XITILON DOES THE "PUSH'EM UP" AND FAILS
TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
Xitilon, the "Norbert Moutier of Gaming" seems to be on a roll...a Shit-roll since we're having more D-Grade shooters.
This time is no other than Bacrush, an unbelievable mess that makes home-made development look more like "HOMELESS" development.
Wish I was kidding.
Fair warning of what you're about to see. This is directly the most infamous, atrocious and heinous "Trash Gaming". Don't expect to see me writing a large review about this OFFENSE to gaming because this fucked up shit lacks of content already. The premise of Bacrush is the lamest of any shmup or videogame: Pick coins non-stop while avoiding the barriers, which they're the Baculas from Xevious/Super Xevious. While in Xevious you had to avoid them since they're invincible, in Bacrush you can push them by firing in three directions: Frontal and two side-rear shots. But there's one problem; your weapon overheats if you shoot too much which makes you prone to collisions and if you take one single hit its game over. The coin score mechanic is also the basic Xitilon crap: Each medal gives you one point, increasing its value by 1 on each pick. The idea is to collect 100 coins (accumulative or in one shot, it doesn't matter), get 200 points, survive 20 seconds without firing, live 1 minute and die up to 10 times. No boss battle, no power ups, no intro or ending, just pick coins and avoid the Baculas.Sturmvogel Prime wrote:If you're familiarized with either my reviews or Xitilon's games, talk about Xitilon is, first of all, I warn you, uttering a "By God..." in capital letters, got it?
With capital letters, bold text, underlined and font size 220 or more in Microsoft Word.
If gameplay is terrible, the graphics are even worse. ¿Remember Miniature Golf on the Atari 2600?, You'll probably remember AVGN's laughing about being a square pushing a square. If that was laughable on an Atari 2600 game, now imagine how imbecile and pathetic this idea looks in your PlayStation 4 or 5. Your ship is a square shooting little squares at large squares to push the big squares away from your square. Makes Pitfall look like 2001: A Space Odyssey in comparison. The sound on the other side is at least enjoyable as Xitilon this time tries a more Commodore 64/Tim Follin-esque approach on the synth-electronic style.
BAFACTS
Gameplay: F-
Graphics: F-
Music: A
False Advertising: A+
- Like Astball, the name of this game is also written in lower case letters on its entirety on the PlayStation dashboard.
- The promotional art is a blatant display of false advertising since there's no space ship, just a green square.
- The name of this game is a wordplay of "Bacula" and "Crush".
Oh, me, oh, my. Bacrush just proves once again how much Sony cares for the PlayStation Store by letting shit like this get their way in. But looks like Sony likes to be the LJN of consoles just as much as I end up becoming the Cinecutre of gaming with all these shit game reviews I'm constantly writing.
1 R-9 in the R-Scale. No need to explain...
