One Linerz & VERY Short Joke Thread

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:49 pm

This is the most failridden thread we've had since F16 was shown the door.

Another fail, it's Fighter 17.

PaCrappa · Post by **PaCrappa** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:50 pm

I demoted his dumb ass a long time ago nub.

Vincere · Post by **Vincere** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:55 pm

Ha ha, I love this Thread. I don't get 95% of the whole stuff though.

DJ Incompetent · Post by **DJ Incompetent** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:09 pm

Erno Rubik invented the Gamecube

Skykid · Post by **Skykid** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:35 pm

Did you hear about the blind man who went Bungie Jumping?...

Scared the shit out of the dog.

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:26 pm

A guy and a kid were walking through the woods at night:
Kid: Man, I sure am scared!
Man: You? I gotta walk outta here by myself.

black flag nc · Post by **black flag nc** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 4:15 am

What's the best part about taking a shower with an eleven year old girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks like she's eight.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I'm going to hell......

JBC · Post by **JBC** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:26 am

A banana, an orange, and a pooplet are floating through the sewer one day. The pooplet says to the orange, "I believe... yes, yes i believe we are - fruit a-floating". The orange looks over at the banana and says to him he says, "You hear that shit?"

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:56 am

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house?

He didn't either.

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:07 am

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.

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This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy.

He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car."

The kid replies, "Gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!"

Shocky · Post by **Shocky** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:39 am

When Noah built his ark, he had two snakes aboard. When the animals were leaving, he said, "Go forth and multiply."
The snakes didn't move.
"Go forth and multiply!"
They still didn't move.
Noah was yelling by now. "Go forth and multiply!"
"We can't," they answered.
Noah was confused. "Why not?"
"We're adders."

Ex-Cyber · Post by **Ex-Cyber** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:35 am

What did Jesus ever do for Santa on his birthday?

(I think this is from Steven Wright)

CIT · Post by **CIT** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:39 am

Why do women get the period?

Cuz they deserve it!

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:56 am

Why is divorce so expensive?
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Because it's worth it.

Acid King · Post by **Acid King** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:40 pm

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.

-Mitch Hedberg

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:27 pm

Jesus died, respawned 3 days later, and said: omfg laaaaag

doodude · Post by **doodude** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 6:36 pm

Q: Whats the diffrence between a french women and a basketball team?
A: The basketball team showers after 4 periods.

Q: What is the diffrence between a catholic priest and acne?
A: Acne waits until your 13 to come on your face.

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:59 pm

I just realized this thread needs a Neil Hamburger hijack.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:02 pm

Neil Hamburger spells "something" and "Myspace" with two words each.

Is he America's Funnyman, or Funny Man?

Possibly both at once.

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:34 pm

Who the fuck is this Neil Ham Burger person?

lgb · Post by **lgb** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:40 pm

If you don't buy your wife expensive jewelry, the terrorists win.

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:49 pm

Who the fuck is this Neil Ham Burger person?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3xFdoS4Xz4A

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 12:23 am

Neil Hamburger is awesome, I can't believe I didn't know about him earlier. Thanks for the link, Josh!

Also thanks for not linking to the shitty Fox News Red Zone Show Whatever clip he was in (it's linked on his "unofficial" site) - that was rather funny but their anchor nearly killed it.

Zebra Airforce · Post by **Zebra Airforce** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 12:57 am

JoshF wrote:I just realized this thread needs a Neil Hamburger hijack.

ok

Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over the balcony?

Because he refused to finish his plate of sperm.

JoshF · Post by **JoshF** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:04 am

Videos only, the delivery is essential. Also you messed it up a little.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:08 am

JoshF wrote:Videos only, the delivery is essential.

Zebra Airforce · Post by **Zebra Airforce** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:13 am

JoshF wrote:Videos only, the delivery is essential. Also you messed it up a little.

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:14 am

AND WHY

Did God create

DENTISTS

Zebra Airforce · Post by **Zebra Airforce** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:37 am

Is this why?

Ed Oscuro · Post by **Ed Oscuro** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:49 am

No, ya fucking oreo horse