Stupid kanji tattoos

[greg]

So I went to a friend's house last night to see a Korean anime movie called Wonderful Days. It was an interesting movie with beautiful CG, and at least it was less confusing than Ghost in the Shell 2 about a month ago with Jon and Specineff. Anyhow, I haven't seen this friend of mine for about eight years... I just lost track of him when he started hanging out with all these nitwits. Apparently he still surrounds himself with nitwits. I was watching my friend play piano when one of his friends sat down on the couch next to me. I noticed she had a "Japanese" tatoo, so I foolishly attempted to read it. It was complete nonsense. It was a made-up kanji followed by a jumble of hiragana and katakana, and one "character" looked more like a wallpaper design than anything else. She asked me if I could read it, but I foolishly said no. Maybe I should've just been polite and said I can't understand Japanese. I just asked her who did her tattoo, and she said a friend. I then asked her if her friend understood Japanese, and she said no. So then I asked her what she thinks it's supposed to mean, and she said "unexpected." Well gee, that's partially true, since she EXPECTED her tattoo to make sense. If I could only have gone back in time to meet her, I would've told her how to write her tattoo, and given her the katakana for MASTURBATION. By the end of the night, I ended up talking to some psychotic moron who calls himself a "poet" and was giving me all these bizarre conspiracy theories about politics. Good thing I had a valid excuse to go get my wife from work last night.

I have no idea why so many idiots get tattoos they can't even frickin' understand. Yeah, we get a kick out of Engrish.com and laugh at Asians with ridiculous Engrish, but at least it's cool and we can enjoy it. On my last trip to Japan, I bought like seven Engrish shirts and I am well pleased with it. But at least Asians don't TATTOO Engrish onto their bodies! Doing a bit of research, I found a website called www.hanzismatter.com which showcases moronic tattoos. One famous example is a person who loves hip-hop/rap (:roll:) who wanted "mad flow" written in Chinese kanji. Well, it essentially translated to "explosive diahrrea," and the girl's tattoo was written just above her ass. There was one guy in Beijing who was tattooing offensive statements onto ignorant foreigners. He wrote "insert General Tso's chicken here" on one woman's belly. (I think he should be given a badge of honor... I'd love to tattoo "autoerotic asphyxiation onto some dumb idiot who wants "love and beauty" written on her neck.) There's another story of a Japanese tattoo artist who got so tired of gaijin bastardizing his language that he started tattooing "small penis" on guys.

Who the hell are these people? Why do they put something as PERMANENT as tattoos on their bodies that they can't even frickin' READ them? Do they delude themselves into thinking they have some "oneness" with Japanese culture? If they really did, they wouldn't be getting tattoos in the first place. Tattoos are associated with dangerous people, like yakuza or bosozoku. Heck, it's only finally starting to see Japanese wearing sunglasses to protect their eyes. Regardless, the rule anyone should be able to agree on is this: if you can't frickin' read your own frickin' tattoo, don't bother having it permanently marked on your frickin' body! Sheesh!

So do people agree with this, or am I just a judgemental elitest jerk?

[UnscathedFlyingObject]

He-larious!

I swear I'll put a lot of effort into learning japanese to spot these idiots . I know 20 hiragana already.

[Ord]

I have a tatoo (large mauri like tribal swirl on the ball of my shoulder, which i designed myself) which actually looks ok. I find it funny when people tatoo names and words on themselves. I never saw the point of having your wife/childs name on your body.
And as for doing it in another language well if they don't do the research then they are just asking for it.

[PaCrappa]

So you are seething with hatred and anger yet do not use actual curse words. Interesting.

I'd be willing to bet that you have mega "oneness" with Japanese culture.

Thanks for sharing.

Pa

[IlMrm]

Hilarious indeed.

I've seen many tattoos written in Chinese characters that make no sense at all, or are written incorrectly.

They might as well stick to one symbol characters like "love", or "courage".

[sven666]

.... Apparently he still surrounds himself with nitwits...

...he sure does

[EddyMRA]

One of the first class Petty Officers I work with has a Kanji on his left arm that reads "niku," meaning "meat."

[greg]

So you are seething with hatred and anger yet do not use actual curse words. Interesting.

I'd be willing to bet that you have mega "oneness" with Japanese culture.

Thanks for sharing.

Pa

What the hell, dude? I'm not "seething with hatred." She was a nice girl... just a bit of a wannabe. If I hated her, I would've really hurt her feelings instead of being polite to her. I'm just completely amazed at how stupid some people are, tattooing gibberish on themselves they only pretend to understand. At least other people understand what I'm getting at. And I've never claimed to have such a "oneness" with Japanese culture... every person I've met who claims such a thing have always been big poseurs.

[TWITCHDOCTOR]

You know Greg, you have some good points...
I just recently had a Kanji tattoo covering my entire back. Its supposed to read/translate to "Invincability", but when I showed it to an old Japanese lady(a family friend for years) she said it translated to "Shmups Suck...Especially ones in TATE".
She asked, "What are Shmups"?

Tomorrow I plan to go to Mexico, and let them "have their way with" my bare skin...

[UnscathedFlyingObject]

lol...

They'll kidnap you for money.

[GaijinPunch]

Great post Greg. Great post. You get a lot of that stuff here in Hawaii. I think I actually saw one guy but I'm pretty sure he had his name tattooed on him, which I thought was a bit much.

LMAO:

Says "baka gaijin" (stupid foreigner) for those that can't read it.

[landshark]

One of the first class Petty Officers I work with has a Kanji on his left arm that reads "niku," meaning "meat."

Hahah, that was the name of a character in Porky's.

[greg]

Says "baka gaijin" (stupid foreigner) for those that can't read it.

They have T-shirts that say that at J-list, and I'd like to get one. But to have that permanently tattood on the guy's shoulder like that.... What's he thinking?

[alpha5099]

I wonder if some of those so-called stupid tattoos aren't supposed to be ironic. It's a dumb reason to get a tattoo, but I could see someone wanting "Broken" or "Drunk" tattooed on their arm. The Fascist one just makes no sense.

PS - I didn't even know there were kanji for baka, I think I've only ever seen it written in kana.

[greg]

PS - I didn't even know there were kanji for baka, I think I've only ever seen it written in kana.

A lot of Japanese people don't know this, either. At least grade-school/junior high kids. Most often it's spelled in kana. You can write the word "sushi" in kanji as well, but kids don't know this because it's rarely written in kanji.

[matt]

But at least Asians don't TATTOO Engrish onto their bodies!

One Japanese guy who works for a local dive company has a Beavis & Butthead tattoo that includes some Engrish. Can't remember what it says.

I could swear I've seen a few other Engrish tattoos wandering around.

So do people agree with this, or am I just a judgemental elitest jerk?

I agree with both statements.

[iatneH]

Someone once sent me a link of some twisted practical jokes one incredibly clever person pulled, but I can't remember what the link was...

One of them involved a female gaijin coworker with a Chinese tattoo, which he stealthily copied and then got a friend to photoshop it into a Chinese restaurant menu, then approached the lady while pretending to be a Chinese expert, and it goes something like this:

"(random Chinese-sounding gibberish)"
"What"
"Oh, you don't know Chinese? I thought you would from that tattoo on your arm. Anyway, do you know what those words mean?"
"Yeah, it means inner peace"
"I believe you're mistaken. Your tattoo artist was screwing with you, it really means tofu."
"What?"
"Here, have a look at this." (pulls out the doctored menu) "It's right here. Tofu."
"WHAT THE **** I'm going to kill him!!!"
At this point the woman is in tears and it's time for the guy and his buddy to fess up

He did some other really excellent practical jokes and prank calls, like phoning mail order at Victoria's Secret..
(taking cup size)
"B as in boy?"
"B as in breast."
"What?"
"Erm, yes....34B"

edit: found it. Warning! might not be work safe.
http://www.zug.com/pranks.html

[Capt. Takehiko]

Says "baka gaijin" (stupid foreigner) for those that can't read it.

They have T-shirts that say that at J-list, and I'd like to get one. But to have that permanently tattood on the guy's shoulder like that.... What's he thinking?

Like most he is not.

[SheSaidDutch]

I saw this thread so I just had to take a picture of my "friend's" tattoo

It's really bad

[Randorama]

I also have spotted tatoos with gibberish italian,french and spanish ( not at once on the same body, i'd add), but also other unproper/uncorrect "cultural" tatoos ( of the type "this is an ancient greek symbol of strength!" with an owl, symbol of wisdom). Speaking of which, it's funny how italian (spanish,thai, etc) is usually mangled in order to try selling food. Or: most of the things written on restaurants to attract attention are usually uncoherent, especially if the owners are just trying to sell the typical food without "being part" of the specific culture. Oh well, that's one of the most interesting aspects of globalization, isn't it?

Like McDonald's doing "ethnic" burgers

[Cthulhu]

I saw this thread so I just had to take a picture of my "friend's" tattoo

Actually... that one is written properly. It says "dragon." Mind you, I don't know why you'd want it anyway, but that's one of the more sensical kanji tat's I've seen.

[Sundance]

"explosive diahrrea," and

"insert General Tso's chicken here"

[Regardless, the rule anyone should be able to agree on is this: if you can't frickin' read your own frickin' tattoo, don't bother having it permanently marked on your frickin' body! Sheesh!

So do people agree with this, or am I just a judgemental elitest jerk?

LMFAO...tell it like it is. Good Times.... I have a tattoo and plans for 4 more but i took 2 years to find the 1st one because i didn't want to regret some mickey mouse shit that i got on the spur of the moment, 10 years down the road. This Kanji Craze is just another fad that will pass soon...the sooner the better though.

[SheSaidDutch]

I saw this thread so I just had to take a picture of my "friend's" tattoo

Actually... that one is written properly. It says "dragon." Mind you, I don't know why you'd want it anyway, but that's one of the more sensical kanji tat's I've seen.

The quality is questionable though.

It's my friend's tattoo, I put comma's around friend because I only see him once and awhile, just incase you thought I actually had the tattoo by the use of those comma's