Chimpanzees are NOT nice or funny. They will mutilate you.

A place where you can chat about anything that isn't to do with games!
Post Reply
User avatar
Dylan1CC
Posts: 2325
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:23 am

Chimpanzees are NOT nice or funny. They will mutilate you.

Post by Dylan1CC »

Just figured I'd post this story as a warning to anyone here who thinks Diddy Kong or monkeys dressed up as people are a representation of the true nature of chimpanzees. That goes without saying, animals aren't cartoons but wait till you get a load of this mauling. Oh yeah, and after reading this you will probably A)clutch your family jewels, nose and foot in sympathy pain and B)you will vow never to let your kids or mate near one of these buggers. C)You will abandon the idea of owning a chimp

That said I know some chimps are nice and very sweet natured but from what I have read only ones raised from birth, even then they can be very unpredictable when adults. I have seen these animals in an entirely darker light ever since I saw an Oh yeah, and it goes without saying for many other wild animals but Racoons and kangaroos are evil too and not comical either Also, the article says they are investigating whether or not they had rabies. Based on all the things i have read and seen from chimps, you can bet they didn't need rabies to do this:

Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot.

Yeeeooowch. Pleease tell me there are no state fairs which have traveling "Have your child's picture taken with a chimp" shows.

Full article from yahoo news:
Chimpanzee Attack Doesn't Surprise Experts

Sat Mar 5, 9:02 AM ET Top Stories - AP


By KIM CURTIS and TERENCE CHEA, Associated Press Writers

HAVILAH, Calif. - Chimpanzees come across to the public as little darlings, often in diapers and always willing to hold hands. But they're really aggressors, primate experts say, more than capable of carrying out attacks as violent as one that left a man fighting for his life.

Chimpanzees Maul Man in California
(AP Video)



Generally weighing between 120 and 150 pounds with strength much greater than man, chimps in the wild are known to kill chimps from neighboring groups, hunt other primates and even attack humans.


"Male chimps are intensely territorial. They defend their territory against any perceived threat," said Craig Stanford, a professor at the University of Southern California who studies primate behavior. "Chimps can be violent at times just as humans can be."


On Friday, authorities continued to investigate how two chimps at an animal sanctuary escaped from their cage and mauled St. James Davis, 62. They were shot to death during Thursday's attack by the son-in-law of the sanctuary's owners, Virginia and Ralph Brauer.


Animal Haven Ranch, about 30 miles east of Bakersfield, has held state permits to shelter exotic animals since 1985. It is allowed to house up to nine primates at one time and is home to one spider monkey and six chimpanzees.


"A big part of the investigation will be figuring out whether the owners were in compliance with regulations," Sheriff's Cmdr. Hal Chealander said.


State wildlife and county health authorities were testing the chimps for rabies and other diseases that could affect the victims' health, Chealander said.


Davis, 62, and his wife, LaDonna Davis, 64, were visiting the sanctuary to celebrate the birthday of a 39-year-old chimpanzee, Moe, who was taken from their home in 1999 after biting off part of a woman's finger.


The couple had brought Moe a cake and were standing outside his cage when the two young male chimps, Ollie and Buddy, attacked the man.


Two other chimps, females named Susie and Bones, also escaped from the cage. They were recovered outside the sanctuary five hours later.


Susie and Bones could have played a role in the attack, primate experts said.


"We know that one of the most reliable predictors of increased male aggression is the presence of sexually receptive females," said Jeffrey French, a psychobiologist who studies primate behavior at the University of Nebraska, Omaha.


The chimps chewed off most of Davis' face, tore off his foot and attacked his limbs and genitals. Davis was transported to Loma Linda University Medical Center, where he had surgery late Thursday night.


The medical center would not release any information about Davis' condition on Friday. Hospital spokeswoman Julie Smith said the family requested confidentiality.


LaDonna Davis was bitten on the hand. She was released from the hospital Friday .


The Brauers would not speak to reporters, but a family friend gave a statement to The Associated Press, which read, "All of us here at Animal Haven Ranch are praying for the recovery of St. James Davis and LaDonna Davis."


"This is the only incident in 20 years of operation," the statement said.





People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have called on Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (news - web sites) to ban private ownership of exotic animals in California, citing the increasing popularity of keeping such animals as pets. The group said there have been more than 90 reported dangerous incidents nationwide involving primates since 1990.
Image
User avatar
alpha5099
Posts: 628
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:34 am
Location: Middlebury, VT

Post by alpha5099 »

How dare you slander Diddy Kong by even mentioning him in the context of these vile chimps! I know Diddy Kong. Diddy Kong is good peoples.

I heard about this from a bunch of friends at school. I'm a little disappointed, the story they referred to apparently ended with some odd line like "Moe was not involved in the attacks."
User avatar
LoneSage
Posts: 1070
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:28 am
Location: Harman's Room

Post by LoneSage »

Diddy Kong's good, but Lanky Kong..watch out for him.

Funny this is mentioned; I was watching the NG channel the other night and saw an episode about murderous chimps. I saw a video of chimps mauling one of their own. Tore off the dude's balls too.

With that said, APE SHALL NOT KILL APE.
User avatar
BulletMagnet
Posts: 14201
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 4:05 am
Location: Wherever.
Contact:

Post by BulletMagnet »

alpha5099 wrote:How dare you slander Diddy Kong by even mentioning him in the context of these vile chimps! I know Diddy Kong. Diddy Kong is good peoples.
Oh, how little you know.
User avatar
Thunder Force
Posts: 1773
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:21 am
Location: research and development facility for Vasteel Technology.

Re: Chimpanzees are NOT nice or funny. They will mutilate yo

Post by Thunder Force »

Dylan1CC wrote:Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot.
I think the monkeys have declared war on us.

We must take measures to stop this menace, by preemptively striking out at any monkeys we see at local zoos. A can of gasoline and a match should get us about even. :evil:
User avatar
Super Mega C
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Jan 27, 2005 2:26 am
Location: TN

Post by Super Mega C »

See, this is what happens when you attempt to elevate lesser animals to the status of "people". I mean come on, taking it a birthday cake for gods sake. Keep those lesser animals in their place. Put the damn dog outside.










I wonder if St. James Davis was catholic?
Button masher extrordinaire
"and on the eighth day, he stopped resting"
User avatar
The n00b
Posts: 1490
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:31 am

Post by The n00b »

and what was he doing while these chimps were kicking his ass? I mean come on the guy should have embraced his inner animal and shown those chumps why we evolved and they're still sniffing each other's asses. A human bite is one of the deadliest out there, so leave the pride at home and bite them if they bite you.

As for kangaroos sure they're dangerous when your back is turned but there is a reason that kangaroos have yet to be taken seriously as boxers. That's right they just can't compete with people.

I also have a problem with PETA. Prohibiting people from owning exotic animals is cool but they go too far. A parrot is not an "exotic animal." My parrot will tear the nuts off any hippie who tries to seperate him from his natural diet of beer and the crust of stuffed crust pizza.
Proud citizen of the American Empire!
User avatar
Dylan1CC
Posts: 2325
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:23 am

Post by Dylan1CC »

As noob said I have to wonder myself if he liked them too much to fight back. BTW noob, I am posting the "bite 'em back" comment in TNL thread I started on this. lol Seriously though, I would have too.
"Moe was not involved in the attacks."
That actually WAS quoted in one of the AP stories I read on it. ha And I won't let evil chimps ruin my memories of Donkey Kong Country. :(
Image
User avatar
Thunder Force
Posts: 1773
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:21 am
Location: research and development facility for Vasteel Technology.

Post by Thunder Force »

In light of this news, it's lucky Nintendo decided to cancel their new Donkey Kong game with this rather inappropriate title...

http://www.gamespot.com/gba/puzzle/donk ... tcrackers/
User avatar
Neon
Posts: 3529
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:31 pm

Post by Neon »

Heh, reminds me of that scene from Jay & Silent Bob
User avatar
Dylan1CC
Posts: 2325
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:23 am

Post by Dylan1CC »

Thunder Force wrote:In light of this news, it's lucky Nintendo decided to cancel their new Donkey Kong game with this rather inappropriate title...

http://www.gamespot.com/gba/puzzle/donk ... tcrackers/
lol I thoughtthat title was bad before this story. :P
Image
User avatar
Specineff
Posts: 5771
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:54 am
Location: Ari-Freaking-Zona!
Contact:

Post by Specineff »

God bless Charlton Heston and the NRA.

Get your stinking paws off my nuts, you stinky monkey! :evil:
Don't hold grudges. GET EVEN.
User avatar
U K Narayan
Posts: 145
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:25 am
Location: Denver, CO

Post by U K Narayan »

Furious George indeed.
Approach your target and attack! Your mission starts now! ARE YOU READY!?
User avatar
Thunder Force
Posts: 1773
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:21 am
Location: research and development facility for Vasteel Technology.

Post by Thunder Force »

I hope this doesn't affect sales of the new Super Monkey Ball
User avatar
Jon
Posts: 1114
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:46 pm
Location: Phoenix, Arizona

Post by Jon »

Wait, you mean not all chimps are adorable child like and cuddly like Virgil in the sappy flick Project X? I refuse to believe it! Seriously though this story is just horrible. Yes bringing your old pet (which happens to be a chimpanzee) a cake on its birthday seems a little goofy but you shouldn't have to worry about losing your genetalia and getting your digits chewed off while doing so. :shock:
Last edited by Jon on Tue Mar 08, 2005 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
dboeren
Posts: 137
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 3:09 am
Location: Atlanta, Georgia

Post by dboeren »

These people are 62 and 64 years old. No offense meant, but a lot of retired age people have trouble filling their time. That's probably why they went to visit Moe with a bithday cake, just looking for something interesting to do.

I hadn't heard of this story, but I have read/seen many times about how chimpanzees do coordinated attacks to kill monkeys and such. They actually cooperate to achieve the kill.
Currently playing: Gunbird 2 PCB
User avatar
Specineff
Posts: 5771
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:54 am
Location: Ari-Freaking-Zona!
Contact:

Post by Specineff »

^^ Sounds like there's a monkey mafia in the jungle, then. :P
Don't hold grudges. GET EVEN.
User avatar
landshark
Posts: 2156
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 5:27 am
Location: Chicago 'Burbs

Post by landshark »

More info on similar attacks:

http://lists.ibiblio.org/pipermail/monk ... 00678.html

Man, I thought we had problems with canadian geese. I would love to go out there with my bow and see how many of those feathered rats I could take down. I HATE THEM!

In case the link goes down:
Article wrote:State In Monkey's Shadow
Without a containment plan, the man-monkey conflict spreads alarmingly
PRAMILA N. PHATARPHEKAR, CHANDER SUTA DOGRA
http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fo ... +(F)&sid=1

Magazine | September 27, 2004

Purnima Verma always scans the outdoors carefully through her heavily
grilled front window before leaving her home in Ghaziabad, Uttar
Pradesh. She'll step out only if she doesn't see a rhesus monkey.
Even then it's only with a heavy stick. The 35-year-old homemaker
doesn't want a repeat of what happened in July, when a monkey attack
left her with a mangled arm, a scratched face and a ripped ear.

At least Verma survived. Two-month-old Kajal Pandey wasn't so lucky
this January. She was asleep at the Pandey home in Delhi's Lakshmi
Nagar when a monkey slipped in, bit her and gouged out her eye. When
her mother Kanchan swung a bucket at it, the creature smashed Kajal's
head on the floor. The hospital declared the infant dead on arrival.
The Pandeys soon moved out, terrified that monkeys would attack
Kajal's twin, Payal.

Another attack on August 29 claimed 60 victims. These weren't humans;
they were rhesus macaques stuffed into sacks and clubbed to death
before being dumped in the fields of Basana, Haryana. S.K. Dhar,
chief forest conservator, Haryana, says: "This is a highly sensitised
village; the motive was clearly communal mischief."

Unpleasant man-monkey faceoffs are becoming a terrifying part of
everyday life across India. The worst affected are northern states
like Delhi, UP, Haryana and Himachal Pradesh, where the worship of
Hanuman and the feeding of rhesus macaques (considered his living
avatar) is widespread. Humans have actually begun to cage themselves
into houses and offices to escape the monkey menace. 'Simian vermin'
too are being captured and put into barred shelters.
Jammu and Kashmir (where the late music producer Gulshan Kumar sent
fruits by the truckload for the monkeys at Vaishno Devi temple),
Andhra Pradesh, Kerala and Kerala are also struggling to cope with
aggressive monkeys that forage in troops up to 200 strong.

A monkey attack can lead to rabies and death. People in many areas
have changed their habits. "I can't feed my daughter on the balcony,
I've stopped making pickle, drying papad or clothes on my terrace,"
says Sunita Verma, a school teacher from north Delhi's Timarpur area.

Iqbal Malik specialises in the study of primates, a class to which
both man and monkey belong. She says India's rhesus macaque
population has jumped from 2 lakh in 1980 to 5 lakh now. Some 50-60
per cent of these live in urban areas, where abundant food at
temples, homes, markets and garbage dumps is leading to a rise in
their numbers.

Delhi alone has 5,000 marauding macaques, who've stormed the
corridors of power around Parliament, temples, residential areas and
hospitals. Institutions like the Air Force Bal Bharati School have
employed langurs (larger black-faced monkeys) to scare away macaques.
It isn't easy. Some determined macaques climbed all the way to the
17th floor of a high-rise apartment building in Gurgaon outside
Delhi. "Seeing mean red faces in the window was terrifying," says
Tanuja, a TV producer. Luckily her balcony was enclosed. Her
neighbour's wasn't and the simian troop duly raided the refrigerator.

Dinesh Sharma, officer in charge of rabies control, Municipal
Corporation of Delhi (MCD), says 1,603 people took anti-rabies
vaccines after monkey attacks in 2003 at MCD clinics and
dispensaries. That's more than a two-fold increase in monkey bites
from 671 in 2002. Since this excludes central government hospitals,
and private clinics and the richer New Delhi Municipal Corporation
area, the figure indicates just a part of the problem.

In the holy city of Vrindavan, residents have caged themselves into
grilled and barred houses. "The devout had been feeding monkeys here
for centuries," says wildlife biologist Rajat Bhargava, "But simian
aggression has reached alarming proportions.Besides demanding food,
macaques damage phone, electricity wires." In 1996, he and Malik
attempted a translocation of over 600 monkeys from Vrindavan to
habitats 50 km away".

But the threat continues, given that there are usually 10,000
visiting pilgrims who feed monkeys or present opportunities by
carrying food," he adds.

It's humans who must take the blame. Till a 1978 ban, India was the
world's largest rhesus macaque exporter (they were used for
biomedical research). A haphazard trapping of 'individuals' from
troops led to what Malik calls "chaotic fissioning" where monkeys
later formed single units for safety. This resulted in the subgroups
requiring more space.

Psychologically, they changed. "Suckling youngsters separated from
their mothers became depressed, while the mothers got more
aggressive," says Malik. And dwindling forest cover encouraged them
to move to towns, where abundant food would help them breed well.
Right now, the tourist haven of Shimla, under siege from 2,000
macaques, is trying to relocate the simians. A public interest
petition was filed in the high court asking that the Union
environment ministry direct the wildlife department to rid the state
of monkeys. The court directed the government to frame a
first-of-its-kind plan, following which around 700 macaques were
picked up from Shimla and translocated to jungles last week. Yet the
results have not been encouraging.

In 2002, when macaques were released in Haryana's Morni forest, they
preyed on the eggs of jungle fowl and khaleej pheasants. The same
thing happened in Keoladeo National Park in 2003, where they ate the
eggs of painted storks and resident birds. Since post-translocation
studies have not been carried out, other conflicts might have been
missed, adds Bhargava.
In Hanuman-worshipping north India, Tuesdays and Saturdays are bounty
days when macaques are fed. But smart as they are, monkeys can't read
calendars; for them anyone carrying food on any day is a potential
feeder. People resisting their hungry advances are fair game for
attack.

Meanwhile, militant political outfits like the Bajrang Dal, who
identify themselves with the Hanuman cult, are making a sacred cow
out of the monkey. Joining forces with them are sweet, snack and
fruit vendors, who profit from the feeding. As a result,
translocators get threatened with lines like: "Take away our monkeys
and we will release pigs in dargahs."
"These people should care for the monkeys and not create health and
living hazards," reacts a frustrated wildlife official.

No one seems to want new monkeys, holy or not, which makes
translocation hard. As petitions for monkey translocation pile up,
forest officers don't want them, nor zoos, nor small towns and
villages. Delhi only has a temporary shelter for 250 monkeys.

There is a dire need for a solution. Whatever form it ultimately
takes, as the most intelligent species on earth, Homo sapiens owes it
to the rest of the planet to find a humane solution to this primate
predicament.
User avatar
Dylan1CC
Posts: 2325
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:23 am

Post by Dylan1CC »

I remember reading last year about the macaque plague in India. Religious veneration of animals and greedy snack vendors have pretty much rendered Dehli and part sof India immobile huh? Pathetic. IIRC even Ghandi's daughter was speaking on behalf of their "protection." Yeah, help them achieve dangerous overpopulation, that's a great way to further a species' interest. :roll:

It's not fair to the monkeys either, I feel sorry for the fact human ignorance has made the macaques a bad situation but...gimme a rail gun and I'd gladly switch up the critters "holy" diet from fruit and snacks to high lead content.

EDIT: And that goes for the baby eating, mutilating chimps too. I'll give ya a mouthful to chew on, grrrr
kong
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 4:44 am

Post by kong »

It's a horrible story. No unarmed human being could have fought off four grown chimps. Those things weigh up to 200 lbs and are 5 times the strength of an average man. Throw in a set of teeth that are downright nasty and you are going to be in a world of hurt.

The chimps that escaped probably saw the couple and their pet chimp as a rival chimp family. Territorial battle ensues and it's bad news for the elderly couple.

I saw an interview with a primate expert and they were talking about how unusual the level of violence was in the attack. They nonchalantly stated that usually a chimp would just rip off your ear or bite off a few of your fingers. Don't think I"ll be rushing out to purchase a pet chimp any time soon.
User avatar
CecilMcW00t
Posts: 329
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 5:12 am
Contact:

Post by CecilMcW00t »

I heard that they gouged out the dude's eyes too... >_<
"I've always wanted a thing called Tuna Sasimi!"
User avatar
UnscathedFlyingObject
Posts: 3636
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:59 am
Location: Uncanny Valley
Contact:

Post by UnscathedFlyingObject »

Chimps are so violent they learn to shoot Uzis before they learn to use the toilet.

Play Metal Slug 3 and see for yourself.
"Sooo, what was it that you consider a 'good salary' for a man to make?"
"They should at least make 100K to have a good life"
...
User avatar
landshark
Posts: 2156
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 5:27 am
Location: Chicago 'Burbs

Post by landshark »

User avatar
IlMrm
Posts: 861
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 6:52 am
Location: San Francisco, CA USA

Post by IlMrm »

I once saw a documentary about chimps going to other rival clans, stealing their young, then eating them. Not a pretty sight.
Post Reply