Ridley Scott's Alien Covenant prologue "Last Supper"...

[GaijinPunch]

too bad Katherine Waterston will prolly survive

Don't you just know it. She is going to be the sole human survivor "emoting" right out of the screen at you in the end.

Going on record now. If they make it Danny McBride, I will rate it 10 on IMDB regardless of anything else. This is Scott's one chance to shine.

[BryanM]

That's always been a keystone to the slasher genre that Alien came from - if you actually liked or got attached to the victims then you'd be less able to take delight in their slaughter. It'd become quite grotesque and miserable otherwise, like the murder porn genre.

That's why the cat and the newt in the first two movies live, and why the third movie has a very different vibe after murdering the newt and the dog.

That's also why the Alien franchise doesn't have legs - the monster is all that endures and the monster here isn't inherently interesting. Frederick Krueger has things to say, while "boo I'm a ghost" doesn't.

BIL's idea of an anthology would be the way you'd go if you wanted to make something arty and good, but it would require leaving the facehumpers and xenos in the past, where they belong. Too radical and scary a leap to take, when millions are still willing to pay for good 'ole reliable schlock.

Who needs ability when you have nepotism.

Who needs nepotism when you have ability?!







THE BEES!!!

[Strider77]

Speaking as someone who fucks men in the ass: that scene was pretty gay.

I bet you're vers....

[BIL]

Occasionally, veeery occasionally, I'll potter about Dark Horse's long-running Aliens comics universe. They can be kinda fun. Anyway, one book in, "Prometheus: Fire And Stone" is both rollicking fun and crushingly predictable. Banter on the ship! The food is bad! Touchdown on terra firma, woohoo! Hey, wait a sec, what is this mysterious ruined locAWW HELL NAWW, ITS THOSE FAMOUS MONSTERS AGAIN - and aww sheeeit - as if that wasn't enough, turns out this mission aint what the top brass said it'd be! Now, we must attempt a harrowing escape. :O I cannot wait to see it on the big screen! Again!

Actually there is apparently some nutty

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Guyveriffic bodyhorror superpower going on later

which is daft but seems a damn sight more interesting than Prometheus's navel lint extravaganza.

I was also reading this nice essay on the original movie's paean to classic cosmic horror, featuring a lovely quote from Dan O'Bannon:

One especially insightful critic – I wish I remembered who – wrote that Alien evoked the writings of H.P. Lovecraft, but where Lovecraft told of an ancient race of hideous beings menacing the Earth, Alien went to where the Old Ones lived, to their very world of origin. He was right, that was my very thought while writing. That baneful little storm-lashed planetoid halfway across the galaxy was a fragment of the Old Ones’ homeworld, and the Alien a blood relative of Yog-Sothoth.

I do empathise with fans of Aliens' human themes re: The Ripley & Queenie Show, but that's little match for the infinite wonder and horror of an indifferent universe. I know, slowpoke.jpg, but for me it really crystallises the arse-gnashing Ouroboros this property almost instantaneously regressed into. To say nothing of SPACE JESU:

[they] are interesting entities not fully explained, but to keep an audience interested in those things it couldn’t be abstraction, it couldn’t be a purely ‘alien story’ about things we can’t relate to. It was going to have to be connected to our own story. Somehow the story of those creatures was going to have to be connected to the human story, not just our history but our fate to come.

OH STFU. You want human stoly?! Here it is, as it was and will be: BLACK VOID OF NIGHT. FACE-RAPING SHIT WITHIN. Season to taste with sleep of reason. To be fair, I thought Mr. Spaihts' original script sucked a lot less dick than the gust of smugly pooted-out nothing that one baldheaded fuck eventually did.

I got some closure from it all. 3; Roll on Space Chumps VI then. Dr. David Mengele looks like he might be a cool and crazy dude, even as he takes a sledgehammer to any notion of the alien being alien. Just what is he doing in that evil laboratory?! This muhfucka be buildin' he own facehugger! Shit be on remote control, runnin' up walls and shit! Oo guvna! :O

Fuck me, wouldn't it be great to swap O'Bannon and Stan Winston for George Lucas and some other similarly decrepit old cunt? v_v That's actually not a puerile jab at Mr. Scott, he probably just needs a minder to provide him with Horlicks and the occasional slap.

edit: hey this The Complete Fire & Stone thingy's not bad. Finished Prometheus, onto Aliens. Beats the hell out AVP and Prometheus, that's for sure (I know, not exactly shooting for the moon there).

[Zen]

That essay is a good read, thanks BIL.
I was not aware that the turning of the "pilot/space jockey" from the magnificent enigma that it was, into a helmet wearing/suited humanoid, was Scott's idea. Oh the fucking irony!
Scott said, way back in the day, that while filming Alien he had a dread of showing the creature (that boarded the Nostromo) in close-up, as he did not want the "oh, its just a man in a suit" response from the viewer.
Giger's creations made that film and Scott fucked him (and himself) over, with a bizarrely inferior vision. How can he now not be aware of the "man in the suit" film trope he once dreaded?

On first viewing Alien, I was I was completely drawn in. It was perfect up until the crew got back on board ship. Then it became JAWS in space. Fuck that.
For thirty plus years its just been get worse. Time to give up the ghost. All hope is lost. Scott and Lucas are not who we thought the were.
They are just a pair of fucking producers at best.

[BryanM]

Aw.... he edited out his reference to pet rape and I wanted to be whiny and pedantic by pointing out "actually, the cat's chastity was saved" but now I'm just whiny.

The bizarre unsightly narcissism involved in Space Jesus is indeed pretty gross. It's as bad as saying that God was made in man's image in the bible or those human interest pieces that swallow huge amounts of screen time on American Ninja Warrior. (You ever actually read Exodus, maaan? It says right there plain as day: Yahweh is a freaky alien medusa dude.)

Nigh on 37 years later, I still care more about the cat than all that shit.

So when ya'all are watching this, remember this thought: The actor who played the cat in the original Alien movie is dead.

Scott and Lucas are not who we thought the were.

They were exactly who I thought they were, but I'm a deviant weirdo who can see the gate through the fog

(It's not fair to compare the two imo. Scott is just a guy who wants to shoot movies and does his job. George is.. something else.)

[BIL]

I always had the impression the only person not shagging on the Nostromo was Ash, because he's already full to bursting with cum. But even in space, animals can't consent. So pet rape was a bit dark for that post tbh.

btw, holy fuck, Fire & Stone's AVP segment goes nuts. Now THIS I'd be enthused about seeing on the big screen. Totally unabashed soulful monster mash. None of that "uguu, the lobsterman liek the peoples" shit! Just monsters, in space, warring the fuck out! lmao, this is why I occasionally come back to the Dark Horse stuff.

[Ixmucane2]

After watching, the only explanation I consider possible is that such a substandard crew is intended as food or bait, presumably in a nefarious Weyland-Yutani plan to investigate/befriend/capture aliens; but the director that gave us Exodus: Gods and Kings and his team can easily make an impossibly bad film.

[Zen]

(It's not fair to compare the two imo. Scott is just a guy who wants to shoot movies and does his job. George is.. something else.)

Lucas is the Fisher King, gone mad from his wound. All he had to do was hold it and not fuck up.
Scott? I'm undecided. Surely he can not be as grossly unaware (see my previous post about "men in suits") as he appears and yet, like Lucas, Scott gives the impression through his actions that he blames us, the audience, for his failings; "here, have another shitty film you cunts! I'm getting paid "

[Xyga]

presumably in a nefarious Weyland-Yutani plan to investigate/befriend/capture aliens

My Little Xenomorph

[Squire Grooktook]

moe anthropomorphized xenomorphs when

[Xyga]

Just rule34 it.

[Squire Grooktook]

I can't get it up unless it's canon

[Xyga]

Fine. They do exist though.

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[BIL]

Some new images making the rounds. Here are a couple. Ah, morbid fascination ¦3

BOMBAAA

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"HE GOING TO KILL US"

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