Movies you've just watched

[Ixmucane2]

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

An all-in sentimental/comedy: Peter the very abandoned orphan meets his father at last, with highly ambivalent feelings on both sides; meanwhile, Peter's crush develops into a proper love story; his girlfriend also recovers a positive relationship with her sister, who stops hating her; his goofy sidekick meets the right girl to fall in love; his badass companion discovers the power of being nice; a beloved friend dies with lots of mourning; silly misunderstandings with dangerous people keep our heroes moving.

Of course this is all very, very wrong. Peter is Star-Lord, supposedly a hero, but due to disagreements with his father

Spoiler

he ends up apparently losing whatever vague powers he had.

Peter's newly secured girlfriend is the formerly fearsome Gamora, now a caring, mature, almost motherly figure. Gamora's sister is Nebula, apparently not a psycho supercriminal any more; she might marry Kylo Ren in the next sequel. The goofy sidekick is Drax, apparently ready to forget about his tragic past; at least, he laughs a lot. Rocket, in order to show improvement, starts by behaving like an irrational jerk. The mourning includes a beautiful Ravager funeral; the "bad guys" are the pathetic Sovereign, a race of haughty but inept gold-skinned neurotic nerds who, realistically, should have been eaten by low-level wandering monsters.

Apart from characters, tone is also painful: serious moments and issues are "lightened" (actually wasted and ruined) with silly lines and distractions, the expected saving-the-galaxy business manages to be both a disturbance and a boring job, a disturbing number of mooks is slaughtered.

[GaijinPunch]

I'm not the only one listless by IMDB shutting down its forums, am I?

I rarely used them but in a time of need, they were useful.

[Vexorg]

Joe Versus the Volcano: *1/2

Basically a 30 million dollar B-movie. For comparison, the Michael Keaton Batman movie made a year earlier cost $35 million to make.

It feels like they took their budget and spent $25 million on the actors (Tom Hanks as the lead and Meg Ryan inexplicably playing three different characters), $5 million on the production and about $12 in change they found under the couch cushions on a script. Pretentious writing filled with long blustery speeches and pretentious "Look how clever I am!" Backgrounds and props, special effects (for what little that use) that feel ten years out of date, horribly racist depiction of the island natives, and a rambling disjointed plot that keeps going off into the weeds before finally unfolding into a non-ending ending that answers basically nothing. If this was a better film there would probably be no shortage of crazy fan theories to explain all of it, but in spite of the film apparently earning "cult" status I just see lazy writing. Not the worst film I've seen recently. But pretty close.

Spoiler

Apparently the fact that they fell in love means that it doesn't matter that an entire island full of people just died a horrible fiery death. Nor does it matter that they will probably die of thirst within a few days on their makeshift raft of expensive suitcases stranded in the middle of the ocean.

[Leandro]

I'm not the only one listless by IMDB shutting down its forums, am I?

I was a member for more than a decade and used to read and post regularly... Also had an habit of going straight to the message board of a film I finished... Really, whoever decided/had a hand on shutting down those boards should burn in hell

[neorichieb1971]

Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2.

Have not researched whom the writers are, but they can make a better Star Wars movie than the Stars wars writers can. If you want a star wars epic story with inter galactic goons and cartoon characters, matched to a groovy soundtrack this is the place to look. I know you'll all go and watch the next star wars movie and probably love it, but if your like me you'll probably end up believing there is better out there already.

[emphatic]

Guardians Of The Galaxy 2. 5/5

I loved it, my kids loved it too.

[boagman]

Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2.

Have not researched whom the writers are, but they can make a better Star Wars movie than the Stars wars writers can. If you want a star wars epic story with inter galactic goons and cartoon characters, matched to a groovy soundtrack this is the place to look. I know you'll all go and watch the next star wars movie and probably love it, but if your like me you'll probably end up believing there is better out there already.

I'm actually keeping my expectations in check for this one. The first one went well beyond them, so I'm expecting some free fall from this one.

I liked Episode VII quite a bit, but thought that Rogue One was pretty darned "meh", with a small exception or two, which didn't justify the movie's existence, to my mind. I don't know where that leaves me.

[neorichieb1971]

Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2.

Have not researched whom the writers are, but they can make a better Star Wars movie than the Stars wars writers can. If you want a star wars epic story with inter galactic goons and cartoon characters, matched to a groovy soundtrack this is the place to look. I know you'll all go and watch the next star wars movie and probably love it, but if your like me you'll probably end up believing there is better out there already.

I'm actually keeping my expectations in check for this one. The first one went well beyond them, so I'm expecting some free fall from this one.

I liked Episode VII quite a bit, but thought that Rogue One was pretty darned "meh", with a small exception or two, which didn't justify the movie's existence, to my mind. I don't know where that leaves me.

Star Wars movies are just lost in my eyes. The thing that made the original 3 was what is making Game of thrones brilliant to watch now. The meeting between 2 main characters and what happens next.

Whilst Star wars has been continued into 7,8,9 none of the characters actually have enough mystique and we do not know the end game yet. So it all sort of drags along. The villains in Star wars are incredibly weak, naive and never have a gameplan that works. Its completely unimaginable how they rose to power in the first place. Mind you, in episodes 4,5,6 I thought the bad guys were truly worthy of being badass. Even the music is weak in the latest movies. Just cut and paste and it would feel more like a star wars movie.

Guardians of the galaxy promises nothing but delivers in spades. You could imagine Han Solo in that universe. All is owned by Disney. But eventually I am sure Guardians of the Galaxy will hit the kids generation of the 2000's like Star Wars did for the 1970's generation of kids.

[Mischief Maker]

You guys interested in Star Wars-esque movies from original series should check out Firefly and its capper film Serenity.

[BryanM]

Firefly is nothing like Star Wars. It has actual characters in it, and stuff.

[boagman]

You guys interested in Star Wars-esque movies from original series should check out Firefly and its capper film Serenity.

Oh, wow...I mean, those are way, *way* different things. I stinking *love* Firefly and Serenity (I was actually introduced to the whole thing at the movie theater, having *zero* idea what Serenity was, or anything like that, and *loved* the movie an absolute ton...still do), but there really isn't any comparing it to anything Star Wars.

[NYN]

Arrival.
With a film like that I could shed my phobia about the Blade Runner sequel. But more than this I'm looking forward to a new Dune. Someone has still to nail it.

[Skykid]

I thought Guardians of the Galaxy was fun and mostly enjoyable, but I don't know why people consider it the second coming of the movie Christ.

Some ok humour, a lot of really tired American 'film' humour, and the green chick was shit.

[Vexorg]

The Prestige: **1/2

A rather dark Christopher Nolan film (not sure he knows how to do any other type) about two stage magicians in Victorian England who become rivals and try to destroy each other. Eventually devolves into utter nonsense, where one has a reasonably plausible modus operandi for his trickery, but the other has to rely on what basically amounts to sci-if gobbledygook. Which seems to be pretty much par for the course for "magic" films.

[neorichieb1971]

I thought Guardians of the Galaxy was fun and mostly enjoyable, but I don't know why people consider it the second coming of the movie Christ.

Some ok humour, a lot of really tired American 'film' humour, and the green chick was shit.

Saying its better than the latest Star wars efforts is not calling it the second coming of the movie christ. I just didn't leave the cinema disappointed after watching both movies. I came out of both SW7 and Rogue disappointed.

Guardians definitely entertains especially in a movie theater environment. The 2nd movie is better than the 1st to me. Its funnier and generally more entertaining. But you'll probably wonder what roles Kurt Russell and Stallone play. Kurt Russell has a 80's throw back scene in which the Special effects are better than Grand Marf Tarkin in Star wars, and certainly a lot better than Leia.

[GaijinPunch]

Heat

Another one I had to expose the gf to. She loved it. Despite being a film in the mid-90's trying to be cool and high tech, I feel it's aged quite well. After picking up a landscape camera, I'm appreciating even more directors that make full use of the 2.35:1 aspect ratio (even though my camera is a staggering 2.91 to 1). Looks like a "definitive edition" is coming out next month. Doubt I will pick it up as I'm pleased w/ my current one.

[Skykid]

Day of the Dead

Always liked this one, mostly for the 80sness and Tom Savini's terrific SFX. That said, it suffers from Romero tryhard in which the allegorical subtext his zombie flicks stumbled into have suddenly become the driving force of the dialogue. It lacks subtelty. The military goons in general are embarassingly and annoyingly OTT, like a pack of hyenas whooping at every tiny and unfunny thing; and in general the movie suffers from a severe case of overacting under Romero's instruction.

I do appreciate it's conciseness though, even if some of the monologues ramble on minutes past their due date, and Bub is a memorable zombie character.

[soprano1]

Day of the Dead

Always liked this one, mostly for the 80sness and Tom Savini's terrific SFX. That said, it suffers from Romero tryhard in which the allegorical subtext his zombie flicks stumbled into have suddenly become the driving force of the dialogue. It lacks subtelty. The military goons in general are embarassingly and annoyingly OTT, like a pack of hyenas whooping at every tiny and unfunny thing; and in general the movie suffers from a severe case of overacting under Romero's instruction.

I do appreciate it's conciseness though, even if some of the monologues ramble on minutes past their due date, and Bub is a memorable zombie character.

I love the asshole boss, even dying he was an asshole: "Choke on'em!!!"

[Skykid]

Ha ha, yeah, in character until the last

Apparently this is Romero's favourite of the trilogy.

[Durandal]

http://chinafilminsider.com/classic-198 ... ome-movie/
I have absolutely no idea what the fuck Konami is doing.

[GaijinPunch]

http://chinafilminsider.com/classic-198 ... ome-movie/
I have absolutely no idea what the fuck Konami is doing.

Only way it will be worth it is if it stars the models from the US arcade marquee. It sounds fucking stupid though.

[Mortificator]

Much of IMDb's value is lost with the forums removed, but the site still performs a vital function by giving each movie a Parents Guide.

Parents should take caution during sex scenes in this film because they often contain graphic female nudity. For example, Charlize Theron exposes her vagina including her bush, breasts and of course nipples. Several fully nude women with VAGINA and BREAST visible.

A woman wears a metal bikini as Jabba's slave, which reveals lots of her breast and buttock cleavage.

Nala makes "bedroom eyes" at Simba, implying she wants to mate with him.

A robot is fired upon by a much larger robot, causing severe damage. He survives, but is then shot at by a fully armed SWAT unit, causing even more damage.

F*** (and its other derivatives like F-ing, f-you, etc.) is said 119 times counting Jim Morrison's singing (12 uses with "mother"), 36 s-words, c-nt is used once but can be missed, 3 uses each of words referring to the male genitals ("pr-ck" "c-ck" and "c-sucker"), 20 a-words (6 used with "hole"), and 20 uses of G*dd***/G*dd***it.

A bee sips what appears to be a Martini. A mosquito talks about drinking moose blood as if it is an exotic drug.

In a conversation, a man says he'll use an item to "get laid" and then there is talk about a slutty woman who was known to "suck" a lot of men.

Lee's best friend Randy gets shot in the neck and he chases and kills the people that shot him while driving. All of them were driving and Randy can't see well after he finishes the bad guys off. Randy dies in a hospital. This may upset some people.

Skeletons are frightening.

[emphatic]

As a parent, I often read the Parents' guide, but apart from Return Of The Jedi, I can't recall any of the other films you've quoted.

[BIL]

Oh, the parent's guide! I'd forgotten about that. Suddenly the forums don't feel quite so gone.

Several fully nude women with VAGINA and BREAST visible.

Nala makes "bedroom eyes" at Simba, implying she wants to mate with him.

A robot is fired upon by a much larger robot, causing severe damage. He survives, but is then shot at by a fully armed SWAT unit, causing even more damage.

Lee's best friend Randy gets shot in the neck and he chases and kills the people that shot him while driving. All of them were driving and Randy can't see well after he finishes the bad guys off. Randy dies in a hospital. This may upset some people.

SHOULDA BEEN @ HOME W/ HE FAMLY

[BrianC]

The skeleton one is from Raiders. The funny thing about that is that this is already said earlier on the page:

Twice in the movie half-rotted skeletons are shown. They are very frightening and in some cases, very disturbing.

[BIL]

Personally as a 9y/o shumpsforumer ghosts are much MUCH scarrier than skeeltens :O

Spoiler

[BryanM]

I know exactly the shot they're talking about. Spoiler'd to protect your delicate virgin eyes.

Spoiler

Dirty degenerate filth.

[BrianC]

I thought the pic was going to be this:

Spoiler

[lilmanjs]

Pickup On South Street
A pickpocket steals a lady's wallet on a crowded train. The movie never lets up on the pace once this happens at the start of the movie. Turns out she has a roll of top secret military stuff on microfilm. A good noir movie.

Kelly's Heroes
The best war comedy ever made. If you don't laugh at some point during this, you have no soul. Stealing gold has never been more fun to watch.

[BrianC]

X-Men Days of Future Past, the Rogue cut. I liked it quite a bit. Very different from the comic, but enjoyable in its own right. I like this version of Quicksilver much better than the version in Age of Ultron.