Most physically painful experience you've ever had?

[JBC]

Earlier I needed to take an Alka Seltzer + tablet for my allergy probs but only had a tiny shot glass. It started to fizz over so I downed it but one of the tablets had barely dissolved. It lodged in my throat & let me tell you - do not make this same mistake. It was incredibly painful & felt like I had swallowed a hot coal.

Now, this isn't anywhere near my most painful experience, but it did suck & I felt pretty stupid afterwards.

My most painful experience was a very long canoe race I won when I was 18. By the end of the day my whole upper half felt like I had hot needles jabbed everywhere & I was in very good shape at the time. My partner was no help to me & had tipped the canoe once, which I had to drag out & drain. There where guys thrice my size in some of those canoes, so I really don't know how I managed. I remember being sore for like a month afterwards

[drauch]

One time I somehow got this piece of fuzz stuck down in my dick hole. Burned like crazy. Peeing wouldn't force it out; I tried multiple times. I'd be damned if I wasn't going to stick something else in my dick hole to get it out. I wound up forcing myself to jerk off to shoot it out. Worked like a charm. Don't underestimate the power of masturbation.

[JBC]

I'll remember that next time I'm passing a stone. Skaboosh!

[BulletMagnet]

@drauch - And now for the rest of my life I will be picturing your avatar as saluting in approval of that, er, strategic maneuver.

[cicada88]

shooting fuzz out of dicks

[Necronopticous]

One time I somehow got this piece of fuzz stuck down in my dick hole. Burned like crazy. Peeing wouldn't force it out; I tried multiple times. I'd be damned if I wasn't going to stick something else in my dick hole to get it out. I wound up forcing myself to jerk off to shoot it out. Worked like a charm. Don't underestimate the power of masturbation.

Would you say it was easier or harder for you to ejaculate with dick fuzz?

[Kollision]

KIDNEY STONES CANNOT BE DESTROYED

[drauch]

One time I somehow got this piece of fuzz stuck down in my dick hole. Burned like crazy. Peeing wouldn't force it out; I tried multiple times. I'd be damned if I wasn't going to stick something else in my dick hole to get it out. I wound up forcing myself to jerk off to shoot it out. Worked like a charm. Don't underestimate the power of masturbation.

Would you say it was easier or harder for you to ejaculate with dick fuzz?

Went about the same: completely emotionless.

[Ruldra]

Asshole doctor gave me stitches without anesthetic. I was just a kid and barely remember the experience though.

[Kollision]

When I had my first kidney stone crisis I puked from pain inside the hospital's bathroom as the nurse called me in my cell phone to apply the medication.
I aswered her screaming, while puking.

It must have been tragically fun. For her, at least.

[Bananamatic]

somehow managed to sit on my nuts when i was 13 or so
got a swollen testicle and had to go to school with it

[lilmanjs]

The feeling of a sneeze at the same time you're leaning over to upchuck a bunch of blood out of your stomach. Only to be embarrassed by being told if I need to do it mention and we'll turn you on your side. Like not even 10 seconds and I'm like, hey! I never knew you could sneeze and puke at the same time, but I learned that day. Hurt in ways I never want to feel again. I can't say the bike wreck I had before that as being the most painful experience I've ever had because I don't remember anything about it. I just remember getting someplace, lying down outside and between moments of passing out, hearing ladies freaking out that I had so much blood coming out. But seriously I wish upon nobody to puke and sneeze at the same time. That's just pain in ways you won't think possible!

[Xyga]

Top place: waking up after cornea transplant surgery. Mouth wide open because I was surprised by the intensity but I couldn't even scream, just instinctively I was trying to get away from the pain by crawling backwards on the hospital bed.

Second place: That time when I let an oblong stone of approx 18kg/39lb (yeah I weighed it) fall tip first right on my big toe.
Before that day I had no idea I could produce such strange vocals, kinda like auto-tune but very loud.
Very lucky I didn't break any bone.

@Kollision; you make me think about that guy who got a hernia and thrombosis, weeks of pain that ended up in three surgery rounds, at some point they had to do emergency anesthesia on him because the pain was so intense he couldn't control his body anymore.

EDIT: almost forgot I had five of those removed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalazion not the most painful, but the sensation to have your eyelids split open, teh curettage... ><

[guigui]

Procuration pain counts ?

My wife just gave birth to our first child. Jesus, when things go wrong, they DO hurt.

[mamboFoxtrot]

Well, I broke my left arm when I was four, and my right wrist when I was six, so I'm just going to assume those are top place, but I seriously can't remember what it felt like.

Other fun goes to ingrown toenail surgeries. Getting the anesthetic injected into your toe feels GREAT, especially when they start cutting the nail out and OOPS, looks like the injection didn't quite work! I had some anesthesia problems with the dentist before as well (thankfully didn't lead to anything painful), so maybe I'm slightly resistant to the stuff?

I also once experienced a rather severe and extremely odd and hard to describe pain in a dream once where I got punched in the face with brass knuckles. It was like mini-explosions in my sinuses or something.

[TransatlanticFoe]

Jumped up to hit a sweet smash in a game of badminton, landed on the side of my foot and rolled my ankle over 90 degrees... to the outside. My entire weight went through it, rupturing the associated ligaments. I was nearly physically sick, the pain was so intense.

[cave hermit]

Once when I was much younger (5 years old maybe? I'm not quite sure) My mom took me to China to visit my grandparents. They lived in a tiny apartment complex with the bedroom placed dangerously close to the stairs.

You can probably see the direction this is headed in.

I decided suddenly that I wanted to jump on the bed for no apparent reason. So I did.
My mom saw me and told me to stop
"No!" I yelled back.
I flubbed one of my landings and fell down the long flight of stairs headfirst, eventually ending with the back of my head smashing into an active radiator.

I had to have the back of my head stitched back together.

[JBC]

Oh man, that's rough. I once backed my naked ass into a radiator & left grill marks on my cheeks. My family got a good laugh out of it when I ran out of the bathroom crying, "I burnt my bottooooom!"

[Sly Cherry Chunks]

Brain shingles for me.

I once rammed a scalple into my leg right up to the handle. I also cut my hand so badly on some broken glass that I could peel back the skin and see my tendons. In both cases I felt nothing

[cicada88]

Brain shingles for me.

Sounds so f'n raw.

[Obscura]

Back when I did martial arts, me and a friend were sparring, and I took a full-power jump side kick to the nuts. It pretty much incapacitated me for about 30 minutes, and hurt for a lot longer than that.

[BIL]

I've had a fortunate life. Only pain that registered enough to remember was a blinding headache that showed up with zero medical history or apparent cause, like a decade ago. Felt like a metal shard was lodged behind my right eye. Going from sitting to standing was like grinding it into the bone. Woke me up in the middle of the night, made me puke until I was bringing up only bile, then drink gallons of water to continue puking in relative comfort. Had my dad drive me to the hospital, basic checkup, ITS NOT A TOOMAH, got some pills and it went away in 24hrs.

Whatever it was will probably come back and randomly kill me at some point ROFL. :[

I also cut my hand so badly on some broken glass that I could peel back the skin and see my tendons. In both cases I felt nothing

Same. Once got a look at my right pinkie's tendon, and the split sheath covering it (thought the latter was bone at first). No pain, but the slight delay between making/releasing a fist and everything visibly sliding into its proper place made me uneasy.

[rancor]

A hot motorcycle engine fell on my leg when I was ~8 years old, and I wasn't big enough to get it off. I don't remember that pain so much (but I do remember the smell of my own burning skin) it was the weeks of medical care needed afterwards. I would have to go to the hospital every few days to have my rotting skin peeled off and it was absolutely excruciating.

[Lord Satori]

Holy fuck, you guys! I don't think I've ever had anything like that in my life!

Though if you've ever gotten your eyes dilated and had a bright light shined in your eyes right after, you'll understand how painful it is. It's a completely different kind of pain, but it's very painful nonetheless.

[CStarFlare]

Hmm. Five years back or so I had an inflammation of my chest muscles that made it hard to breathe. Not seriously painful, but lying in bed thinking that I might stop breathing when I fall asleep was rough.

A couple years ago I was out running when I felt a serious pain on the top of my foot every time I stepped. I was a mile from home and didn't have my phone on me, so I hobbled home. I felt fine as long as I didn't put weight on it so wasn't really that bad.

I also spent a week on Oxy when I had my wisdom teeth out. I probably wasn't in enough pain to justify it, but I loved that Oxy and it made Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow a lot more fun.

[brentsg]

A hot motorcycle engine fell on my leg when I was ~8 years old, and I wasn't big enough to get it off. I don't remember that pain so much (but I do remember the smell of my own burning skin) it was the weeks of medical care needed afterwards. I would have to go to the hospital every few days to have my rotting skin peeled off and it was absolutely excruciating.

You made me remember one. I was driving a tractor for quite a long time and it ran out of gas in a bad spot. I grabbed a 5 gallon gas can and climbed up in a hurry. When the liquid in the can shifted, I lost my balance and instinctively grabbed the stack so I didn't fall. First I heard the sizzle, then I smelled the flesh burning. Then I felt the pain. Then I fell. To the ER I went. #redneck

[brentsg]

My worst though, was hand, mouth, and foot disease. I had open sores, like raw blisters that had popped, all inside my mouth and all over my tongue, lips, throat. That sucks a lot, but I also had a latent strep infection that took over my mouth, over the sores. The whole thing lasted about 10 days, during which only narcotics let me sleep or swallow. I didn't eat or talk and was quarantined the whole time. Meanwhile my asshole boss kept calling and emailing because he assumed I was full of shit and he wanted me at work.

[Bananamatic]

thought this would be relevant here, doubt anyone here had it this bad

[KAI]

48 consecutive hours with heavy thoothache. I took an entire pack of Ibuprofen (600mg) that time.

[MOSQUITO FIGHTER]

Don't know why I'm sharing all this. But anyway.

When I was a kid I was going outside to play in my kiddy pool. There was a metal rake lying on the ground right outside by the back door. I stepped down hard on it while barefoot. Instead of it doing the cartoon thing where it pops up and smacks you in the face, the metal tips went through my foot. I had a large towel soaked full with blood by the time I made it to the hospital. I passed out before I made it there. Don't remember how many stitches I had to get.

One time I got a yeast infection from my ex-girlfriend that was so bad that it was extremely painful to stand up straight. If I was hunched over it didn't hurt as bad. I could barely pee too. Burn, burn, burn.

I was working at a steakhouse. We would get these huge ass packages of frozen chicken that we were always short of. The pack would be frozen solid as a brick and the managers and cooks would be griping at us because they ran out of chicken breasts. Our usual method of dealing with this was to chisel away at the ice blocks of chicken until we could get it separated and then soak them in water to make the thaw out faster. One day I was doing the usual chiseling on the chicken ice blocks. This one was frozen especially solid. As I was going at it with a huge steak knife the handle slipped out from my hand and the blade ran down my thumb. It cut all the way down to the white tendon on my thumb. I could pull the flap of thumb skin back and look right at it. I was bleeding pretty bad. Then when I tried to go home my car wouldn't start. I told my boss, he tried to start my car a couple times and then walked away. I then walked nine miles home while bleeding into a hand towel. When I got home I sat down on the couch and fainted. After I woke up and saw that I was still bleeding I went to the hospital and got nine stitches in my thumb. When I went to the hospital I told them to file it as a workmans comp on my employer. They did and the managers at work were pissed and threatened to drug test me. They never did though and many months later after arguing about it and my flat out refusal to to pay for it they eventually paid the hospital bill. So much shit.

I was working at my factory job and everything seemed to be going wrong that day. I was pissed so I kicked one of the washing machines on the assembly line really hard. It hurt pretty bad, but I shrugged it off. When I got home my entire big toenail was black. The entire nail fell out a few days later. I had no toenail on my big toe after that. It felt way worse than when I kicked the machine It eventually grew back, I had to dip it in hydrogen peroxide twice a day. It kept wanting to get infected. The nail grew back but it never grew back quite right though. I'll probably get a really bad ingrown nail from it eventually.

Probably the worst was a few years ago I was taking pain meds for my back pain. That helped a lot with my back pain. But the side effect of it was that I couldn't take a dump. It got so bad that my intestines felt like they were having knives shoved in then. I went to the emergency room because I didn't have health insurance at the time and I felt like my insides were being stabbed over and over. All they did was give me three IV bags of saline and charge me $2000 dollars. I later went to a real doctor. He did x-rays on me and my intestines showed up solid white on the x-ray from all the crap inside me. I had to drink an entire bottle of magnesium citrate every day for a week to get myself right again.