Tell us the daft crap non shmuppers say about the genre

[ncp]

"Guideline" Tetris games: Making Tetrises is bad for you

Good god, some versions of Tetris are just terrible.

[Evrain]

Half-Life revolves around the Power of Awesomeness of the crowbar itself...

And Ikaruka is fun to play with dot eater, but I wouldn't review it that way.

Amen to that. unfortunately, half of the so-called reviewers actually can't review - that's why independent sites are always the best course of action.

[gs68]

I'm going to force the next reviewer who knocks points off a shmup for not having online multiplayer to go play each game in both versions of Action 52 to completion or loop.

[Leader Bee]

In respect of Mushi Futari: "WOW, thats oldskool, you should have bought COD instead, this is crap"

[Obiwanshinobi]

Half-Life revolves around the Power of Awesomeness of the crowbar itself...

And Ikaruka is fun to play with dot eater, but I wouldn't review it that way.

Amen to that. unfortunately, half of the so-called reviewers actually can't review - that's why independent sites are always the best course of action.

Dunno, does being independent (i.e. not relying upon clicks/ads) makes one a good reviewer? Independent or not, the best thing a reviewer can do is to be honest. I can totally believe that for some people (even those who have been playing games since the eighties or so) oldschool games (one hit - one kill etc.) can be totally awful. If they don't want it anymore and they are glad it's not a standard these days, well, they are not the best possible reviewers of such games, but still, the best thing they can do is to be honest. If they don't enjoy a game at all, why should they mark it above average? Of course being honest about some obscure game from a small-time publisher is easier than being honest about another Need for Speed, but I don't think "dependent" reviewers mark shmups down just for kicks. Most probably they really just don't like them. So be it.
My point is, not liking a genre of a game you got to review doesn't make you a bad reviewer as such. Yes, you should know the audience and so on, but if you still don't enjoy it that much, be honest.

[Mad Mage]

You have a point. One can not expect people to review games explicitly to our tastes. However, I strongly feel the complaints expressed in this topic are not about reviewers writing reviews we disagree with, but people are complaining reviewers are missing the point of shmups entirely by not playing them the way they are meant to be played. If you're gonna compare shmups to a game like Halo or God of War, you might as well not review it at all. Simply put, paid reviewers should know enough about video games to see shmups for WHAT THEY ARE, not what THEY ARE NOT.

[toaplan_shmupfan]

My point is, not liking a genre of a game you got to review doesn't make you a bad reviewer as such. Yes, you should know the audience and so on, but if you still don't enjoy it that much, be honest.

For that genre, yes it does. I'll explain.

I happen not to like platformers very much--don't really care for all the blind and/or tedious jumps and sometimes convoluted paths to complete each level, plus some of the easier ones still drag on for too long for my liking. Would I likely be bad reviewer for platform games? I would suggest I would be, for the elements such as the blind jumps and non-linear level completion paths may be what many of the fans of the genre like, but I hate that... and at the minimum, the gameplay score would likely suffer even if I objectively reviewed the graphics and sound and other game elements.

I happen not to like fighting games very much--don't really like moving joysticks in fireball, dragon punch, etc. motions and having to hit a button at the correct timing to use a "secret" move that may actually be an essential counter-move that keeps the gameplay balanced. Would I likely be a bad reviewer for the next Street Fighter, Tekken, or whatever else fighting game? I would suggest I would be, because maybe fans of those games enjoy the multiple directions and button presses to do the special moves, but I hate that. Again, the gameplay score would likely suffer even if I objectivel reviewed the graphics/sound/other game elements.

[Obiwanshinobi]

If you are independent, I take it you are not doing this for the living (otherwise you would be dependent), thus you can stick to the genres you like. With mainstream sites, I think it goes along these lines: sometimes, when every major release is covered and games drought is upon, editorial staff scraps the bottom of the barrel. That's when someone who isn't into the genre gets a shmup to review. That's shitty editorial policy, but he (or she) can't afford to refuse because he (or she) needs the money. That's what being a professional is about too. Professionals should do their best to understand the specific character of given game, but not liking it and marking honestly doesn't mean they weren't as objective and informative as a reviewer should be.
P.S. Of course professional reviewers tend to be cocks as "professional criticism" is a sad job (when even the crappiest games you slag off are made by people who obviously can do things you cannot do, i.e. make games), but I'm not sure if being independent helps in this regard.

[monkeyman]

I don't believe it's a necessity to like a genre of the game you are reviewing but it is necessary to UNDERSTAND the genre. After all if you don't understand what a game is setting out to do you can't exactly measure it against the audience's expectations.

[God]

From the early days of ... R Type, sensible difficulty levels prevailed for the most part, with reasonable reflexes (even beer sozzled) and a rough idea of what came next being enough for most of the game, and ridiculous pixel memorisation not required until at worst the last few levels.

The early levels aren't really that tough.

[Obiwanshinobi]

I have not fucking told it, just quoted (and linked to the original post). Get your friggin' HTML together, people.

I don't believe it's a necessity to like a genre of the game you are reviewing but it is necessary to UNDERSTAND the genre. After all if you don't understand what a game is setting out to do you can't exactly measure it against the audience's expectations.

I'm not defending people who mark shmups down for being, say, "short and easy" (read "easily credit feedable"). That is plain ignorant and not professional at all. A reviewer should know the history of gaming, what arcade games are all about etc.

[Exarion]

From that same comments page, we have this

why do they still make this 2d side scrolling shit, make a proper game like halo please

[drunkninja24]

From that same comments page, we have this

why do they still make this 2d side scrolling shit, make a proper game like halo please

I'm going to assume that guy was trolling, just to hold on to my last shred of faith in humanity.

[MadScientist]

On Raystorm HD;

"Is this one of those flying games, where you only move left and right, with minimal movement forward? Those games bore me beyond comprehension."

http://www.ps3trophies.co.uk/showthread ... post358884

[Zweihander]

I go on /v/ regularly.

I've seen it all.

Doesn't make me facepalm any less, though.

[njiska]

On Raystorm HD;

"Is this one of those flying games, where you only move left and right, with minimal movement forward? Those games bore me beyond comprehension."

http://www.ps3trophies.co.uk/showthread ... post358884

I've met a person who said that before. The irony being they love RPG with lots of grinding. Kind of ironic, isn't it?

[monkeyman]

I'm sure there was a comment on the IGN review for Raystorm HD saying it was basically just like Starfox 64 and wondering which game ripped off which.

[TrevHead (TVR)]

Ive come across alot of ppl making comments about raystorm HD like this: "I loved the original if this was 800points and not 1200 ild be all over it" I never understand why ppl make such value for money choices, I could of understood if the game was $60 for a budget title but 5 bucks is just petty

[gs68]

Really, every genre could be considered boring or otherwise idiotic.

FPS: "You just point and shoot and move around, and you get your ass kicked over and over in multiplayer with no hope of ever winning."
Rail shooters and gun games: "Same as above, only with no movement (which should be marked as a crime against humanity) and you put in $1 every five seconds!"
Fighting games: "Mash buttons!"
Falling blocks: "No plot, no character development, same shit only getting faster, Final Destination."
Many kinds of RPGs: "Grind fest! (And not the kind done at school dances.)"
Visual novel: "All you do is press enter! There's too much text so don't read it!"
Dating sims: "LOL JAPAN"
Eroge: "LOL JAPAN, ALSO ANYONE WHO IS TURNED ON BY THIS SHOULD TAKE A .45 TO HIS HEAD"
2D platformer: "All you do is jump and move right, there's no skill in that."

[Mills]

I remember one dude who used to work at Computer Exchange in London, who would boast about how he could loop x amount of shumps titles and i remember asking him about Strikers1945 when i came out on PS1, and he said i looped it no problem and boasted how easy it was, so i asked he managed to loop it with the special Gold ending with the half naked female pilots. He didn't know what i talking about, so after i explained the conditions to do that ending, he finally admitted that he couldn't loop it 1 credit and i just slated him as a shit player in front of his staff. About 2-3 weeks later i got sacked for talking too much shit front of staff and customers, so yeah he pretty much got owned in the end.

[Kollision]

I don't know if this has been posted already, but it's got pretty funny and retarded comments:

http://us.playstation.com/games-and-med ... r-ps3.html

[Obiwanshinobi]

I remember one dude who used to work at Computer Exchange in London, who would boast about how he could loop x amount of shumps titles and i remember asking him about Strikers1945 when i came out on PS1, and he said i looped it no problem and boasted how easy it was, so i asked he managed to loop it with the special Gold ending with the half naked female pilots.

Maybe he got the male one.

[dannnnn]

A topless 15 year old girl drinking a cup of tea. Nice.

[evil_ash_xero]

A topless 15 year old girl drinking a cup of tea. Nice.

Yes. Yes it is nice.

[neorichieb1971]

Asking a reviewer to review a shmup is like asking a farmer to review a lamborghini Gallardo. He will likely say "You'll end up in a field but you won't be able to plough it".

[njiska]

Asking a reviewer to review a shmup is like asking a farmer to review a lamborghini Gallardo. He will likely say "You'll end up in a field but you won't be able to plough it".

That comment sir, is full of win. I wish I could say you were wrong, but sadly as far as mainstream reviewers go they're, well... mainstream. If it doesn't appeal to your average Madden loving, Halo Tea-bagging asshole, they don't care.

[shadowbringer]

I don't know if this has been posted already, but it's got pretty funny and retarded comments:

http://us.playstation.com/games-and-med ... r-ps3.html

I remember having taken this screenshot from a SFIV video/review, don't remember exactly why I took it, but i thought about it when I saw the comments:

[HamidoOs]

A friend when he saw me playing a shmup:
"You're one of those people who want to express that they're different from others, but they don't know how to show that. So you're playing this."

[Obiwanshinobi]

A friend when he saw me playing a shmup:
"You're of of those people who want to express that they're different from others, but they don't know how to show that. So you're playing this."

Why, it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

[MadScientist]

Not specifically about shmups, though it could apply I suppose. On a podcast I was listening to the other day, someone was saying that there's two types of games - one is based around the gameplay mechanics and the other is more of a narrative or scenario-driven experience. He then described mechanic-based games as 'casual' games and the latter as 'mature' games.