WHO YOU GONNA CALL...?
TRASHSTORM IS NOT A REAL STORY.
IS NOT EVEN GOOD FICTION.
IS TRASH GAME REVIEWS.
ALL OF THE GAMES FEATURED WOULD CAUSE A PERSON DISAPPOINTMENT,
ANGER, FRUSTRATION, DEPRESSION, MONEY LOSS INCLUDED.
TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
You know who to call when you have ghosts.
But who do you call when you have trash games? Trash games like Wave Buxters, and like always, I'm the one who's told "Answer The Call" by this world.
No logo, no disclaimer, no menu.
You know this game sucks already when the developer is absent from its creation.
Wave Buxters by Playstige Interactive Information and Trade Limited Liability Company (Long name to say "Shit Incorporated"). Ah, shit, its one of those $0.99 games that pelt the PlayStation Store, such a fucking pain in the whole body and mind. I don't know why but the console is besieged with the perpetual category of "People who thinks big and fail miserably".
As soon as you begin the game, you'll notice that the title screen already warns you how pathetic this is gonna be. How? By lacking of copyrights or game logos on the title screen, as simple as that. That lack of credit reminds me of what Seanbaby said on his review of Wayne's World.
Well, let's go with the game.Seanbaby wrote:Capitalist Treachery: 8
You probably noticed I don't give any of this game's staff much credit. They're obviously not capable people, or even people that are allowed to go outside without one end of their leash firmly around the wrist of their helper. But I bet beneath the drool and Graham Cracker crumbs, they knew that they were releasing criminally unplayable crap to the public because there were enough stupidly blind fans of the word "Schwing!" to sell a few thousand copies.
Zero strategy, boring offensive, just get me out of this base.
The gameplay of Wave Buxters is based on "Base Defense", which means, you can't let enemies escape pretty much like Cloudphobia or Sega's SDI, but unlike the previous two, you won't get a Game Over if they hit your base at the bottom. The only way to lose die and lose lives is if your ship touches the ships. So what happens when the ships reach your base at the bottom? It deduces the enemy values from your overall score and you go to the next stage like if nothing happened.
In any case, you're given two weapons: The basic fast firing linear shot by holding the X button and the second is a charge shot that takes down or at least damages four enemies inline. This weapon is used by holding the Triangle button until it fires. The gameplay is like I said, a base defense with the enemies falling down in "Waves", since you can't die by missing a lot of them, the game goes on forever until you lose your last life, and keep in mind, this game treats the 1 as the 0 of the game in pure Super Mario Bros. style. While at the first waves began easily with the enemies that make a simple zig-zag move making the charge shot plenty useless but in the later stages you'll be reaching the point that ALL of your weapons are useless. The reason of this is because the game doesn't provide you any power ups and you will be missing almost every enemy of the wave because they will go faster and in larger numbers and without power ups, your ship is fucking useless.
Yeah, that's supposed to be a boss.
Every once in a while you'll be fighting a boss which is very easy to take down and if its simple bullet patterns weren't bad enough, you can disable it by destroying its turrets turning into a sad, pathetic easy target.
Trophy progression is pathetic as usual when it comes to mediocre 1 dollar games: Reach 1500 points and there you go, the trophies and the Platinum are all yours at the cost of one fucking dollar.
But the mother of all fucking lies is the ad blurb: "Wave Buxters is a very old-school arcade space shooting game, it is as simple as that..." More like "Wave Buxters is a lazy-ass shooting game that needs your money."
The graphics are ugly as hell and its a shame because they look horrible and home-made sprite work for the most of the times, but the dirty effect to make them look retro is just horrible and does the opposite of being retro: Being "Neo-Horrible". While that's not noticed on YouTube videos, it does on your TV screen when you're playing it. The music is a bland pseudo-synth that combines some chiptune effects in this attempt to sound retro style. The voiced robotic dialogue is hard to understand due to the absurd robotization. "Soundwave Gone Wrong" could be the best description.
TRIVIA BUXTERS
- The title is pronounced "Bucks-ters".
Just pull the plug on it and end the show.
Bad gaming is rampant as always, and Wave Buxters does nothing to help this situation when it comes to find games at low prices. But ¿Who to blame? This is what happens when you are Sony and you try to be the Family Dollar (or Dollar Tree) of gaming and the providers only give you shit disgracing the good intention of the online store.
LESSON LEARNED: If a game (especially a shmup) originally costs 0.99 to 4.99, dodge it. It is more than sure that the fucking thing is nothing more than worthless shit.
Bustin' makes you feel good? Not with Wave Buxters, this gets 1/10 in the R-Scale:
Eda knows what "Unbearable Pain" means.