You know you're a shmupaholic when....

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:47 pm

WarCheese wrote:Hello all:

* when you say the word "shmup" as if everyone understands what you are talking about...

* practice DOJ 1-1 for hours just to chain everything perfectly.

* promise to show your love ones something special, then bring them to the local arcade to show off the fruits of your DOJ practice...

* having no appreciation or understanding of what you just showed them, you spend the next 1/2 hour explaining why chaining DOJ 1-1 is such a great feat...

* when you think all aerial fighters fulfill the following specifications: 1) unlimited bullet storage, 2) spray shots in all directions, 3) move backward, 4) stop in almost stationary positions to engage their group based enemies, 5) fly in space, or the moon, 6) receives power-ups in battle after shooting down enemies

* when you watch WW-II movies, you wonder why an entire air force is required, especially when you can win with just one plane...

* when you argue with your physic prof about the following: 1) lazers can change trajectory, 2) there is plenty of time to dodge lazers fired at you, 3) spacecrafts should be aero-dynamic...

Cheers.

WarCheese

Just when i thought all the internets had been won already with this thread... you have to go win some more.

*goes to print some more copies of The Internet to reward you...*

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:34 pm

I thought of some more!

Numbers below 100,000 fail to hold any meaning for you, except the ones place [which MUST be 0].

You see: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
You think: Strikers 1945 the Movie!

You think 24 ought to be a shmup. Hell, you think ANY movie/TV series/book/etc. with anything remotely resembling shooting ought to be a shmup.

"There's THREE dimensions?! WTF!!1

"

Sly Cherry Chunks · Post by **Sly Cherry Chunks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:29 pm

- You lie awake at night, wangsting over the subtitling errors in the Salamander anime.

- You draw a 160+ page PPG/R-Type/Gradius/Darius crossover fan-comic.

- You recall taking a pencil and pad with you to the arcades when you were about 9, so you could copy all the little spaceships off the screen.

- You actually used to "play" Salamander at school. (in the same way that kids play cops and robbers.)

fl0w · Post by **fl0w** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:33 pm

mirkvid wrote:you log all your high scores in your cellphone while at the arcade so you dont forget them later!

*ahem*

Actually I have developed a Series60 (eg Nokia N-Gage) app that'll let you define games with all possible options and then enter your scores...

Screenshots are here:
http://maso.r0x.free.fr/score/

Plasmo · Post by **Plasmo** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:57 pm

LOL! HI!

SAM · Post by **SAM** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:00 am

You thought the Battle of Midway was fought in A.D. 1943.
You thought the Japanese Battleship Yamato was sunk in the Battle of Midway.
You thought the Cold War was fought by a group of veteran WWII fighter pilots against a secret organization called CANDY.
You thought the Apollo Project was to lunch some warplanes out of the atmosphere to fight against some Aliens from the outer space.
You thought the recent catastrophe in Japan was caused by a castle falling from the sky.
You thought Hibachi is the "Weapon of Mass Destruction" which President Bush was talking about.
You think the fortune of war could be decided by a single warplane.
You think Star War is a limited budget SF movie, otherwise the Anti-Air fire form a Star Destoryer should look like this:

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:43 am

...when you go and have THIS made....

~_~;; *is heavily intoxicated with shmupohol*

SAM wrote:
You thought Hibachi is the "Weapon of Mass Destruction" which President Bush was talking about.

You think the fortune of war could be decided by a single warplane.

You think Star War is a limited budget SF movie, otherwise the Anti-Air fire form a Star Destoryer should look like this:

XDDD you got me nailed with those.

Post by **BulletMagnet** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:10 am

SAM wrote:[*]You thought Hibachi is the "Weapon of Mass Destruction" which President Bush was talking about.

It might as well be.

A few others...

- Despite all the science you took in school over the years, you're still convinced that the earth really was hollow!

- At every sports event you attend, you hold up a sign reading "ARE YOU GREAT? WE ARE GREAT!"

- You think that if you eventually stockpile enough firecrackers they'll eventually form a full bomber.

- You think Superman would look better if he traded in the cape for some luminescent butterfly wings.

- You wonder where all the speeder bikes, gunpods, and giant mecha are in the old samurai movies.

- You think the government should spend less time on the lookout for Al Qaeda and more in search of the guy with the mustache from Game Tengoku.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:30 am

When you install a set of white halogen lights and a set of black lights on your car just so you can flash them to cars of the opposing color.

(Me am tired.)

Minzoku wrote: "There's THREE dimensions?! WTF!!1 "

LOL! SIGGED!11!!1One!

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:23 pm

^ Erm, okay

-- the only fighting game you've heard of is Senko no Ronde.
-- you don't blink.
-- milking has nothing to do with farm animals

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 2:54 am

When you have actually taught your kids to follow your movements while walking on the street, Gradius-style.

Blade · Post by **Blade** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 3:56 am

I'll think of some...

--You play shmups so much your family has an intervention and you ask them what your be attitude for gains are.

--Your idea of an oscar-winning movie is "Superplay 1CC"

--You can speak fluently in the Zendtraedi language. And you know what Protoculture is.

--If someone says a racist comment to you, you think you can change polarity to not be offended and get dot-eater rank.

--You play Electric Guitar and can accurately mimic any piece of shmup music, even going so far as to add lyrics.

--You think throwing cards/knives/miscellaneous objects at random people (especially fast moving people) will get you a high score.

--You're in the Produce section of the grocery store and you notice a stack of mushrooms, and panic, thinking there's a Centipede behind them.

--You have this paranoid thought that when aliens invade earth they will do so by moving left to right and fall faster.

--You join the airforce and become a pilot, only to be disappointed when you realize the HUD doesn't include a Chain Gauge.

--Your wife is pregnant and you take her to get an ultrasound and become fearful when the image displayed looks alot like Dobkeratops.

--You go to a Rave and take some pills while yelling "Speed Up"!

--Your idea of "Cybering" with your girlfriend involves Robotron.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:01 am

When you're able to bring your wife to orgasm in the first try and consider that a 1CC.

Sorry.

Cranky · Post by **Cranky** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:21 am

When the numbers of your Shmup collection exceeds that of your pornography collection.

Stormwatch · Post by **Stormwatch** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:32 pm

When left-wing people say "imperialism", you think they're talking about Bydo.

Damocles · Post by **Damocles** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:55 pm

Stormwatch wrote:When left-wing people say "imperialism", you think they're talking about Bydo.

Oddly...I thought of "Imperium" on the SNES.

tekneekz · Post by **tekneekz** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:57 am

when i accidentally try to say sup to someone and something else pops out of my mouth like "shmup (sup) dude how ya doin" doh...

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 12:16 pm

When a gunfight breaks out, and you run out into the middle of it yelling "REFLECTO... FORCE!" at the top of your lungs. (or, alternately, "REFLECTO LAAAZAAAAR!")

When you make repeatedly get strikes in bowling, and upon the 4th strike, you do a little victory dance, chanting "PERFECT! 40/40 Special Bonus: 10,000!"

When you mentally relate giving your significant other multiple orgasms to milking a boss, and wearing her out as the "boss timeout".
.....sorry.

OneEyedJack · Post by **OneEyedJack** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 10:15 pm

Zweihander wrote:When you mentally relate giving your significant other multiple orgasms to milking a boss, and wearing her out as the "boss timeout".
.....sorry.

HAHAHAHA! So good!
When I did that I just thought of it as getting a high score.

Zweihander · Post by **Zweihander** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 3:26 am

OneEyedJack wrote:
Zweihander wrote:When you mentally relate giving your significant other multiple orgasms to milking a boss, and wearing her out as the "boss timeout".
.....sorry.
HAHAHAHA! So good!
When I did that I just thought of it as getting a high score.

WIN.

Specineff · Post by **Specineff** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:32 am

Hey, I came up with the shmups+secks idea first.

TWITCHDOCTOR · Post by **TWITCHDOCTOR** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:23 am

Man, I've read some truely cool replies in this thread.

I'll add only one...because I'm tired.

When you ride an elevator and "rapid fire" the floor buttons to check if they are in fact, Happs Convex Competitions.

Blade · Post by **Blade** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 7:52 am

Specineff wrote:Hey, I came up with the shmups+secks idea first.

Actually, no, I did.

Minzoku · Post by **Minzoku** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:24 pm

How you play Yu-Gi-Oh!

"Gradius" won't beat Tetran, my ass!!

Rob · Post by **Rob** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:32 pm

When you get in "the zone."

When you get a sharp pain in your wrist after playing shmups at the arcade for a few hours straight because of the rapid button pressing.

When you know throwing the controller on the floor is the time to stop. Or is it?

When your television gets funny colors because you "tated" it.

IlMrm · Post by **IlMrm** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 6:02 am

While playing a Strikers 1999 cab in the hospital, you yell, "Yes I got TB!" and people started moving away from you.

You run out into the middle of the Chinese New Year's parade during the big finale and start dodging firecrackers and hitting the dragon, while yelling "bonus! bonus!"

J-Manic · Post by **J-Manic** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 8:21 am

....when you think of only shmups while masturbating

....when you hum shmup tunes in the shower

Alpolio · Post by **Alpolio** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 9:33 am

-- When you think that Mame is the perfect screen saver.

-- When you see the creature from Aliens for the first time on cable and you stand up and yell, "Hey, they stole that from R-Type!"

-- When you think that a modded Dreamcast would make the "perfect" gift for Christmas.

-- When you refuse to wear your new "The Konami Code" tee-shirt that you got for your birthday, because people will think you're a cheat.

-- When you spend several hours googling all of the underwater shumps with green ships because some guy on the Shmups forums can't remember what he played 15 years ago.

sven666 · Post by **sven666** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:13 am

Alpolio wrote: -- When you spend several hours googling all of the underwater shumps with green ships because some guy on the Shmups forums can't remember what he played 15 years ago.

XD

Ceph · Post by **Ceph** » Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:13 pm

@sven666

Very funny avatar

I hope they won't burn down your house, cut off your head, rape your family, nuke your country (or what else these nice, reasonable, humorous, open-minded people usually do)