ave wrote:- Play DoDonPachi emulated on the PSP while cycling on the streets of a city during the rush hour traffic collapse. You have to touch a car every second in order not to lose your combo, but you must not hit the cars with anything else but your hands. Don't use your break for the Maximum-bonus and touch every Volkswagen New Beetle crossing your route to make sure you get the Bee bonus up.
sunburstbasser wrote:You eat at Red Lobster, and when the server brings out your food you shout "WARNING! A Huge Battleship DUAL SHEARS Is Approaching Fast!
Rob wrote:You fold three white socks together and you get a chain.
Do the same with black socks too.
If you're wearing white, don't drink soda; drink milk instead, and then regurgitate it as a self-defense technique. Likewise, avoid milk if you're wearing black, and drink soda.
Try to destroy every piece of your girlfriends' shirt & trousers/skirt with some lasers (you emulate the laser by using a magnifying glass + sunlight). If she can take a joke she'll certainly honor you with the chance to destroy her underwear right after that.
Only for pro's: If you want to emphasize the illusion just hold some spectacles that don't match your dioptries over her interesting area.
You go on a hunting trip and expect killing defenseless creatures will reward you with powerups. Shooting rabbits gets you grenades for that fight with the bear.
And you fully expect the bear to shoot pink and blue bullets at you and using grenades to cancel them.
every time u 1cc an artesneit shmup u reward yourself by screwing ur girlfriend while cosplaying as a octopus or squid
Playing darius with a haddock stuck on your dick ( i only mention it cos a mate really did stick a fish on his dick )
A typical Shmupper
I seem to be cock and fish mad today so heres another one i quickly made up
EDIT: I wonder why the pics arnt showing from my flikr or picasa accounts but pictures borrowed from google image search r ok
anyway heres the link to the 1st pic http://www.flickr.com/photos/42019068@N ... otostream/
Thunder Force wrote:Play any Darius with your TV behind a fish tank, to add decoy enemies that cannot be shot.
Play through In The Hunt aboard a submarine.
Setup a game of Ikaruga with a dual signal splitter to two TVs facing each other, sit in the middle of them on a swivel chair, with the front/back of your body painted black/white, and spin 180 each time you change polarity in the game
Hahaha, I'm sorry that Ikaruga one is just too funny. I could actually see someone doing that.
The path to Heaven is ridden with bullets of Hell.
Stinger/TwinBee
Your family comes downstairs early one morning because they hear bells.
It turns out that your Christmas tree has fallen over because you wanted to keep juggling them until they turned blue or white while playing. There is also a mess of coat hangers, turnips and sweets littering the floor. A watermelon slice hangs from the ceiling with seeds dripping out. Your father's old boxing gloves have been taped to the sides of your chair and you have used your mother's vacuum cleaner attachment as a cannon.
Darius Gaiden
Playing the first level with your EYES and HEAD both closed.
Some of the best shmups don't actually end in a vowel.
No, this game is not Space Invaders.
jehu wrote: ↑Mon Apr 01, 2024 4:13 pmTakes a man of a certain class, taste and distinction to appreciate the deep-fried jpegs of trees and street-lamps.
Some of this shit's laugh out loud funny ... which is scary as hell. Shmup's have ruined my life!
I wouldn't have gave a shit before 2007, but then played Deathsmiles in Tokyo. You know how bad shit is now? I actually was on Easter Island (Rapa Nui), with a DS in my possession (and a copy of Gradius Advance). And I am GUTTED I didn't think about the money shot. I mean, fuck the statues...
xavierjesus wrote:Some of this shit's laugh out loud funny ... which is scary as hell. Shmup's have ruined my life!
I wouldn't have gave a shit before 2007, but then played Deathsmiles in Tokyo. You know how bad shit is now? I actually was on Easter Island (Rapa Nui), with a DS in my possession (and a copy of Gradius Advance). And I am GUTTED I didn't think about the money shot. I mean, fuck the statues...
Right, I'm off to 'Rank down'...
You missed out on the best photo opportunity in the history of videogaming man.
In this economy we're all feeling poor and penniless... BUT, IF WE'RE PERSISTENT SHMUP FANS, THEN THIS IS WHAT WE MUST DO!!! (Three exclamation points are totally necessary.)
...We go to Wal-Mart, buy a bunch of guns, and SHOOT THINGS! ...and hope a bunch of gems come flying out to us for our score-padding pleasure. And pockets. Indeed~
And, the faster we shoot, the bigger the gems!! We all win!
Gamertag: IceCoffin
I'm as invisible as Battle Garegga's bullets!
During a power outage, grab a die-cast figure (silver or chrome is ok) of a hawk. Hang it into your aquarium by a chain or rod and go "pew, pew, pew!" to satisfy your Darius fix.
Bonus if you can mimic the Boss Alarm tone, and if your fish match the species of bosses from the game.
Extra bonus if can you hum or whistle the corresponding boss's music, and the "Stage clear" theme afterwards.
