Joke: Invent your own PS3 "special ability" here.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:14 pm

All right folks, time to put the old noodle to some creative use.

Remember how we were promised "Toy Story-like graphics" and that the PS2 was so powerful it could guide a missile by itself?

Now let's come up with some hyped ideas for the PS3. Who knows, we might start the next overhyped rumor for this generation. (Probably the lack of such rumors for the PS3 it's because Sony really had to get Kutaragi to STFU.)

While comments like "I heard the PS3 can make Tacos" are welcome, try and keep it more in line with what we heard back in 2000 with the PS2.

Let the hype begin.

99pence · Post by **99pence** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:20 pm

On the back of the PS3 game boxes for 3D driving, sports, platform, adventure games it with refer to it as retro genres with updated graphics.

Just like the gaming media refer to new 2D games. Idiots.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:22 pm

I heard the PS3 can make cool threads on forums like this, on its own, using both the bluetooth and Wi-Fi connections.

99pence · Post by **99pence** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:27 pm

The PS3 will feature games with a complete lack of style. With the only quest for more and more 'realistic' graphics. Games will take 100 years to draw, the gameplay will be decided on in the last half hour of production.

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:31 pm

To put the inevitable overheating incidents to some good use, the system will include handy toaster slots!

OT, Spec, what momentous event prompted the return of the Eva-04 model avatar? I've always wondered in the back of my head why you let that thing out every once in awhile, heh heh.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:37 pm

Thanks for asking. I thought I had been using the "furry" motif for a while now, and since I'm feeling a bit ranty and mean as of today, well, I thought it was time to go back to the mean and cool looks of a mech. You won't be seeing any cute or funny anthropomorphic animals for a while. Heh heh.

FRO · Post by **FRO** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:38 pm

I heard the PS3 can make tacos!

Sorry, couldn't resist

The PS3 is supposed to have the ability to communicate with the dead. What do the dead say, you ask? "Bring back 2D gaming!"

FRO · Post by **FRO** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:40 pm

Specineff wrote:You won't be seeing any cute or funny anthropomorphic animals for a while. Heh heh.

Which is why I must bring balance to the force with my iPod Llama.

Super Laydock · Post by **Super Laydock** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:45 pm

Insert your DNA through the enhanced media bay and it'll faithfully reproduce you with it's capability to insert real persons and insert them into virtual life worlds of choice. Put on the headset to insert your thoughts and have the life you always wanted, but were afraid to ask for.*

*adult content is not officially endorsed or produced by SCEJ,SCEA,SCEE or any of it's affiliates.

jp · Post by jp » Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:41 pm

It can stop working after a month of owning it...

... oh wait...

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:43 pm

The curved top of the PS3 emits radiation-protection field. In case of a nuclear fallout, YOUR PS3 WILL SURVIVE!

sethsez · Post by **sethsez** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:53 pm

99pence wrote:On the back of the PS3 game boxes for 3D driving, sports, platform, adventure games it with refer to it as retro genres with updated graphics.

Just like the gaming media refer to new 2D games. Idiots.

99pence wrote:The PS3 will feature games with a complete lack of style. With the only quest for more and more 'realistic' graphics. Games will take 100 years to draw, the gameplay will be decided on in the last half hour of production.

Hurr.

People joking around with a non-serious topic? NOT ON YOUR WATCH!

Anyway. The PS3 will single-handedly bring peace to the middle east.

Post by **undamned** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:55 pm

The PS3 can replace your entire A/V rack!
-ud

Ganelon · Post by **Ganelon** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:36 pm

Given enough free space, the PS3 controller is aerodynamically designed to return to your hand when you throw it.

howmuchkeefe · Post by **howmuchkeefe** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:50 pm

The PS3 will make sex obsolete.

The PS3 will come with the movie Aliens burned into its PROM array.

The PS3 will be able to turn your recycleable trash into delicious curries.

The PS3's tears can cure cancer. Too bad it has never cried.

Post by **undamned** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:40 am

howmuchkeefe wrote:The PS3 will make sex obsolete.

The PS3's tears can cure cancer. Too bad it has never cried.

Dude, you know how to make me laugh

-ud

JBC · Post by **JBC** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 12:43 am

The PS3 has powers COMPARABLE TO WONDER BOY!!! A-rigga-goo-goo Rigga-goo-goo!

howmuchkeefe · Post by **howmuchkeefe** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:01 am

The PS3 will display images of such high resolution, at so many frames per second, you literally won't believe that The Sims could still be so god damned boring.

The PS3 will be able to, upon trying to open a media file, write a codec for it within seconds. It will also be able to access any designated hard drive within a 300 mile radius through its own proprietary communications protocol, created by Sony in joint conjunction with God. You know what this means? -You got it, say good bye to those stupid memory cards.

EDIT: These seem a little more spec related. Apologies to the thread creator!

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:15 am

Actually, those are good enough, being specs-related. Bring them on guys.

99pence · Post by **99pence** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:02 am

sethsez wrote:
99pence wrote:On the back of the PS3 game boxes for 3D driving, sports, platform, adventure games it with refer to it as retro genres with updated graphics.

Just like the gaming media refer to new 2D games. Idiots.

99pence wrote:The PS3 will feature games with a complete lack of style. With the only quest for more and more 'realistic' graphics. Games will take 100 years to draw, the gameplay will be decided on in the last half hour of production.
Hurr.

People joking around with a non-serious topic? NOT ON YOUR WATCH!

Anyway. The PS3 will single-handedly bring peace to the middle east.

I meant I bet it make origami, etc etc

urh huyck huyck. ha cha cha chaa etc etc

UnscathedFlyingObject · Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:20 am

The PS3 can fight terrorism!
The PS3 can lift a ton!
The PS3 can make spec-acronym letter soup!
The PS3 can kill kittens!
The PS3 can open cans!
The PS3 can phuck like a b*tch!
The PS3 can do your laundry!

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:58 am

My PS3 is big
My PS3 has the hugest treads
for crushing heads

My PS3 is fight
My PS3 has armour plate
to save me from hate

My PS3 is for death
My PS3 has a great big gun
that fires bullets
that weigh a ton

I am me
I am my PS3

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:10 am

Ganelon wrote:Given enough free space, the PS3 controller is aerodynamically designed to return to your hand when you throw it.

I thought we were looking for FAKE features.

As in, the PS3's internal fan doubles as a ninja star, for ninja-related emergencies.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 3:35 am

^^ And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!11!!

zaphod · Post by **zaphod** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:48 am

OMG! The ps3's games will be in 16 bit planes. The ps3's games are live in a four dimensional space!

Oh wait, Mr. Kuturagi beat me to it.

ArrogantBastard · Post by **ArrogantBastard** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:19 am

The PS3 will have Emotion engine!

Vexorg · Post by **Vexorg** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 8:45 am

Who needs Cell when you've got Vasteel technology?

JBC · Post by **JBC** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:03 am

The PS3 can do true blast processing!

MOSQUITO FIGHTER · Post by **MOSQUITO FIGHTER** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:23 am

Buy a Playstation 3, and all your wildest dreams will come true.

According to Sony, the best game console in the known universe is the Playstation 3. It has the effect of having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon... wrapped around a large gold brick.

Blade · Post by **Blade** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 10:38 am

circuitface wrote:The PS3 can do true blast processing!

^ Classic.

Rumor has it Sony is planning on using a version of Microsoft Windows as its Operating System. Basically we'll have two X-Boxes on our hands.

....Yeah, that's a real rumor.