Back around '86 or '87, Imperial Lanes had this side-scrolling game with a top-down perspective. You were this Robocop-like guy walking across the screen. Some of the bad guys took hostages, you were supposed to shoot the bad guys and not the hostages. Once the hostage was free they would run across the screen, if they made it you got bonus points. If they got hit you didn't. The same hostages would repeat to save ROM. There was this one fat guy hostage who we called, get ready for this . .
Lardass.

Okay, fire away.