Favorite funny shmup Engrish/quotes

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Wed May 18, 2005 2:26 pm

A timeless Engrish usage is in the entire opening sequence for the Genesis/Mega Drive version of Zero Wing. "HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN! ALL YOUR BASE ARE..."

This one from Psikyo's 1998 fixed screen shmup Space Bomber really caught my attention. It's written very well in English, except for the alien mastermind, who purposely speaks without definitive articles.This exchange between the alien invader mastermind and the President takes place after clearing World 4. It is definitely a cheap shot at then US President Bill Clinton. I'll let the screenshot below speak for itself:

And this one is from Aero Fighters 3, Keaton's ending:

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Wed May 18, 2005 3:37 pm

Most of Gunbird 2's endings are pretty silly, though I can't recall any exact quotes offhand...

I think Space Bomber probably takes the cake for funniest dialogue though.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Thu May 19, 2005 5:34 am

This one from SNES Gradius III after beating it in Arcade difficulty:

I'M GIVE UP!
YOUR APPELLATION IS
TECHNICAL MONKEY.

Skyline · Post by **Skyline** » Thu May 19, 2005 5:43 am

From Shippu Mahou Daisakusen.

ST Dragon · Post by **ST Dragon** » Thu May 19, 2005 9:18 am

In Blazing Star (NEOGEO) when ever you get totally overwhelmed by bullets & lasers & destoryed by a Boss, a small sign comes next to your ship saying: "POOR PLAYER!" A JPN girl voice also repeats that.

I thought it was quite funny, especially when combined with the frustration you feel, since the difficulty of the game is so high.

black mariah · Post by **black mariah** » Thu May 19, 2005 9:46 am

Look toward my sig. Best taunt from a game EVER.

crithit5000 · Post by **crithit5000** » Thu May 19, 2005 11:14 am

I find Darius II's "I always wanted a thing called tuna sasimi" humorous for some reason...

Sly Cherry Chunks · Post by **Sly Cherry Chunks** » Thu May 19, 2005 11:36 am

"Did you find the guy?"

*rousing fanfare*

[ten second pause]

"I'll finish you today for sure!"

ST Dragon · Post by **ST Dragon** » Thu May 19, 2005 12:03 pm

The Parodius Series all have hilarious quotes, intros & cut scenes.
The funniest ones are in Sexy Parodius by far.

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Thu May 19, 2005 12:59 pm

I AM SO HANGRY, I WONDER WHAT'S FOR LUNCH!

russ · Post by **russ** » Thu May 19, 2005 1:15 pm

Let's see if anyone can guess this one:

"...DIE MAGGOTTS!!!"

Dartagnan1083 · Post by **Dartagnan1083** » Thu May 19, 2005 7:46 pm

Just a couple...since they're the only NON-C.A.T.S. quotes that come to mind.

"STICK TO IT.....and Belive in your power"

"Escape to the Freedom"

Tomtom · Post by **Tomtom** » Thu May 19, 2005 8:05 pm

Sly Cherry Chunks wrote:"Did you find the guy?"

*rousing fanfare*

[ten second pause]

"I'll finish you today for sure!"

What is this from?

On topic, the entire intro from Dimahoo gets me every time. And that Space Bomber is CLASSIC.

Dewclaw · Post by **Dewclaw** » Thu May 19, 2005 9:03 pm

I guess this is close enough to a shmup to count, and it always makes me laugh when the announcer yells it out:

"YOU'VE GOT AN ATTITUDE!! HARRIER, RELEASE YOURSELF NOW!"

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Thu May 19, 2005 10:08 pm

I've mentioned it before, but one of my favorite sources of shmup engrish is the manual that came with my Genesis copy of Raiden Trad. I'll have to post some excerpts later when I'm at home.

FatCobra · Post by **FatCobra** » Fri May 20, 2005 12:21 am

"LET'S ASS KICK TOGETHER!!!"

Nuke · Post by **Nuke** » Fri May 20, 2005 12:46 am

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Fri May 20, 2005 12:57 am

Scenes between stages in Cave games are notoriously bad. They are direct translations of Japanese, were run-ons do not exist.

Blade · Post by **Blade** » Fri May 20, 2005 1:54 am

You're know this are going to be posted.

GET YOU THE HOT BULLETS OF SHOTGUN TO DIE!!!

ccovell · Post by **ccovell** » Fri May 20, 2005 1:59 am

FatCobra wrote:"LET'S ASS KICK TOGETHER!!!"

At least it doesn't say "LET'S ASS KICK EACH OTHER", which is what Japanese people often say when they mean "together".

OmegaFlareX · Post by **OmegaFlareX** » Fri May 20, 2005 3:05 am

Alluro wrote:I'M GIVE UP!
YOUR APPELLATION IS
TECHNICAL MONKEY.

Winner.

This is my favorite. It makes absolutely no fucking sense.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Fri May 20, 2005 5:39 am

Tomtom wrote:
Sly Cherry Chunks wrote:"Did you find the guy?"

*rousing fanfare*

[ten second pause]

"I'll finish you today for sure!"
What is this from?

On topic, the entire intro from Dimahoo gets me every time. And that Space Bomber is CLASSIC.

Sly Cherry Chunks' quote comes from Capcom's Forgotten Worlds. It's an exchange between the two Unknown Soldiers before the start of the first stage.

UnscathedFlyingObject · Fri May 20, 2005 5:48 am

I love how the announcer in Gradius Gaiden screams "UFO coming" during the third level

. I swear, I didn't know that until after I made my account here.

gs68 · Post by **gs68** » Fri May 20, 2005 6:17 am

P.S. "Chop U!"

black mariah · Post by **black mariah** » Fri May 20, 2005 6:42 am

I can't forget... "FEEEEEEEEEVERRR!" in Dangun Feveron. Most of the announcer's voice stuff cracks me up.

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Fri May 20, 2005 7:51 am

all the Engrish loading-screens in Espgaluda. they cracked me up the first time, and always manage to produce at least a giggle. ^_^

sffan · Post by **sffan** » Fri May 20, 2005 1:03 pm

Zweihander wrote:all the Engrish loading-screens in Espgaluda. they cracked me up the first time, and always manage to produce at least a giggle. ^_^

I've been meaning to freeze-frame them to write them down...tenaciously for no reason.

EddyMRA · Post by **EddyMRA** » Fri May 20, 2005 2:30 pm

I've been thinking about the Space Bomber quote for a while. When the alien mastermind says "You, degenerate president," I can't tell if he is directly addressing the President (i.e. getting his attention) or calling the President degenerate ("You are a degenerate president"). Up until this exchange, the alien mastermind spoke in broken English without definitive articles. He says things like, "We in trouble."

Here is Space Bomber's intro:

dpful · Post by **dpful** » Fri May 20, 2005 4:43 pm

Alluro wrote:
Tomtom wrote:
Sly Cherry Chunks wrote:"Did you find the guy?"

*rousing fanfare*

[ten second pause]

"I'll finish you today for sure!"
What is this from?

On topic, the entire intro from Dimahoo gets me every time. And that Space Bomber is CLASSIC.
Sly Cherry Chunks' quote comes from Capcom's Forgotten Worlds. It's an exchange between the two Unknown Soldiers before the start of the first stage.

And in the arcade, the voices are awesome!
White soldier: Did you find the guy? (soft and inquisitive)
Black soldier: ---he's got a funny voice, high and thick with ebonics accent- sounds like one of fat alberts friends.

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Sat May 21, 2005 10:55 am

Oh, yeah--classic

I FEEL ASLEEP! -- MG