Official "Games You Hate" Thread

[sethsez]

Because what it is doesn't interest me in the slightest. I don't like extremely rigid, only-one-way-through shmups, and Ikaruga is even more guilty of that than the R-Type series.

Now, if you're arguing that it's a well-made, polished game that simply isn't for me, well, so are quite a few other games that have been listed here. I'm taking this as a "list games you hate" thread, despite the title.

I can dig you not being interested in it or just flat out hating it. This thread is ripe for people to basically bash games without elaborating on why. I just question the logic behind criticizing something for not being something it isn't designed as. It's like that Stuart whats-his-name douchebag that was in here awhile ago who complained that the green laser in Raiden 3 didn't function exactly like the toothpaste laser in Raiden 2. It's fine to say the weapon sucks or whatever because it's worthless in the game, but to say it sucks because it's not exactly like the toothpaste laser in the earlier games just seems stupid. Know what I'm saying?

Well, it's not really any different from people bitching about Madden because they hate football or Gran Turismo because they'd rather play an arcadish racer or [insert FPS here] because "they're all the same." It just leaves me completely cold, quality be damned.

So, I'm not going to say Ikaruga sucks. I will, however, say that it completely fails to entertain me.

I'm actually surprised more people commented on Ikaruga than Gunstar Heroes or Gradius V.

[FRO]

Threads like this one are why I don't spend much time on these boards anymore.

I feel like a lapsed Catholic whenever I come in here.

"Bless me father of shmupdom, for I have sinned. It has been 450 days since I last played Ikaruga."

"What is your confession, my son?"

"All I play these days are Warcraft III and Halo 2. I tried to play Mars Matrix last week, but I...I couldn't even reach the third level!"

"You have sinned, my son. For your penance you must play Parodius on PCE for 20 hours."

Quote of the day. Hilarious.

[Dartagnan1083]

I felt that Gradius V was asthetically bland when compared to other titles in the series.
But that didn't keep me from enjoying it.

[Vexorg]

There's a lot of games I don't care for (hence my ever growing "Shelf of Oblivion" upon which many of the games I buy end up) but only a few I'd consider truly garbage:

The Sims: I would have just dropped this one and thought nothing more of it, but then my siblings got completely hooked on it and made me despise it.

Black and White: The game that was promised here and the game that you actually got ended up being two completely separate things. Instead of a god game with a compelling AI component, you got an incredibly picky micromanagement sim that completely killed any fun that might have resulted. It is because of this that I'll never touch anything with Peter Molyneux's name on it ever again.

Burnout 3: This one was fun for a while, until you realized that it was completely worthless as any sort of meaningful racing game, and about all you could do at that point was to watch the same wreck you've seen 300 times before. As an aside, this is the last EA game I bought, and will probably remain so for the forseeable future (I decided to stop buying EA products after the NFL exclusive deal for no other reason than to eliminate competition.)

Aero Fighters: How can anyone stand to play this? 2 and 3 are passable, but the first one is complete garbage.

Almost anything made by Data East: I can't name one game after Burgertime that Data East made that didn't have ugly graphics and half-broken gameplay. How could one company keep cranking out such mediocrity for so long? Even their pinball division sucked until Sega got a hold of it, and even then most of it still sucked until Gary Stern bought it and brought ex-Williams\Bally people in.

[jp]

Hmmm... I thought bad games were going to be listed here... not mainstream games teh underground dwellers hate. Granted, I hate them too, so I'm not dissing you guys, fuck GTA and fuck any Final Fantasy past 6. Heh.


As for truly bad games though:
Planet Joker is horrid, and makes my teeth hurt.

[Dartagnan1083]

just thought I'd throw in something I (and many others) happen to agree with.

I didn't write it, you can see the original here by Alex Lucard
http://www.insidepulse.com/articles/1451



Yes, it's true. I've been living a lie all this time. Final Fantasy 7 is the greatest video game ever made. It's all been a gimmick. I mean, come on. We all know that gameplay doesn't matter. That plot is for nerds. Eggheads like their booky-books. Not gamers! And Square knows that. That's why they gave us a game with horrible written 2-D whiny angst ridden characters than even most Goths raise an eyebrow too and say, "Dude. Prozack. Take it." It's what we want! As long as it is pretty and we can see people brooding it's all that matters!

And what's more, that's why we have fan fic. So that WE can write the plots of these pretty but devoid of personality characters. If they had personalities we wouldn't need to write about them, right? And create fan fic where Tifa is into fecal sex play with Cloud! Wow! I know no game developer would be so creative as to put things like that into a game. Squaresoft is smart! They now you don't want to see people think or emote. You want to see swords and blood and pretty Bishonen men lusting after each other.

And Gameplay! Wow. Who needs it? I mean the graphics are all that matters! Whoo! I can't tell you how great it is to watch the Summons material go off with their FIVE MINUTE LONG ANIMATIONS. And to watch them over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again without the ability to speed through them? FANTASTIC! Why would you want to? After all, it's not about actually playing the game! It's about the GRAPHIC! WHOO!

I mean, why bother actually caring about gameplay? Final Fantasy makers knows you want to veg in front of the TV with a bag of pork rinds and beer and pretend brain cells are like back and neck hair: you're loaded with them. So they gave you a game that even a 5 year old can play. Why not? Nintendo is so kiddee it's not even funny and yet Pokemon is a harder game to master than Final Fantasy VII. See? You can be near mindless and still beat Final Fantasy VII because that way children of all ages can appreciate the graphics and grow up to write yaoi! That's smart marketing!

All you have to do is do the same attack over and over again! Preferably a summons or limit break so you can have a battle that lasts for hours and days just like Dragonball Z! They should have Goku vs Sepiroth while Vegeta and Cloud engage in carnal knowledge of each other. Someone should write that fan fic. It would be SWEET! Who wants to play a game where you think or need strategy? Thinking is for poindexters. For people who don't get enough school or haven't played enough Live-Action Vampire: The Masquerade! As long as you were smart and cool and HARDCORE and spent all your time just doing random battles and maxing out your characters you can just attack with whatever move you like best constantly and the game is beaten! Heck, even if you're too lazy to wander around and not level up in a way that loser gamers call "cheesey" because they're stupid enough to want to be challenged, there's so many random battles you can't help but be uber powerful. And even if you run from every battle like a sissy, you still don't need strategy. You just kill kill kill by hitting a button. Sure some things are weak are against certain attacks and strong against others, but that's to shut up the people who want depth for some reason in their games. I mean jeez, depth in gameplay and story? Booooooring. Give me tepid shallow plots and repetitive gameplay anyday as long as it is beautiful to look at! Yowzah!

Heh. As you have to have guessed by now: I still think Final Fantasy VII is one of the most over-rated sacks of crap ever to be produced and develop a scary fan following. Don't get me wrong. It was a average game that showed how powerful the Playstation could be in terms of graphics and make casual gamers, and especially scary anime fanatic girls cream themselves in regards to video games. But other than that, it's a game I can't fathom people honestly, truly enjoying unless Squaresoft put subliminals into the game. Final Fantasy brought RPG's to the masses. But FFVII is proof that you should never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

[sethsez]

I'd just like to say that anybody who bitches about Final Fantasy VII while praising Final Fantasy IV has seriously rose-tinted glasses. This also goes for FFVI fans who call the FFVII plot trite and melodramatic.

Here's a tip: ever since Final Fantasy started giving a shit about its plots, they've always been aimed at hyperactive 14 year olds who want melodrama and angst but need it filtered through swords and magic and END OF THE WORLD shenanigans. Final Fantasy VII just exchanged the endless text boxes for cutscenes, shifted around the cliches and stock characters a bit and crammed a little more sci-fi in there. And the gameplay is as shallow as it ever was, with the possible exception of V.

The SNES ones are just as stupid and shallow as the later ones. Just because you grew up with them doesn't mean they aren't. Let the people who were 14 when FFVII came out enjoy their stupid bullshit just like you enjoyed yours.

[Acid King]

Well, it's not really any different from people bitching about Madden because they hate football or Gran Turismo because they'd rather play an arcadish racer or [insert FPS here] because "they're all the same." It just leaves me completely cold, quality be damned.

So, I'm not going to say Ikaruga sucks. I will, however, say that it completely fails to entertain me.

I'm actually surprised more people commented on Ikaruga than Gunstar Heroes or Gradius V.

It's more akin to Madden player saying he hates Blitz because it doesn't play like Madden. Or a Gran Turismo player complaining Outrun doesn't have circle tracks like GT. Or someone who plays Serious Sam complaining that Rainbow Six doesn't have rocket launchers and screaming suicide bombers, Fight Night cause it's not like Punch Out... etc etc..

[sethsez]

I'm not talking about an entire genre, or an entire playstyle. I'm talking about disliking a single game due entirely to its design. I find the game overly rigid, like most Treasure games.

[UnscathedFlyingObject]

I must be a psychic because I didn't like your post BEFORE you even posted it. Wow.

I'm not obligated to list games you agree with, pookie. Like I said, I could have listed Bubsy 3D, but that's not interesting.

What the hell are you talking about? My initial remark wasn't even addressed at you (it was posted BEFORE you posted your list.) I didn't even comment on what you listed later on. All I said to you was that there isn't anything wrong with a negative thread. Geezuz, is this an argument for argument's sake?

[sethsez]

I must be a psychic because I didn't like your post BEFORE you even posted it. Wow.

I'm not obligated to list games you agree with, pookie. Like I said, I could have listed Bubsy 3D, but that's not interesting.

What the hell are you talking about? My initial remark wasn't even addressed at you (it was posted BEFORE you posted your list.) I didn't even comment on what you listed later on. All I said to you was that there isn't anything wrong with a negative thread. Geezuz, is this an argument for argument's sake?

Because in a reply to me, you then said "I must be a psychic because I didn't like your post BEFORE you even posted it. Wow." right after I posted a list. I must have misinterpreted what you meant by this. Sorry if that's the case.

[Neon]

Almost anything made by Data East: I can't name one game after Burgertime that Data East made that didn't have ugly graphics and half-broken gameplay.

Tumble Pop, Diet GoGo, Boogie Wings?

Doom 3, looks stunning but wheres the gameplay? Fucking boring from start to finish.

Bought it for multiplayer with my friends, it's slow as hell. They should have improved on Quake 3 rather than make it even shittier. You can play the Doom 1 mod yeah, but then why not just play Doom 1?

[Dartagnan1083]

Didn't 'Data East' also publish Mega-Turrican in the States?
They weren't all bad.

[Blade]

I'd just like to say that anybody who bitches about Final Fantasy VII while praising Final Fantasy IV has seriously rose-tinted glasses. This also goes for FFVI fans who call the FFVII plot trite and melodramatic.

Here's a tip: ever since Final Fantasy started giving a shit about its plots, they've always been aimed at hyperactive 14 year olds who want melodrama and angst but need it filtered through swords and magic and END OF THE WORLD shenanigans. Final Fantasy VII just exchanged the endless text boxes for cutscenes, shifted around the cliches and stock characters a bit and crammed a little more sci-fi in there. And the gameplay is as shallow as it ever was, with the possible exception of V.

The SNES ones are just as stupid and shallow as the later ones. Just because you grew up with them doesn't mean they aren't. Let the people who were 14 when FFVII came out enjoy their stupid bullshit just like you enjoyed yours.

Oh boy, would you like to meet my friend who loves to hate FFVII...you two would get along smashingly.

[The n00b]

I'd just like to clarify that I don't hate Gran Turismo because of it's design. I hate it because it's the final fantasy of car sim games. People keep buying it when Forza, GT Legends, GTR, and the TOCA passed it up ages ago. In terms of car physics it is totally obsolete and the lack of car damage is just laziness on the designers' part. The series never improves because they know stupid fanboys will just lap it up.

I hate the final fantasy series because it can't even hold a candle to RPGs like Fallout, Baldur's Gate, and Knights of the Old Republic. It has become a symbol of the once interesting, but now horribly stupid, subsection of RPGs known as the Japanese RPG. Stupid teenage lovestory plots and horribly cliched villains have become the hallmark of Japanese RPGs these days. The strategy rpg still clings to life though and that alone keeps me from demanding that the Japanese turn over the RPG title to the Americans.

[sethsez]

I'd just like to say that anybody who bitches about Final Fantasy VII while praising Final Fantasy IV has seriously rose-tinted glasses. This also goes for FFVI fans who call the FFVII plot trite and melodramatic.

Here's a tip: ever since Final Fantasy started giving a shit about its plots, they've always been aimed at hyperactive 14 year olds who want melodrama and angst but need it filtered through swords and magic and END OF THE WORLD shenanigans. Final Fantasy VII just exchanged the endless text boxes for cutscenes, shifted around the cliches and stock characters a bit and crammed a little more sci-fi in there. And the gameplay is as shallow as it ever was, with the possible exception of V.

The SNES ones are just as stupid and shallow as the later ones. Just because you grew up with them doesn't mean they aren't. Let the people who were 14 when FFVII came out enjoy their stupid bullshit just like you enjoyed yours.

Oh boy, would you like to meet my friend who loves to hate FFVII...you two would get along smashingly.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy FFVII. It's a stupid little soap opera with BIGGER THAN LIFE events and plenty of anime cliches, but it's enjoyable in a brainless sort of way, same as the rest of them.

The people who think it's the next Hamlet are, of course, blithering idiots. I just happen to hold the same ire for people who go on and on about the brilliant and nuanced plot of FFIV, or the amazingly deep characters of FFVI. None of these games are literature, people, not even the ones with squat sprite characters and two frame attacks!

[J-Manic]

- Dragonball Z: Budokai 1, 2 & 3, Sagas, UB 22, Super Butouden, Legacy of Goku 1 & 2
- Dragonball GT: Final Bout
- Thunder Spirits
- Megaman X3, and all the MM games for the GBA & DS
- all DDR games
- Tekken 4
- Devil May Cry 2
- Final Fantasy X, XI and the upcoming XII
- Castlevania: Dracula X

I would rather have a Shaolin monk kick me in the nuts than play/spend my hard-earned money on these games.

[JBC]

First off let me say that none of this is intended to be offensive to seth or anyone in any kind of way. I am dead serious and i'm not being a dick - but this is really what i think.

In reading this thread and reflecting upon past topics i have concluded that me and sethsez are complete opposites through and through. If you where to take me and shoot me with an opposite ray you would get seth. I suppose it all would depend on your preference and unlikely possession of a magical opposite ray.

I also feel that despite the valid arguments seth makes in reference to the games listed that they where posted sheerly for shock value. If you notice every game in the list is a game that is ultimately popular amongst classic gamers. So popular in fact that to complain about them would generally be considered sacrilige. Except for Jet Grind - which i'm fairly sure was thrown in there to offset the obviousness.

The sad thing is is that it sorta worked. Gunstar is what gave it away for me, though. Good one, seth - always the equalizer. Then again - if you really do dislike all of those games then truly we are exact opposites.

I'm willing to bet you would prefer The Matrix over Aliens, Disturbed over Arch Enemy, and cappuccino over coffee.

btw Shadow of the Beast is the worst game ever but i totally dig it.

[sethsez]

I also feel that despite the valid arguments seth makes in reference to the games listed that they where posted sheerly for shock value.

Partially. I genuinely don't like those games, but I even admitted that I posted them because they're be more controversial than Shaq Fu or what have you. I mean, thinking that the Wu Tang fighting game sucked is a given, so why bother? Make things interesting.

Except for Jet Grind - which i'm fairly sure was thrown in there to offset the obviousness.

It was thrown in because I really, truly think the game is crap and got by because it was released when people were still convinced Sega could do no wrong and because the style was great.

Gunstar is what gave it away for me, though. Good one, seth - always the equalizer.

I don't hate Gunstar, in all honesty. I think it's a very promising basis for a game and someday I'd like to see it finished, with real levels and some actual progression.

I'm willing to bet you would prefer The Matrix over Aliens, Disturbed over Arch Enemy, and cappuccino over coffee.

Wrong (though Alien is even better than Aliens), wrong (though I'm not crazy about Arch Enemy's last couple releases), and wrong (I hate anything coffee-based, so I find both equally vile).

[JBC]

Oh thank god. Because all those things really suck! Except for cappuccino - it's allright sometimes.

You're still my evil twin, though.

[sethsez]

That would explain why I look exactly like you except with a curly moustache. (not really)

I doubt our musical tastes are exact opposites, if only because I like so much we're bound to agree on something. Looking at the link in your sig, I would greatly like to talk about metal with you through PMs.

[Eric Manch]

I also feel that despite the valid arguments seth makes in reference to the games listed that they where posted sheerly for shock value. If you notice every game in the list is a game that is ultimately popular amongst classic gamers. So popular in fact that to complain about them would generally be considered sacrilige. Except for Jet Grind - which i'm fairly sure was thrown in there to offset the obviousness.

Yeah, but how is that different from listing Halo or GTA or Madden in your list?

None of these games are "bad" in any proper sense of the word. So why is it acceptable to bash the above titles but "sacrilege" to bash these so-called classics?

Don't be so offended when someone disagrees with your conventional shmupwisdom. Some of the games seth listed I consider to be my favorites of all time, but I don't give a shit if he doesn't like them.

I find it ironic that many of you consider the level of discussion here to be above places like TNL when so few of you seem incapable of tolerating dissent of any kind.

[Fighter17]

Every single CD-i (like those shitty Nintendo games for the CD-i) and FMV game out there. I will destory the disc in half, like I did before with Ground Zero Texas.

[JBC]

... but i wasn't offended. What i was saying was exactly the way i percieved it, Eric. And actually seth's arguments are valid, like i said, even to me. Even what he says about Gunstar's level design - though i'm not sure it would have had the same effect if done differently.

The way that i saw it was that there where too many 'godlike' games in his list and only one mediocre one and so i figured he just wanted to get a rise out of people - not out of spite, but just to cause controversy in the best interest of the thread. Which i was somewhat right about - and maybe would not have posted since seth even did admit to it beforehand but somehow i missed that post.

If seth had replied back to me that Aliens sucks balls and is the worst movie ever made then it would be an opinion as valid as mine since it is just an opinion after all - i never meant to come across as saying anything opposite of that.

I really just meant that me and seth are pretty much opposites - which may not even be entirely true now that i remember he listens to Sigh too - and that's a biggy.

[PaCrappa]

I'm not interested in spending much time thinking about games that I'm not interested in. And there's clearly too many to list. I'd rather think about what I like and just play that. I've played bad games before but who cares?

Pa

[sethsez]

Also, a good chunk of the games I listed are explained easily with the following:

1) I don't like Treasure because I feel they often have great ideas and then never fully follow through with them.

2) If Konami released a game on the SNES and the Genesis (including different entries in the same series), the SNES one will bore me to death and I'll adore the Genesis one. Contra: Hard Corps and Castlevania Bloodlines do it for me like whoa.

And if I said Aliens was the worst movie ever, I'd be wrong. I mean, really... it's fucking Aliens.

[PepsimanVsJoe]

Somebody just had to bring my love for Shadow the Hedgehog into this. Not that I mind really. It's certainly better than Sonic Heroes and Sonic Adventure 1. Granted 3D Sonic games haven't exactly been the best around anyway but eh.

And to be honest outside of a few rentals I have never paid money for a truly bad game..just lucky I guess. Okay Okay wait you got me there.

Blast Wind was a big oops.

[BrianC]

I actually regretted my purchase of Indy 500 for the Game.com. It was only a penny and I still felt ripped off. The handling feels like it was programmed for a Tiger handheld. It's very odd and unresponsive. Turns feel forced and not like actual turns. The graphics look good in stills, but have very few frames of animation.

[sethsez]

The handling feels like it was programmed for a Tiger handheld.

Well... it was.

[BrianC]

The handling feels like it was programmed for a Tiger handheld.

Well... it was.

I know that, but framey, unresponsive, handling is still not good practice for a dot matrix game. Actually, I played the handheld version (got it for cheap and I thought it was a SEGA designed game before I realized Tiger took over the SEGA handhelds) and it's just as bad as the game.com one.