Shmup creepypastas

[Captain]

See title, can be an existing one (doubt one actually exists though) or preferably your own. If you want to make a joke pasta you have to include a real one in your post as well. not

Go.

[Udderdude]

This story is very scary so beware.

Once upon a time someone was going through an abandoned arcade. He opened a candy cab that had "WARNING HAUNTED" written on it in permanent marker. And then a SKELESHMUP popped out!

The end.

[BIL]

This one time I booted up Gynoug and there was a gigantic veiny penis on the screen. I screamed and screamed until I realised my TV was off and it was only the reflection of my own impressively beefy dong. Fin

tm & c BIL dont steal

[Captain]

A+ Would read again.

[emphatic]

blackman.txt

[BIL]

Spoiler

[drauch]

One time I dropped like $2000 bucks on a full Cave kit and when I hooked it up to my cab it displayed a jumbling mess of text. At first glance I thought it was a mix of Japanese and English, but after focusing on it for a few minutes I began to realize it was actually every shitty thread you've started. I panicked and tried to turn it off, but the plug got stuck in the wall. Then that really shitty Raiden II second version music started blaring and I couldn't stop crying. The monitor exploded, sending CRT shrapnel into my face, knocking me unconscious. When I awoke I realized my cab was no longer there, but I still had one of those coveted Cave cardboard boxes from my kit. I opened it up and it was a new Cave iOS game on a track phone. I shoved it down my throat and died and my cats ate my corpse.

[BIL]

At first glance I thought it was a mix of Japanese and English, but after focusing on it for a few minutes I began to realize it was actually every shitty thread you've started.

LMAO aww.

[Captain]

That seems so out of place in the whole thing, lol.

If that is even meant as an insult to me, I retaliate with an accurate description of you.


So anyway, some time earlier, I was making a video of myself playing Eliminate Down, and I focused horribly, I really seemed to get into the game. I played for hours at first, I did several runs, after I managed to no-miss the entire game, I focused on score, by the time I was satisfied, It was already time for sleep, where had the whole day gone? I recall i started with this as soon as I've had my breakfast.

So, I started uploading the video and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night, and saw the video had been fully uploaded. Satisfied, I checked the whole thing once more, and went back to bed with my next gaming goals: the elimination of anyone with Down syndrome.

[GaijinPunch]

At first glance I thought it was a mix of Japanese and English, but after focusing on it for a few minutes I began to realize it was actually every shitty thread you've started.

LMAO aww.

The rest of the thread was difficult to read after that nugget above.

[Ruldra]

Is this another "research" thread, OP?

[trap15]

At first glance I thought it was a mix of Japanese and English, but after focusing on it for a few minutes I began to realize it was actually every shitty thread you've started.

Same.

[Captain]

Is this another "research" thread, OP?

Nope, just an attempt at a humorous thread ruined by needless internet hate.

I have a feeling that I could make the best thread ever now, but it would get ruined just because I'd be the creator.

edit: not responding to anything unrelated to topic from now on, if you have pastas, joke or not, to post for our amusement, please do.
If you have a rude remark or mockery that relates to me (presumably also for amusement), make a thread for it and keep it out of here.

[drauch]

[Lord Satori]

One time Gus actually played a new game.