Shitty games given to us as kids

Anything from run & guns to modern RPGs, what else do you play?
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ChurchOfSolipsism
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Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by ChurchOfSolipsism »

This thread is inspired by TransatlanticFoe's hilarious rhetorical question
TransatlanticFoe wrote: Wed Jun 05, 2024 11:28 pm who hasn't had a mad aunt that's bought something awful that you've had to Stockholm Syndrome some love for
So we all had games as kids that were shit, that we knew were shit, but we still played them since carts were expensive and in those days you had to play what you had.

For me, it was the atrocious Robin Hood gameboy game. Got it on my birthday from a friend's mum who bought it heavily discounted at the local supermarket. Bless her heart, but it was a shit game
BIL wrote: Sun Jun 02, 2024 11:01 pm Imagine a spilled cup of coffee totalling your dick and balls in one shot, sounds like the setup to a Death Wish sequel.
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bbbhltz
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by bbbhltz »

Fun idea.

Out in the boonies of Canada, the nearest town had a K-Mart and a Zeller's. In fact, K-Mart set up in the former Zeller's location when the new mall was built. Anyway, what had to happen happened and K-Mart pulled out of Canada and sold everything at massive discounts.

My mother was a shopaholic at the time and was first in line. She elbowed her way to the video games and swept everything into the cart.

My brother lucked out on the Sega front. Lots of good quality stuff (UMK3, Earthworm Jim, Comic Zone, Vectorman, Sonic(s), Space Harrier, a really awesome RNG, and so on).

Edit: the RNG was Doom Troopers, I thought it was awesome at the time.

I had the Nintendo consoles and got a single shitty NFL game for my SNES, Emmitt Smith Football, and a few Game Boy titles...

I tried my best and did get some joy out Torpedo Range, Raging Fighter and Battle Bull even though I was initially very upset. I hid my pain and still have those games, boxes and all, today. I did convince myself that Raging Fighter is probably the best of the fighting games I had for the console, and the other games are pretty good for the genre.
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ChurchOfSolipsism
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by ChurchOfSolipsism »

bbbhltz wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:44 pm My brother lucked out on the Sega front. Lots of good quality stuff ...
I had the Nintendo consoles and got a single shitty NFL game for my SNES
:lol:
Did your brother not let you play on his Genesis?
BIL wrote: Sun Jun 02, 2024 11:01 pm Imagine a spilled cup of coffee totalling your dick and balls in one shot, sounds like the setup to a Death Wish sequel.
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Lord British
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by Lord British »

My dad hated videogames and bought a fucking Phillips CDI for Christmas 1992 (and we were not rich). But to his credit, it's a great choice if you hate videogames. Two years prior we (my brother and I) wanted a TG16. What did we get? A Miracle keyboard. My dad was and still is an uber troll.
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by Steven »

I got Fellowship of the Ring for GBA for Christmas. Among other non-functional things, it was the original revision of the game that was guaranteed to crash in a room in Moria that you are required to pass through. Boring, awful game, and one of the most dysfunctional things I have ever experienced, with almost nothing functioning correctly, and with zero redeeming qualities at all, but I still beat it at least twice that I can remember. You have to pause and save the game as you enter the crash room. Then, once the game crashes, you can load your save and play normally.

Apparently there is a revision of the game that fixes the crash glitch. Too bad it didn't fix the rest of the game. Seriously, if you hate yourself, you need to play this game. It's so bad.
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bbbhltz
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by bbbhltz »

ChurchOfSolipsism wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:59 pm :lol:
Did your brother not let you play on his Genesis?
Yes, of course, until "the event" when I learned how to spam Kabal's combos in UMK3 and absolutely and gleefully destroyed him again and again. Soon after that the Genesis and the Game Gear were packed away and he got into PC games.
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ChurchOfSolipsism
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by ChurchOfSolipsism »

bbbhltz wrote: Fri Sep 12, 2025 3:26 pm
ChurchOfSolipsism wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2025 6:59 pm :lol:
Did your brother not let you play on his Genesis?
Yes, of course, until "the event" when I learned how to spam Kabal's combos in UMK3 and absolutely and gleefully destroyed him again and again. Soon after that the Genesis and the Game Gear were packed away and he got into PC games.
Hahaha
Dang, I remember on the first day when I got my Neo Geo CD with Samurai Shodown 2, best mate spammed jumping slash with Jubei when he found out I didn't know how to defend against it, which made me fume with rage, and I banned that specific character
BIL wrote: Sun Jun 02, 2024 11:01 pm Imagine a spilled cup of coffee totalling your dick and balls in one shot, sounds like the setup to a Death Wish sequel.
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R79
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by R79 »

Athena on Spectrum

Challenging!
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SuperDeadite
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by SuperDeadite »

Where's Waldo - NES. Loved it as a kid, and still find it fun today... but yeah it's terrible...
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by Udderdude »

The first three games I had for the NES were SMB/Duck Hunt, TMNT and Friday the 13th. One good game, one gimmicky game, one mediocre game and one awful game. Later shit that got tossed into the NES collection included Bad Dudes, and I remember renting some garbage like Home Alone. That one was my fault, though .. lol.
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AGermanArtist
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by AGermanArtist »

Xmas 1984 I wanted a C64, but my dad insisted it was MSX or nothing. He was an early 'computer buff' meaning he watched Data Base, Mico Live and read Personal Computing magazine, and reckoned it was the future of computing.
He picked up a Toshiba HX10 the week before Xmas with a Toshiba joystick, but couldn't find any software for it locally. I picked up a copy of Computer and Video Games in the local newsagent because I'd flicked through it and found a listing in the classifieds section for a place called Tavistock Hi-Fi in London that sold MSX games and applications, so we ordered some Konami carts and a cassette game, and paid extra for 48hr shipping. These were Konami's Comic Bakery and Athletic Land, and Hunchback. Tavistock Hi-Fi had a mailing list you could sub to by supplying your details on and returning a sheet of paper that came with your first order. They'd send you a newsletter listing incoming games you could pre-order.
I was glad I got it, I just wanted a computer that year, because it was the thing.
2 of my friends got ZX Spectrums which I hated, and another got a C64 which is what I wanted and was envious of the fact he could just save his pocket money for a couple of weeks and pick up games easily, whereas I had to pay £35 for each Konami cart and had to use mail order.
As I started to build a nice collection of Konami's games in the following years, I grew to love that thing, but I still held a resentment towards my dad for not getting a C64 and was still somewhat envious of my friend and his.
I had
Antarctic Adventure
Athletic Land
Circus Charlie
Comic Bakery
Goonies
Green Beret
Hunchback
Hyper Rally
Jet Set Willy
King's Valley
Knightmare
Manic Miner
Maze of Galious
Nemesis
Nemesis 2
Penguin Adventure
Road Fighter
Salamander
Sweet Acorn
Yie Ar Kung Fu
Yie Ar Kung Fu 2


I considered a MSX 2, but my next move came at Xmas 1989 when I got a Japanese Megadrive with a step down converter bundled with a copy of Super Shinobi from Tavistock Hi-Fi. I was 100% happy with that, especially considering it wouldn't be available in the UK until the following year. I had to buy import games, but I didn't care - the artwork was just so much better.
Last edited by AGermanArtist on Mon Sep 15, 2025 8:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
neorichieb1971
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by neorichieb1971 »

I chose all my own stuff. I got a Philips videopac (Oddysey 2 for you Americans) which I believe the C64/Spectrum was already out by then. Was probably 1983/1984.

My first console was a 3DO in 1994 with Road Rash, Shock Wave, Fifa etc. Was a good console but I upgraded to the Japanese PS1 in late 1994. The only game I regret buying in 1995 was Cybersled. Cost £80 from Raven games and I played it for 20 mins.

I never had parents that would randomly go shopping for you and say "hey, look what I got you today". That never happened.
This industry has become 2 dimensional as it transcended into a 3D world.
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Sumez
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by Sumez »

Well, video games were extremely expensive back then, so I was never just randomly "gifted" anything.

The few games I did have on contemporary consoles were all picked by myself, and I think generally I lucked out, or actually knew what I was picking. Super Mario Bros. 1 was the game that made me immediately wish for an NES in the first place, and my mom managed to secure one with the game included at a queue-up sale at a local supermarket.
Of course you can't really go wrong with that. The first Super Mario remains a solid classic to this day.

My other picks on NES were generally poorly informed but surprisingly fortunate - Tiny Toon Adventures based entirely on the appeal of the license and pretty graphics. I was not familiar with the name "Konami" at the time, and I think it actually being a really good game was entirely luck on my part.
Shadowgate and Lemmings were other picks. Lemmings was a famous game, so I knew exactly what I was getting into. In hindsight I'm not a big fan of the game, but you can't really call it shitty. Shadowgate looked cool, and I loved it at the time. I don't think it's a good game at all, but a lot of people still regard it as a classic today. My bigger mistake was picking the Swedish language version thinking I'd be able to understand any of it lol.

My final contemporary NES game, and more interesting pick was Solstice, famous today mostly for its amazing soundtrack.
This was picked up from a bargain bin of really cheap NES games. I actually picked The Guardian Legend first, based entirely on the cool box art (European version, not the shitty US one). From the back of the box it looked like an awesome top-down action adventure game akin to Zelda. I was surprised when I got home and it was actually a shoot'em up and I was too shitty at shooters at the time to make any headway into the game at all. In what I realise now was a really regrettable decision, we went back to the store and were actually able to return the game since the box was completely intact.

I picked Solstice instead, from the same bargain bin. This game appealed a lot more to me, but eventually I couldn't figure out how to make progress, and I didn't manage to clear it originally, leaving it just lying around for years.
Eventually I found a set of cheat codes for infinite lives and refilled magic potions, and picked the game back up. Managed to map out the whole game, and after spending a while with it again, I actually ended up liking it a lot. Of the games I had it's probably the one most commonly recognized as a "shitty game". But I'm here today to tell you that Solstice actually rocks. You just have to delve into it and give it the time it deserves.


By the time SNES rolled around, I knew what I was doing, read magazines to keep up with the news, and if I was curious about other games I'd just rent them instead. So my entire library there was qualiy ;)
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RGC
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by RGC »

neorichieb1971 wrote: Mon Sep 15, 2025 4:30 am I never had parents that would randomly go shopping for you and say "hey, look what I got you today". That never happened.
Yeah likewise. I selected all my own shit, and paid for most of it too (Raven Games...not heard that name in a while!). When I got into console gaming as a kid, there were hardly any shops in the UK where parents could walk in and just buy stuff off the shelves anyway. It was all done via mail order and sending off cheques in the post. I think our nearest physical shop was about 70 miles away down in Kent, a place called Whizzkid Games. My mind was blown the first time I made the pilgrimage and saw rows of japanese MD and PCE games along the wall. At this point I hadn't even started buying gaming mags, so a game's quality was largely spread by word of mouth. My parents did occasionally buy me games for birthdays and whatnot but it was 100% my choices and I would have to do most of the work to sort out the order(s).

Edit: All this said, if we go back a bit earlier to the Speccy days, our household acquired some atrocious shite. It was kind of a shared system, so I didn't really consider the games mine as such. But it's true that I persisted with playing some games that didn't deserve more than 5 minutes, just through lack of alternative choice. I sure tricked myself at the time into thinking some of those were good, but I'd like to think deep down I knew better. :lol:
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Re: Shitty games given to us as kids

Post by AGermanArtist »

I paid for my games from funds I robbed every week from the local catholic church I was an altar boy at. It was my job to collect all the 'collection' money from the pews once the last Sunday mass was over, and dump it in a bucket. I figured the church was robbing people, so I'd rob the church. I didn't believe in god, I only volunteered to be an altar boy because you'd get money for doing weddings and you'd get out of school for 2hrs every day for a week every month to do 10am mass, where you'd also get money for doing funerals. I probably had more disposable 'income' then than I do now.
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