IGN reviewer can't play or pronounce Ikaruga

[icycalm]

Jesus Fucking Christ GP. You are just gagging for it today ain't you?

You original statement is stupid.

My original statement (which was in interrogative form) was how well do you know the games you review when you review them? You wrote something about difficulty elsewhere (you were comparing other games) and it sounded off.

It sounded off to YOU. Because you have not yet learned to read in context. But that is not my problem. All I have for you is three words: REMEDIAL. ENGLISH. CLASSES.

That set aside, I can pick apart some pieces in your Galuda II review which (even though a good review) shows that maybe you're not as in tune w/ the system as one should be to review a game:

I don't give a flying fuck what you can pick. If you seriously find faults with my Galuda II review you will post them here:

http://forum.insomnia.ac/viewtopic.php?t=96

And if you do manage to show me that I've made some factual errors I will correct them immediately -- and thank you for it. If you are not prepared to do this then you can piss off -- you and your stupid opinions.

the exact bash you're giving the IGN reviewer.

Again, proof that you can't read. The IGN reviewer does not know how the game works. I do. That's why I have written the best review of the game on the internet. End of story.

Clearly no review or reviewer is going to be perfect...

You need to read more of my reviews. (After you have taken those remedial English classes, of course.)

[PROMETHEUS]

moozooh, why do you think icycalm knows more than most people don't about anything ? I've hardly ever seen him say something non retarded about video games. Most super casual gamers have a better approach of games than he does, apparently :/

[PROMETHEUS]

And if you do manage to show me that I've made some factual errors I will correct them immediately -- and thank you for it. If you are not prepared to do this then you can piss off -- you and your stupid opinions.

lol, have you corrected the factual errors in your stupid article about arcade games that was utterly demolished with good arguments on these boards ? I guess not, it would have forced you to rewrite the whole article and admit console games don't all suck and arcade games dominate nothing.

stupid opinions ? =)

gtfo tbh ^^

[nem]

That's why I have written the best review of the game on the internet. End of story.

Out of a handful (at best). A dubious honor.

You're lacking in hyperbole. Here I fixed it for you:

"That's why I have written the best review of any game in printed form. EVER!!"

[icycalm]

You're lacking in hyperbole. Here I fixed it for you:

"That's why I have written the best review of any game in printed form. EVER!!"

Thanks, that's much better. Now can we change the title of this thread to "The official icycalm fanclub thread" please.

[captain ahar]

You're lacking in hyperbole. Here I fixed it for you:

"That's why I have written the best review of any game in printed form. EVER!!"

Thanks, that's much better. Now can we change the title of this thread to "The official icycalm fanclub thread" please.

then i spose we can look for a complete cease of activity on this thread.

[icycalm]

This will never happen until the thread gets locked. That's the fate of ALL the threads I actively post in.

For example, I am waiting any moment now for GP to come back here and keep trying to convince me that I believe that Galuda II is easy.

Or Ed Oscuro to peddle his dime-store, Wikipedia-gleaned knowledge of philosophy.

Or some random dood to say that "If your having fun with a game jast review it no probs icy is too much elitist lols".

Or some other dood to post some jpeg from 2001 -- what passes for wisdom on the internets.

et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum and ad nauseam

[captain ahar]

This will never happen until the thread gets locked. That's the fate of ALL the threads I actively post in.

wow, from his own mouth.

[icycalm]

Fingers, actually.

You think that when someone's threads usually get locked on a big internet game forum, that it reflects badly on that person?

Let me tell you something: it is the OTHER way around.

[PROMETHEUS]

No, and I think you deserve a ban too.

[shoe-sama]

hey aren't icy and GP the only members here who think Recap is cool?

also is icy even good at shmups?

[KNTain]

I don't know about cool, but he's definitely right from time to time.

oh wait sorry LOL LOOK AT THAT TARD PLAYING EMUS WITH FAKE SCANLINES

[JoshF]

Stay in line.

Also, summary:
Icy: "Galuda 2 is not easy."
GP: "Galuda 2 is not easy."

I never played the game but I remember Icy mentioning the difficulty increases when you stay in that slowdown mode for too long.

[undamned]

You. It's always you.

It's just you.
-ud

[jp]

I downloaded this today. I hadn't played Ikaruga in... oh... since the week it came out after I 1CC'd it (was not playing for score mind you, so much easier).

My experience with Ikaruga is best summed up by Lewis Black's bit about candy corn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSRaUN73Rqw


<spoiler>

I really don't like Ikaruga.

</spoiler>

[Ed Oscuro]

Or Ed Oscuro to peddle his dime-store, Wikipedia-gleaned knowledge of philosophy.

That's rich!

I don't know what has caused you to hallucinate that I got my knowledge of Wittgenstein from Wikipedia. I've quoted directly from him. I've read other interpretations of his work. Wikipedia's article borrows too much and doesn't give enough sources for my liking; I hate to go to the fourth-hand source that is Wikipedia when there are better alternatives.

Of course, I think the real reason you have such a hard-on for W. is that you (allegedly) share a last name with one of his mystic inspirations.

Go back to your cell and rail against the marching morons. Nobody in your audience will contradict you there.

Shotgun indeed. If you keep making hardcore internet threats against your detractors you'll soon find the police at your door.

[Twiddle]

Icyclam makes me feel better about myself.

[GaijinPunch]

The IGN reviewer does not know how the game works. I do.

Subjective, very. Even in the review you say that the system was mostly explained to you (by someone with poor English skills, none the less).

stupid opinions

lol

For example, I am waiting any moment now for GP to come back here and keep trying to convince me that I believe that Galuda II is easy.

Sure, no problem.
http://insomnia.ac/reviews/custom/ketsui/

What else can one compare to this? The Mushis are way too complicated; the Galudas are not only too complicated but also too easy; the Ibaras and Muchi Muchi Pork! rely on the most artificial scoring gimmick ever invented (i.e. rank-based medalling);

So will you fix that now, or does it not count if it's not posted in your forum?

While I'm at it...

the other half is the simplicity of the scoring system.

The gem is the deceivingly complex scoring system. The idea is not not what you state in the article. You jack up the stage multiplier by killing things at close range with the shot...quite often for half of a whole stage. THEN you start scoring as you stated. How can you "know the game" and not mention that? I hear IGN calling your name.

[mr_m0nks]

maybe someone who can build cars would be best at reviewing another car?



or maybe not


however just as far as music journalism is full of failed musicians,


im guessing game journalism is full of pretty rubbish gamers

should all just go and get a real job if you ask me


besides i dont listen to anyone who takes there answer too seriously


what a waste of memory this thread has become i almost hate myself for adding to it!

[PROMETHEUS]

For example, I am waiting any moment now for GP to come back here and keep trying to convince me that I believe that Galuda II is easy.

Sure, no problem.
http://insomnia.ac/reviews/custom/ketsui/

What else can one compare to this? The Mushis are way too complicated; the Galudas are not only too complicated but also too easy; the Ibaras and Muchi Muchi Pork! rely on the most artificial scoring gimmick ever invented (i.e. rank-based medalling);

humiliation

you conked out again, icycalm.

[undamned]

The vomit-inducing part is that icycalm will come up with some complex reason why he didn't actually contradict himself.
-ud

[captain ahar]

The vomit-inducing part is that icycalm will come up with some complex reason why he didn't actually contradict himself.
-ud

thus creating a time paradox.

its funny, this is off topic as hell, but i got to admit its interesting seeing him fly of the handle, and get lost inside his own words.

[Arvandor]

It's not easy being a wannabe intellectual troll.

[shoe-sama]

being a wannabe isn't easy?

[Arvandor]

You left out 2/3 of the title. Wannabe by itself is too broad. I suppose it could be easy or difficult. And it depends on how you look at it. BEING one is easy enough I suppose, you just get a lot of crap for it, which may or may not be so easy.

You... Do speak English, don't you Shoe? These kinds of semantics shouldn't need to be explained/discussed/argued.

[Udderdude]

You... Do speak English, don't you Shoe? These kinds of semantics shouldn't need to be explained/discussed/argued.

Shoe speaks Shoelish. It's best not to try and understand it, lest your brain explode in a misty spray of gray matter.

[icycalm]

The IGN reviewer does not know how the game works. I do.

Subjective, very.

If you don't know what the word 'subjective' means, maybe.

What else can one compare to this? The Mushis are way too complicated; the Galudas are not only too complicated but also too easy; the Ibaras and Muchi Muchi Pork! rely on the most artificial scoring gimmick ever invented (i.e. rank-based medalling);

So will you fix that now, or does it not count if it's not posted in your forum?

There's nothing to fix. If there was I would have fixed it ages ago when you first brought it up. Like I said, you need to learn to read in context. It's back to school for you, illiterate moron.

While I'm at it...

the other half is the simplicity of the scoring system.

The gem is the deceivingly complex scoring system. The idea is not not what you state in the article. You jack up the stage multiplier by killing things at close range with the shot...quite often for half of a whole stage. THEN you start scoring as you stated. How can you "know the game" and not mention that? I hear IGN calling your name.

Man, I had no idea you were this stupid. You go through my website with a magnifying glass in order to find some miserable mistake to post it in this miserable thread in this miserable forum in order to make me look bad, and when you see that you can't find any mistakes you tell me that I did not mention something and then compare my site to IGN.

I got news for you asshole: there are tons of things I do not mention in my reviews. Reviews are not strategy guides. I choose which things to mention and which not to. Now go fuck yourself. I am done with you.

[Ghegs]

Now go fuck yourself. I am done with you.

What a coincidence, we're done with you too. Everybody wins!

[ArrogantBastard]

Hello, Rev. Stuart Campbell.

On a serious note, I downloaded Ikaruga on XBLA and it looks spiffy as hell. Too bad it lacks the prototype mode, and practice mode, too.

[Twiddle]

How am I going to feel better about myself now