Dick Stock

[Rue]

It's also coming to Steam, no pun intended. It's an H-shmup so take it for what you will.
The counter mechanic is also really fun, it reminds me a little of Samidare.

[drauch]

Who needs NSFW when you can MAW (make at work).



Really wanted that S at the end, but you get the idea.

[Stevens]

Giant ships aiming to blast off..



into space!

And I feel 40 of the 45 megs are shaft.

[Deadliar]

Only one ball though. Poor last resorters.

[drauch]

Sometimes my nuts pretty much just look like one ball, so I think it gets a pass.

[BIL]

Really wanted that S at the end, but you get the idea.

I'd leave it imo - PHALLUX is genuinely one of the cooler things to emerge from this thread. Don't know how I never saw it over the years! Ah, that SFC box is a prize.

youthful space adventures in the HMS Dildo Verde.

My own humble contribution to the Irem-style "round type" aka flying cyber-dildo coverart. THREE balls! Dude in back is all hooked up for maximum VR action!

[drauch]

Dear god. The way it kinda sags down... DEEPSTRIKER, indeed!

[BIL]

Speaking of IREM - excuse me you two, WTF r u doin?

Spoiler

IREM principle: There's ALWAYS a dick, even when there isn't

also 1) "LITHAL THUNDER" bahaha 2) "THE ENEMY IS FUTURE MANKIND OF ANOTHER PLANET!" rad tagline! Lacks the timeless menace of "It begins in deep space warped by evil power," but it's succinct!

[Sumez]

Okay you lost me there. I really don't see it. What am I looking for here?

[Deadliar]

Hot ship-on-ship action.

[BIL]

Okay you lost me there. I really don't see it. What am I looking for here?

GET WOKE SHITLORD (・｀W´・)

What you're seeing is the BLATANT NORMALISATION of OPPRESSIVE HETEROPATRIARCHICAL SOCIAL STRUCTURES via the medium of JAPANESE STG

THE PINK GIRLY ONE'S ON BOTTOM GETTIN THE D （＾ω´ ）

PROBABLY ENJOYING IT TOO, THE LITTLE HUSSY (O｀W´O)

[Sumez]

It took me a while to realise that was even two different ships. Damn airbrush artwork with no indication of depth.

[Deadliar]

Edited to remove expired links.

[djsheep]

JOY DICK TUTORIAL: http://sfmedialabs.com/the-joydick/

Spoiler

[Stevens]

No posts in 12 days? The shit?!

Known dicks are funny, discovered dicks are even better:



Pick is stock, but I never played Alpha Mission II before 15 minutes ago.

[BIL]

Reminds me of this ol' GameST classic!



(that's Goompalo's spirit animal on the left, truly appalled at what he's seeing )

[Stevens]

When these games were being programmed I imagine the creative conversations going something like this:

Picture them speaking Japanese:

Check this out!
Is that a dick?
YEAH!
HAHAHAHAHA. Leave it in! The Americans will never know!

[Deadliar]

That's signature worthy.

Giga Wing Stage 6 Boss - more than meets the eye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuJmoEfrLS4&t=0m50s

[BIL]

At first I was not convinced. (・｀ω´・) Seemed like a very nice guy, very sincere, in real good shape and has no fear.

Spoiler

BUT THEN (・｀W´・)!

Spoiler

Spoiler

Indeed, Goomp! I like how he pops an awkward boner in the middle of the scrap, but keeps on fighting! That's professionalism! Or maybe he just gets off to the carnage? You meet all sorts in this line of work.

Oh shi - victim of anti-dick bigotry detected!



Goomp, this is a case for you! Being a nun, she's been taught to hate the dick - just like you used to! But you know what they say about repression! ;3 After dinner and a movie with an expert Dick Squad agent like yourself, she'll soon be "crushing it" in an entirely different and much healthier manner!

---

At this stage of the investigation, with the continued approval of high command never to be taken for granted, I think it's time for a quick audit.

Needless to say... ( ・｀ω｀・)>⌐■-■

Back up your work, folks. (■｀ω´■)

---

ASSAULT SUITS VALKEN / Field Report "RAMROD RAID"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Don't attempt this without adequate foreplay. Dick Squad agents are expected to be considerate at all times. (■｀ω´■)

---

R-TYPE FINAL / Boss "GOMANDER & RICHARD"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: That's some serious flex - not to be attempted by amateurs. (■｀ω´■)

---

RAZION/ Midboss codename "WHACKER W/O SHAME"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Disgraceful. I like him. (■｀ω´■)

---

BROKEN THUNDER / Boss codename "BRAZILIAN WANDERING SPIDER"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Total body paralysis and debilitating priapism? See a doctor, you god damn fool. (■｀ω´■)

---

THUNDER FORCE IV / Midboss "GOOD SHIP HMS RICHARD"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Much better technique, BUT: burning sensation and fiery discharge? Another in need of medical attention. (■｀ω´■)

---

LAST RESORT / Midboss codename "BELLS A' PEALING"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Uncut salami represent. (■｀ω´■)

---

CONTRA SPIRITS / Midboss "PUNISHED RICHARD"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: See what I meant? Maintain your equipment, fools. (■｀ω´■)

---

DARIUS GAIDEN / Boss "TITANIC LANCE"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Still the reference standard for combined technical prowess and monster bulk. (■｀ω´■)

---

R-TYPE DELTA / Midboss codename "MIRACLE MEAT BLIMP"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: Horrific. I'm sick of telling you young people... STGS ARE OUT THERE, WRAP IT UP FFS. (■｀ω´■)

---

ELIMINATE DOWN / Field report "ASSAULT ON DICK MOUNTAIN" (special credit to Agent DEADLIAR)

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Chairman's note: A mountain of unrepentant dickery. Suspected involvement of infamous "CHO ANIKI" sex/death cult. (■｀ω´■)

---

CRYING: ASEIMI SENSOU / Boss codename "GIRTHWORM SLIM"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: What he lacks in bulk he makes up for with formidable performance! Take heart, chaps. (■｀ω´■)

---

SPACE PHALLUS / Field report "HIGHLY CLASSIFIED"

Spoiler

Chairman's note: I'm getting too old for this shit. (■｀ω´■)

[Stevens]

I would like to personally thank BIL for conveniently indexing this thread.

RE: Assault Suits Valken - The outer shell or hymen in this case just wasn't prepared. Superior engineered chastity belt may be required, or a shield. I can call it a shield still?

[drauch]

Finally! All my favorite dicks in one place

[NeoStrayCat]

Man, Bil, lol. But yeah, kinda funny to see this thread revived, and with good intentions, lol.

[Blinge]

Bit on the nose maybe

[Xyga]

[mainpatr1]

Just curious what game "Dick Stock" picture is from. It looks like a SNES game.

[Sumez]

If I recall correctly, it's a PC Engine one?

[BIL]

It's from Paradream, for MSX.

Stage 1 WOOD LAKE

[Stevens]

Almost a fucking year?!?!\

Not on my watch -

http://retrovania-vgjunk.blogspot.com/2 ... r-gen.html

Granted there are no new dicks per se - but it is a comical write up of the game that has given us more fodder for this thread than any other.

[drauch]

RISE FWOM YOUR GWAVE!



I didn't see this bad boy before. If It was already posted i'm not sorry because this thread is great and deserves another shot.

[BIL]

Ah, the lesser-feted fourth member of the Summer Carnival quartet - sadly we would never see the planned fifth entry for the PC-FX, the tentatively titled Al's a Prick.