Shmup stinkers

[Skykid]

Sorry if the title is misleading. I realised after years of playing shmups that you rarely come across awful ones, and I don't know if that's because I haven't had enough exposure or if I was lucky enough to avoid the dodgy ones without really trying. It just seems to me that it's quite a difficult task to turn out an absolutely dreadful shmup.

Even if the shmup is simple, silly, overly-tough, overly-complex etc etc, there doesn't seem to be much of an obstacle in players applying themselves and, after learning the scoring or unique play elements, getting some solid enjoyment out of them. For instance, Ibara or Pink Sweets are going to ruin some people's minds and they won't find them fun. Regardless though, it's generally accepted that they're good games even if you can't hang with them.

Is it just a miracle genre where 90% of output is good, or have I just missed the absolute atrocities?

Here's a compilation of all games noted and youtube videos where available.

RULE: If a game is disputed as not being rubbish by at least 2 forum members, it's in contention for removal from the list. If those dissenting voices are cancelled out by more people voting for said game's stinkiness, it stays. I'm trying to be as fair as possible, using reasonable judgement, playing titles firsthand and listening to argument. It's worked out so far.

Agony (Amiga)
Project X (Amiga)
Guardian Storm/Sen Jin (Apologies for the fucktard talking over the video)
Major Stryker
Red Hawk/Stagger I
Air Attack
X-Plan
D-Force
Gulf War 2
Sky Smasher
B-Wings (Arcade Ver.)
MX5000
Silpheed (CoCo 2)
Mission Craft
Magic girl
arbalester (Arcade)
Planet Joker
Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy
Fuzzy Shooting
Blue Hawk
Spectrum 2000 (PC)
Stagger 1
Varia Metal
Xenon 2 (Megadrive version)
Pollux (Arcade)
Rock On
Terra Cresta 3D
Philosoma (PSX)
Gaia Seed (PSX)
Strike Gunner S.T.G. (Snes)
Divine Sealing
Thunder Spirits (Snes Thunder Force)
Broken Thunder
Ai Cho Aniki (PCE)
Cho Aniki (Saturn)
Steam Hearts (PCE/Saturn)
X-Dazedly Ray (Megadrive - commentary is terrible)
D-Return (x68000)
The Earth Defend/Earth Defense (MD)
Alien Gate (CDi)
Family Games I (CDi)
Asuka & Asuka (Arcade)
Shin Chuuka Taisen
Strike Force Hydra
Twin Eagle
Bio-Ship Paladin (Megadrive/Genesis ver.)
Retro Force
Eight Forces
Super Mate Mate Laser (Doujin PC)
Prötothea (Doujin PC)
Deep Blue (PCE)
Galg (Famicom)
1942 Joint Strike
Hani/Honey in the Sky (PCE)
Psychic Storm
Air Raid (Atari 2600)
Razor2 Hidden Skies
Bomber Raid (Master System)
Resurrection of Heaven's Liquor
Captain Tomaday (with annoying commentary) Neo Geo
Legion
Espial
Bermuda Triangle (SNK) Arcade
Flying Tiger (Dooyong) Arcade
Gulf Storm (Media Shoji) Arcade
The Last Day (Dooyong) Arcade
Darius+ (The Edge)
Submarine Attack (SMS)
Gates of Zendocon (Atari Lynx)
Zarlor Mercenary
Ocean Commander (Wii)
Fire Hawk (ESD - Arcade)
BlazeOn (SNES)
Sengoku Cannon (PSP)
Spriggan Powered
Silver Wings (PC)
Who's That Flying? (PC)
Transbot
Viewpoint (PS1 version)
Starcannon
MOZOX Space Salvager (PSP)
A Space Shooter for 2 Bucks (PSN)
Sky Force(Nokia S60)
Sky Force Reloaded (ios)
Apache Overkill (PSP)
Ace Armstrong Vs The Alien Scumbags (PSP)
Sine Mora XBLA

[dpful]

.....I really love ghost pilots. I know it's got some faults, but its got some good things about it, too.

[nZero]

The main game modes were a bit lackluster, certainly not the epic followup to Gradius V or the long-lost Parodius sequel that everyone seemed to have their expectations set at, but Otomedius G completely redeemed itself with the Versus Mission imo

Try Korean-made shooters in MAME if you're looking for some really bottom-of-the-barrel stuff.

[Skykid]

I wanna know what you think are shmup stinkers, not debate what I think are shmup stinkers, lol!
But see... the argument stands up, 2 games I put down as lacking and people have found something decent in them. I thought GP was atrocious back in the day.

Try Korean-made shooters in MAME if you're looking for some really bottom-of-the-barrel stuff.

Names please?

[trap15]

X-Plan

[DJ Incompetent]

D-Force

[nimitz]

Gulf War 2
Tyrian
Sky Smasher
B-Wings
Air Buster
Raptor: Call of the shadows
Twin Eagle 2
MX5000
Every Amiga shmup


Dooyong games are too good for this list.

[Skykid]

Is Air Buster that bad?

Every Amiga shmup

SWIV was alright once upon a time wasn't it?

Some of these are interesting, don't think I've even heard of most of em. I'm going to go bring them up in Mame.

Keep going.

[doctorx0079]

Sorry if the title is misleading. I realised after years of playing shmups that you rarely come across awful ones, and I don't know if that's because I haven't had enough exposure or if I was lucky enough to avoid the dodgy ones without really trying. It just seems to me that it's quite a difficult task to turn out a absolutely dreadful shmup.

Even if the shmup is simple, silly, overly-tough, overly-complex etc etc, there doesn't seem to be much of an obstacle in players applying themselves and, after learning the scoring or unique play elements, getting some solid enjoyment out of them. For instance, Ibara or Pink Sweets are going to ruin some people's minds and they won't find them fun. Regardless though, it's generally accepted that they're good games even if you can't hang with them.

Is it just a miracle genre where 90% of output is good, or have I just missed the absolute atrocities?

Seriously? Have you ever played a shmup older than DoDonpachi? Many shmups for old consoles and home computers are way too easy, too repetitive, too short or all of the above.

OT, I nominate Silpheed on the CoCo 2, as I always do. Look it up on YouTube. Actually Silpheed on the CoCo 3 is not much better even though it should be. I think they just didn't care. Both of those systems have good shmups. Frankly I also find Raiden Trad on SNES to be terrible, although I know it has fans. That game is so easy it shouldn't even be called Raiden.

Maybe I will list some more later.

[Drum]

I wanna know what you think are shmup stinkers, not debate what I think are shmup stinkers, lol!
But see... the argument stands up, 2 games I put down as lacking and people have found something decent in them. I thought GP was atrocious back in the day.

Try Korean-made shooters in MAME if you're looking for some really bottom-of-the-barrel stuff.

Names please?

Mission Craft is the ultimate Korean shmup - it is Starcraft: The Shooter.

Amiga has Apidya so that's something.

[TVG]

Magic girl immediately came to mind for some reason. It's an unlicensed genesis game. Being unlicensed I guess you can understand why it's shitty but the game is actually painful to play unlike other turds that are bad in a less agressive way. Must be the 15 FPS, the unbearable sound. The random enemy formations and spinning, the looooooong stages, the bosses that take forever to die etc. Goddamn.

On arcade, arbalester is very shitty. But in a more boring kind of shitty. There's just nothing to it.

Then there's a whole bunch of awful arcade raiden clones but I can't remember how each is called.

[doctorx0079]

Actually there is already a thread about this:

http://shmups.system11.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9963
And I listed CoCo Silpheed there too. Nothing you can come up with compares to its badness. You would have to go back to Atari 2600.

[ratikal]

Ether Vapor. It's filled with bullshit moments where you have to know where NOT to be at a certain moment. I know a lot of games do that, but usually your given some time to get the hell out of the way. In Ether Vapor, its instant.

[dunpeal2064]

Gradius III on the SNES. I hate this game. It just cannot handle 4 options with ripple lasers, and I always die due to atrocious amounts of lag.

[saucykobold]

Planet Joker
Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy
Fuzzy Shooting

[sunburstbasser]

I've been looking for some bad games for various reasons.

Try:

Blue Hawk
Spectrum 2000
Stagger 1
Varia Metal

Also, I know some people really like it but I can't stand Sengeki Striker.

[Drum]

Gradius III on the SNES. I hate this game. It just cannot handle 4 options with ripple lasers, and I always die due to atrocious amounts of lag.

Still better than the arcade version!

[PC Engine Fan X!]

There's the Pollux (or is it spelled "Pollox" instead?) arcade shmup PCB to try out on Mame/Mame32. I recall a single Pollux PCB appearing up for sale once in the Trading Section from a European based shmupper but no takers on it. Interesting huge single layer PCB nevertheless.

Playing Aero Blasters (aka Air Buster) on the PCE/TG-16 console is quite impressive due to Interstate's hard work pushing the framerate to an arcade-spec 60fps combined with simultaneous two player capability (definitely better than the MD/Genny release of Air Buster hands down).

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[TrevHead (TVR)]

Touhou JK

Im the same as you Skykid unless its a crappy euroshmup or a flash shmup im usually very easy to please atleast for just casual play and unless a shmup is very slowly paced or has bad controls im a happy chappy.

I do have a burning hatred of Xenon 2 though but thats partly to do with personal reasons and not all down to the game itself (its still a piece of shit though)

I will add that one thing a hate more then anything is invisible bullets syndrome. Like a unlicensed JPN MD shmup with added porn that had the stage background was water that was bright blue with moving wavy lines that mesmerised you (that shit was comon in games back then). That wouldnt be so bad but the bullets were blue aswell. I cant remember the shmups name but someone will know as theres a you tube video knocking around about it.

Oh ill also add Mobile Light Force 1 and 2, ok most of the game is still intact but ripping out the ending not bothering to put anything else in is just fucking evil for any poor sap who didnt know about it and doesnt credit feed

[Drum]

Pollux is not a bad game, really. Graphically it's an undercooked Toaplan ripoff and the weapon sounds are bad, but weapons have a nice feel to them and the bullet black holes are pretty cool.

[twalden]

This has been my 5 worst forever, probably won't change anytime soon:

Legion
Rock On
Deep Blue
Terra Cresta 3D
Planet Joker

[Skykid]

Seriously? Have you ever played a shmup older than DoDonpachi?

Seriously, why does everything have to be combative?

Of course I've played shmups older than Donpachi, most of my PCE and MD collection predates it, but I've been playing shmups (although not in a dedicated form) since I was a kid going to the arcade.

OT:

What about Philosoma, anyone played that seriously? I thought it blew but I think the graphics turned me off pretty early on.

EDIT:

Oh wait how could I forget Gaia Seed!
Despite it's rarity inflated value, after trying to get to grips with that for a couple of hours I swiftly moved it on. Really shoddy game imo.

[doctorx0079]

Oh wait how could I forget Gaia Seed!
Despite it's rarity inflated value, after trying to get to grips with that for a couple of hours I swiftly moved it on. Really shoddy game imo.

Now you're starting to get the picture.

but Silpheed on the CoCo 2 is still worse than whatever you said.

[Annoyboy]

Waaa SNES Gradius III is too hard for me even with the most overpowered setup that puts out the max amount of sprites the system can handle as my firepower

Gradius 3 doesn't deserve to be called a "stinker" at all, except maybe the impossible arcade version (neither does Otomedius G, which is average but nowhere near unplayable). Star Parodia is at the opposite end of the difficulty spectrum, which I'd put on this list for being the most boring shmup ever. Even a blindfolded baby with downs syndrome could one-life that on their first go.

[doctorx0079]

This game sucks:



I know because I used to have it.

[ED-057]

Ahem. Air Buster rules.

Any game that is not horribly broken or suffering from epic slowdown or bad frame rates doesn`t qualify as a true stinker. Just think about the Gamefly commercial where someone is banging his head against a wall, the girl on the couch lets out a blood-curdling scream, and a TV is seen flying out a window. They were probably playing one of the disgraceful ports from the 8/16-bit days like the Amiga port of 1943 or the SNES port of Raiden.

[Skykid]

SNES port of Raiden.

Haven't tried that. Who did the port?

[Marurun]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned Silver Surfer yet. It's not like it's really AWFUL awful, but it's still rather boring(and HARD.)

[ptoing]

I am not a fan of Psikyo to begin with, tho I am not saying their games are bad (a bit cheap perhaps), but Sol Divide is total trash.

Turbo Force is pretty shit as well.

[Despatche]

SNES port of Raiden.

Haven't tried that. Who did the port?

Micronics.