Thread cancer templates

[austere]

Have any of you noticed the certain threads developing cancer? Many threads in the Shmups Chat have unfortunately developed cancer and are now terminal. Once a thread develops cancer, the users are stuck revolving around themselves, arguing over the same thing page after page, attracting new users who feel the need to add nothing but additional post counts to the thread.

Here is a template of a thread cancer that is able to metastasise very quickly as seen in the Guwange 360 thread:

1. Several complaints about a problem or a limitation of a port are posted.
2. User X confirms limitation A and states its a problem for them.
Set n=1
3. User Yn begins to whine about everyone discussing limitation A, they do not see the problem even though it has been confirmed in steps 1 and 2. They may even concede the problem but state that it shouldn't be discussed at all.
4. User from set {X, Z1,...,Zn} steps in and corrects or otherwise argues against Yn.
5. User Wn may or may not interject, supporting previous user or taking the thread into off-topic territory by posting about something completely irrelevant. Either way, they're on standby and ready to add their "contribution".
6. n++, Go to 3

A small modification generalises this malignancy to contain any thread discussing a Xbox 360 game which is not region free.

Anyway, please post templates of any patterns you've noticed over the years, without limiting yourself to this forum. It is amusing to observe this behaviour as it inflates what should be around 5-8 posts on a topic into several pages of noise. Do it even if you have once contributed to a thread cancer -- haven't we all?

[CptRansom]

Because this definitely helps the problem!

[mesh control]

Cave STG died from cancer.

[Sasupoika]

It does help! Now you will know better when to abandon the ship, bomb, reduce rank etc.

[austere]

Because this definitely helps the problem!

Well, I'm not expecting someone to pick up any template posted here and think of it as an instruction manual. So it definitely won't make the problem any worse. Besides, it is not really a problem at all. Without the heavy moderation seen on insomnia.ac and cave-stg, it is simply a fact of life:

Having read through the last 7 pages of this thread all I can say is, I miss cave-stg forums

[Edwards80]

Heh now I am feeling guilty. I'm guessing this is stemming from the Guwange thread.

I think it usually starts when someone takes a comment personally and goes on the defensive, then they get a defensive response and everyone defends themselves by verbally hitting each other with sticks

It always seems to be started with good intentions/discussion in mind :S

[CptRansom]

Don't feel bad. Austere's just some Chinese kid; he can only hurt your feelings if you let him!

[Udderdude]

Don't feel bad. Austere's just some Chinese kid

Who may or may not live in various parts of the world at the same time.

[Lordstar]

in before locke

[Ed Oscuro]

I'll give it a shot...I don't know anything about your programmatic notation (?) so I apologize if it's unreadable. I had another template to follow but I forgot what it was, lol

"The philosophe (dilettante)"
1. A thread is posted discussing some object given to varied interpretations (quality of a release in a once-favored game franchise, RFC about constructing a (homemade equatorial tracking device, or inject your own), hobbyist discussion of corporate branding / marketing impacts on a range of products, armchair quarterbacking, etc. User X makes a statement, perhaps or perhaps not readable as a statement of fact.
2. User Yn states a "correction" on (almost always) technical or aesthetic grounds
3. User X disagrees with the premises underlying said correction.
Set n=1
4. The argument from User Yn slowly but surely mutates into accusations that failure to see their point is evidence of poor grasp of the facts (bonus points when User Yn doesn't know a thing about the subject themselves); alternatively, if the correction was on aesthetic grounds, the opposition is displaying slavish adherence to unfavorable regimes of thought.
5. User from set {X, Z1,...,Zn} steps in and further corrects or otherwise argues against Yn.
6. User Wn may or may not interject, supporting previous user or taking the thread into off-topic territory by posting about something completely irrelevant. Either way, they're on standby and ready to add their "contribution".
7. n++, Go to 4

[austere]

In step 5 you have mentioned Yn's interaction without introducing them even as you iterated across n (ignoring step 2, where the iterator was not even set!). Wait, I guess that makes me user Yn so let me stop myself here. :)

LordStar,

Udderdude and CaptainRansom are joking around, if you don't know what they're referring to, search for it.

[Ed Oscuro]

In step 5 you have mentioned Yn's interaction without introducing them even as you iterated across n (ignoring step 2, where the iterator was not even set!). Wait, I guess that makes me user Yn so let me stop myself here.

I'll just sit back and watch the experts in action. It's like getting somebody to do my homework!

I guess we're lucky I didn't introduce a Pn as somebody getting somebody else's issues projected onto them

[TVG]

It's just you.
Cardboard boxes/Boxart.
Sucide tactics.
"Is X worth it's inflated price?"
No pants.

[charlie chong]

DOEZ GOD EGGCYST?

[Herr Schatten]

Cave STG died from cancer.

No, it suicided to keep rank in control.

[Skykid]

Cave STG died from cancer.

No, it suicided to keep rank in control.

Genius.

[EOJ]

Cave STG died from cancer.

No, it suicided to keep rank in control.

<-- #1 Herr Schatten fan.

[Lordstar]

LordStar,

Yes?

[austere]

(Hint: There is a sentence following what you quoted, hard as it is to believe. Not trying to be mean, but ... seriously.)

[FIL]

The cure for cancer is trains in shmups and tacos.

[Taylor]

What's that n variable up to?

[austere]

If you asked me a few days ago I would have said infinity.