Worst Shmup Ideas Ever

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:37 pm

What do you think would be the worst premise for a shmup ever? Obviously, themes like depraved sexuality or racism wouldn't do too well in a shmup, but what else would make a truly awful shmup? This isn't really about gameplay...it's more about plot, graphic and character designs, and the weapon and powerup systems. I know having a bad weapon system can ruin a shmup, that's for sure! But seriously, I hope there are no racist shmups in existance.

EDIT: I kid you not, one time I played a shmup where your ship was a flying toilet. Mark my words, I kid you not.

theevilfunkster · Post by **theevilfunkster** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:45 pm

Andy 5 wrote:Obviously, themes like depraved sexuality or racism wouldn't do too well in a shmup

Choaniki would like a word

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:51 pm

Yes. I'm quite familiar with the Cho Aniki series, unfortunately. It's pretty damn hilarious though.

I actually don't mind funny games like that, or the occasional H game or ecchi shmup. But when people start making rape 'em ups or molest 'em ups, I'll be long gone, thank you.

nem · Post by **nem** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 3:57 pm

Andy 5 wrote:But seriously, I hope there are no racist shmups in existance.

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 4:15 pm

...... .................... .....
How is Ikaruga racist?

Post by **Icarus** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 4:25 pm

You turn white to shoot black things.
You turn black to shoot white things.
Kinda obvious, no? ^_-

EDIT: http://www.the-nextlevel.com/features/e ... cism.shtml

No_not_like_Quake · Post by **No_not_like_Quake** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 4:26 pm

A flying Lou Dobbs fighting illegal immigrants. Instead of medals you pick up and "rescue" the middle class. Second player controls Christine Romans.

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 4:38 pm

Icarus wrote:You turn white to shoot black things.
You turn black to shoot white things.
Kinda obvious, no? ^_-

EDIT: http://www.the-nextlevel.com/features/e ... cism.shtml

I read the article too. It proves that Ikaruga is about as racist as chess.

Farting Anime Girls: The Video Game (if you don't know deviantART, you won't get it)

Choose your anime girl and fly through several levels, shooting yellow waves of gas and anime-style farts at enemies. Weapon powerups take the form of various gassy foods. Enemies are fat, balding men who drink beer and fart back at you.

kengou · Post by **kengou** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:48 pm

Icarus wrote:You turn white to shoot black things.
You turn black to shoot white things.
Kinda obvious, no? ^_-

EDIT: http://www.the-nextlevel.com/features/e ... cism.shtml

I would actually argue that since you have to constantly change colors from white to black to make it through every stage, the game really encourages diversity.

As Maddox says:

the game's design is ingenious: the entire game can be played by alternating between black and white phases. It's impossible to complete the game without switching back and forth between colors. Clever design or subtle social commentary?

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=ikaruga

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:59 pm

Bible Blaster!

Shoot bibles at enemies, who are Buddhists, Hindus, pagans or anyone who's not a Christian. Upon getting hit with a shot (a Bible) they turn into Christians and fly off the screen. Bosses are generally either really cool-looking (greed or pride) or attractive anime girls (lust or vanity.) In the end cutscene you get to watch all your enemies burn in Hell. Wow, what a reward....Not!

TKGB_Mental_Gear · Post by **TKGB_Mental_Gear** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:04 pm

Racism huh? Well if you think about it, shooting down alien enemies to save humanity is racists, so with that in mind R-Type is racists against aliens.

Yamazaki! · Post by **Yamazaki!** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:07 pm

Kyuukluxclan Tiger?

Post by **Icarus** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:21 pm

Ever played The Reap?
That's racist. It also encourages ethnic cleansing/genocide.

Ceph · Post by **Ceph** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:22 pm

This may indeed be the worst shmup idea ever:

Ceph · Post by **Ceph** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:23 pm

Icarus wrote:Ever played The Reap?
That's racist. It also encourages ethnic cleansing/genocide.

Yeah, real xenocide. Now you know where malc got the idea for the name

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:23 pm

"How about the one where a massive army invades, and they decide to send out just one fighter jet that explodes if you look at it funny to repel the invasion?

CIT · Post by **CIT** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:27 pm

Pudgy piggy girls with disproportionate bodies that fire a lard shot seems like a pretty bad idea, I don't think anybody would do that...

..oh, wait, somebody did.

mainpatr1 · Post by **mainpatr1** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:31 pm

Any Hentai shmup.

SamIAm · Post by **SamIAm** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:16 pm

Thinking about an abortion shmup gives me all kinds of yucky ideas.

NAVVARR · Post by **NAVVARR** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 9:58 pm

What about a shmup- take for example Rtype- and turn it into some turn based tactical game... -wouldnt that be horrible *breaks out in a cold sweat*

oh nooooooo my nightmare is coming true..... aaaarrrghhh

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 10:02 pm

SamIAm wrote:Thinking about an abortion shmup gives me all kinds of yucky ideas.

Yeah, the final boss is Jerry Falwell's ghost!

Okay, baaadd idea: You're a micro-ship inside the intestines of someone who is very constipated. You have to shoot lumps of poop to soften them up enough so that the person can go to the bathroom. Along the way you'll have to fight flukes and parasitic worm bosses.

Or perhaps any shmup based on Friends.

Gungriffon Geona · Post by **Gungriffon Geona** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 10:05 pm

SamIAm wrote:Thinking about an abortion shmup gives me all kinds of yucky ideas.

They did that, it's called X-Multiply

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 10:24 pm

CIT wrote:Pudgy piggy girls with disproportionate bodies that fire a lard shot seems like a pretty bad idea, I don't think anybody would do that...

..oh, wait, somebody did.

They did? That's NOT good.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:52 am

Huge hitboxes.

Andy 5 · Post by **Andy 5** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:16 am

"The Weak Giant"

Your ship takes up over 1/8 of the screen, moves very slowly, and the hitbox extends outward over parts of the ship that aren't even there. You die instantly if even a tiny part of your ship hits one enemy shot, and each time you die, you restart at a previous checkpoint, A 'LA R-Type, as opposed to "on the fly." Finally, no matter how many quarters you put in, only one quarter is needed: you are set with a stock of only three continues, and when they're gone, they're gone...and so are you, when you leave the arcade to cease playing that god-awful game.

ccovell · Post by **ccovell** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 2:26 am

NAVVARR wrote:What about a shmup- take for example Rtype- and turn it into some turn based tactical game... -wouldnt that be horrible *breaks out in a cold sweat*

Sorry to make the '90s hell for you, but Irem Fighter has been giving people nightmares since 1993.

Andy 5 wrote:"The Weak Giant"

Your ship takes up over 1/8 of the screen, moves very slowly, and the hitbox extends outward over parts of the ship that aren't even there. You die instantly if even a tiny part of your ship hits one enemy shot...

Oh, kinda like Xenon 2?

RoninBuddha · Post by **RoninBuddha** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 3:41 am

any hentai shmup....

that's not freeware

BrianC · Post by **BrianC** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 3:59 am

Turing Darius into an Euroshmup. http://www.lemonamiga.com/games/details.php?id=1730

GaijinPunch · Post by **GaijinPunch** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 4:01 am

An American Gladiators based shooting game is a shit idea.

shinsage · Post by **shinsage** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 4:12 am

An American Gladiators based shooting game is an AWESOME idea.

take that Punchy.

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