freeware if I'm not wrong:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZp_AR7JWdg

[Obiwanshinobi]

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to like something. Many of my favorite albums I didn't like at first. Usually there is 1 or 2 songs that I can get into right away. Then slowly the rest grows on me. The ironic thing is that usually the songs that initially bring me to the album become my least favorite.

Yeah, very much this. I doubt many people liked beer from the first sip. Acquired taste and all that.

[Rob]

Turbo Force

gtfo

[BulletMagnet]

I was wondering how long it'd take you to show up, Rob.

[TrevHead (TVR)]

I thought about trolling Udderdude and nominating XOP Black
but considering Ive already listed his game as an euroshmup in that poll he would probably reach across the internets and throttle me

[Kollision]

I assume Air Buster gets nominations for the stages where you mysteriously gain inertia.

That just appears to be inertia, but it isn't. You can't stop moving, unless you lean against a screen border. It's supposed to convey the idea that you're flying in outer space (leaving the Earth's atmosphere at the end of the 3rd stage and regaining control as you re-enter a closed environment prior to fighting the 5th boss).

[Despatche]

Tell me about Legion. I thought the game was impossible to play due to emulation issues?

[Kollision]

Which Legion are you talking about?

[Marurun]

I remember another shmup, if it can be called a shmup without really having bullets? Captain Tomaday. It's like if Twinbee were made with vegetables, no guns, you don't attack straight in front of you, and the stages seem to go on FOREVER.

[drauch]

I agree with Captain Tomaday! God, I hate that game. It's quirky characters and silly antics don't fool me.

[Skyline]

The main problem with Tomaday is that there seems to be a lack of game balance and direction, it's stages just throw enemy patterns at you with a whack-a-mole quality to them. It's still playable though, it just makes you want to play Twinbee instead.

So why haven't most of the games on Rob's old lists made the cut? Unless someone here can find anything good about Espial.

[twalden]

Tell me about Legion. I thought the game was impossible to play due to emulation issues?

I was referring to the PC Engine CD version in my post.

[devilmanozzy]

Darius + by the Edge. It is the worst port of the series, not even stand-able.

[S20-TBL]

I'm disputing Famicom B-Wings.

That game had enough variety and secrets to last several years' worth of gameplay (case in point: my entire family got addicted to it for around 3 years straight during the heyday of the NES). The wraparound level layouts and boss designs also helped encourage exploration and experimentation with the weapons. Sure, some stank--I'm looking at you, VAN Wing and WIDE Wing--and some worked, but we had fun figuring out which is which, and even more fun finding the hidden Wings in each stage.

The only bad thing I can bring up would be some of the bosses and barriers with impenetrable weakspots, which not only required you to have the JUMP or DYNA Wings to even stand a chance of defeating them, but also to memorize when they would appear. Nonetheless, it holds its own; it's not on par with Life Force, but it's certainly no Action 52 shmup either.

[BPzeBanshee]

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to like something. Many of my favorite albums I didn't like at first. Usually there is 1 or 2 songs that I can get into right away. Then slowly the rest grows on me. The ironic thing is that usually the songs that initially bring me to the album become my least favorite.

Yeah, very much this. I doubt many people liked beer from the first sip. Acquired taste and all that.

Agreed. This was me with Cave games till Shmupmame got out and I could really get into the controls for ESPRade.

[Udderdude]

I thought about trolling Udderdude and nominating XOP Black :)
but considering Ive already listed his game as an euroshmup in that poll he would probably reach across the internets and throttle me

Can't be any worse than when shoesama claimed he "broke the game" because he realized he could speed boost around bullets in level 1. >_>

[emphatic]

Captain Tomaday really induces rage in me. I would say Strikers 1945+ is a stinker as well.

[Skykid]

Updated. Good list so far, I've had fun youtubing these.
I'll finish the video links in time to flesh it out, but keep em coming if you have anymore.

There's quite a lot of negatives over the positives for Turbo Force, but if anyone else wants to back that (and 1 more for Silver Surfer)
I can decide on what needs removing. Same for Famicom B-Wings.

Darius + by the Edge

Any vids for that version?

[Kollision]

Tell me about Legion. I thought the game was impossible to play due to emulation issues?

I was referring to the PC Engine CD version in my post.

I could emulate it perfectly on my PC.
I had to do it to practice that dreadful last stage before I could clear it for real on my Duo.

It is a contender for the list, but strangely I grew to like it after all the beating.

[Sly Cherry Chunks]

Darius + by the Edge. It is the worst port of the series, not even stand-able.

I was going to mention this but assumed that noone would have played it. Has to be seen to believed.

[TransatlanticFoe]

I assume Air Buster gets nominations for the stages where you mysteriously gain inertia.

That just appears to be inertia, but it isn't. You can't stop moving, unless you lean against a screen border. It's supposed to convey the idea that you're flying in outer space (leaving the Earth's atmosphere at the end of the 3rd stage and regaining control as you re-enter a closed environment prior to fighting the 5th boss).

Didn't realise it was "proper" rather than just inertia, I never let if drift too long! I get that it's an attempt at "realistic" physics, but it almost ruins the game because it's so frustrating to control... plus if it's aiming for a spot of realism, how does the damn thing manoeuvre in a vacuum? I don't see any directional thrusters! Shmups really are no place to attempt realism, especially when it gets in the way of fun.

[Despatche]

Forget the realism, it's a challenge.

[toaplan_shmupfan]

1942 original arcade version? Yeah, I know, it's often credited as the vertical shmup that inspired others, but still...

Even when I've done well enough, I've lost interest in the game about 12 stages into the game and the whole game is supposed to last 32 stages. Enemies are too repetitive, using loop to evade more often than not results in getting rammed by an enemy plane when coming out of the loop, and of course, the very repetitive drum and whistle music that sounds even worse on quality speakers than it did in the amplified mono arcade cabinet.

1943, despite having a lifebar rather than a specific number of turns, was a much better game.

As for fake gravity, Gaiares Stage 2 has it where after moving up and down the ship keeps auto-centering after being moved up or down, and in Gaiares stage 3 it shows up for the blackholes that resemble speaker cones if they were viewed from above.

[Skykid]

Right, if you check the first page I've linked all the entries to youtube vids bar a few I can't find. If anyone can find vids for the ones outstanding and post them up that would be cool.

Some of these games are shocking!

Is this a comprehensive list then, or does anyone have any more (I would've thought the Euroshmup Amiga years would have had quite a few relevant contributions?)

[TVG]

First off, the magic girl footage you put is not the right game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rul47aqVUqw
Here, no, the youtube vid is not choppy, it really animates like this.

Second, remove turbo force and strikers 1945+ asap.

[stryc9]

I'm disputing Strikers 1945 Plus. I mean honestly....

[stryc9]

...and I nominate Soldner X (the first one). Terrible, but at least they improved things with part 2.

[Skykid]

First off, the magic girl footage you put is not the right game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rul47aqVUqw
Here, no, the youtube vid is not choppy, it really animates like this.

Second, remove turbo force and strikers 1945+ asap.

Ah thanks, that was a bit confusing.

I'm disputing Strikers 1945 Plus. I mean honestly....

Sigh, okay, I'll take it off. What's with people throwing up decent games all the time.

Well, at least its becoming a pretty decent list of actual stinkers.

...and I nominate Soldner X (the first one). Terrible, but at least they improved things with part 2.

Will add now.

[Xexyz]

There's some games on this list that I enjoy, but I wouldn't dispute the argument that they aren't very good. But then I notice Blast Wind is in the list... Blast Wind, really? I think we're grasping at straws here if that's considered a stinker.