worst controller ever

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Wow, I almost bought that thing.

I did buy that thing. Completely forgot about it.

Horrible.

Tetris just wasn't designed to be played like that.

The Atari Games PCB version of Tetris was designed to be played with an 8-way digital joystick plus either drop button placed either to the right or the left of it when it was released in U.S. arcades back in 1986...those were the good ol' days of when the arcades were still considered king. ^_~

The above statement is the proper way to play a mean & serious gaming session of Tetris PCB -- with real arcade controls and not some wonky & far-fetched generic controllers that came with that stand-alone Tetris home console unit setup... ^_~

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[JoshF]

I'd like to see those Grand Masters of the Arika games try and play with this thing.

[D]

Bringing threads from the crypt back to now!
What about that sword controller here?:
http://kotaku.com/5543585/5-crazy-contr ... ght-of-day

[Obiwanshinobi]

Bringing threads from the crypt back to now!
What about that sword controller here?:
http://kotaku.com/5543585/5-crazy-contr ... ght-of-day

What's with all those people discovering in the year 2010 that there was a sword-shaped controller for Onimusha 3? That was the news in the year 2004, lads.
The article reads like a total wank by the way. Trance Vibrator isn't a controller by any stretch of imagination. I've never-ever considered looking for vids of it on YouTube, let alone getting a blog for the sake of telling all the internet how HORRIBLE they were. That bloke moans like people who watched a yaoi hentai fully knowing it's a male homo cartoony porn, only to curse their curiosity for the rest of their lives.

Just thinking about this controller makes me feel dirty. And looking up videos to see how it works made me feel even worse.

If you have to know anything about the game Rez, know that this psychedelic shooter is very dependent on the beat of the music. Destroying enemies enhances the game music and can leave a player with a sense of synesthesia as your hands begin to move involuntarily with the beat.

For guys who have gotten too involved in this electronica-fueled rail-shooter and left their significant others neglected — or for people who just really want to get into the groove of the game — the trance vibrator was created.

Plugged into the USB port, the vibrator emits powerful motions in rhythm with the game's music. While the player destroys more enemies and the game becomes more intense, so too do the vibrations of this peripheral, making for an interesting experience either for a "single player" or their partner.

While the creator of the game, Tetsuya Mizuguchi, has gone on record saying that it was never meant as a sexual aid, the numerous videos found around the Internet seem to disagree.

If Trance Vibrator is a controller, then your TV and speakers are controllers too.

[Matsunaga]

Anyone have the U-Force? It was supposed to make Punch-Out more fun, because you could play by flailing your arms over a motion sensor..

[PC Engine Fan X!]

Nah, I did see a U-Force for sale at my local K-Mart back in the early 1990s for an insane $89.99 retail price. Plus they even had a Mattel Power Glove for roughly the same asking price. This back in the day when the NES had long since gone out of popularity and the SNES/Genesis/Turbografx-16 console wars were just getting heated up.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[worstplayer]

Genius...

[BulletMagnet]

What's with all those people discovering in the year 2010 that there was a sword-shaped controller for Onimusha 3? That was the news in the year 2004, lads.

Wasn't there some other "sword" controller put out just recently in Japan, for Dragon Quest or something?

[PC Engine Fan X!]

The upcoming Wii based Dragon Quest Monster Battle Road Victory game controller hasn't come out yet and will on July 15th, 2010 with a MSRP of 12,800 yen. The Dragon Quest RPG arcade game does have the sword controller in place.

PC Engine Fan X! ^_~

[dcharlie]

Plugged into the USB port, the vibrator emits powerful motions in rhythm with the game's music. While the player destroys more enemies and the game becomes more intense, so too do the vibrations of this peripheral, making for an interesting experience either for a "single player" or their partner.

you can link up 4 Transe vibrators ... um... my friend says.... err.... <nearestavailableexit.jpg>

[UnscathedFlyingObject]

Only controllers I've actually used and just pointing out what I think their problems are:

NES controller: The sharp corners make my palms hurt after playing for a while and it's very awkward to hold. The buttons are mushy and break easily. It had innovations like the d-pad and I'll always have fond memories of it's iconic design, although, it is probably better suited for belt buckles and T-shirts.

N64 controller: Another innovative controller implemented shittily; seems like a Nintendo trend to me. It's bulky, accessing all the buttons is difficult, only has one analog stick, and rumble needs batteries.

GC controller: I love/hate this controller. It's great to hold and the analog stick and buttons are some of my favorites in terms of tactile feedback. The bad side are the awkwardly-placed microscopic D-pad, weak rumble, and asymmetrical schizophrenic layout. ABYX feel almost randomly placed, Z is like an afterthought and why in hell is one of the analog sticks so much shorter than the other? Oh yeah, and short ass controller cable.

Wiimote + nunchuck: Innovative and nice looking, but once you get to know it better, it's like that old girlfriend you had with split personality disorder. On its side, it's more uncomfortable than the NES controller, and you have easy access to a whopping 2 buttons and waggle (yikes!) It fares better standing up since it's easier to hold, but it's only good for pointing at stuff. Waggle controls are inaccurate and laggy for most games and the buttons are all over the place with no rhyme or reason. MotionPlus was supposed to be implemented from the beginning, but Nintendo chickened out at the prospects of losing money to make a controller that works properly.

DC/Saturn3D controller: Horrible designs all around. The DC controller is a lot like the Saturn3D, only worse because for some odd reason they decided it was a good idea to put the memory card slot in it and move the cord to the bottom of the controller. I'm not a fan of the stick and buttons either.

Dual Shock family: Known to rip off Nintendo's many controller innovations but their execution is better overall. Sony basically took the SNES layout, added prongs for easier holding, a extra stick and integrated rumble into the controller. It'd great if the buttons and sticks were as crisp as the Gamecube's. Weird design choices include the R3/L3 buttons and the afterthought implementation of motion controls on the DS3.

[ZOM]

What's with all those people discovering in the year 2010 that there was a sword-shaped controller for Onimusha 3? That was the news in the year 2004, lads.

Wasn't there some other "sword" controller put out just recently in Japan, for Dragon Quest or something?

This one? was it even released?

Also, honarable mention to this one here:



As if the original wasn't bad enough...


EDIT:

Screw the Katana controller - a true Oni warrior plays with this one:

[Ed Oscuro]

What's with all those people discovering in the year 2010 that there was a sword-shaped controller for Onimusha 3? That was the news in the year 2004, lads.

Wasn't there some other "sword" controller put out just recently in Japan, for Dragon Quest or something?

This one? was it even released?

A number of years back there was a plug-in TV game for Dragon Quest that had a motion sensing sword. Pre-Wii. It was released.

Dear God, that last controller is nightmare fuel. It's worse than Stomach Faces.

[Koa Zo]

you can link up 4 Transe vibrators ... um... my friend says.... err.... <nearestavailableexit.jpg>

With only two USB ports I've only used two Trancevibrators while playing.

I guess for 4 you use a USB hub? If that's the case, then why not try 6?
The Transvibrator has got to draw a good bit of power from the USB port though. I'd think using a hub would be risky for the console.

And the whole notion of the Transvibrator for sexual stimulation is absurd.
Sure some people might get off from the vibrations, but it would be no different than sitting on a sub-woofer.
The is nothing inherently sexual about Rez, nor the pulses delivered through the Transvibrator.

edit: I just skimmed the linked article, and saw that he saws the Hori Dragon Quest Slime controller is uncomfortable - this is hardly true. It isn't a model of ergomonic design and comfort, but it isn't uncomfortable either.
Along with the other comments. That article just seems like another throwaway example of gaming "journalism" where there is one misleading opinion after another. And then the first comment on Kotaku congratulates them. Kids these days...
And as others have mentioned: the Transvibrator isn't even a controller - and for what it is (a game enhancement), it is one of the coolest peripherals ever.

[D]

Another contender!
http://www.yesasia.com/global/wii-drago ... /info.html

[Drum]

And as others have mentioned: the Transvibrator isn't even a controller - and for what it is (a game enhancement), it is one of the coolest peripherals ever.

No it isn't.

[ZOM]

And as others have mentioned: the Transvibrator isn't even a controller - and for what it is (a game enhancement), it is one of the coolest peripherals ever.

No it isn't.

Why not? Because it's not shaped like a dildo?

[Skykid]

Bemused as to how anyone could actually put the N64 controller in their 'worst' list - surely one of the best controllers ever conceived.

Probably a good idea to actually experience playing the games with it (Starfox, Ocarina, Mario 64, Sin and Punishment) rather than take it at face value.

[Ed Oscuro]

The N64's thumbstick is pretty awful (hurts the thumb, sharp edge to it) and more to the point the damn things wear out far too quickly. (Though my original Dual Shock, bought in '97 with my PlayStation, isn't 100% either, though that was just ONE stick and I went through a number of N64 controllers).

Interact and some other companies made some retarded looking N64 controller knockoffs, there's a couple around here (not mine, heh heh).

Also, I vote for the DS Lite. Let's see:
- shit d-pad (diagonals? what're those?)
- that feeling of my hands going asleep repeatedly trying to hold the thing
- also good for making your right thumb arthritic
- pleasantly impossible difficulty of using the shoulders and face buttons simultaneously (Metroid: Zero Mission is a real chore on this, at Mother Brain and in the jumping immediately after.)

[Drum]

Why not? Because it's not shaped like a dildo?

Yes.

[MX7]

Also, I vote for the DS Lite. Let's see:
- shit d-pad (diagonals? what're those?)
- that feeling of my hands going asleep repeatedly trying to hold the thing
- also good for making your right thumb arthritic
- pleasantly impossible difficulty of using the shoulders and face buttons simultaneously (Metroid: Zero Mission is a real chore on this, at Mother Brain and in the jumping immediately after.)

Last night I managed to finish Umihara Kawase (first game) in just under three minutes on a DS light. I regularly play this demanding game for hour long stretches, but I've never got hand cramps or owt. In fact, the only DS game to have knackered my hands is Guitar Hero: World tour, which has the potential to reduce your hand to a primal, claw-like appendage

Diagonals were annoying at first when trying to achieve my previous form on Umi, but a little practice was all it took to consistently trigger them.

As for the shoulder buttons, I regularly use them in conjunction with the face buttons with no problem. Most notably on Ketsui DL, where I have it set up as Y=shot, B=bomb and R=full auto. Therefore I'm constantly holding R. Never been a problem

I dunno, maybe I have tiny British hands or something

[Koa Zo]

And as others have mentioned: the Transvibrator isn't even a controller - and for what it is (a game enhancement), it is one of the coolest peripherals ever.

No it isn't.

No. Really, it is.

[Ed Oscuro]

As for the shoulder buttons, I regularly use them in conjunction with the face buttons with no problem. Most notably on Ketsui DL, where I have it set up as Y=shot, B=bomb and R=full auto. Therefore I'm constantly holding R. Never been a problem

I dunno, maybe I have tiny British hands or something

Shame on me for having these problems, I guess, I'm not up to Nintendo's standards. Your story is nice but clearly doesn't apply to me.

To be fair, some postures will exacerbate some problems like my hands falling asleep (i.e. tingly, not enough circulation getting to them) but even in good situations the DS Lite is simply uncomfortable to use for extended periods. I don't try to mash the controller but it still feels like I've been beating my thumb knuckles over like a champ after just playing one of those damned snowboarding events in Klonoa (for instance). And the Mother Brain fight in Zero Mission doesn't seem like it should be that aggravating but it is; it requires a lot of quick button presses. Makes me almost nostalgic for playing via the Game Boy Player with a GameCube controller's analog stick (in other words Nintendo has been rather shit about ergonomic considerations.)

[linko9]

For those of you having problems with diagonals on your DS lite, you may have a defective unit. My first DS lite could hardly register diagonals at all, so I sent it into Nintendo and got it replaced with a new unit, and the diagonals work great on it. I've heard of many other people with the same problem. It's still not a very good D-pad, but I don't think it's terrible.

Is it possible that the people who don't like the N64 controller have small hands? Many of my friends with small hands think the controller is uncomfortable, but I (with my somewhat large hands) have always loved the controller. One thing that having larger hands allows you to do is put your left hand on the left handle, and not the center handle, which for me is infinitely more comfortable, but I can see how it would be very uncomfortable for someone with small hands.

[Ed Oscuro]

Is it possible that the people who don't like the N64 controller have small hands?

Not in this case. I don't have ZOMG HUEG LIEK XBOX hands and I used to use the hell out of it. I always used it "akimbo" (held equally by both hands) instead of that goofy held mostly-in-one-hand design that some people (Nintendo?) suggested, which was silly. In any case, big hands or small hands, the analog nub is still uncomfortable unless you can keep your thumb right on the top...it's clear they didn't think it through. And again, they wear out, especially with some games (I hear Mario Party is a killer of N64 sticks, though I think Mischief Makers tried to offset it by using nothing but buttons).

[Slump]

(I hear Mario Party is a killer of N64 sticks, though I think Mischief Makers tried to offset it by using nothing but buttons).

Oh man, I still remember one of the minigames where you just had to twirl the stick in a circular motion as fast a possible for a given period of time. It would render your thumb and your thumbstick useless in minutes.

[Ruldra]

I thought the N64 controller was really bad at first, but I was holding it wrong (like this). It was really awkward trying to press the Z button with the middle finger.

By the way, the Gamecube controller is an abomination if you ask me.

[linko9]

I think the gamecube controller is great for 3d games. Extremely comfortable, and the joystick feels great. Obviously, playing a game like Ikaruga sucks with the GC controller, and fighters other than smash bros. are out of the question, but it works great for Nintendo games, and after all, those games are the main reason to buy a gamecube.

[E. Randy Dupre]

It's astonishing that in four pages of thread, nobody's mentioned the PSP analogue nub. That thing is fucking horrendous - not only is it barely fit for purpose (it's impossible to use it with any consistent degree of accuracy), its placement on the unit also makes it physically painful to use for anything more than five minutes.

All the complaints about the useless square button when the machine was released masked a far greater crime against ergonomics. That Nintendo seem to have copied it for the 3DS (unless I've fundamentally misunderstood how the slider works) is an absolute disgrace.

[ZOM]

PSP analogue nub

Yeah that thing is horrible and I hate it with a passion, it's pretty much the reason I don't play PSP games that don't have d-pad control for character movement. Good thing falcom knew better and put Adol's movement in Ys Seven on both, "stick" and d-pad.