Joke: Invent your own PS3 "special ability" here.

Super Laydock · Post by **Super Laydock** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:18 pm

In an attempt to cater for new target groups:

PS3 will bring you breakfast on bed every day!

Blade wrote: Rumor has it Sony is planning on using a version of Microsoft Windows as its Operating System.

Wasn't it supposed to have Linux on board?

icycalm · Post by **icycalm** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:03 pm

The PS3 will suck... c**k!

popawell · Post by **popawell** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 4:41 am

The PS3 will have the ability to turn into a metal slug and vaporize your annoing neibors, crappy drivers, and George Bush!!!!!!

No_not_like_Quake · Post by **No_not_like_Quake** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 5:59 pm

The PS3's REALITY SYNTHESIZER (an nvidia rsx...) can burn TRUE (as apposed to false) High Definition sexual fantasies right to your brain.

Do you have Cell in your toaster? No? Then your toaster is so last generation.

Regulus · Post by **Regulus** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 8:50 pm

The PS3 is powerful enough to render graphics at a molecular level. Models are made up of millions of tiny "graphical molecules" that will give things a photorealistic appearance.

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:05 pm

This thread wins the internet.

99pence · Post by **99pence** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:35 pm

FatCobra · Post by **FatCobra** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 11:20 pm

howmuchkeefe wrote: It will also be able to access any designated hard drive within a 300 mile radius through its own proprietary communications protocol, created by Sony in joint conjunction with God. You know what this means? -You got it, say good bye to those stupid memory cards.

EDIT: These seem a little more spec related. Apologies to the thread creator!

If we still have to buy memory cards in the next generation, I'm going to Microsoft's, Sony's, and Nintendo's offices, and crack some dumbass exectutive skulls! Every new console should be equipped with a harddrive as standard equipment.

I've gone one: If any PS2's or other consoles are in close proximity of the PS3, it will assimilate them into it's collective. Wait, isn't that Microsoft's job?

Ceph · Post by **Ceph** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:13 am

The PS3 will run at a higher resolution than REALITY itself, with more frames per second, featuring higher quality sound. And it will walk your dog and drive your kids to school.

Thunder Force · Post by **Thunder Force** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:33 am

The entire internet will be able to fit onto a single Blu-ray disc, with room to spare.

Unlike the ugliness of Xbox Live, the Sony PS3 online service will be automoderated by next-gen Sony A.I.s evolved from the AIBO, which will provide 24/7 monitoring of all online games - and instantly "snow crash" the brains of users who try to scream racist obscenities into their microphones or display their wang on video chat.

The PS3 will eliminate the need for a display screen at all, by projecting directly onto the air like this.

captain ahar · Post by **captain ahar** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:13 pm

the blue ray discs will be backwards compatible with playstation, ps2 and even the aborted disc venture with nintendo. so the discs will carry versions of the game for all 4 platforms.

the games will work.

the games will use "real time" graphics.

as part of the online service, along with the buddy list, there will be a "hit list" menu. sony, in an effort to make users feel they spent there money well (and thus, continut to invest in games, peripherals, and aboriginal hunting impliments), will have those people on you list assassinated at random. the service will be complimentary up to 5 hits, after that sony will institute a "pay to slay" program at 10k a head.

edit: it will also take pictures of your girlfriend undressing, and sell them on zee internet to save you the embarassment of doing it yourself. the sale account will, of course, be untraceable. sony gets 20% cut of profits.

Diabollokus · Post by **Diabollokus** » Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:59 pm

PS3 will play cartridges, and be backwards compatible with the genesis and SNES.