Movies you've just watched

[vol.2]

I went to see Spaceballs with my mom at the theater in the Northampton Mall in western MA. My grandparents lived way out in the mountains around there and my mom used to take me to the mall to get a break from the rest of the family craziness.

That mall also had a really amazing arcade. I remember playing Punch Out on the day we went to see Spaceballs.

I don't think anything could actually ruin that for me, even if it's awful. Even a CGI puppet of Barf.

[xEbb1993x]

Heads of State, starring John Cena and Idris Elba. Since it's from the same director as Hardcore Henry and Nobody, I expected it to be good fun. And it was.

[ChurchOfSolipsism]

I went to see Spaceballs with my mom at the theater in the Northampton Mall in western MA. My grandparents lived way out in the mountains around there and my mom used to take me to the mall to get a break from the rest of the family craziness.

That mall also had a really amazing arcade. I remember playing Punch Out on the day we went to see Spaceballs.

I don't think anything could actually ruin that for me, even if it's awful. Even a CGI puppet of Barf.

Sounds great, and there's no reason why that cherished memory should be tainted by some stupid cashgrab 40 years later. Not sure anyway why people think that films are in some way ruined if they're remade or if there are bad sequels, particularly if the newer film wasn't made by the original team. Ghost in the Shell and Alita (the US films) were forgettable trash (what a surprise), but that doesn't change the fact that the original texts are wonderful.
Not too sorry to see they finally gave up on the Akira live version though...

[BryanM]

Yeah I'm 100% for the new Ghostbuster movies that I don't like.

The nostalgia trap isn't something you have to participate in, you can always try something new to try to stimulate the neurons. Like everyone always says when someone starts talking about Harry Potter, you can read a different book.

All the weird fan content that's grown around dead franchises like The Simpsons and Garfield is a million times better than any microwaved corpo slop would be able to capture. Lasagna Cat is wonderful. The Bartkira project was wonderful.

Or you can stick with old catfood of course. Here's an Alien that is also a Predator. The M3GAN franchise, which are basically much more pertinent and relevant kind of Terminator movies to the near future we have to look forward to, is just too new right. The neurons hate new(ish) things.

[vol.2]

Bartkira project was wonderful.

ty. got a lot of Bartkira to read lol.

The neurons hate new(ish) things.

I have come to discover, over my life, that if I don't get new things then I get bored and depressed.

That doesn't mean I don't fall into the nostalgia trap or anything; I think we're all just wired that way. It's also hard for me to onboard to new things, but I get a kind of renewal or refresh out of the experience that I'm quite drawn to. It feels kind of like hitting a wall when I'm jogging and it's hard, but I know it will feel good when I push through. That, only mentally I guess. Hope that makes some kind of sense.

[xEbb1993x]

A bit disappointed that The Old Guard 2 ended on a cliffhanger!

[neorichieb1971]

Minecraft.

I watched Tetris a while back, and Mario Bros movie. So why not watch Minecraft?

I have no reference of the game never played it. And all I got about the game is that you mine and build and it gets attacked? Like the hoard?

I'll give it 10/10 for creativity and laughs and just a silly movie. You can probably tell that by the cast.

I'll give it a 7/10 if you just want to watch something out there. Its not my type of movie i'm more of a scifi guy and whilst this is not that, its so stupid that you kinda like it anyway.

[NYN]

The neurons hate new(ish) things.

I have come to discover, over my life, that if I don't get new things then I get bored and depressed.

Yes, while I hesitate to call it pain, I know the feeling. At some time each month, when the "freshness" of new stuff wears of or plain ends I get that feeling...which I can only politely call 'unpleasant'. Jumping online is not a cure for it, mostly. So I take an effort to discover "new" things, to me at least. Speaking of:


The Gentlemen

First. Oi! Suppose there are only two kind of Guy Ritchie movies: the ones that are very much virile, full of lowlifes and high rollers, strong accents, the cheeky humour, and fine music. And then there's the others no one bothers watching. I cannot figure out why he does the latter, although I can see the trap with the former. Well, this one is one that can be watched, for it's kinetic synergy. The famous faces doing the things that are dangerous, splendid performances around. And yet I couldn't shake the feeling that all this is rather reactionary, calling back to the guv's beginnings. The only bird in this is very much one of the boys and her imminent danger at one point is not flawless. On a whole it reminds me of Sergio Leone and the male fantasies he created, which is not a critic, just I similarity I recognize. One other thing is that maybe it's hard to come up with is a funny situation that is not offensive enough now, as it was back then. To find the fine point, or as it is said in the movie, "to put the finger in the missus." Strong points for musical style. In a chase scene, ODB's Shimmy Shimmy Ya starts rolling and the surprise sets in to hear it's a version interpreted with kids. Very fun. Would finger again.

[Vexorg]

Heads of State: *1/2

If you've thought of John Cena's as a low budget version of Dwayne Johnson when it comes to acting... Well, this film will do absolutely nothing to convince you otherwise. Cena and Idris Elba play the President of the US and the Prime Minister of Britain respectively as they Die Hard their way through Eastern Europe after Air Force One gets shot down over Belarus by a British actor playing a Russian arms dealer and his squad of suspiciously white disposable goons (seriously, I think I've seen more diversity at a GOP convention) with about as much chemistry between them as a half-deflated helium balloon and various attempts at comedy that mostly fall flat. Comes in under two hours but still feels about 20 minutes too long. Loaded with pointless PG-13 violence that mostly serves to make you wonder which studio exec demanded that they make this a PG-13 when it probably would have been much better as an R-rated movie. I'd recommend skipping this, but if you must watch it I'd recommend skipping the first 30 minutes.

[GaijinPunch]

Jurassic Park: Rebirth

Very few things I can get my son to sit through, so we landed on this. Maybe even more ridiculous than I had anticipated. Overly formulaic, as it's obvious who is going to get eaten within seconds of meeting them. Somehow they stretched this out to a 2 hour and 13 minute runtime. Pretty unbelievable. I didn't even see the last two. Probably should have kept w/ that trend.

[BryanM]

Pretty unbelievable. I didn't even see the last two. Probably should have kept w/ that trend.

The only one of the new Parks I've seen anything of was Dominion... for some reason the internet had good buzz about the first Jurassic World and me like a total fuckin' schmuck fell for it. There was a mildly promising opening followed by some opie-looking fuck bickering with his family in their log cabin in the woods with lots of teen daughter angst drama. And a pet dino. That didn't claw anybody's eyes out. Then locusts were the big bad guy of the film. I remember there was a frozen lake they had to crawl on because they were scareded they would break through.

Jesus christ is this bad.

I understand now how all these bad movies are getting made. It's all so very simple. You know how the foundation of all entertainment is emotions?

Like in the first movie it was easy to get attached to the characters and the events that were currently going on: You have a married couple that likes digging up dino bones and are debating over having a kid. You got the grandfatherly guy who just wants to bring wonder to the world (and make a lot of money as a bonus). The doom-preachin' know-it-all scientist dude. And Newman from Seinfeld, the perfect bad guy. We all have feelings about at least a couple of these characters.

For a good while, I was absolutely baffled how you fuck up a Jurassic Park movie. Just copy the formula, look at some Dinosaurs Attack art, think of how fuckin' cool dinosaurs are, ruminate a bit on the beauty and ugliness inherent to the human condition, and stuff those raw feelings into a vaguely coherent narrative that isn't a bunch disjointed nature setpieces. It's not complicated.

But instead it's like a $200 million Neil Breen movie of random fuckin' shit that happens, minus being written by somebody with a soul. The people writing these movies and people in charge of greenlighting them don't have emotions. That's all there is to it.

.... $265 fuckin' million to look no better than those Z-tier movies that are just a guy with a camcorder doing martial arts moves with a couple buddies in the forest in his backyard. Dafuuuuck.

We coulda cured cancer, but it was more important for the world to have Jurassic World: Dominion instead.

[NYN]

Seed of Chucky

First. With a title as that, and an opening that is literally the insemination shown, one can feel on the spot what will follow: the highest camp the movies ever got. Followed only by the highest meta it ever utilized, not only with the faces (dolls) playing themselves; it's also referencing Norman Bates' mom and St. Santy Claus. My fave being the Elephant Man flavour. The kid made me feel, confused and abused, only to be revealed to be the offspring of the worst and inept parents ever. It's high farce to watch this combo aim to attain some form of normalcy, as defined by major society: the kids, the fence, the nanny, the divorce, etc. So, I feel the over-shooting is very much in a direction, and I am positive that never again will a movie come together as this. Universal exec knew it, releasing it under a label name.


Curse of Chucky

First. Close to a decade after The Chuck Seed, the doll returns on a micro budget and only home release. That very much defines the whole: zero camp and next to none humour. All serious and scary, it reminds me of the Jackie Earle Haley Elm Street, that allowed no levity of any kind. The restrictions are played as strong points, with the single set, an almost somber pace, and the arrangements of happenings: the Chucker only curses after half of the run time is reached (and no Little Caesar monologue either) , and Mr Dourif gets some live action indeed, which gives a flavour of strict economy. While it "works" well enough, it somehow feels like the anti-matter to the C-Seed, in many regards. Not sure viewers who loathed the former get all satisfied by this. Even the original maintains more balance. I find it stranger than Seed, which itself seems strange. Weird, huh?