Movies you've just watched

[Skykid]

Things I didn't like:

- Donnie Yen's performance
- Zero character development
- Forest Whittaker being the shittiest 'character' ever
- People dying for no reason
- Ludicrous plot developments
- Outrunning exploding planets
- Idiotic everything
- Unlikable protagonists
- Awful acting
- A face-punchingly useless lead with a dour face, zero charisma and zero acting ability
- A Spanish guy with an unintelligible accent who couldn't act
- An unfunny sarcastic robot
- A bad guy who couldn't act with unintelligible speech
- Shoehorned endless tributes to the OT
- Carrie Fisher's Toy Story CGI mugshot ending the movie
- Chronically awful script and dialogue
- Being bored
- Not being able to remember anybody's name, not caring if they lived or died
- Modern shaky cinematography that didn't fit the Star Wars universe
- Two massively underdeveloped shoehorned Chinese characters with no purpose to be in the movie except to appease Chinese audiences
- Gareth Edwards


"As good as the OT". What a fucking joke.

[Zen]

Alien Covenant (2017) - Ridley Scott

So, "full-retard", then?

Easier to get the good out of the way first, as there is so little of it;
Some beautiful imagery,
A few nice touches with familiar motifs in the score,
Michael Fassbender.

In fairness, we had due warning; if one is to judge a genetic book by it's cover, Danny McBride has no fucking place on the deck of a space craft. When, by process of elimination, he gets pilot the freighter . . . well, you can just imagine.
The "crew", in general, are imbecilic. The "i'll wait here, you go ahead", "you check downstairs" splitting-up tropes, are cancerous in this one.
Katherine Waterston seems to have a congenital tear duct issue. That facially unflattering, constant weeping is fucking infuriating

Also. I find this even more hilarious, having watched this farce.

Spoiler

too bad Katherine Waterston will prolly survive

Don't you just know it. She is going to be the sole human survivor "emoting" right out of the screen at you in the end.

Going on record now. If they make it Danny McBride, I will rate it 10 on IMDB regardless of anything else. This is Scott's one chance to shine.

We were all so very close


Concerning David.

Spoiler

When we see him dyeing his hair blond, I thought that maybe he was fanboying over O'Toole's Lawrence but here we see him ultimately enter his own Lebensborn, to Wagner's Das Rheingold - Entry of the Gods Into Valhalla!

His interaction at the beginning of the film with his "creator" Weyland (Volundr?) is interesting.

I suspect its all meaningless. The fuckers are just making shit up as they go along.

[emphatic]

Things I didn't like:

- Donnie Yen's performance
- Zero character development
- Forest Whittaker being the shittiest 'character' ever
- People dying for no reason
- Ludicrous plot developments
- Outrunning exploding planets
- Idiotic everything
- Unlikable protagonists
- Awful acting
- A face-punchingly useless lead with a dour face, zero charisma and zero acting ability
- A Spanish guy with an unintelligible accent who couldn't act
- An unfunny sarcastic robot
- A bad guy who couldn't act with unintelligible speech
- Shoehorned endless tributes to the OT
- Carrie Fisher's Toy Story CGI mugshot ending the movie
- Chronically awful script and dialogue
- Being bored
- Not being able to remember anybody's name, not caring if they lived or died
- Modern shaky cinematography that didn't fit the Star Wars universe
- Two massively underdeveloped shoehorned Chinese characters with no purpose to be in the movie except to appease Chinese audiences
- Gareth Edwards


"As good as the OT". What a fucking joke.

Does this mean you liked Tarkin? Or is that included in the "Shoehorned endless tributes to the OT"?

[soprano1]

Alien Covenant (2017)
that it's not very good. Prometheus had a clusterfuck of a plot, so I guess my expectations that this would be improved were misplaced. Shame.
Guess i'll just re-watch Alien and Aliens again.

[GaijinPunch]

Alien Covenant (2017) - Ridley Scott

So, "full-retard", then?

Pretty amazing how bad this looked from the previews, compared to how good Prometheus tricked us into it looking... More with less was a theme of the original Alien, and the Prometheus trailer to an extent. Unfortunately, not the Prometheus film. Covenant has B-movie with summer blockbuster budget written all over it from the get go. I will watch it, but only when it's out on video. Is it out on video? I still need to watch GiTS for some reason too, but not sure if I'd rather do nothing at all.

[soprano1]

Is it out on video? I still need to watch GiTS for some reason too, but not sure if I'd rather do nothing at all.

Yes, it's out.

[soprano1]

Ghost in The Shell (2017)
I liked the intro until the title, looked very well done. The music was nicely done, although i'm pretty bias for the synth stuff. The scenery was very GiTS, and the CG was actually adequate for the setting.
Kusanagi (or Killian Damn 4Kids ) was not only badly handled by Scarlet, but her acting was dull as hell.
All in all, it wasn't amazing, but i wouldn't say it was a bad experience.

[Skykid]

Alien Covenant (2017) - Ridley Scott

So, "full-retard", then?

Pretty amazing how bad this looked from the previews, compared to how good Prometheus tricked us into it looking...

I seem to remember saying, on here no less, that Prometheus looked bad from the trailers. That said the previews for Covenant are some of the worst I've ever seen for a high profile release. They may be *the* worst, in-fact...

[GaijinPunch]

I seem to remember saying, on here no less, that Prometheus looked bad from the trailers. That said the previews for Covenant are some of the worst I've ever seen for a high profile release. They may be *the* worst, in-fact...

Not sure how you'd have gotten that other than a guess... while it was basically a remixed version of the fog horn trailer (I do recall you moaning about that) it's impossible to discern any of the number of issues it has from the trailer. It had proper Alien cock-teasing, in the form of the engineer helmet, has a sense of dread, and doesn't show us the bad guy... (whomever that was). I think we've all learned by now not to trust trailers, but I'd never have written off Prometheus on the trailer alone.

We're in agreement on the Covenant trailer though. Fucking embarrassing. It is to the sci-fi/horror genre trailer as the Ghostbusters reboot is to the comedy trailer.

[Durandal]

Trailer for Die Hard 6: Death Wish

[Skykid]

I seem to remember saying, on here no less, that Prometheus looked bad from the trailers. That said the previews for Covenant are some of the worst I've ever seen for a high profile release. They may be *the* worst, in-fact...

Not sure how you'd have gotten that other than a guess... while it was basically a remixed version of the fog horn trailer (I do recall you moaning about that) it's impossible to discern any of the number of issues it has from the trailer. It had proper Alien cock-teasing, in the form of the engineer helmet, has a sense of dread, and doesn't show us the bad guy... (whomever that was). I think we've all learned by now not to trust trailers, but I'd never have written off Prometheus on the trailer alone.

We're in agreement on the Covenant trailer though. Fucking embarrassing. It is to the sci-fi/horror genre trailer as the Ghostbusters reboot is to the comedy trailer.

It was the acting and dialogue. Heard a few lines, sounded like shit; saw a few deliveries, looked like shit.

[boagman]

Trailer for Die Hard 6: Death Wish

Actually, that looks like fun! Pretty decently impressive cast, anyway: Bruce Willis, Dean Norris, Vincent D'Onofrio, and more. I'm not saying it'll be Oscar material or anything, but it does look like it could be entertaining. Shame on you for the "Die Hard 6" thing.

[Squire Grooktook]

Why aren't we boycotting reboots yet

[boagman]

Why aren't we boycotting reboots yet

It has been *quite* some time since the original. It's not like they're rebooting "Point Break" or anything...oh, sorry to have mentioned that.

[lilmanjs]

Heat
Still a classic from the 90s. That bank heist is still one of the best action scenes of the 90s.

Straight Talk
A guilty pleasure picked up on blu ray for less than $6. Dolly Parton and James Woods are the only real highlights of the movie and thank goodness they are the main stars.

[BrianC]

Why aren't we boycotting reboots yet

because Rise of the Planet of the Apes exists (though I heard the previous reboot before that wasn't too hot)?

[soprano1]

Journey to the West Demon Chapter (2017)
Sequel to the amazing 2014 movie, this one was great too. Amazing wardrobe and effects, great stunt work and fights, very nice humour too. Watch the first one then go see this one, worth it.

Sadako vs Kaiako (2016)
BARF. I'm an idiot to think this would be interesting to watch. For those wondering, it's the dead broads from The Ring and The Grudge facing off...

[EmperorIng]

F for Fake by Orson Welles.
For the next hour, this movie will concern itself strictly with the facts...

Second on my pack of Orson Welles flicks that I've acquired. This one is ridiculously good. It might be the most engaging and interestingly-shot documentary (sorta) ever made. The way that still-photo montages mix with archival footage, staged shots, all inter-stitched together is magical and marvelous. It's kind of a situation where what they are talking about begins to matter less than how it is presented, which is the real power of film.

I have to give extra props for Orson endlessly flaunting the hot Oja Kodar's body in front of the screen - particularly in the beginning where she is wiggling her ass walking around town for what seems like 5 or so minutes while capturing candid shots of men ogling her. Well done, Mr. Welles.

[Zen]

F for Fake by Orson Welles.
For the next hour, this movie will concern itself strictly with the facts...

Second on my pack of Orson Welles flicks that I've acquired. This one is ridiculously good. It might be the most engaging and interestingly-shot documentary (sorta) ever made. The way that still-photo montages mix with archival footage, staged shots, all inter-stitched together is magical and marvelous. It's kind of a situation where what they are talking about begins to matter less than how it is presented, which is the real power of film.

I have to give extra props for Orson endlessly flaunting the hot Oja Kodar's body in front of the screen - particularly in the beginning where she is wiggling her ass walking around town for what seems like 5 or so minutes while capturing candid shots of men ogling her. Well done, Mr. Welles.

Loved that film. Welles was unique.

[BurlyHeart]

Sicario

Second time watching it after seeing it on release. Very good film with good performances, music and visuals. Denis Villeneuve has to be one of my favourite directors.

It's a real shame he can't do the sequel. Hopefully it'll retain a similar style.

[rapoon]

F for Fake by Orson Welles.
For the next hour, this movie will concern itself strictly with the facts...

Second on my pack of Orson Welles flicks that I've acquired. This one is ridiculously good. It might be the most engaging and interestingly-shot documentary (sorta) ever made. The way that still-photo montages mix with archival footage, staged shots, all inter-stitched together is magical and marvelous. It's kind of a situation where what they are talking about begins to matter less than how it is presented, which is the real power of film.

I have to give extra props for Orson endlessly flaunting the hot Oja Kodar's body in front of the screen - particularly in the beginning where she is wiggling her ass walking around town for what seems like 5 or so minutes while capturing candid shots of men ogling her. Well done, Mr. Welles.

Loved that film. Welles was unique.

at this point in his career, Welles has become so colossal it appears gravity may collapse under him and form a black hole. he spends the entire film slobbering on red wine and giblets. by the end, he's utterly shit-faced; watching him attempt to communicate is comical and reminiscent of a Bukowski poetry reading. I enjoyed it, but Welles took up space (pun intended) that could have been devoted towards additional Elmyr de Hory time.

[wgogh]

Going for that one very soon. Only watched Citizen Kane and The Trial (adaptation of Kafka's book) from Orson Welles.

[Zen]

at this point in his career, Welles has become so colossal it appears gravity may collapse under him and form a black hole. he spends the entire film slobbering on red wine and giblets. by the end, he's utterly shit-faced; watching him attempt to communicate is comical and reminiscent of a Bukowski poetry reading. I enjoyed it, but Welles took up space (pun intended) that could have been devoted towards additional Elmyr de Hory time.

Although I understand your critique, it makes me love Wells all the more. He was ridiculously talented. He was also an accomplished grifter . Watching him shit-faced, giving "art" a kicking in a film about fraud, always added to the flavour of the thing, for me

[GaijinPunch]

Inside Llewyn Davis

Meant to see this on release, but such films don't have long runs in Japan, and I recall doing a lot of traveling around this time. Solid efforts all around, but as per usual in a Coen Brother's effort, John Goodman steals the show a bit. The music, as well, was top notch. Dug a bit deeper to find out almost all performances were performed by their actors. My only complaint is that they went with a very cool color balance. If any film should have been in technicolor, or even some type of psuedo-kodachrome (even if digital) it was this.

[soprano1]

Doctor Strange (2016)
Not too bad. The trippy effects were great, but the humour attempts seemed too out of place.
Don't know much about the character, other than what i saw in the 90's Spider-Man Animated series, tbh.

[Zen]

Boogie Nights (1997) - Paul Thomas Anderson

(Just finished watching it so I'm a bit ranty, sorry )
Disclaimer; when this was released in 97, I had zero interest in seeing it as I felt it had nothing for me, so I probably still held that bias watching it even now.

A rag tag group of grossly uninteresting, untalented human waste, become a family.
Is that it or did I miss something here? Was the "point" that it was supposed to be awful? There were a lot of themes but they seemed clumsily thrown, like shit to a wall hoping some will "stick"
And was it just me, or was there a Pulp Fiction vibe wanting to come out of the closet all the time?
Anderson also gave the strong impression of trying too hard (that reference to Vince's Gym felt pedantic).

The final monologue in the dressing room, in front of the lighted mirror . . . Fuck off with the cinema references, it was just Jump the shark salesmanship.
As if Paul Thomas Anderson had not already prostituted his craft enough, in a film about porn, he has "Dirk Diggler" whip out his cock to the mirror in the final shot?!
All it was short was a De Niro voice-over for the cock "You lookin at me?! I'm da boss, I'm da boss, I'm da boss . . . . .

So was the cock scene besides being needless, desperate and comic, a commentary on the fact that Anderson had to include the money shot to fill seats by word of mouth and and at the same time sneering at the audience for being the "Johns"?
Is this some meta-whoring shit, that I'm not getting here? Or is it just Anderson throwing shit at a wall.

I feel this was a big step down from even his previous and first feature length film, Hard Eight (1996), which also makes much better use of John C. Reilly and also, obviously, Philip Baker Hall.

I'm glad I watched this last in the line of Anderson films. Otherwise I might have not bothered with the rest.

[Mischief Maker]

Sounds like that cock shot elicited a little more from you than you expected.

[soprano1]

G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra (2009)
Shit, except for Snake Eyes.

G.I. Joe Retaliation (2013)
Also shit, except for Snake Eyes and Cobras Commander's nice looking suit.

[Zen]

Sounds like that cock shot elicited a little more from you than you expected.

Well, you beat Blinge to it, so I guess I will have to give you credit for that.

[Mischief Maker]

Sounds like that cock shot elicited a little more from you than you expected.

Well, you beat Blinge to it, so I guess I will have to give you credit for that.

Well it's not like you didn't paint a giant bullseye on your ass.