a raccoon made it's way through the roof and into the attic. when? who knows? we saw it yesterday on the roof near the hole it made into the attic. roommate threw a banana at it. really surprised he didn't throw his iphone, but the banana did the job. the raccoon got off the roof and onto the fence. its fat rolls hanging over both sides of the fence as it waddled across, cute. the dog was let out, and that scared it off. my landlady said that someone needs to pee on the roof to make sure it doesn't come back
banana roommates response "i'm not peeing up there, there's raccoon poo!" nobody wanted to do it. so the landlady was going to do it herself! i volunteered at this point. she said "make sure to pee in the hole." lulz ensued after this. unfortunately i had peed half an hour prior so i didn't have sufficient funds to put in the bank.13 hours later, i woke up and had to piss real bad! i could barely hold back my stream of justice from putting out the hate when i got out of bed. i got up on the roof and was ready to bleed the lizard when i suddenly felt really uncomfortable. it was about 3 in the afternoon, the hole is at the front of the house facing the road where anyone could see me, kids are getting out of school about now, and i saw a neighbor walk by right when i unzipped my fly. but i had to go real bad and the roof was hot as piss so i whipped it out. i don't mind having my wanker out on the roof but peeing is the fine line where i felt uncomfortable. i looked around and didn't see anyone, couldn't spot the neighbor so i took the beast out of its dungeon and started to do my business. i had trouble going at first. kind of like when you go to take a piss at work and your boss walks in right after you and starts having a conversation with you while you try to do your business. of course he has to stand in the urinal right next to yours. so i started to go. weak stream at first ( just like with the work situation) but it got to its full strength after a couple seconds. now the funny part. the hole was right under the end of an over hang at the center of the roof, so i had to stand downhill from it to get a good shot at it and pee in the hole (lol). the pee started to run back down towards my feet
why i did not realize this ahead of time!? so i was trying to dodge all these pee streams and still hit this stupid little target since i already peed everywhere else when all of a sudden i thought of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucmO38Sbk_k and started laughing. feet being the 2 ships and hibachi being that damn little hole. my stream/laser went out of hyper mode and started getting very weak, which meant i had yet another thing to dodge. i found a safe spot and started unloading on the TLB for like 10seconds straight when i got the hyper back. at this point i noticed that the roof was so hot that a lot of the pee started evaporating and turning into steam. i went to hold my breath and breathed some in 
i tried to get away and almost stepped in piss, then almost peed on myself. that shit got intense! i let off the last couple of charged shots from a distance and was done with the hole thing. i went to climb down the ladder but there was no one down there to hold the thing, so i just jumped and took the miss to avoid the pee fog that started to drift over to me. i started walking back inside when i noticed pee dripping off the roof...grossthanks for reading
Kinky...
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