Star Wars Episode VII: Cast Unveiled...slated for 12/18/2015

[BIL]

Lucas even looks like a fucking Ewok.

[Skykid]

I heard Fox was behind the ewoks. They wanted to cater to a younger audience and the original script called for wookies instead.

This may or may not be true, but Fox has done some stupid shit in the past so I wouldn't be surprised if it were.

HOW MUCH does Lucas have to fuck up for you to finally stop trying to shift the blame for all his mistakes? It's like pretending that Willow, Howard the Duck, and Red Tails never happened. Oh, no sir! This is still the same Lucas he was in the 70s!

Willow is passable for what it is, I watched it again not too long ago. But Ron Howard directed, not Lucas.

[emphatic]

Willow is passable for what it is, I watched it again not too long ago. But Ron Howard directed, not Lucas.

I have a friend who said, as we walked out of the midnight viewing of The Fellowship Of The Ring, - "I liked Willow more".

[Xyga]

If your brain is equipped with efficient-enough Proustian memories processing so that you can completely put yourself back into your kid-critic self, then every fucking movie from the 80's is better than P.Jackson's LotR. Even 'Conan'.

(seriously I remember I was extatic when I went to see Willow, but today I'm struggling to watch even 20mn of it lol)

[BryanM]

Lucas even looks like a fucking Ewok.

This explains so many mysteries. Perhaps, all of them.

Willow

A masterpiece compared to Star Wars Anything. There I said it.

I'll say it again on Tuesday too, but not Thursday.

If your brain is equipped with efficient-enough Proustian memories processing so that you can completely put yourself back into your kid-critic self, then every fucking movie from the 80's is better than P.Jackson's LotR.

Don't think you even need that much.

Watching someone play a murder simulator game like Diablo or Super Mario Brothers is better than those movies. Much bloat. The bar is low!

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None have ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

[Skykid]

Xyga, the first 20 minutes of Willow is the hump. If Val Kilmer's character hadn't turned up shortly thereafter I think I would have closed it down too.

I have a friend who said, as we walked out of the midnight viewing of The Fellowship Of The Ring, - "I liked Willow more".

That's really pushing it.

[neorichieb1971]

There seems to be a whole bunch of movies lately where the premise is super heroes making cannon fodder out the evil guys for what seems like an age.

Hobbit 3
Avengers : Age of Ultron

Are just 2 that recently watched where the script just won't kill anyone who is a hero no matter how evil/big/powerful the enemy is and its ridiculous.

I will assume this new star wars movie will enter that exact same alignment.. a PG/12 rating where storm troopers in their millions are brushed aside by Jedi's waving their arms around and explosions that go off right in the heroes faces will cause a band aid or 2 to come out.

In Avengers Age of Ultron the only good guy to die is the cause of an accidental hit, you can't even give the bad guys credit for it.

Alec Guiness said in the first movie "Only imperial storm troopers are so precise".. Yeah right, at hitting everything 5 feet either side of what they are aiming at....


That said, with the right evil tone and some pay back, anything can get my blood pumping.. and SW7 is a likely candidate to make that happen.

[BryanM]

Are just 2 that recently watched where the script just won't kill anyone who is a hero no matter how evil/big/powerful the enemy is and its ridiculous.

Yeah... plot armor is awful writing. Guys who can regenerate are the only ones who ever get hit, bullshit like that.

Robert Kirkman's books might have one or two characters with armor up (and you can suspend disbelief for a couple guys - somebody has to be lucky as fuck), but the rest are either killed off or written out once they're no longer relevant to the narrative or have used up their arc. When one of these guys are brought back years later for some screentime, like plucky comic relief Tether Tyrant and Magmaniac, it's for something big.

Is why Marvel and DC characters are so unappealing to me. They can't be allowed to do anything interesting (the end of Grant Morrison's run on X-Men, after being interesting for a while, was heart wrenching when he just went "ok, back to status quo shittiness because X-Men must be shit" at the very end). It's mass market appeal comfort food; can't hate it, but have already seen dudes punching other dudes a million times.

Alec Guiness said in the first movie "Only imperial storm troopers are so precise".. Yeah right, at hitting everything 5 feet either side of what they are aiming at....

It was valid in the first movie since they were told to let the princess escape. Then it entered stupid town immediately thereafter.

Seeing Jedi get one-shot team killed like chumps left and right in episode 3 (it was episode 3 right) just wasn't congruent with the world they built. Jedis can deflect and evade blaster shots in a coma. With both arms broken.

[Volteccer_Jack]

At least in Age of Ultron's case, that's just the trappings of being a comic movie. Capeshit only has two allowable deaths, the motivational Uncle Ben origin and the secondary character biting it for cheap drama. The previous movie cleverly combined both with Phil Coulson.

My hopes for JJ Wars: The Mystery Box Awakens are not high to begin with, but if we get another useless do-nothing sith like Dooku I will throw a shitfit.

[Drum]

In Avengers Age of Ultron the only good guy to die is the cause of an accidental hit, you can't even give the bad guys credit for it.

??? It wasn't an accidental hit, he stood in the way of another Avenger who was getting shot at, so if it wasn't one it would have been the other.
Also, you are going to be proven spectacularly wrong with the new Star Wars movie in terms of heroes not dying.

[neorichieb1971]

In Avengers Age of Ultron the only good guy to die is the cause of an accidental hit, you can't even give the bad guys credit for it.

??? It wasn't an accidental hit, he stood in the way of another Avenger who was getting shot at, so if it wasn't one it would have been the other.
Also, you are going to be proven spectacularly wrong with the new Star Wars movie in terms of heroes not dying.

If something happens with an unintended result it is usually an accident... and in the case of the whole Avengers movie it means none of the Ultron gang actually hit any target at all. I would say it was a crap army to defend Earth with if it cannot even take down a single enemy without the aid of a freak occurrence.

[Drum]

It wasn't a 'freak occurence' - he deliberately shielded them and sacrificed himself. It wasn't an accident that he took the shot.

[Skykid]

Have all you bitches forgotten there's a spoiler tag.

[drauch]

Nah, they're just saving you the pain of actually watching it.

[BryanM]

Spoiler alert: Pennywise the bouncy clown was actually Bruce Willis all along.

[Drum]

It's a good movie, but you get out of it what you bring to it. I've never seen a film torn down by so many people who had no clue what they just watched - it's much smarter than the intended audience, apparently (and it's a popcorn flick through and through).

[Squire Grooktook]

It's a good movie, but you get out of it what you bring to it. I've never seen a film torn down by so many people who had no clue what they just watched - it's much smarter than the intended audience, apparently (and it's a popcorn flick through and through).

Felt this same way about the first one. I felt underwhelmed by it on first viewing, but on the second watch, I recognized that Joss worked in a few little touches here and there to compensate for the fact that it was basically an hour and a half of build up to 30 minutes of explosions. Not something I'd write home about, but entertaining enough.

[Lord Satori]

I heard Fox was behind the ewoks. They wanted to cater to a younger audience and the original script called for wookies instead.

This may or may not be true, but Fox has done some stupid shit in the past so I wouldn't be surprised if it were.

Just going to say that I was only relaying something I heard awhile ago. I'm some Lucas worshipping scrub who'll defend him to the death or some shit. Ewoks or not, he still created those effin gungans, which is a worse travesty in my opinion.

Have all you bitches forgotten there's a spoiler tag.

I'd hardly count a vague "somebody died instead of somebody else" a spoiler. I haven't seen the movie either, but it isn't like they specified who or where.

[Skykid]

I'd hardly count a vague "somebody died instead of somebody else" a spoiler. I haven't seen the movie either, but it isn't like they specified who or where.

So going into a movie expecting at least one of the main cast to die in the finale by defending another member of the main cast doesn't constitute a spoiler in any way.

Too smart for me Satori Kun, carry on!

[Mischief Maker]

Xyga, the first 20 minutes of Willow is the hump. If Val Kilmer's character hadn't turned up shortly thereafter I think I would have closed it down too.

Maybe as a little kid he may have seemed cool, but holy shit does Val Solo fail to match the charisma of young Harrison Ford!

In my mind, the only way the new SW movies can work is if they treat the prequels as non-cannon. For instance, that silly rule that only two Jedis at a time can be seduced by the darkside.

[Drum]

It's a good movie, but you get out of it what you bring to it. I've never seen a film torn down by so many people who had no clue what they just watched - it's much smarter than the intended audience, apparently (and it's a popcorn flick through and through).

Felt this same way about the first one. I felt underwhelmed by it on first viewing, but on the second watch, I recognized that Joss worked in a few little touches here and there to compensate for the fact that it was basically an hour and a half of build up to 30 minutes of explosions. Not something I'd write home about, but entertaining enough.

A2 is a much trickier, denser movie than the first - you really need to pay attention, which is something you really don't expect to have to do with movies like this. Seen so many people miss so many basic plot points, character beats and themes and this really seems to have killed their enjoyment. I'm not convinced it's the movie's fault, however - it's not *that* hard. But it is definitely the most complicated movie of its kind - tougher nut than Watchmen or the Batflicks.

[Mischief Maker]

Mr. Plinkett (Redlettermedia) weighs in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93uSIKzPmik

[NTSC-J]

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Comic-Con 2015 Reel

Really sounds like they're talking to the older generation of Star Wars fans by continuing to mention all the practical effects.

[emphatic]

Looks very nice though.

[Skykid]

Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Comic-Con 2015 Reel

Really sounds like they're talking to the older generation of Star Wars fans by continuing to mention all the practical effects.

Actually kind of a beautiful thing for me.

Although I have no idea if the movie will be good (I don't not trust Abrams, but I've seen his weaknesses) I'm overjoyed that someone is actually returning to the idea of sets and practical effects as a way to immerse the viewer. I can tolerate CG when its effects are overshadowed and obfuscated by practical elements. I've become so distant from movies because of the overuse of CG that this is almost a dream in motion - especially since it's Star Wars.

It's a real fuck you to Lucas too. It's like saying "look shit head, this is how you were supposed to do it".

When this comes out I'm hoping it will make me instantaneously forget the prequels ever existed.

[Icarus]

When this comes out I'm hoping it will make me instantaneously forget the prequels ever existed.

What prequels? :3
The Comic-Con reel was a thing of beauty. I'm hoping that when it comes out, it's so good that it shows filmmakers that even though it may take more time to make, getting hands-on with real effects and not overloading on CG can really bring a movie to life.

[Skykid]

When this comes out I'm hoping it will make me instantaneously forget the prequels ever existed.

What prequels? :3

Ha ha, yeah!

[NTSC-J]

Looks very nice though.

Actually kind of a beautiful thing for me.

I guess my comment came off as a complaint, but that's not at all what I meant. I'm all for practical effects, especially for Star Wars. The shitty editing, acting, characters, direction, dialogue, plot, and pillaging of the original trilogy aside, the most offensive thing to me about the prequels was the overuse of CG.

It's a real fuck you to Lucas too. It's like saying "look shit head, this is how you were supposed to do it".

Exactly what I felt. They keep mentioning that this is a Star Wars universe that feels real and lived in, implying it's not going to be that plastic, lifeless thing that George gave his fans. I doubt he'll ever say it in public, but he's got to feel like some of this is a slight to him.

[Skykid]

^
I didn't think you were complaining.

It's a real fuck you to Lucas too. It's like saying "look shit head, this is how you were supposed to do it".

Exactly what I felt. They keep mentioning that this is a Star Wars universe that feels real and lived in, implying it's not going to be that plastic, lifeless thing that George gave his fans. I doubt he'll ever say it in public, but he's got to feel like some of this is a slight to him.

Oh, internally it must be an incredibly painful thing. As much as I'm angry about his absolute fail, how badly he cocked absolutely everything up, and the stain he left on the legacy, part of me understands the retrospective turmoil he must have on a daily basis whenever he recalls his ineptness and the destruction of what should have been a wonderful thing.

As a creative - and at least I can agree George Lucas was based on his previous work, despite its fluctuating levels of value - I know it must hurt very badly inside to:

- Realise you've created trash
- Realise you've genuinely upset the largest fanbase on earth
- Ruined your name
- Irrevocably damaged the universe you created
- Realise you can't make movies for shit
- Have lost all artistry and understanding of the film-making craft
- Realise that all this is partly because you're getting old and out of touch
- Are about to be seriously one-upped by JJ Abrams

But it's ok Lucas. You sold Star Wars. Simply, that's the best possible apology we could have hoped for.

[Never_Scurred]

I heard Fox was behind the ewoks. They wanted to cater to a younger audience and the original script called for wookies instead.

This may or may not be true, but Fox has done some stupid shit in the past so I wouldn't be surprised if it were.

HOW MUCH does Lucas have to fuck up for you to finally stop trying to shift the blame for all his mistakes? It's like pretending that Willow, Howard the Duck, and Red Tails never happened. Oh, no sir! This is still the same Lucas he was in the 70s!

I'll put it like this....
George Lucas got soooooooooo much shit that he had to resort to pretending to care about black people to try to get out from under it. Thing is...niggas care about George Lucas as much as they care about the Tuskegee Airmen. When that plan failed, he said "fuck it" and sold the franchise.


With that out of the way, tho....I'm not a huge SW-tard, but shit, I love me some ESB and the RotJ Endor Battle like I love chubby white women and high cholesterol food. I never saw the Phantom Menace....I regard it in the same way I do ST: Insurrection-it just looks like its not worth my time, not because of any SW fandom, but simply because at that time, SW didn't appeal to me like that. I did see AotC in the theatre. I fell asleep during the whole bullshitass romance sequence and woke up at the part where Padme is in the factory-though I mostly attributed that to having worked earlier that day. Didn't hate the movie-I liked the idea of the Stormtroopers being clones of Jango Fett, the visuals of the water planet where the clones were being made (it looked AMAZING on the big screen), and...thats it. I did think the Yoda lightsaber battle was cool-not "OMG Yoda kicking ass!" cool, but "huh, Yoda with that lightsaber." cool.
Saw RotS on bootleg, now THAT one I hated. Especially the fight between Yoda and Sidious. Its sad that I have to argue people down about that pointless ass, tensionless, fight scene. I mean, what was the point of that fight other than for GL to waste screen time until we see the inevitable Anakin vs. Obi-Wan showdown? We already saw Yoda swing a lightsaber in the previous film, and we all know its pretty much the result of Yoda's inability to best a lesser opponent with his force abilities. If Yoda's force abilities could be easily rendered impotent by a fucking apprentice of Sidious, and both him and Sidious appear the OT unscathed, what was the fucking point of seeing those two fight other than to waste my time?

As for the new movie, I am approaching it with cautious optimism. Saw Abram's ST film, and please let it not be (completely) like that. The new ST wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be-loved the in-jokes and references to the TOS films, especially the blatant shoutout to ST: IV. Sadly, this entry has many of the same faults as the TNG films (biggest fault-Kirk has to kick the villain's ass, basically), and many of its own (fuck all that lens flare, Anton Yelchin's acting, Uhura's only reason for being on that ship is because she gave good head, how is Spock and Uhura not as repulsive as Scott and Uhura in part V? why is McCoy giving input on tactical operations-shouldn't he be posted up in the sick bay?, Shatner would've been a much more effective choice than Nimoy to the plot-I mean, OG Kirk telling BG Kirk how to trip up BG Spock would've worked better)

Overall, I want to see this new SW film, but if its shit-ehhh, at least we'll get some great Plinkett reviews out of it. Also, all you EU-tards can take all them damn books, cartoons, video games, and comics, tuck 'em shits between your asscheeks and go hide behind a fuckin' tree with Lord Satori and his Jar Jar Society of Prequel-Lovers.