I warez'd and watch'd this Tim Burton film over the weekend. Having not really seen Depp in one of his Depp-like roles (just the Once Upon a Time in Mexico sequel where he gets his eyes torn out and he shotz da chef, yeah that one) I didn't really have a lot of baggage about Scissorhands or Fear and Loathing or whathaveyou.
SPOILERS (I guess) ALERTED!
The beginning of the film was one of the stronger openings for a film I've seen in recent times. "You did NOT just decapitate Martin Landau, motherfucker!" But yes, they did (and apparently they didn't even give him the courtesy of a credit, pffff).
New York in semi-New Amsterdam mode - charming. More charming was the appearance of Christopher Lee and That Other Guy Who Looks Familiar as Burgomaster and head constable, respectively (Lee was credited even though they don't show up again, hah; maybe because he is a horror regular and wasn't "the guy who could have been Leonard Nimoy if it weren't for Mission Impossible, or something"). Somebody else gets a starring role in the film despite having no spoken dialogue (just some grunts and stuff) and who doesn't even have a head most of the time so they're just an ambulatory suit.
On a serious note: Great filmatography, great sets, some good acting, decent Danny Elfman score, and so on - but what's with the plot? Insane as...well. Ichabod Crane as police inspector and a sort of American Dupin and proto-Holmes was interesting; the flashbacks (which are always idealized and usually clean-looking, even the ones that aren't dreams) likewise were cool, but it's a bit much to say "this is a murder mystery folks!!!" and then have gaping plot holes and the whole thing hinge on a piece of EVIDENcE!!! in the form of a repeated flashback which while interesting could have logically been ruled out by the audience by terms of simple math.
Quick rundown of things:
- Humorouf application of dead Boddys and Judicious Squirts of Blodd in to th Eyes, check
- other people's hands doing calligraphy which is, throughout the world of Sleepy Hollow, almost uniformly spidery and so on
- Flighty Hero(ine? quoted as saying he is in touch with his feminine side lols!!)
- Semi-annoying sidekick - not quite willing to call this a CHECK because the kid wasn't so bad after all
- Silly misunderstanding / love interest story: check
- Disney's version of the story taken down in 30 seconds (or so, I wasn't counting): check (hey that pumpkin isn't affected by gravity WITCHERY)
- On that note, character who was arguably going to be interesting killed off too quickly - another check
- Suddenly, Villain! check
So before we start gibbering in our sleepless restless nature, let's just say that Miranda Richardson was hot.
But wait! There's more before the pie. Short chronology of things:
1776: (maybe? Howe won vs. Washington at Chatterton Hill, but anyway) Headless Hessian gets pwnt
1799, late: Miranda Richardson's character looks about forty. Hot, but damn, don't tell me she's thirty (idealized girl in flashback looks about 6, +23 years = not quite thirty, maybe all that being emo took a toll on her)
1799, later: A short ride back across the country adjacent to the Hudson and it's snowing already. God bless the little Ice Age!
Random notes on spirituality:
The "Crone" (check the credits roll) is Miranda Richardson; it seems fairly plausible (whoooagh scarrrry) that she's supposed to be Richardson's character's sister (who gets offed for no apparent reason); we're given some personality clues (in retrospect) and other stuff hinting who this could be, but it looks like she dies during the divination sequence (in any case you can't tell due to the silly sunken CGI / rubber mask face). In any case this was just another character given a sloppy half-hearted tie-together, in my view.
We also don't find out (explicitly anyway) what happened to the little boy.
Yeah, I don't see how the Horseman is so happy to go back to Hell either, prizes or not. Also, they should have tried sealing his bones, or doing, I dunno, a bunch of other things. I suppose I'm not really upset that he doesn't seem to get a comeuppance, but it's vaguely troubling that he doesn't, even if he is Christopher Walken (partly because he looks like that lizardman furry guy in this film).
Did I miss anything? I bet I did.
Next up - maybe Dracula 2000? :D Ohhh boy!
SLEEPY HOLLOW: late night SUPER SPOOKY discussion of film
I saw the movie, but I don't have any idea what you're talking about. It was a long time ago. I do remember bustier overdrive, though. I bet the Elfman ST involves bass clef and then a twinkly triangle sound or something.
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It is important, it has its own Wikipedianary Article! Rush out there and check it out!JoshF wrote:I bet the Elfman ST involves bass clef and then a twinkly triangle sound or something.
On that note, the Wikipedia article for the movie has a hilariously inaccurate "LISTS OF DEATHS AND DYING IN THIS FILM"
as do I. mmmmm corsets and busriers fucking ruleJoshF wrote: I do remember bustier overdrive
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Ozymandiaz1260
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I enjoyed it. 
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Ozymandiaz1260
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PC Engine Fan X!
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Or you could patronize your local video rental store and do it that way. Keep a Blockbuster DVD for so long and it's yours to keep forever and still get charged at retail price + late rental charge fee. This new way of doing that particular business of keeping a Blockbuster DVD for two weeks past the rental return date & you end up buying it + paying an additional late fee charge really isn't my cup of tea.Ozymandiaz1260 wrote:I didn't say it wasn't enjoyable, just that it's terrible. I enjoy a lot of terrible movies, I just don't think about them so much...
Actually, I haven't seen this movie in a long-ass time. I think I might 'warez and watch' it tonight, as Ed so eloquently put it.
It would be easier to buy the damn DVD fair and square from a reputable store location & not have to pay up front more silly money from a rental video place. That's just crazy. ^_~
PC Engine Fan X! ^_~
Three letters changed, it makes a true statement now. (edit: beaten by MX7, good thing we're on the same page here!)ROBOTRON wrote:I was extremely irritated that a body, being dead and buried several days, still had sufficient blood pressure to squirt blood into Depp's face...a stupid, clumsy attempt at humor.
It was kinda funny when he walked out covered in blood, but besides that...bleh. I also liked when the doctor called him a necro (right before the squirt scene), HA HA LOL!
"Warez'd and watch'd," for ye olde tyme effekt.Ozymandiaz1260 wrote:I think I might 'warez and watch' it tonight, as Ed so eloquently put it.
Speaking of which I thought Ichabod's notebook was hilarious, particularly the "MY REVELATION OF TRUTH" (bottom of the left page when he's looking at the notebook for the first time in the ride in - maybe these were the second two pages he looks at; it's the ones with the torture on the left and INDUCTIVE REASONING YAY on the right), and even more so his flighty doodles about making hot pagan sex with witch gurrrl.
